Her Last Defense
by Latenightmom
Summary: Will was Alicia's last defense, her last protection. He could protect her, literally save her life. But she didn't deserve his protection anymore. He'd made that perfectly clear over the past eighteen months. If she couldn't convince him of what was happening it would be up to her to save her life.- Set just about now, 5/15 never happens!
1. Chapter 1

**Mistaken Identity**

It was eleven at night and the rain was pouring down as Alicia drove into the covered parking garage at Lockhart Gardner. A place that up until six weeks ago she hadn't been in nearly a year. She hadn't called ahead to announce her arrival. She didn't need to. Even if she and Will were still at war eighteen months after her exit from his firm, she knew him like the back of her hand. And knew he would never stop burning the late night oil.

She was nervous as she got out of her car. She sensed time was running out, and felt like everything was past the point of being out of control. At what point had she lost control of everything? She wondered as she stepped into the elevator hitting the button for the twenty-eighth floor. She knew the answer. It had been two weeks ago, and now it was fear more than anything that had brought her here late at night in a thunderstorm. It was fear that a client who six months earlier had come in charming her, and nearly everyone else in the firm along with the promise of twenty million plus billable hours per year that had brought her here. No one suspected the tall, dark, handsome, successful businessman had a secret, and that he was actually a clever criminal.

What does a real criminal look like anyway? She'd defended many. She knew the answer and it was that they looked exactly like the rest of us. John Pierson had built up such a good facade that he'd gone undetected. That was exactly what he was counting on when he entered the offices of Florrick, Agos & Associates. It was no accident that Pierson had chosen Alicia as his attorney. He researched the women that worked for him well. He'd chosen the perfect time to come in and ask for her assistance just weeks after she had to resign as State's Attorney elect. He knew she and the firm would be at a vulnerable state then, and took advantage of it.. He wasn't wrong. Alicia had no idea when Pierson walked into her office and asked if she could take care of his venture capital business transactions all those months ago, that he was a criminal. She also didn't know that his victims were women just like her. Strong, independent, successful women who he charmed to get what he wanted or needed. But if they didn't produce the results he wanted he got rid of them.

Six months after meeting him, Pierson had come in needing her help on a criminal suit against his business partner who had been accused of rape. The state's attorney's office had dropped the case because there was never enough evidence to convict him. So the victim decided to sue, and had hired Lockhart Gardner as her firm.

Pierson insisted Alicia be the head attorney on the case. His insistence was met with resistance. Ten months earlier there had been a quiet pact made between Diane and Cary that Alicia and Will were to never be put on the same case again. Diane hadn't told Will, but Cary had put his foot down more than once with Alicia and after the trial she'd faced against Will ten months earlier she couldn't really argue with Cary's logic. Will and Alicia both still held some hurt and bitterness from her exit from his firm. While they could have a civil conversation on the rare occasion they happened to meet at Chicago law functions, it was a completely different story when they were in court together. They knew each other too well, knew all the right buttons to push, and it turned the courtroom into a fair amount of chaos.

In a meeting between Alicia and Pierson, he threatened to pull his business if Alicia didn't head the case. He argued that, who better to use than a lawyer who used to work at the firm that was suing his partner? Who better to use than someone who used to have an intimate relationship with their lead attorney? The relationship had been exposed during her campaign after some of the emails from Lockhart Gardner had been hacked into and released to the public. Pierson even went as far as telling her she that maybe she could use that past relationship to convince Will to settle this case quietly. She would have normally told the client to get lost after such a statement. But they needed his business so she took the case.

Things had gone smoothly until two weeks prior when after a few weeks of heated depositions and attempts at settling, Will's client wouldn't accept any of Alicia's offers, and the case moved to trial. That's when Pierson began to slowly put fear into Alicia like she'd never know before. He threatened her life if she didn't win. Which at first she didn't take seriously. In the following days she realized he was very serious and she would have gone to the authorities, but he'd threatened Grace's life if she told anyone.

So now here she was stepping off the elevator walking through the quiet halls towards Will's office. In less than twelve hours the judge would be coming back with a verdict. She wondered where the reinforcement was that had figured out Pierson was the bad guy as she approached the office. Nowhere was her answer. Not even the FBI had figured out what she had over the course of the past two weeks. And she was about to be the next victim if she couldn't convince Will to get his client to settle.

Will was her last defense against this man, her last protection. He could protect her, literally save her life. But she didn't deserve his protection anymore. He'd made that perfectly clear over the past eighteen months. If it had been two years earlier when she still worked for him she would have told him everything, and she knew he would have done everything he could to stop this threat on her life. But that was then and this was now.

Will sat at his desk looking through the pile of work that sat before him not reading any of it. His mind was on Alicia and some of the things she'd tried to do and use to win over the course of the trial. It had taken everyone by surprise, especially him. He wasn't sure if he'd been the one to change in the past months, or if it had been her, but everything about her had seemed off to him.

She paused at the door watching him, thinking he would look up and acknowledge her, but he didn't. So she knocked lightly on the door and then moved into the all too familiar space of his office. She noticed he hadn't changed a thing. He looked surprised when he looked up and saw her, but before he could object to her being there she sat confidently in the chair in front of his desk.

"I'm here to offer a settlement."

"Really?" he said with a smirk, sitting back in his chair. "We're not negotiating at this point. I'm pretty sure the judge will rule in my client's favor tomorrow." He folded his arms across his chest.

"Oh come on Will, my client didn't do this and you know it. This whole suit was just an attempt on your client's part to destroy my client's reputation. Their companies are in competition. He's a good man, and would have never even touched your client."

Her eyes never wandered from his as he sat up in his chair and leaned forward. "If that's true then why am I confident that my client will walk away with more money tomorrow than I'm sure your client is willing to settle for tonight? Why would you even be here offering to settle if you're so sure your client's innocent?"

The real issue was that her client really was innocent, really was everything she'd just said. It was Pierson who had committed the rape, but his partner was taking the blame for it.

"My client and his partner don't want their multi-million dollar company's name drug through the mud, and he's innocent." She shot back raising her tone.

"What's he offering?" Will asked, not because he was going to take it to his client, but two could play this game.

"Three million and your client keeps this quiet."

Will chuckled. "So he did do it?"

Alicia stood placing her hands on his desk leaning forward. "No he didn't do it." Her tone had risen and it was irritating him. But she had to convince him. She was about to push the line of silence she'd been threatened with over the edge. "My client is innocent."

"No, there wasn't enough evidence to convict him. He was never proven innocent," Will said, raising his tone to meet hers.

"So my client's guilty because your client gave a sketch artist a description of the man that raped her and it looked similar to my client? There was never a match to the DNA. Prosecutors thought it was someone in his family, but that didn't pan out. Everyone had a solid alibi and the DNA didn't match any of them. Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe my client has a sibling out there that no one knows about?" And then she stopped. She'd just given away more than she should have. But it didn't matter she knew the whole thing sounded crazy.

"Do you know how ridiculous that sounds Alicia?" He stood to meet her gaze. "That there's a relative of your client whom he knows nothing about, but just happened to be in the same restaurant as your client that night?" He paused, his eyes boring into hers. "Let alone the fact that I can barely afford to eat at that restaurant, what you're telling me is that your mufti-million dollar client just happens to have a blood relative who he doesn't know, with just as much money as he does in the same city? You're grasping at straws." He placed his hands on his desk and leaned forward moving within inches of her.

"Yes, that is exactly what I'm telling you." She held her gaze and he couldn't help but be startled at the fact that she looked completely honest in what she'd just said. He'd spent hours staring into those eyes in the past and he could still read them. But this whole notion was absurd. He looked down briefly and for the second time that day noticed the purple colored flesh of a bruise on her. This time it sat just above her left breast and under her collar bone. A different spot from the one he'd caught sight of earlier. It was hard to miss at the angle she occupied in front of him. She'd covered it well and unless you were at just the right angle and close to her like he was, it would have remained undetected. The thought of how that bruise had come to be there sickened him. He looked back up into her eyes and continued in a lowered tone.

"Alicia I'm not negotiating with you anymore. We are going to wait for the judge's verdict tomorrow."

She looked away, and neither one said anything for a few moments. He was still trying to figure out what was going on with her. She had spent the entire trial fighting his every point to the bitter end, just as she was now doing, and it infuriated him. However, part of him could not resist how attractive this side of her was. He still had feelings for her, but they had been buried for months. It was just in the past six months he'd allowed some of them to creep back into his subconscious. If he'd really stopped to think about it before this moment he would have admitted he could sense something was wrong.

She looked back over to him. "You aren't even going to take the offer to your client?" she said, holding her firm stance leant over his desk.

"No" he said, standing up straight again. She looked at him for a moment then away again. As she did he caught a brief glimpse of the fear that gripped her at the moment. She sighed and turned to grab her things. The offer was all she had. There wasn't anything else she could do.

"Alicia, why are you fighting this so hard?" he said, moving out from behind his desk.

She didn't meet his gaze but continued to pull her bag over her shoulder. "This is my last defense, my last case. I just wanted it to be a win." She turned to leave his office and briefly looked over to him as she made her way to the door.

"Wait, what do you mean this is your last case?'

She paused at the door and turned back around as he started to walk towards her. The confusion was written all over his face, and for the first time in nearly two years he actually looked at her with gentle eyes. She was ready to crack and he didn't even know it. All she wanted was for him to call his client and make the deal. That was all he had to do to save her, but she wasn't going to beg, and she couldn't tell him the truth or Grace's life would be in great danger. So she responded with a lie.

"With Peter's campaign, my schedule has become full. It's getting to be too complicated to follow him around the country and run a law firm at the same time. When he gets elected, and I think he will, we'll be moving to D.C. anyway." The sadness in her eyes didn't go unnoticed, and he was surprised at her response. He couldn't believe she was actually going to give up the law again for her husband whom he suspected had been the one to talk her into this.

"Is this your decision or Peter's?"

Alicia shook her head and became defensive again. She didn't have time to play this game anymore. "Mine Will. It was my decision, all of this comes down to me," she said, pointing her finger to herself. She could have left it there, but she was beyond caring at this point. "This case was my decision, and now I'm going to lose it because of some ridiculous notion that I had eighteen months ago to start my own firm, and be forced to take on this case."

He looked at her processing what she was saying. She turned to fully face him and walked within a few feet of him as he spoke.

"What do you mean forced too take it? No one forces a name partner to take on any case. How do you and Cary run that firm anyway? Is he the final word on cases?"

She was surprised at the gentleness in his tone, but she continued raising hers. "No, I decide which cases I take. Just for the record Will, I didn't leave because I wanted to poach your clients, or stab you and Diane in the back." If this was her last chance to talk with him she had to get this out.

"What does you leaving my firm have to do with this case, or you quitting the law again?"

"I just want to set the record straight. You're the one who has spent the past eighteen months trying to ruin my firm because you've never been interested in the real reason I left. Not me. I stopped trying to fight you a long time ago, partially due the fact that I finally realized you were just out for revenge. You threw everything we ever had out the door without ever trying to talk to me about it. You've always just assumed since the day you fired me that everything we had, or everything that I had done over the previous five years was just an act. That I didn't mean any of it. I never thought in a million years you'd crush me like you did that day, and hold your bitterness towards me for so long. Well guess what? After tomorrow it won't be my firm anymore, and you can move on with your life." He realized there was some truth in her words and he almost let her go but as she got to the door he spoke up again.

"Then tell me the real reason." he said, moving over to her. "Let's have this discussion now." He reached out and grabbed her arm to prevent her from leaving. She immediately tensed up at his touch and inhaled deeply. She looked terrified as she pulled away from his grasp and backed up. He couldn't fully understand her reaction.

It took a moment for her to ease the anxiety that had just swept over her. Finally she looked up at him again, and in a calmer tone said, "It doesn't matter anymore. I guess I had a different view of things back then than you did." She turned once again to leave, but she stopped when he spoke.

"You're wrong. I was bitter for awhile, but I'm not anymore. And since we're setting the record straight I have tried to talk to you. You're the one who has avoided me the past six months. I did call. After your resignation I called. Your resignation had Peter's hand written all over it." He watched as she looked down at the floor then turned her gaze back to his. The slight sense of guilt returning to her.

"I know" She inhaled swallowing hard the lump that was now set in her throat. She was scared to death and her defenses were wearing down. Were they really to a point where they were starting to forgive each other? She didn't know, and likely in less than a day it wouldn't matter anyway. Here he was proposing a possible talk that may lead to some sort of reconciliation. Something she'd realized in that moment she wanted. The silence at that quiet late hour in his office was soothing for her. She realized that his office was the only place she'd felt safe in weeks, but she had things to do. She'd have to leave at any moment. Finally he spoke up breaking the silence.

"Alicia, where did the bruises come from?" he said, moving cautiously towards her again.

The question caught her off guard bringing her thoughts back to reality. She wanted so badly to tell him exactly what was going on, so he could put an end to it, but she couldn't. She pulled up her sleeves revealing her wrists. A purple circle covered both. "These bruises? They're from the handcuffs being placed to tightly the other day when I was held in contempt." All true, and yet another mystery in his mind as to why she'd lost control and gotten herself held in contempt in the first place. That was a line he never thought he'd see Alicia Florrick cross. He moved to stand just a foot in front of her.

"Not those bruises. The one further up on your arm and the one on your chest." He didn't dare touch her after her previous reaction, so he placed his hand on his upper chest to indicate where he meant. She couldn't figure out how he'd even seen them. She'd been meticulous in choosing her clothing the past few days so they wouldn't be seen.

She looked down backing up from him again towards the door. "I have to go," she said, taking one last glance at him. "Goodbye Will." She turned and hurried out the door before he could say anymore. He watched as she rushed down the hall towards the elevators. He was left standing there with confusing, unfinished conversations running through his mind, and a thought as to whom he assumed had been the cause of her bruising. He'd have a word with that person after court the next day. No matter what his relationship with Alicia looked like, there was no excuse for her to be treated that way. Then he contemplated the way she had just looked at him and spoken her goodbye. It haunted him. It was if she was saying goodbye forever.

 **A/N; A big thanks to Missthirdward and Guategal for encouraging me to write this a few months back! Reviews are always welcomed!**


	2. From Good to Bad

**A/N; Wow, I have to admit I've been overwhelmed by the positive response I've had to this. Thank you all for the follows, and helpful reviews. I apologize for the long delay in getting this chapter out. Some things in life cannot be avoided! But good news! The next chapter is in beta right now so should come out soon.**

As Alicia approached her car in the Lockhart Gardner parking garage, she heard footsteps coming up behind her. She instinctively tensed up and tightened her grip on her bag turning around to see who it was, vainly hoping it was Will.

"So did he take the offer?" Came the all too familiar voice of John Pierson from the shadows of the dimly lit garage.

Alicia inhaled just as she'd done for nearly two weeks now every time he'd managed to creep up on her. He always seemed to always know where she was, and turned up when she least expected.

"Why do you assume I was here to offer a settlement?" she said, steadying herself up against her car, bracing herself for what might come next.

"Just a hunch! You're losing. Why else would you have driven here after work instead of going home in a storm like this?" The rain had grown heavier and the thunder louder in the time she'd been in Will's office. "Unless you and your former lover were making up. In which case I'm willing take back the question."

"We weren't," she said, looking right at him.

"Why not? I've seen the way he looks at you, the way he watches you." He had moved out from the shadows and began walking towards her again.

"Stop it!" she said cutting him off. "He doesn't "look" at me like that anymore."

He chuckled. "Yes, yes he does, you just don't notice it. Your husband should be jealous! In fact I'm a bit jealous!"

She hated how calm and collected he always seemed. Of course that was how he'd drawn her in in the first place. It wasn't hard to fall for someone with his good looks and seemingly caring demeanor. If he had been arrogant or angry all of the time, his behavior with her would be easier to understand. Even when his tone had risen speaking to her over the past few weeks, it was brief. All but one of her interactions with him had brief since she had been at his cabin two and a half weeks ago. And that had been his first mistake, inviting her to his cabin an hour outside of Chicago.

* * *

 _"Cary, John wants to go over the paperwork for the merger with me later today. I'm going out to his cabin for lunch to take care of it. It's a pretty long drive so I'm not planning on coming back in today," Alicia said, standing in the doorway to Cary's office. "Can you take the depositions with Will and Diane this afternoon?"_

 _Cary looked up from his desk. "Yes, but his cabin? I didn't know he had a cabin."_

 _She smiled. "I doubt it's really a cabin. It's probably a mansion in the woods on five acres backing Lake Michigan! Hidden so well no one would ever know it was there!"_

 _They both laughed. "That guy has more money than anyone I've ever met," Cary said._

 _"I know!" Alicia said raising a brow. "Lucky for us we're his attorneys!"_

 _"You should get him to donate to Peter's campaign! The whole world seems to love him! I bet it would boost Peter's numbers, not that he needs it!"_

 _Alicia sighed, and looked away. "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." She turned to leave._

 _"Hey, is everything okay? I mean with you and Peter?" Cary said. He noticed the frown that had appeared in her expression at the mention of Peter._

 _"Sure, everything is great!" It was a fake smile and they both knew it. But he let it go._

" _Okay, see you tomorrow," he said, as she walked down the hall to leave.  
_

 _A little over an hour later she drove down the long path to Pierson's secluded getaway. She had been right. The obviously, but fairly knew rustic looking house was enormous, well hidden, and probably sat on more like fifteen acres rather than the five she guessed. She was greeted by a gentleman who took her keys and led her into the house. It was immaculately decorated she noticed, as she was led through the living room and out onto the back patio that set the scene for a gorgeous view of the lake._

 _She was told to make herself comfortable at the table that was set with expensive china and crystal stemware. Then asked what she would like to drink and told that John would be with her shortly. She took the opportunity to take in more of her surroundings. It was beautiful. All the trees were in full bloom. The colors of late spring and early summer were abundant. In the distance she noticed a small but very nice speed boat set off a short boardwalk at the water's edge. She scanned the terrain across the small cove set in front of her. Presumably it all belonged to Pierson. Then she noticed something that seemed out of place. Across the cove and tucked into the wooded area she noticed a very run down looking building. It looked like a woodshed. She was surprised that on such a property where such care had clearly been taken to the landscaping, that there would sit such a run down building. She didn't take the time to ponder it much as Pierson appeared through the patio doors._

 _She stood to greet him. "Alicia!" he said, embracing her giving her quick peck on the cheek. This had become their common greeting over the past months. It was as if they were old friends. She didn't mind the attention and had to admit that his dark brown hair, six foot four height, and very toned muscles had taken her breath away more than once._

 _"Did you have any trouble finding it?" he said, as they sat down at the table._

 _"No, although I would have missed the turn off if you hadn't told me to watch for it!"_

 _"Well, not many people even know this place is out here! Anyone who's ever worked out here is sworn to secrecy. This place isn't even listed under my own name. I have to have some place where my adoring public can't find me!" he said smiling at her. The comment could have been taken as arrogance, but she knew he disliked being in the public eye as much as she did. This was something they had commiserated on together over the past months._

 _She laughed and returned the smile. "I need a place like this! Of course I'd probably never leave if I did. I'd love to get away from the press!" She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her wine._

" _Well, you're welcome here any time you want to get away!"_

 _The lunch was filled with pleasant conversation. He offered to take her out on the lake in his boat, which she gladly agreed to. Two hours later when they returned to the house she told him they better get their work done. She had a long drive back to the city. He walked her through the large kitchen and living room with floor to ceiling windows and down the hall to his office._

 _"Does every room in this house have such a great view?" she asked, sitting across from him at his dark cherry wood desk. His decorating style was much the same as hers, and she had immediately felt at ease when entering the home._

 _He smiled over to her grabbing a pen. "Yes! But the view from the master bedroom is the best. I'll have to show it to you later!" This subtle flirting from him had gone on since day one. At times it almost seemed like he was testing her ability to resist his good looks and charm, which she had admittedly done a good job off. But if anyone had asked she would have had to honestly answer that if she had been single she probably would have given into his flirtations months ago._

 _He signed all the documents she needed him to, and they discussed an upcoming deal he was thinking of doing. Forty-five minutes later he offered her another glass of wine before she left. She accepted, and he gave her a tour of more of the house. She noticed he had photos of himself and an attractive woman scattered throughout the house. She stopped in front of the fireplace where one of the photos sat on the mantel and looked at it for a moment._

 _"Is this your girlfriend?" she asked, turning to face him. He stood near the window just to the left of her._

 _"No, that was my wife?"_

 _She hesitated in pressing him further, but did so anyway. "Your wife? I didn't realize you had been married."_

 _He didn't turn to look at her and took another sip of his wine before continuing. "It was ten years ago before I became the John Pierson everyone knows today."_

 _Alicia moved closer to him. "What happened? Did you divorce?"_

 _He looked down at his feet then smiled back up at her. "You ask a lot of questions Alicia."_

 _"I'm a lawyer. It's my job to ask a lot of questions! But if you don't want to talk about it we don't have to." She turned, and once again took in the view of the lake._

 _"Well, since you asked," he continued. "We had been married for eight years. Happily married, or so I thought." He sighed and placed his wine glass on the end table. "One morning I came home from a business trip and she had overdosed on pain pills."_

 _"I'm so sorry," Alicia said, holding her glass to her lips again._

 _He shook his head and turned to look at her. "Don't be. It was a long time ago, and it was an accident. Rachel got really horrible migraine headaches periodically. I had talked to her the night before it happened. She had been fighting one for two days. She just took too many pills before she went to bed that night. She was my whole life, that's why I keep the photos of her around. It's a reminder of what we had. They keep me going."_

 _Silence filled the room for a few moments. His demeanor had suddenly changed, and he became very serious._

 _"Alicia, I need you to settle this suit against Mike."_

 _"I'm doing the best I can. But Maddie seems set on getting ten million and dragging your partners name through the mud."_

 _"He didn't do it. This whole case is ridiculous. Word has gotten out about the suit and our stock prices have dropped. We can't afford for this to go to trial."_

 _"Well, we can make an offer one more time and see if she'll take it, but you'll have to up the offer."_

 _He sighed and turned his gaze back to the outdoors. "Listen Alicia, there's something I think you need to know."_

 _"Okay, is there something you can offer that will help with the suit?"_

 _"Mike is my half brother."_

 _She couldn't believe what he'd just said. The shock must have been evident. "He doesn't know, and I intend for that secret to be kept. But I'm telling you because I want you to understand how important it is that this case go away. You have a family, children, and wouldn't you agree that you would do anything to protect them?"_

 _"Yes, but I still don't understand how that is relevant."_

 _"Mike and I share the same father. I grew up with wealth, with privilege. Both of my parent's were successful. But their careers eventually got in the way of their marriage. My father went looking for affection because he wasn't getting any from my mother. Mike's mother was a waitress at the country club my family belonged too. She was young, and very pretty. When she told my father she was pregnant he didn't want to have anything to do with her, or the child she carried. He gave her a very large sum of money to keep himself out of the picture. A year after Mike was born she married a nice man. They lived a happy, but poor life. I found out years later, that despite Mike's meager means, he grew up and got a scholarship to Harvard._

 _I grew up with money, but not much else as far as love and attention. Before my father passed away he told me about Mike. He'd kept track of him over the years despite what he'd told Mike's mother. When I met Mike eight years ago I was impressed, and was looking for a partner. I felt a little guilty about all that my father hadn't provided for him, and thought that partnering with him would help make some of that up to him."_

 _"But he doesn't know?" Alicia couldn't believe this story. She'd been with both men numerous times and they didn't look anything like each other. At least she thought at the moment. Although she realized she hadn't ever seen them together._

 _"No, he doesn't. Mike is a good man. He loves his wife, and child, and would never do anything to hurt them. He left that restaurant that night by himself. Maddie was still in the restaurant when he left. I know because I was still there."_

 _"Did you tell the police that?"_

 _"Yes, and that's part of the reason the State's Attorney's office dropped the case. But Maddie was convinced it was Mike who'd grabbed her outside the restaurant and raped her. That's why she brought this suit against him. So you understand why this needs to go away. Mike doesn't deserve the reputation and I don't want our stock to drop anymore."_

 _"Yes, but I can't guarantee I can make it go away."_

 _He chuckled, "Well if you don't, I may have to get rid of you."_

 _"You'll fire me if I don't win this case? Even after everything we've done for your business?"_

 _A sly smile crossed his lips, a smile that made her uneasy. "Something like that. Just get your good friend Will to convince his client that our offer is a good deal."_

 _Alicia chuckled. "He's not my good friend anymore." She rolled her eyes, and picked up her wine glass drinking the last bit that was left. "And in case you hadn't noticed, Will doesn't back down very easily."_

 _"Oh come on Alicia, some friendships never die no matter the circumstances. Get Mr. Gardner to settle. It will be better for you if you do."_

 _"You're serious aren't you?" She was a little appalled at the thought that he would fire her for something she had little control over. Of course fire her was not what he meant, but she didn't know that until three days later when the case was moved to a trial._

 _He'd stormed into her office late in the evening the night before the trial began. He backed her up into a corner. It was then that he told her that her life was in danger if she didn't win the case. She pushed past him and went to call security._

" _Are you drunk?" she said, reaching for the phone. "John you need to calm down, and think about what your saying."_

" _No, and I wouldn't do that if I were you Alicia." He moved quickly over to her and grabbed her hand that held the receiver to the phone on her desk._

" _Get out of my office." she said, yanking her hand away from him. He grabbed her as she tried to move around her desk to get away, and pressed her hard against the bookshelf that set behind her._

 _He pulled out his phone. "Do you see this?" he said, showing her the screen to his phone. Her heart sank. "This is your daughter two hours ago walking into your apartment building. Don't worry she's safe inside your apartment right now, and has no idea that your building is being watched."_

 _Alicia tried to get out of his grasp but she couldn't. "You leave my daughter out of this."_

" _I'm afraid I can't. If you call the police, or tell anyone about the conversation we've had tonight, your daughter will disappear, and you will never see her again." He moved his face just inches from hers. "Do you understand?"_

 _Alicia couldn't believe this was happening. What had happened to the kind gentle man she'd spent hours with just days before? "Yes, I understand," she said, looking directly at him._

 _He held her arm and kept his body pressed against her for a few more moments before letting go and backing up. "Good. Win this case, and we can pretend none of this happened." He turned and left her office leaving her shaking, scared, and very angry.  
_

* * *

Pierson kept his distance leaning against the car in the parking garage across from where Alicia stood. She recognized the car as Will's as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Well you are free to think what ever you want." Alicia said. "But I don't think Peter has anything to be jealous of."

"Maybe not, but its irrelevant now. I want to know what you're going to do tomorrow to get the judge to rule in your favor."

She looked him right in the eyes. He may have her scared out of her mind, but she wasn't going to back down to him. She always looked him in the eyes when she spoke to him. She wasn't going to give him the pleasure of thinking she was weak. "There isn't anything else I can do. I'm going to hope the judge takes a good look at the evidence and rules in our favor tomorrow. Mike is innocent. I know that, you know that."

He stepped over to her and she pressed her hands against the car for support if she needed it. He reached and ran his hand along her mid section as his eyes roamed up and down her body. She felt sick when he looked at her like that. Then he placed his hand under her chin. She held her gaze on him even though she wanted to scream in the hopes that someone would come to her rescue. But she knew Pierson had someone watching Grace, or at least had someone on call if things were to go wrong. So she didn't make a sound.

"You should have used those beautiful eyes and sexy curves to convince Mr. Gardner to drop this case weeks ago. Imagine how he's going to feel when he finds out he was the cause of your demise."

She could feel her inner self beginning to tremble. "It's not his fault. And anyway he'll never know the real reason because you're just going to make me disappear without a trace, just like you did with the other four women. Tell me something, the night you gave your wife too many pills and she died, was that the first time you'd tried to kill her? I mean it must have been difficult living with someone who had cheated on you. Someone you loved so deeply."

He began to grow angry. "You don't know what you're talking about." He moved his hands to her arms pressing her body against the car.

"I know who you are. I know what you've done. No matter the verdict tomorrow, sometime in the next few days I'll disappear just like the other women. You never had any intention of letting me live. Even if the verdict comes in in our favor tomorrow, you know what I know, and you know you can't let me live with that knowledge. It's to much work to keep track of Grace and I for the rest of your life."

"Stop it Alicia, you don't know what I'm thinking, or what I have in mind for you." He raised his fist, and she braced herself for the blow. "Don't force me to hit you today to keep your tongue under control."

He held his stance for a moment. He had to give her credit, she'd never once cowered in front of him. She had more will, more resistance than the other women had had. Moments later he lowered his hand and backed up. "I'm a man of my word Alicia. I told you exactly what my expectations were and the consequences. You're right, you do know too much, and if the verdict comes in in our favor, I'll be the one be the one to vanish. I'm tired Alicia. Making millions a year, keeping up a celebrity image, I think I'm ready to retire." He turned and began walking towards the exit. "And like you said, keeping track of you is hard work."

Once he was out of her sight she exhaled and got into her car. Her first priority was to make sure that no matter what, Grace would be safe. Her second priority would be to leave enough clues that if Pierson snagged her at some point, someone might be able to find her before it was to late. What Pierson didn't know was that she had figured out what he'd done with the four other women. If she ended up dead, she wanted someone to be able to find her body so that Zach and Grace could put some closure on her death, and not be left wondering what had happened to her for the rest of their lives.


	3. Plans of Action

The loud crashes of thunder sounded from outside the window in Grace's room when her eyes fluttered open. She gazed around the darkness then her eyes landed on the clock. It read 2:00am. Thinking it was the storm that had woken her, she rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. But then another noise caused her eyes to open once again. She sat up trying to detect the source of the sound. Realizing it was coming from the front room, and that it was her mother she climbed out of bed, and quietly tiptoed out of her room stopping just before she rounded the corner to the living room.

Her assumptions had been correct. The source of the noise had been Alicia crying. She knew her mother had tried to hide her unusual behavior over the past few weeks, but Grace had caught onto Alicia's excuses and knew something was wrong. The previous weekend Alicia had cleared her schedule and told Grace they were having a girl's weekend, and that they could do what ever she wanted. It had been fun for both of them, but Grace sensed there was more to the time they were spending together than Alicia was letting on. In the following days while Grace was at school Alicia would send text messages while she was at lunch, and called as soon as school got out in the afternoon. She called several times over the next few days to find out where Grace was and who she was with. Now peering around the corner and seeing her mother quietly crying, writing only who knew what on a pad of paper in the dim light of the living room, really made her wonder what was going on.

She could have put the constant concern from her mother as to her whereabouts aside, but it was Alicia's seeming refusal to sleep in her own room that had really thrown her off. Alicia had slept on the couch all of the previous five nights except for four nights ago when she had spent the night in jail after being held in contempt. Every morning Alicia brushed it off as having to much work to do, and falling asleep on the couch. Two nights in a row Grace could believe, three was pushing it, five wasn't believable. Every morning was the same. Grace would come out for breakfast, Alicia would be cleaning up her paperwork, the blanket and pillow she had slept with, and throw away the empty bottle of wine that presumably she had downed during the night.

Now she stood quietly and watched as Alicia finished up what ever she had been writing then neatly sealed it in an envelope. She couldn't see her mother's face, but could tell she was still crying from the intermittent sniffles. Normally Grace would have interrupted, but something held her back. She continued to watch as Alicia turned out the lamp, and purposefully lay down on the couch pulling the blanket over her to go to sleep. At that point Grace went back to bed.

When she returned to the living room dressed and ready for her day hours later she found Alicia still asleep. It was almost eight and unusual for Alicia to still be sleeping. She moved over to the couch to wake her, but stopped noticing the paperwork Alicia had spread out on the coffee table. She grew concerned noticing Alicia's will, and life insurance policy among the pile of papers.

"Mom, mom," Grace said, shaking Alicia to wake her up.

Alicia's eyes slowly opened and she began to stretch, but noticing the concern and few tears that had escaped Grace's eyes she immediately sat up in alarm. "Grace, what's wrong?" she said, as her eyes began to scan the room for any immediate threat.

Alicia's sudden worry had become common over the past few days. She seemed nervous and jumpy every time Grace had come up behind her without her knowledge. "Mom, calm down. I was just coming to wake you up."

Alicia focused on the teen. "Well then why the tears Grace?"

"Mom, are you dying?" Grace said, sitting down next to her.

"Am I? No, honey why would you think I'm dying?" She reached her arm and placed it around Grace pulling her in close, then took some deep breaths to allow for her adrenaline level to get back to normal.

"Because, you've hardly slept this week, you've been checking up on me way more than usual, and..." Grace turned her attention to the mess of paper that sat on the coffee table. You were crying last night, and you have your will and life insurance policy out."

Alicia choked back her own tears and pulled Grace closer. She did her best to put a smile on her lips. She'd meant to wake before her daughter and get all that lay on the coffee table cleaned up before Grace saw any of it.

"You saw me crying last night?"

Grace looked away, "Yes".

Alicia sighed. "I'm not dying. The tears were due to… stress. You know how it is when you have a lot going on, and everything seems... overwhelming?"

"Yeah, I guess. So your feeling overwhelmed?"

"Well, that was how I was feeling last night. I'm just very tired. This case I'm working on has been very stressful." Grace shook her head in acknowledgement.

"As for the papers, you and Zach are much older now than when your Dad and I first had our will drawn up. I was just making a few changes."

"What about the life insurance policy?" Grace wasn't completely convinced.

"As you get older your needs for life insurance change, and I've been looking at all of my options. That's all okay. You don't need to worry!" Alicia pulled her in for a hug and placed a kiss on her forehead. She hated all the lying to nearly everyone she knew that she had had to do over the past few weeks. But lying to her own children was the most difficult of all. Even Zach had picked up on her solemn mood when she had called him two nights ago, and she had had to lie to him.

Grace seemed more convinced and decided to move on. "Okay. It's after eight. Don't you have court this morning?"

Alicia quickly looked at her wrist watch, and the adrenaline began to flow again. "Yes, I better hurry I'll be late." She stood clearing all of her things from the coffee table and headed to the bedroom to get showered and dressed. Twenty-five minutes later before she exited her room, she carefully filled a large manila envelope, sealed it, and wrote Peter's name on it.

"Mom, they're here." Grace called. Peter had been out of town for two and a half weeks. He'd planned on staying out of town for another few days, but after Alicia had called from county holding four nights ago, arrangements had been made for Peter to come home sooner.

 _"Eli, why are you answering Peter's phone?" Alicia said, irritated that Peter hadn't been the one on the other end of the line._

" _Because, Peter's just finishing up a speech. Is it true? Are you really in jail?" Alicia could see the panicked look that she knew Eli had on his face at that very moment._

" _County holding Eli, and before you ask, yes I am really going to be held here overnight," she said with a huge sigh. "Now listen to me. I don't have time to explain my reasons for being here, and I don't care how this looks for the "campaign". If you want Peter and I to continue to act like we are happily married you get him home. Do you understand what I'm saying Eli?"_

"Alicia, this is a really poor way of showing your disapproval for the campaign, getting held in contempt."

 _"Eli, this isn't about the campaign, and I wish you and Peter would stop thinking that everything I do is because I'm against the campaign. I think Peter should run. Remember I was with him when made his announcement. I've been at fundraisers and benefits when you two needed me to be. He would make a great president. I just don't want to be involved anymore than I have to until it becomes necessary, if it becomes necessary. I'm remaining ambivalent on this. Peter just declared his candidacy six weeks ago. He doesn't need me to be with him at every campaign trail stop. And anyway, like I said, this isn't about what Peter can do for this country. It's about what Peter needs to do for his family, for his wife right now. I needed Peter here with me, with Grace, over the past few weeks. I told him not to go, and that if he was going he needed to cut the trip short. But neither of you listened to me."_

 _"Alicia, its Iowa!" Iowa!"_

 _"He didn't need to spend three weeks in Iowa," she shot back. "One would have been sufficient for now."_

 _"We haven't just been in Iowa."_

 _Alicia sighed into the phone. Sometimes talking to Eli about priorities during a campaign was very taxing._

 _"Is this about Grace?" Eli went on. "Has something happened?"_

 _Alicia was beyond frustrated. "Yes Eli, this is about Grace. Now find some way to get Peter home in the next few days, or I'll divorce him." The statement momentarily rendered Eli speechless._

 _"Grace and I are fine for now, but if Peter's not home within three or four days I'll never forgive him for leaving two weeks ago."_

 _"Alicia, are you serious? You'll divorce him? What is going on?"_

 _"I am dead serious Eli. Now I have to go." She slammed the receiver down, and was escorted back to holding._

With a threat like that, Eli had made arrangements to get the governor back to his state, more importantly back to his wife. When Peter had called the previous night to let Alicia know he was back in town, and asked if they could meet to talk, she informed him that she thought Grace should spend the day with him. School was out for a graduation prep day, and Alicia thought it might be a great chance for Grace to become more familiar with what her duties as an intern for Peter over the summer would look like. She agreed that she would meet with him in the evening the following day, and that the three of them could have dinner together.

"Mom, I'm leaving." Grace called again from the entryway.

"Grace wait," Alicia hollered, as she opened the door to her bedroom.

"Yeah, what is it?" Grace said, as Alicia approached looking at the two men in suits that waited at her doorway.

"Gentlemen if you don't mind I'd like to see your badges before you take Grace with you." With Peter being Governor, and now having declared as a presidential candidate, his usual security had increased and there were a few new faces she wasn't familiar with yet. And with the threat on Grace's life, she wanted to make sure the men taking her daughter to Peter could be trusted.

After thoroughly inspecting their IDs, she took a deep breath not knowing what the day might hold. She put her hand to Grace's cheek. "I love you. You know that right?"

Grace chuckled a bit. "Yeah mom, I know, and I love you too!"

Alicia pulled her in and gave her an extra tight hug. Holding her a little longer than she normally would have. "Mom, you can let go now." Grace said. "I'll see you tonight."

Alicia bit her lip as she pulled back. "I need you to give this to your Dad for me okay?" She handed the manila envelope to Grace who took it skeptically.

"Does this have anything to do with what we talked about earlier?"

"No honey it's not. Give it to your dad, and tell him it's about the campaign."

"Okay, sure."

"One more thing," Alicia said, handing Grace a slip of paper.

"I have a meeting with a client this afternoon. It's about an hour out of the city. There's really bad cell coverage there. If you need to get a hold of me, or if your Dad needs to... _find me_ later before we meet for dinner, tell him that's the address to the place where I'll be."

Grace narrowed her eyes. "What good is an address going to do if he needs to talk to you?"

Alicia smiled. "Well it would only be if there were an emergency, and he couldn't get me on my phone. I said the cell coverage was sketchy, not non-existent! It's just in case."

Grace shook her head. "Mom, when this trial is over can we get back to the way things used to be before you became paranoid about my every move!"

Alicia chuckled. "I'm not being paranoid. I just want for you to be able to find me if you need too." She kissed Grace's forehead. "Now you better get going. This storm seems content to stay put over the city. Traffic is probably a nightmare."

She watched her daughter until the elevator doors closed. After she shut the door to the apartment she leant against it and sank to the floor. Her heart was torn to pieces not knowing if or when she would see Grace again. She allowed the tears to fall for a few moments before pulling herself back off the floor. She touched up her makeup and left the apartment.

She was angry now more than anything, and started to move into survival mode. If the verdict went against her, and it likely would, she had to do everything she could to survive. She realized the only one that could save her now was herself. She'd come up with a plan, but how could one really plan when you didn't know what to plan for. It was the part of how and when John would try to grab her that she hadn't figured out. She thought she had figured out what his plan would be once he had her, she hoped anyway, or the few risky safety measures she'd put into place would be useless.

However as she got closer to the courthouse her nerves were beginning to take over. She wasn't feeling as confident in her plans as she had been a half hour earlier. Who was she kidding? She couldn't do this on her own. Part of her wanted to drive away from the courthouse and hide, but she couldn't. Grace would be safe with Peter for the day, but what about tomorrow? She had to face this reality. She sighed and grabbed her bag when her phone buzzed. It was Cary sending her a text.

 _Where are you?_

 _Here, I'm just coming in from parking._

 _Okay, the judge is not really happy your not here._

 _Sorry, just tell him to start. I'll be up in just a sec._

Will was already sitting in the courtroom when Diane and their client entered. Cary and his client followed right behind. He noticed Alicia wasn't with them. He was tired and hadn't slept well. He blamed it on the storm, but ever since his conversation with Alicia he'd felt uneasy. He'd spent the morning going over the events of the trial trying to figure out where Alicia had been coming from on some of her points. Some of which had been stated directly at him, even when she was in the middle of questioning someone.

Fifteen minutes later the judge had grown irritated because Alicia hadn't shown up. Will noticed Cary on his cell phone presumably texting Alicia.

"Mr. Agos, where is Mrs. Florrick?" the judge asked.

"In the building your honor, she'll be here shortly."

They waited five more minutes, and still no sign of her. "Well since Mrs. Florrick seems content on making a mockery of this court, I'm going to go ahead with my ruling."

"Yes, your honor," Cary said. Everyone stood. Diane had to tap Will on the shoulder to bring him out of his thoughts and pay attention to what was going on. He quickly stood taking his place next to Diane.

"After looking at the evidence, I'm ruling in favor of the plaintiff. Mr. Johnson is to pay Ms. Norton five million dollars in compensatory damages, and offer a public apology."

Cary and Mike both sighed, as cheers rang out from the other side of the courtroom. Cary shook his head. "I'm really sorry Mike," he said looking at the defeated man that stood next to him.

"I know. You and Alicia did your best. Sometimes you just can't win. I better go, and call John. We're going to have to do some damage control with the company." He turned and left the courtroom.

Will and Diane approached Cary as he stood and began gathering the few files he had with him.

"Tough loss," Diane said.

"Yeah, especially since he's innocent." Cary turned back to gathering his files.

"Cary, where's Alicia?" Will asked. His sense of uneasiness had grown quite a bit in the time since he'd entered the courtroom.

"I have no idea. She sent me a message twenty-five minutes ago and said she was here. But obviously she's not here." He sighed the frustration was evident in his features. "I don't know where she's been for at least two weeks now." He said under his breath not really to anyone.

"Will said this was Alicia's last day at the firm. Are you going to go with Agos and Associates, or are you planning on someone taking Alicia's spot?"

Cary stopped gathering the files and looked up at the two other lawyers. "What?" Diane looked at Will for confirmation but he was distracted again for the tenth time that day Diane noted to herself.

"Will, tell Cary what Alicia told you."

"Last night when Alicia came to offer me a settlement she said this was her last case, her last day at work. That the campaign was making it to difficult for her to keep working."

"Is this some kind of joke?" Cary said defensively. "Some way to rub the loss in my face? Because it's not funny."

Diane looked at Will again and then spoke. "No Cary, we're serious. We wanted to know what your plans were."

Cary continued to look at them completely confused, and Will began to play a few brief conversations he'd recently had with Alicia over in his mind.

"Well, I don't know what you're talking about. Alicia hasn't said a word to me, and her schedule is completely filled up for the next two months. Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do back at the office." Will and Diane moved out of his way as he walked towards the exit.

"Why would Alicia make up such a story?" Diane asked Will.

"She wouldn't. Something's going on." Will turned and grabbed his things off of the table.

"Do you think they're planning on stealing another one of our big clients, and the story is a decoy to throw us off?" Diane offered.

"No, something worse is going on, and I'm going to kill Peter when I get my hands on him. He didn't even have the decency to let his wife be here for her last verdict. I can't believe I've been so blind."

"Peter? Will, what does this have to do with Peter?"

"Alicia's been asking for help, and I didn't catch on. None of us caught on. Peter's been hurting her, abusing her."

"What?" Diane said completely shocked.

"I saw the bruises with my own eyes last night Diane. She tried to hide them, but I saw them."

"Wait, Alicia's been abused?"

"Yes," he said. "She probably told Peter she wasn't going to quit working to follow him around on the campaign trail, and he finally lost control." Then realizing where they still were, he got quiet. "I've been so distracted with winning this case I didn't see it. Did you ever in a million years think that Alicia would get herself held in contempt?"

"No"

"And do you remember what she said right before they cuffed her?"

"No"

"That's because she wasn't looking right at you when she said it. The judge gave her one last chance to calm down, and apologize to him and the witness. She said, _"No, this is a clear matter of innocence. My client didn't do anything to deserve this suit against him. If you hold me in contempt I'll gladly be put in holding for standing up for my client."_ Then she turned and looked right at me and said, _"We need more people standing up for the innocent in this world. If opposing council is so blind to the facts of this case, I'll willingly go sleep in a safe place knowing I've done everything I can for my client."_ Why would she say she'd sleep in a safe place? It makes no sense. It was four thirty in the afternoon, and she knew if she was held in contempt they would keep her overnight."

"I… don't know." Diane was still trying to wrap her head around the thought that Peter might be abusing Alicia.

"I think it was because it really was a safe place for her to sleep. She was trying to tell me something was wrong. The color of those bruises led me to believe they weren't new. What if she got herself held in contempt so she wouldn't have to go home that night? What if she was afraid of going home? Think about it Diane, I'm the only one that noticed the bruise on her arm yesterday during court, and I saw the look on her face when she pulled her sleeve back down to cover it. She wanted me to see it. She came to my office late last night to offer a settlement she knew I wouldn't accept, but she purposefully leant over my desk so I'd see the bruise on her chest."

"I don't know Will. Peter, abuse? There are a number of things that Peter's has done wrong over the course of his marriage, but abuse, I just don't see it."

Will chuckled, "Yeah, and no one else did either. I bet that was his plan. I wonder how long it's been going on? What I can't figure out is why me of all people, would she try to let know what was going on? Why not tell you, or Cary? It isn't like she and I have exactly been on good terms for a really long time."

"Maybe she knew that you of all people would pick up on it. I mean I hadn't noticed anything. But why would Peter turn to abuse now after so many years?"

Will was beyond angry at that point. "Because, he couldn't handle the fact that his wife might have more power in this city than he does. And maybe he wanted more control over her. She probably pushed back, and his was his way of gaining control. Maybe that's why she left with Cary all those months ago. Peter was jealous. He's tried to take me down for years because he was jealous. I'll bet that when Alicia told him I'd offered her name partnership he went ballistic, and told her she had to leave. And now that he needs her on his shoulder to win yet another election he's convinced her, by force, that she needs to quit working."

"You may be right, but I just can't see Alicia putting up with such behavior." Diane said.

"Once an abuser gets inside the head of the victim, it can be difficult to pull yourself back out of the hole." He turned and headed for the exit.

"Will, where are you going?"

"To have a friendly chat with the governor."

"We have a client meeting in thirty minutes, and you need to stop and think about things before you do something irrational. Maybe we should talk to Cary first." Diane quickly followed him out of the courtroom.

"Fine, I'll come to the meeting. We can talk to Cary, but Alicia needs someone to fight for her. If that person needs to be me, then I'm going to do it whether she wants me to or not."

"Okay, but don't let your heart get in the way of your head. You don't even know if this is true. You don't know how Alicia got those bruises. And to storm in and accuse the governor of all people, that he's abusing his wife is risky." They had stopped in the hallway. Will turned and looked at his partner. The rage in his eyes had turned to gentleness.

"Diane, some things are worth the risk. This isn't about me and Alicia."

"No?" She didn't believe that for one second. She'd been the one who had spent nearly every day of the last eighteen months with him.

"No, this is about defending a victim. Standing up for justice, Alicia and I are on completely opposite sides of the universe right now. Whatever you're thinking, open your eyes and look. There's nothing there. She doesn't want there to be anything there." he said, pointing a finger at her then turning towards the exit once again.

She watched as he left the building, and had to chuckle to herself. _My eyes are wide open Will. If all of this is true, I'm willing to bet that she chose to try and tell you because she knows that no matter what, you're the one person in the world that would do anything to protect her._

 **A/N; Thank you all again for the follows and reviews! They have been very helpful in molding some of the future events in the story. A few of you are wondering why Alicia hasn't told anyone what's going on. The main reason is her fear that something would happen to Grace. She hasn't told Will because the trial was brutal, and even though she still has feelings for him, she doesn't believe he has many for her anymore. You will see some of this from the trial in future chapters. Her current relationship with Peter will be better explained in the next chapter, and will hopefully help explain a few things. But please let me know if you have any questions.**


	4. 9-1-1 Emergency

**9-1-1 Emergency**

It was early afternoon when the rain finally began to let up. Grace sat comfortably on the sofa in her dad's office working on her last paper for the year. Peter had been in and out of meetings and on the phone all morning. Sitting back in the chair at his desk after finishing up a phone call, he lifted the envelope Grace had given him from Alicia when Eli entered his office.

"Peter, Will and Diane are here to see you."

"Will and Diane?"

"Yes, they say it's urgent."

He sighed rolling his eyes. "Everyone thinks it's urgent these days. Grace, let me talk to Will and Diane and then I'll walk you around so you can meet some of the people you'll be working with this summer."

"Okay, I'm going to go get something to drink. I'll be back in a few." She stood and left the room as Eli showed Will and Diane in.

"Will, Diane," Peter said standing to greet them.

"Hello Peter" Diane said.

"To what do I owe this urgent visit?"

"Peter, we wanted to talk to you about Alicia," Diane said cautiously, turning to Will for some support.

Peter smiled and stood just a few feet in front of them. "Okay, what kind of trouble is my wife bringing to your firm this time? It must be pretty serious for both of you to come. Are you here to see if I can talk her down?" he chuckled. However the smile soon faded seeing the seriousness in Diane's eyes. She was still very hesitant to even bring the subject at hand up, but knew Will was too angry to handle it in a civil fashion.

"No, this is more of a... personal matter." Eli stood in the background waiting for the hammer to drop. He knew full well something was wrong if Will was willing to enter the governor's office. Diane continued, "Alicia's seemed... she's been..."

"Come on Diane, just spit it out," Eli said, growing impatient. "What is going on with Alicia? Every time I talked with her this week she's been distracted." The other three in the room all turned and looked at him.

"Come on Eli, it hasn't been that bad," Peter said, turning his attention back to Diane.

"We think Alicia's been, is being abused," Diane finally spit out. She watched as Peter and Eli looked at one another with complete confusion trying to register what she'd just said. The confusion quickly turned to concern.

"What do you mean Alicia is being abused?" Peter said, turning down his lips. "Someone is abusing my wife?" He grew very concerned not knowing what to make of this revelation. Was it a lie? The more horrifying question running through his mind was, what if it were true?

"Okay, let's stop beating around the bush," Will said, his tone raising as he moved closer to Peter. "We don't just _think_ she is being abused, we know she is. I know she is. And the one doing the abusing is you Peter!" he said, raising a finger to him.

Eli gasped. The thought of the repercussions of such an accusation getting out in the middle of a campaign nearly gave him a heart attack.

"How could you? How dare you treat her that way?" Will continued, moving within a few feet of Peter. "How does it make you feel after you hit her, _your wife_? Empowered, does it give your ego a good boost because she gives into what ever it is you want? She stood by you for years, she's _always_ defended you. How could you treat her that way?" Peter tried to cut in, but Will went on. Eli stood horrified at the whole situation.

"You're pathetic you know that? I ought to give you a taste of your own medicine. How hard did you have to hit her for her skin to turn black and blue the way it has?"

Anger rose in Peter as Will continued. He closed the gap between them even more. "Are you insane? I would never hit Alicia! You don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you think you've heard or seen, but I would never lay a hand on my wife." The two men's faces were within inches of each other when Will chuckled spitefully.

"You're such a politician. You've perfected the art of lying!"

"I'm not lying. Is this your way of trying to win back my wife?"

"Win her back? Is that really how you view your wife, like she's some kind of trophy to be won?" Will shook his head stepping back just a few inches. "I'm not here to win her back. I'm here to stand up for her, to put an end to your mistreatment of her." His hand rose, moving closer once again. Peter's fist rose in kind. In realizing where this was headed, Eli stepped in-between the two men grabbing Peter's arm.

"Hold on, stop, both of you. Will, there are ten armed security guards, some of whom are secret service, just outside that door. You don't want to throw a punch at the governor. Peter, it would look really bad if you were to punch a man who is accusing you of abusing your wife." Both men glared at Eli, but knew full well he was right.

"Will, Eli's right." Diane added, grateful for Eli's intervening.

"Now let's both take a step back and try to calmly figure this out." Both men stepped back keeping a close eye on the other. "Will, Diane, what would lead you to believe that Alicia is being abused?"

Will explained the bruising he'd seen on Alicia, and a little of her behavior and comments in court over the past few weeks. Both Peter and Eli were surprised and sickened at the news. No one had realized that Grace had re-entered the office, and was staring at all of them in a state of shock.

Peter continued to hold his gaze on Will as he began to speak. "I didn't hurt Alicia. I would never lay a hand on Alicia, or any woman. I haven't even seen Alicia for nearly three weeks." Will was not convinced and turned to Eli for confirmation.

"It's true. Peter left Chicago a few weeks ago. We just got back into town last night, and he hasn't seen her."

"They live together. How could he have not seen her?"

Peter sighed. "No, Alicia and I don't live together... We haven't lived together since…" he paused. The ongoing conflict between these two seemed never ending. "Since she kicked me out so she could sleep with you." He knew that wasn't entirely true, but he was furious at the accusations Will had made. "We see each other, we spend time in the same household together, but I didn't see her last night."

Grace was horrified at what she'd just seen, and heard. On top of hearing her mother had been mistreated, she was now hearing that her parent's separation all those years ago was possibly because of Will. "Dad, what's going on?"

The four adults all turned, guilt running through all of them. Peter walked over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Nothing, this is just a misunderstanding. I'll just be another minute. Why don't you wait outside?"

"But Dad, I have been living with mom for the past three weeks." The adults all looked at one another, then back to Grace. Diane moved around the other men and stood by Peter.

"Grace, has someone been... hurting your mom? Has anyone been at the apartment that could have done this to her? It's okay for you to tell us. We just want to help her."

Grace became defensive of her father. "Done what? Hit her? What bruises? I live with her, and I haven't seen any bruises. No one has been over to the apartment. She's been working too much to have anyone over." She looked over to Peter, nearly brought to tears. These accusations against her father, combined with her mother's behavior over the past weeks, was a little to much.

"Grace, we need to figure out if there is something going on with your mom. Is there anything you can tell us that might help us figure this out?" Peter said in a calm tone.

"She's been acting strange for a few weeks. She's seemed edgy and I don't think she's slept much. She's seemed really distracted, but she gets that way when she's stressed over a case. And this trial she's been working on has been stressful for her." A guilty wave passed over Will at the mention of the trial. He knew full well he had been the cause of some undue stress.

Just then a gentleman dressed in a police uniform entered the office laptop in hand, followed by two of Peter's security detail and another police officer. "Dan, can I help you? We're a little busy at the moment." Eli said, approaching the man who set the laptop down on a side table.

"Governor I'm sorry for the interruption, but this can't wait."

Peter and Eli noticed the confused looks on the faces of everyone else in the room. "This is Dan Benson. He's the chief of police." Peter said. "What is it?"

"Governor, do you happen to know where your wife is?"

Everyone's focus was now on the men who had entered the room. "No, I don't keep tabs on my wife all day. Why?" Concern began to grow in everyone. Why had everything all of a sudden been focused on Alicia?

"The local 911 office received two calls about thirty minutes ago. We're trying to authenticate them. We couldn't pin point the exact location of the calls because they were made from a cell phone, and were cut off before we could get enough information. However, emergency responders have been dispatched to where we think the calls were made from."

"What does this have to do with my wife?"

"Dad, isn't mom at work? Wasn't she in court with you two this morning?" Grace questioned, turning to Diane and Will. They glanced at each other knowing Alicia hadn't been in court, and that she hadn't been at her office either. They had just come from there. Cary hadn't heard from her either.

"Actually, Alicia never showed up in court this morning."

"What do you mean she never showed up? She was all ready to go when I left this morning." Grace said, fear beginning to set in. Everyone turned their attention back to Dan.

"One of the caller's claims to be Mrs. Florrick, and the other caller identified your wife as being on his property."

No one said anything. No one knew what to say. "Just listen, to the calls," Dan said. "We need to know if this really is your wife, or if it's just some kind of hoax. Things like this happen with public figures sometimes. There are nutty people out there who like to cause a lot of trouble."

He pushed a button on the laptop. "This call came in first."

The 911 dispatcher introduced herself and then an unfamiliar voice spoke. "This is John Pierson." He sounded out of breath.

"A woman, Alicia Florrick, she has a gun." There was crashing heard in the background.

"Sir, have any shots been fired?" the operator asked.

"No, but she's pointing it at me. She's gone mad, she's destroying my home." Another crash sounded and the call was cut off.

Everyone in the room looked around not sure what to make of the call. There was no way the Alicia they all knew would try to do anything of the sort. And of all people John Pierson? They all knew that name well. Everyone in Chicago did. This call made no sense.

"This has got to be a joke!" Peter said.

"Just listen to this next call, and see if you still believe that. This one came in shortly after that one ended."

Once again a dispatcher introduced herself, and then the caller's voice was heard and recognized immediately. "This is Alicia Florrick." she sounded panicked.

"I need help. John Pierson is trying to kill me." Her voice became more strained.

"Please send someone. He grabbed me from the courthouse this morning, and brought me to his house."

"Mam, where are you?" the dispatcher asked.

Alicia was crying now. "Please hurry, he's going catch me, and then," she screamed and the call was cut off.

A deafening silence filled the room as everyone looked at each other. Anxiety and concern increased in everyone. "Sir, can you confirm that was the voice of your wife? Do you have any way of getting a hold of her? Does she have a security detail that can confirm she's safe?"

Peter sighed and looked away. "That sounds like Alicia, and no, she doesn't have any security."

"Dad, that's mom. We have to help her." Grace said as tears began to fall from her eyes. Peter put his arm around her pulling her close.

"It's going to be okay."

"How long before the emergency responders get to the location?" Will asked, trying to put on a brave face. He was worried sick trying to process the idea that Alicia's life might actually be in danger.

"They should be there now," Dan said.

"We should try to call her though right?" Grace said through her tears.

Everyone pulled out their phones. Peter tried Alicia on her cell. Diane tried Alicia's home number. Will called Cary to see if she had been in since they had left his office.

"Is there any connection between your wife and Mr. Pierson? Any reason she would have been with him?" Dan asked as he waited for his call to responders to be answered.

"Yes, Alicia's his lawyer." Eli said.

"Is there any reason she would try to break into his home, or threaten him/"

"Are you serious?" Will said, appalled. "You really think Alicia would do something like this? What about the call from her?"

"I'm not accusing her of anything. I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this."

His attention was then turned to his phone. "The authorities say the apartment is clear. There's no one there, and the doorman said Mr. Pierson hasn't been there since he left this morning. We're trying to reach him. We've put a call into his office, and one to his partner." He hung up and continued. "This may have really been a prank call. But due to the seriousness of the call, I would ask that you allow us to continue to investigate this until Mr. Pierson and your wife can be located," he said, focusing on Peter.

"Yes, until I know she's safe I'd appreciate it if you'd keep looking into this."

"Of course" Dan closed the laptop and moved towards the door.

"Wait" Grace said. Everyone turned their attention to her. "Dad, what's in the envelope mom sent for you this morning?" Peter looked at her questioningly, but moved to his desk picking up the envelope and allowing its contents fall to his desk. His nerves became unsettled again as he thumbed through the papers.

"Her will and life insurance policy isn't it?" Grace said.

"Yes, and a few sealed envelopes actually." Everyone's attention was now on Grace. "Something's wrong. Mom had all that stuff out last night. She told me she was just making changes to it all, but I didn't believe her." Her tears continued to fall. "I remembered something. About a week ago Mom was arguing with someone. It was late. I don't think she knew I could hear them. They went in her bedroom."

"Why would your mom take someone into her bedroom?" Peter asked.

"Probably so I wouldn't hear them. He was mad about a client, or a case. I couldn't tell. I didn't listen long, but I heard her say John a few times. Could it have been this same Pierson guy?"

"Can you even picture John Pierson yelling at anyone?" Diane said. "I'm not questioning what you heard Grace, I just can't believe it. That guy has got to be the kindest, most gentlemanly man I've ever met."

"Maybe, but this morning she also gave me this." Grace pulled the slip of paper Alicia had giver her out. "She said if Dad needed to find her this is where she would be." Peter took the slip of paper from her and looked at it, then handed it to Dan who quickly looked up the address.

"This home is registered to a Ken Smith, not Pierson. And it's at least an hour away."

Will pulled out his phone. He already knew what Dan's next question would be. "Cary, do you and Alicia have a client by the name of Ken Smith?" he said into the phone. "Do you have any clients that live about an hour out of town?" he asked, looking at the map on the laptop.

"No, what's going on?" Cary said. Will filled him in. Cary looked up Alicia's schedule. She had blocked out the entire afternoon for one appointment.

While Will was on the phone with Cary, Dan called the local authorities for the area where this other house was. Peter opened the envelope from Alicia that had his name on it, sinking into his chair as he read.

"Get someone out to that house now!" both Peter and Will said simultaneously.

The anxiety was evident in both men. "This is for real. Alicia is in a lot of danger." Will said, beginning to pace around the room. "We'll keep you posted Cary," he said, and then lowered his phone running a hand through his hair.

"What is going on?" Diane demanded to know.

"Alicia left some disturbing information in the notes for an appointment this afternoon. I don't know all the details. Cary is going to look into it further. The main thing is that Pierson really does want her dead. We have to get out there, now," he said looking over to Peter, Dan and Eli, as though one of them could just snap a finger and they would be where Alicia hopefully was. Peter was still reading the letter from Alicia, but looked up at everyone.

"Will's right. Alicia is in trouble. Eli can we get a chopper to take us out there? It will be the fastest way. Driving will take at least an hour."

Eli nodded, and left the office to get things ready. Peter stood and moved over to Grace who was quietly crying next to Diane on the sofa. "Grace, I know you're scared, but I need you to stay here with Diane and Eli."

"But dad," Grace was terrified. Peter placed his arms around her.

"Grace, I'm going to go find your mom, but it's better if you stay here, and there won't be much room in the chopper. Okay, I need you to trust me on this." She nodded reluctantly. "I need to talk to Will and Diane for a minute. Go find Eli, and stay with him."

Once Will, Diane, and Peter were the only ones left in the room Peter continued. "Diane, Alicia claims in that letter that Grace might be in danger. I need people I trust to stay with her. If you wouldn't mind…" he said, looking at her hopefully.

"Of course. I think Eli, a few secret servicemen, and I can handle that! Now go, and bring Alicia home safely."

"We will, but I need to talk to Will for a minute. Tell Eli we'll be out in just a few." Diane nodded and left the room. Peter walked over to the window behind his desk and stared out at the view of the city.

"Peter, about earlier…"

Peter sighed, and turned to face him. "I would have done the same thing if I had suspected you."

"I don't have to go with you. I could stay here with Diane." Will offered anxiously, still wondering why Peter wanted to talk to him alone.

Peter looked down at the floor shifting uncomfortably before looking back at Will. "If Alicia makes it out of this… If she's still alive," he became chocked up.

Will sighed. "She will. She's strong," he said, hoping his words were true.

"She might need someone to help her through this. I can only imagine from what you told me, and reading this, what she's been through the past few weeks," he said, lifting the letter from his desk.

"She'll have you," Will said, growing somewhat defensive again on Alicia's behalf.

"She may not want my help anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Alicia and I have… not had the best of relationships ever since she had to resign. She took it pretty hard, as she should have. She blamed me." Will looked right into Peter's eyes at the statement. "She wasn't entirely wrong in blaming me," he admitted.

Will wanted to interrupt and tell him exactly how he had known from the time of her resignation that he'd guessed Peter had a lot to do with it, but Peter seemed to genuinely feel bad about it so he let him continue.

"We've grown apart. I will always love Alicia, but we don't love each other the way a married couple should anymore. Alicia didn't want me to run, not because she didn't think I'd do a good job, but because she could see we were growing further and further apart. She doesn't want to be in the spotlight anymore, and I can't blame her. She's been very ambivalent towards the campaign. The reason she didn't have any security with her is because she refused it. She didn't feel it was necessary. She said if things progressed over the months, and she thought it was necessary, she would allow it, but not this early in the campaign. She can be very stubborn sometimes!" he said with a slight smile.

Will couldn't help but smile. He knew all to well of her stubbornness. "Yes, but Peter, why are you telling me all of this?"

"Do you love her?" Will didn't know how to answer. His anxiety over Alicia was causing his heart to nearly jump right out of his body. Not to mention, here was her husband, a man who had been his enemy for so many years, asking if he loved her. He didn't respond, just continued to stare at Peter.

"She needs someone who can love her, and be there for her in a way that I can't anymore, because she won't let me. I know how she felt about you at one point. If there's any of that left…" Will turned away processing what Peter was asking. "It's time you and I put our differences aside for awhile and work together for Alicia's sake. I'll be there for her, I'm willing to do whatever she needs, but I don't think I can help her alone. And I don't think I can give her what she needs, what she deserves anymore. So I'm asking, if you still have feelings for her, would you be willing to… try? Be there for her, with me, if she needs it?"

Will sighed placing his hands in his pockets. "I don't know that Alicia wants my help anymore either," he said honestly. "I haven't exactly been her friend lately. Let's just focus on finding her for now. We can deal with everything else after."

"Okay" Peter agreed and began to move towards the door.

* * *

The chopper touched down and they had to take a car to get to the secluded home. Peter, Will, Dan, and the few others that were with them, were met by police as they walked up the driveway towards the door.

"That's Alicia's car," Peter said, pointing to a vehicle near the house. Everyone stopped and looked at the vehicle for a moment.

"Well that's good. At least we know we're at the right place. What do we know? Are they here?" Dan asked the uniformed man that seemed to be in charge.

"The main floor of the house is a mess. There was clearly a struggle of some sort. There are traces of blood." The hearts of both Will and Peter felt like they would jump right out of their bodies, Dread of the worst kind began to set in.

"However, the house is clear. There's no one here. We've begun searching the property, and surrounding area, but we haven't come up with anything yet."

Peter and Will booked to one another thinking the same thing. That the last time they had each seen Alicia, may have been their last time to see her alive. An overwhelming sense of regret began to set in for both men.

 **A/N; Again thank you all so much for the wonderful response to this story! Originally a slightly different version of this chapter was going to be chapter 1 of this story, and I was going to let you all hang out to dry not knowing Alicia's fate while I backtracked for a few chapters. You all have Missthirdward to thank for saving you from such torture! You'll know her fate in the next chapter.**


	5. Finding Alicia

**A/N; Thank you all for your support and reviews! Just as a side note, this chapter does contain some violence. Not gory violence, but as you all know Pierson's not exactly the nicest person in the world. I'd really appreciate any thoughts after this chapter!  
**

One of the most difficult things in life can be waiting, being held in a state of excruciating uncertainty for an unknown amount of time. Will and Peter had been held in this exact state for the past five hours.

The area around Pierson's home was flooded with people. Journalists, emergency responders, local citizens who wanted to help in the search and even FBI agents. His property and the surrounding area had been combed a half dozen times, but there had been no sign of the first lady of Illinois, or her well known wealthy client.

No one knew if Pierson and Alicia had left the property on foot, in another vehicle, or by boat. By boat had become the most logical since they would have theoretically been found by now if they had been on foot, and Pierson had two other cars besides Alicia's on the property. It was hard to believe he would have had a third, although not impossible. The boathouse was empty, so a boat had became the most logical method for their disappearance. After trudging on foot through the muddied wooded areas around the property for a few hours, Peter had to go back to Chicago to be with Grace. Zach was at that moment on a flight home from Georgetown. Will promised he'd call as soon as they found anything. Work had been thrown aside and long forgotten. He wasn't going home until Alicia had been found, dead or alive.

Will was out on the water in a search and rescue boat. Although no one knew what they should be looking for other than two individuals in a non-descriptive boat, that at this point could have docked only who knew where. They had been scouring the water for awhile briefly checking boats they came upon, when hey came to a small cove where a single boat sat. There was no one aboard. However, there was a pair of women's heels, some shattered glass, and small traces of blood found. It was decided the surrounding area should be searched on foot.

A few minutes later Will found himself alone once again, walking through the sometimes thick wet underbrush of the area. His thoughts were running wild. He'd played every scenario of what he thought may have, could have happened to Alicia over in his mind a half dozen times. He didn't like any of the scenario's. He'd gone over all the things he would have done differently with her if he could go back in time, and gone over everything he would do in the future if she were still alive. There were a million and one issues between the two that needed to be resolved, fixed, and discussed. No matter the outcome of those discussions he now wanted so badly to happen, he knew he would live the rest of his life with unbearable regret if he never had the opportunity to try and work through the mess with her.

His eyes scanned every inch of the terrain as he walked, repeatedly calling her name when he came upon a slight drop off. He stopped and scanned the terrain at the bottom of the slope. Seeing nothing unusual he turned to continue on his original path, but then he caught a glimpse of something through the corner of his eye. He turned back around to see if he had seen it correctly. A blur of white shone among the green and brown foliage, poking out from behind a tree near the bottom of the slope. He hurriedly made his way down the slope to the tree his heart pounding. He froze for a brief moment when he beheld the scene that lay before him. He wasn't one to be brought to tears easily, but seeing this nearly did. Bending down to touch Alicia's white blouse that was now torn, and bloodied, he held his breath.

"Alicia" he said, choking up as he placed his fingers to her neck to check for a pulse.

* * *

 **Nine hours earlier**

 _I'm here, I'm coming up from parking._

Alicia finished her text to Cary and silenced her phone, placing it in her bag as she walked towards the entrance of the courthouse. Being in a hurry, she paid no attention to the people that were outside the building. Just before she reached the entrance, a hand reached out and held firmly to her elbow pulling her to a stop. She turned, annoyed, to face the individual that had halted her progress.

"Walk with me Alicia." Pierson said, tightening his grip on her arm. She tried to pull away but it was useless. He turned their course back towards the parking.

"I have to be in court, _now_ ," she said, looking him in the eye.

"I know"

She tried to pull away again but stopped feeling something being pressed into her side under her blazer, a gun. "Try that again, and you'll regret it." he said. "Now pull your car keys out and hand them to me." She did as she was told, doing her best to show no sign of fear even though deep down she falling to pieces.

Once inside her car, he tied her hands together and began to drive. "They'll suspect something is wrong when I don't show up in court. I sent Cary a message and told him I was there," she said, turning to look at him.

"I'm aware. I cloned your phone, remember? By the time anyone has time to suspect anything, we'll be out of the city."

"You're not keeping your word, you said you'd let me live if the verdict fell in our favor."

"And Mike will call with the verdict. If it is in his favor, which I highly doubt, I'll keep my word."

"Then why grab me now? Why not wait until after the verdict?"

He chuckled. "Because you're clever Alicia. I couldn't give you the chance to follow through on any attempt to save your life."

"What do you mean?"

"You knew there was a chance I'd be in court today. It would have been easy for you to turn on me after the verdict came in. You could have attempted to pull the gun from the bailiff that you knew would be in close proximity of you, and turned on me. Or you could have just bluntly stated the facts insisting someone grab me before I left the building." He was right. She had considered both of those options, as out of character for her as that would have been. "And this was never about the case Alicia, not really." he said, turning his attention back to the road.

"What do you mean it was never about the case?" she said angrily.

"Quiet, no more talking," he said, pointing the gun at her once again.

Once they arrived at the house he forcibly took her inside and sat her on the sofa in the front room. "Now what? How does this work? Do you shoot me in cold blood, and then dump my body in the lake with the others?" she said bitterly, as he poured himself a drink.

He chuckled taking a sip of the alcohol. "Would you like a drink?" he said, holding up a second glass.

"No"

He sighed taking another sip of his drink. "You are smart Alicia, I'll give you that. How did you figure it out?"

"I did my own research. The other women all worked for you, but you always had an alibi for the time of their disappearances. It must be nice having a partner who looks so much like you that if you darken his hair, shave his mustache, put a suit coat and white shirt on him instead of the signature patterned dress shirts he always wears without a tie, that he could easily pass for you. I didn't see it at first, but last night I saw a photo of the two of you together and I realized how much you do look alike."

Pierson stood a few feet away from her actually impressed she'd figured it out, and let her continue. "How much money do you pay him to impersonate you? How many events have you not attended and sent Mike in your place because you couldn't be bothered? You really do hate the public following you day and night. Mike does know he's your half brother doesn't he? That whole story you told me a few weeks ago was a lie wasn't it?"

He moved from the liquor cabinet and stood in front of her. She tensed up waiting for the blow she suspected she would get for talking to him so boldly. It wouldn't be the first time. However, he didn't touch her. "Not all of it was a lie. It was all true, all but the part about Mike not knowing," he admitted. "However, he doesn't know it was me that killed those other women, in fact all four are still listed as missing persons. Those letters they left saying they were running away, that they were through with the busy lives they led, were pretty convincing!" He chuckled under his breath with a smirk. "Mike also doesn't know it was me that raped Maddie, and that other woman your friend Will found to use as a witness."

"So get it over with," she said, continuing to stare him in the eye. He bent down sitting on the coffee table in front of her reaching for her cheek. She turned her head in an attempt to avoid his touch. He placed his hand under her chin forcing her to look at him again.

"I'm not done with you yet. I still have a few business contracts that need to be ironed out in my favor." Then he moved his hands running them up and down her arms, his eyes wandering up and down her body. "And I like you Alicia. I haven't decided when it will be time for you to dump yourself in that water." His eyes met hers again as he said those last words.

"I won't dump myself in that water," she said with a stern look.

"Yes, you will. I don't like a mess Alicia. Blood makes me queasy, and I didn't personally kill any of those women. They did it all on their own."

"Sure with you waving a gun at them," she countered.

He smiled. "No, not even with me waving a gun at them!"

She had no idea what he meant, but was glad to know he didn't mean to kill her immediately. Maybe someone would figure out she was in danger and come to her rescue before he had a chance to. She didn't have time to ponder the situation much. He grabbed her lifting her from the sofa, her resisting as much as she could. He pulled her down the hall to his office and sat her at his desk in front of his computer. He pulled out the gun and untied her hands.

Three hours later she had completed, at gun point, the rest of the work that needed to be done on his business transactions. He made them some lunch, which she refused to eat.

He placed the dirty dishes in the sink and forced her to stand from the table, gun still in hand. He moved his hand up and down her mid-section. "Let's go upstairs," he said, with a hungry smile that made her feel ill.

"No" she said, backing up from him. He pointed the gun at her head

"Go ahead and shoot me," she said. "I'm not going to sleep with you."

He moved closer to her again backing her up against a wall placing the gun right to her head. She felt like fainting, she'd never been so scared in her whole life. He hit the side of her forehead with the gun causing it to bleed. She winced in pain. "Yes, you will. And you're going to act like your enjoying it."

Adrenaline began to rush through her as he forced her towards the large staircase. She began to formulate a plan in her head as he led her into the large master suite forcing her down on the bed with some resistance. But then he made a mistake. He set the gun down and she kicked him as hard as she could with both of her legs. He was caught off guard and lost his balance falling against the wall behind him. She sprang up from the bed as fast as she could, running out of the room and down the stairs. He grabbed the gun and made a call on his phone. She heard him on the phone as she got to the bottom of the steps and paused for a split second to listen. He was calling 911 and accusing her.

She grabbed everything she could as she made her way through the house, throwing it to the floor behind her in an attempt to slow him down. But he was fast, and had the gun. She slipped around the corner into the kitchen and waited just a few seconds before he entered. She hit him from behind with a large ceramic vase and began to run towards the back door. The impact of the vase against his back caused him to lose his grip on the gun and his phone. Both went flying across the floor. The phone slid within inches of her path. She reached down and grabbed it as she exited the house and began running into the wooded landscaping.

He fired a shot in an attempt to slow her down and missed as she was making her call, but he soon caught up to her grabbing her from behind and pulling her hard to the ground. It wasn't a gentle fall. She landed on her side. Her hip and left wrist immediately stung with pain. She cried out as he pointed the gun at her again. He stayed there straddling her for a moment catching his breath. He slapped her face hard, causing her wince in pain, before pulling her up to a standing position. He forced her towards the house once again, but when they were close he turned their course towards the boat.

"I thought you got queasy around the sight of blood," she said, as he forced her to sit in a seat aboard the boat. He removed her now torn blazer, and shoes, then tied her hands together in front of her. It hurt. In fact her whole body was aching. She was pretty sure her fall to the ground just a few minutes before had either broken her wrist or badly sprained it.

"I do. You're stronger, more determined than the others were," he said, standing and turning to start the motor. "Of course the others didn't have any warning. They were "passionately" in love with me, or so they thought. They all came here with me willingly, and before they realized what was happening it was too late." He moved the throttle into drive, and the boat sped out into the open water.

They rode in silence for a few minutes before she dared speak up again. "What did you mean when you said this was never about the case?" She yelled over the loud sound of the motor. He slowed the boat some and turned to face her.

"You can figure it out. You're the one who figured out I was the one who gave my wife to many pills."

"Yes, because she cheated on you."

"Exactly, women do it all the time. Cheat on their husband's who spend their time working day in and day out to make a good life for their wives. We spend time providing for, and loving someone who made promises, vows, to us expecting that they will always remain loyal."

"But she didn't remain loyal. She broke your heart, so you killed her."

"Yes, and I've come to realize that you're all the same. Although, you've proven more loyal than the others. The others gave into my charm and flirtations after a short period of time, causing them to not just cheat once, but twice on their husbands. I only go after women who have cheated before. I could never break you. You're more loyal than that husband of yours give you credit for. But it doesn't excuse the fact that you cheated on him with your beloved Will. I'm just doing Peter a favor."

"A favor? You really are insane. Peter cheated on me first, and we were separated before Will and I got together," she said, spitefully.

"Yes, that was the problem with you, and probably what kept you from falling for me. You knew how it felt to be betrayed. The others didn't."

"So you lured them into your trap, and if they gave into you by cheating on their husbands, like your wife cheated on you, you killed them." She shook her head in disgust and disbelief.

"Yes Alicia, I've made it my mission to eliminate cheating wives."

"Then why the charade with the case?"

"When I realized you were never going to give into me, because you clearly still have feelings for Will, I needed something to hold over your head. The case was exactly what I needed." He slowed the boat down pulling into a cove.

"There aren't any _feelings_ between Will and I anymore. I don't know why you think that." Her fear momentarily switched to sadness. He was right, she did still have feelings for him, but she had had to bury them so deeply to keep from hurting all those months ago, that they had become unrecognizable.

He chuckled knowing he'd caught her thinking about the very thing she was trying to deny. "Deny it all you want, but you do. Now, there's something else I want you to know." She looked back over in his direction. "Because I wouldn't want you to die worrying about Grace, I wanted you to know that I never had any intention of hurting her. I would have never touched her. You should rest a little easier knowing that she was never in any danger. I had to use her as leverage."  
Anger filled her once again. "No, you used her to get what you wanted, me." A small sense of relief filled her. Although, if she would have known that Grace was never in any real danger she would have done things quite differently in the past few weeks.

He bent down to be at eye level with her. "Now say thank you for not harming your daughter."

She glared at him for a few moments, but relented. "Thank you" she said, looking away from him.

He prepared what he called a _"_ farewell" glass of wine for both of them. "Drink this" he said, holding the glass out to her.

"No"

He sighed, "Alicia, don't be so stubborn. Have one last glass of wine."

"Untie my hands, and I'll drink it," she said, staring up at him.

"Drink it, and I'll untie your hands," he said, using the gun as a threat again.

What else was she going to do? She knew if she didn't he'd hit her again, or worse, and she was thirsty. She lifted her tied up hands taking the glass from him. He placed the gun back in the holster around his waist as she drank the dark red liquid.

A few minutes later he untied her hands. Thinking this would be her last chance to try and escape from him she sprang up off the seat, smashing the wine glass against his face. He cried out in pain and tried to grab her, but she dove over the side of the boat into the water making her way as fast as she could to shore. She expected him follow quickly, to start shooting at her, but he didn't. She began running at full speed into the wooded area that lay before her. No small fete soaking wet, and without shoes, but her life depended on it. He watched the path she took as he pulled the boat close to shore wiping at the cut on his face.

He jumped out, and began to follow her. He held back for about ten minutes before quickening his pace to close the gap between them. She was beginning to slow down, but not on her own will. She kept hoping she'd run into someone that could help her but as she continued running her body began to fatigue. She wasn't paying much attention to where she was going and tripped, sliding in the wet mud down a slope, unable to stop herself from falling.

Her body was getting weaker she didn't know what was happening. She reached a tree a short distance away and moved behind it to hide, but it was no use. Pierson caught up to her pushing her hard against the wet hard ground. She screamed doing her best to try and fight him off, but he was too strong against her weakening body. He placed a hand over her mouth to quiet her, his other preventing her from getting up.

"I'm done with all the trouble you're causing," he said, placing his hands around her neck. She continued to fight him trying to pull his hands off of her. He removed one hand from her neck and ripped her blouse. "Don't fight it Alicia, your body is going to give out any minute. Just let it happen."

She continued to fight him trying to push him off of her. "Have you ever heard of Rohypnol?" he said, removing his hand from her neck, pressing her hurt wrist into the ground next to her head.

"No"

"How about the date rape drug?"

She was getting weaker things were getting blurry. She could feel her body slowing. "I put some in your drink. I like to keep a stash on board my boat. Soon you'll be subdued. I'll have my way with you, and then. Well you know what happens then."

"Stop" she pleaded. He pressed down harder. "Help" she yelled a few times.

"This could have been less painful Alicia. You could have had a calm quiet death, but you had to fight it."

Her mind was wandering it was getting hard to concentrate. She couldn't process that soon she may take her last breaths. Only to be dumped in the wrong body of water. Or worse buried right here, far away from the spot she'd left notes on in her fake case file. Zach and Grace would never know what happened to her, and it was more than she could bear. Tears began to flow she moved her free hand almost unwillingly down his shirt, as he leaned over her. And then she felt it. It was right under hand, how could he have been so careless? He was distracted, that was how. She closed her eyes feeling his hands moving to her bra as she gripped the end of the gun. She pulled it out slowly using every bit of concentration and strength she had left, and fired.

* * *

"Alicia" Will said for the fifth time gently shaking her. She started mumbling. _"Stop, help, someone please help."_

Will heaved a sigh of relief as he tried to pull her blouse back over her torso to cover back up. "Alicia, it's okay. Your safe," he said to reassure her.

Her eyes fluttered open taking a few moments to focus. She felt awful. Her whole body hurt. She felt like she'd been run over by a truck.

Not realizing Will was the one adjusting her clothing, or how long she'd been unconscious, she immediately became defensive brushing his hand away from her. "Stop, get off of me. Someone please help."

"Alicia," he said, gently taking her hand. "It's me, Will."

She turned her head towards him trying to focus.

"Will" she said, in a barely audible tone.

"Yes" he said, gently brushing her cheek. "Don't move too much, you're hurt."

"Will, help he's going to kill me," she said quietly, her voice cracking.

"Shhh," he said, to reassure her. "It's okay Leesh, your safe." As she began to come more and more out of the haze she realized he was attempting to move something heavy that had been lying on top of her legs. Once he'd removed it, he reached his arms around her lifting her to a seated position against the tree. Then she saw it, Pierson's body rolled over on its side.

She glanced up at Will who had the most concerned look on his face she'd ever seen. Then she glanced down at her lower extremities. Her shirt and pants stained with blood, the gun rested under her left hand. She felt sick.

Will gently placed his hands on her arms as he called to someone else. "Alicia, tell me where it hurts. Can you move your legs, your arms?"

She was still trying to focus, trying to remember what had happened. "It hurts all over." she admitted, as tears began to well up in her eyes.

Someone else had joined them. Someone she didn't know or recognize. He bent down in front of her. "Wow, this is really bad." The man said, reaching his hand to her shoulder. She pushed it away. He looked quizzically at Will.

"Alicia, it's okay, he's here to help."

"If he wants to help he can take that man to the police," she said, pointing at Pierson. Both men looked at each other confused. She clearly didn't know what had happened, and was confused. They figured she'd been unconscious for hours, but not knowing that Pierson had drugged her and the side effects of the drug, was complicating things.

Will turned back to her. "Alicia, he's dead. He can't hurt you anymore."

The internal battle she was fighting was excruciating. How could he be dead? Had Will killed him? Had this other man killed him? She was too drowsy and hurt to figure it out. All she wanted to do was sleep. She wanted to rest her head on Will's shoulder and sleep. She closed her eyes.

"We need to get her out of here," Will said.

"I'll go get some more help," the other man said, then stood and walked back up the hill.

Will moved and sat next to her, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her in close. She immediately relaxed into his arms falling back to sleep. "I'm sorry Alicia. I'm so sorry."


	6. Recovery

**A/N; Thank you as always for the input and support!**

"So you're a hero now?" Diane said, handing a cup of coffee to her partner who sat staring blankly out the window in his office. It was eight in the morning and variations of, _Will Gardner, the man who saved the Governor's wife,_ were all over the headlines.

He sighed heavily, taking the cup from her. "Heroes are supposed to save the innocent from harm. I didn't do anything of the sort. There were no heroes in this situation. Unless saving your own life counts as heroism. There were a dozen other people out there that could have fallen upon her just as easily as I did." He was irritated with the headlines that had put him at the forefront of finding Alicia. He felt like everyone involved in the search and rescue deserved just as much recognition. But once the photo had been snapped of her wrapped in a blanket settled against his chest while the medics checked her out, it was all over.

"That may be true, but the press doesn't view it that way."

"Screw the press," he said, taking a sip of his coffee. "If any one of them would have seen how atrocious the whole scene was, the headlines would read differently."

Diane sat across from him on the sofa. He set his coffee down and ran his hands through his hair. "I thought she was dead, blood everywhere, her clothes torn, him lying across her. She looked lifeless," he said, looking over to her.

"How are you handling it?" she said, placing a finger to her chin.

He looked at her as if the question hadn't even crossed his mind. "Me? Fine. The better question is how is she going to handle it once she wakes up? It's a national news story. They have three guards stationed at the hospital because they don't know if Pierson was the only one involved, or if his motives were personal or political. All of the Florricks are being heavily guarded. The Cook county police and FBI, are waiting like piranhas outside her room so they can question her. The press is camped outside the hospital waiting for any sort of statement from Peter. And let's not forget the reason for all this, the woman who nearly died yesterday. The woman whose body is covered with scrapes and bruises, and has a nasty gash on her forehead." Will felt like the whole situation was being handled poorly, and that Alicia's well being was the last thing on the minds of the authorities.

"Did they find any sign that he sexually assaulted her?" Diane said with great concern. No one outside of Peter, Will, and a few others knew the extent of Alicia's exam after arriving at the hospital the previous night. Even then the details of what had happened were very sketchy. They had been able to rouse Alicia from her sleep a few times during the night, but being under the influence of the drug, had caused her to act and talk very incoherently.

"No, thankfully," Will said somberly.

"What do you think went on in all those hours before the 911 call?"

"That's a question everyone's waiting to get an answer to once she's fully awake. They are looking for the file Alicia claimed in her appointment notes, had all the information in it the authorities would need. They questioned Mike sometime during the night, and are looking into all of the business dealings."

"How do you suppose Alicia knew Pierson would try to kill her yesterday? What was his motive for targeting her in the first place?"

"All good questions. I'm guessing he told her. That has to be why she came up with the whole story about leaving the law again." He stood and went to stand in front of the window with his hands in his pockets. "I should have done more. The other night when she came here I should have kept her here long enough to find out what was going on. Maybe I could have prevented this from happening. But I was so caught up in the case and winning, I didn't see it." He shook his head in frustration.

"Do you think it had to do with the case?"

"I have no idea, but I could have protected her."

"Will, you can't blame yourself. There's nothing you can do to go back to that night. The important thing is to move forward no matter what the future holds. I can't imagine it's going to be easy... for either of you" She stood up next to him. "Some bridges are not so easily mended, especially when it comes to trust. But it might be time to start rebuilding the bridge that's been broken for nearly two years. Especially when the two people on each end of that bridge still care about each other." She turned and walked out of his office, leaving him to his thoughts once again.

Diane was right, he knew that. Despite what Peter had told him the previous day, Alicia could very well not want anything to do with him. Although, she wouldn't let anyone touch her on the trip to the hospital unless Will was next to her assuring her that each new face that appeared was there to help her, not harm her. It had to mean something if she knew she could trust his judgment, when she wasn't completely mentally capable of doing it for herself. He was admittedly still angry at her. But his love and concern for her had taken over most of the room in his heart that was bitter. He hoped she would allow them to begin rebuilding that bridge, because he'd realized over the past months, that life without her seemed empty, and without much meaning or purpose.

* * *

"Peter, I want this IV taken out." Alicia said, an hour after waking.

"Alicia, they want to make sure you get enough fluids for the next few hours," he said, taking her hand into his.

"Peter, I will drink as much bottled water as they want to bring me, but I am not going to allow for anyone to add any medication through that IV into my body. I almost died yesterday because someone put medication into my drink. Get a doctor or a nurse in here to remove it, or I'll take it out myself."

"Alicia"

"Peter" she said, with a glare that meant she was dead serious. He only nodded and headed out of the room.

An hour later Peter addressed the press, asking for some privacy during his wife's recovery. Then quickly avoided all other questions about the situation thrown in his direction.

Soon after the press conference, two Federal agents and two police investigators were allowed into her room to question her. They questioned her for nearly twenty minutes asking all the wrong questions in her opinion.

"Did you go to Mr. Pierson's property willingly?"

"No"

There were also questions she didn't even know how to answer, like, "Did you shoot Mr. Pierson?" She had no recollection of the events that had occurred after Pierson had told her that he had drugged her. She quickly became aware of the fact that they had obviously either not found her false case file, or hadn't read it because she had given a fairly descriptive summary of Pierson's past crimes, and these guys seemed clueless. She had to explain to them that he had been the one to kill the other missing women in the FBI's on going investigation. As well as inform them he had been the one to kill his wife. Then they continued.

"Mrs. Florrick, do you know if Mr. Pierson had any accomplices?"

"No, he didn't."

"Do you know why he targeted you? What his motives were?"

"Yes"

Everyone in the room looked at her waiting for a more complete explanation, but she didn't say anything.

"Will you elaborate?"

"No"

Peter couldn't help but smile and chuckle to himself. He knew full well these guys weren't going to get much more information out of her.

She finally put an end to what felt more like an interrogation than a friendly information gathering session. "Gentlemen, the only things you need to really concern yourselves with right now, are the fact that this man tried to kill me, and that he killed five other women in the past."

"Alicia, we just have a few more questions, and then we'll leave you alone."

She shook her head. "Gentlemen, I'm tired, and the pain medication is beginning to wear off. What you need to be doing instead of wasting your time questioning me, is to find that file in my office, and start searching for the bodies of the other women." She looked from one to the next. "And since you haven't read the file, I'll give you a little hint as to their whereabouts," she said sarcastically.

"Check the bottom of the lake in the cove near his home. That should keep you busy for awhile. I'm more than happy to sit down with all of you and go over this in greater detail once I'm out of the hospital, and have had a few weeks to put my life back together. Until then, I'm not answering any more of your questions, unless they're relevant, and can be answered in a matter of minutes." She sat back glaring at them, and that was Peter's cue to intervene.

"Why don't we let Alicia rest awhile? It sounds like there is plenty of work to be done without further questioning." No one was going to protest the governor's request. The four men stood, thanked Alicia for her help, and exited the room.

Peter sat back down next to her. "Alicia, they're just trying to do their job," he said, taking her hand again.

"Peter, if they had done their job, I wouldn't be here right now. I'm not about to make this easier on anyone. I've been through hell these past few weeks. Anyone looking for a little leeway isn't going to get it from me."

Peter put his head down. He was trying to be helpful, trying to be supportive of her, but she'd been taking everything he said the wrong way the entire morning. "I know this has been rough for you. Everyone is trying to help, especially me. I'm not the enemy." he said, looking back up into her eyes.

She was about to give a retort to his comment, but looking into his eyes, knew he was being genuine in his concern for her. "Okay, thank you," she said, a slight smile crossing her lips. "I want to be alone for awhile, and maybe rest okay?"

"Okay" He placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and stood to leave. "The kids and I will come back in a few hours. Mark is here to protect you. He'll just be outside," he said, pointing to the man in the suit she'd been introduced to earlier. "If you need me, or anything else, not medically related, you talk to him."

"Okay, I'll see you in a few hours." Peter and Mark both turned and exited the room. She closed her eyes and lay back into the pillows. She didn't like this, a body guard. She didn't like the idea of being constantly followed. She'd just spent the past few weeks being followed by a serial killer. She knew she couldn't protest it for the time being. At least if anyone tried to harm her, this guy would theoretically take a bullet for her. While it eased her anxiety over being attacked again, she wasn't sure she would ever be able to get used to the idea of a security detail. The thought brought back to her mind all the complications of the campaign, but were then quickly turned back to her current situation. It was infuriating not being able to remember crucial aspects of the previous day, and trying to figure out if indeed she had ended Pierson's life. The evidence was pretty strong that she had. This idea weighed heavily upon her conscience.

Soon she began to drift off to sleep, and she found her thoughts wandering to Will. She wondered if he'd come see her. She knew he had been with her at different points in the previous hours, but for how long, or when she couldn't recall. Peter had told her that Will was the one that had found her, she couldn't remember this either. Her emotions were a mess. Everything was so complicated. Peter, Will, her attempted murder. She didn't know what it meant, or what to think about the fact that Will cared enough to help in the search for her. She realized that out of anyone despite the bad feelings between them, he was the one she felt the most secure with. Even over Peter, and that thought was troubling.

* * *

Hours later after the kids had gone she had dozed off. Peter had stayed with her. She woke in the late evening to the sound of two male voices. Realizing that one of those voices was Will's, she held her eyes shut listening for a few moments.

"How is she?" Will said, standing next to Peter at the foot of her bed.

"She's... recovering," he replied, as the two men turned their gaze to her.

"That good huh?"

"She's void of emotion. I don't know what to do when I have no clue how she's feeling. I don't know what I expected once she was fully conscious, relief, fear, sadness, anger, something, but it's like she's shut off her emotions. She doesn't want to talk about any of it, not even with me."

"Give her some time. She probably needs to work it all out in her own mind before she'll be willing to open up. That's how she is with everything."

"The calm before the storm." Peter mused. "You should have seen her when the authorities were questioning her. She went right into _well prepped witness_ mode. It was amusing. The men questioning her hardly got anything to work with, and she ended it well before they were finished." The two men chuckled.

"Once a lawyer, always a lawyer!" Will mused.

The two men made small talk for a few more moments before Alicia opened her eyes. They were so engrossed in the Cub's current season that they didn't notice her staring at them.

"I'm dead right?" she finally said.

The two men stopped mid-conversation turning their attention to her. "What?" Peter asked.

"I died yesterday, and this is all some crazy afterlife, because the last time I checked, the two of you had a very strong, mutual dislike of each other. Yet, here you are chatting like your old friends."

The men chuckled. Will looked down at his feet sheepishly, as Peter moved over next to her. "No, this is real. Will and I..." he paused looking over to Will.

"We've set our differences aside for awhile," Will said. "For the sake of baseball, obviously!" he continued with a smile. Alicia eyed both of them, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, I don't know what's going on, but honestly I don't think I really care right now."

"Nothing's going on. I'm going to go. I told the kids I'd be home by ten. Call me if you need anything, or have Mark do it. He'll be here until midnight, and then Scott will take over until morning."

"Okay," she said, looking up at him. He kissed the top of her head, then went and shook Will's hand.

"See you Peter."

Once Peter had gone they stared at each other for a few moments neither one sure of what to say, or where to even begin. The atmosphere in the room had changed to uncomfortable now that it was just the two of them.

"You can sit if you want," she said, pointing to the chair next to her with a slight smile. He returned the smile, moving to sit next to her.

"How are you?" he said, with a look of concern.

"Fine, I have my own personal secret service agent, and three other security persons to keep me safe from... a dead man," she said, rolling her eyes. "As well as a small staff of nurses and a doctor, dedicated to my care, and my care alone. It's like we're already living in the White House," she said, with thick sarcasm.

He chuckled under his breath.

"I also have a room, and I'm told apartment, full of flowers from half the state of Illinois," she said, pointing at the various bouquets that had been brought to her room throughout the day.

"I can see that! Now tell me how you're really doing, other than slightly annoyed by all of the attention being given to the governor's wife!" He held her gaze, not knowing if she would be more forth-coming. He lifted his hand wanting to touch her, to reassure her, but quickly pulled it back.

She became serious again thinking about how odd it was that she had gotten to a point of it being more comfortable to talk with Will, than to Peter. Even if it was a heated argument, or cross examination, she had never struggled for a lack of words. Tonight maybe it was just that for the time being, there were no expectations. She didn't have to answer any of his questions if she didn't want to, but she also felt that she didn't have to hide anything or hold anything back. She knew that however he reacted, or what he said, would be at face value.

"In some pain, but it looks worse than it feels," she said, toying with the bandage that was wrapped around her wrist.

"Is it broken?" he asked.

"Just a small fracture," she said, turning her gaze to her wrist. Her thoughts wandered to the previous day and the moment when it had been hurt. He could tell she had gotten lost in thought, but he didn't interrupt. A few moments later she spoke up again. "It happened... after I called 911." She paused again. "He... caught me, pulled me to the ground." She shook her head catching his solemn gaze. This was more than she had admitted to anyone else about the actual events of the previous day. His manner in questioning her didn't feel like an interrogation, or an obligation, like it had seemed from everyone else.

"I heard the call." Her expression changed to surprise. "I was with Peter when they brought it to him to authenticate your voice."

"You were with Peter?"

"Diane and I." He sighed, sitting back in his chair.

"Do I even want to know?" she turned her lips up into a smile, but her eyes betrayed her, showing fear from the previous day.

"I went to confront him!" he said, leaning back placing his hands behind his head.

"Confront him about..." She sighed and looked away. "You thought he was the one who had..." She struggled to even come up with words for all that happened. "I'm sorry, for lying to you the other night about that."

He leaned forward again. "Alicia, you don't have anything to be sorry for. This wasn't your fault, but why didn't you tell me the truth? I would have stopped this guy."

She turned, looking him in the eyes again. "Don't you think I wanted too?" Her voice rose unintentionally. "I wanted to scream it to the world, tell everyone who this guy really was, and what he'd done. But I had to protect Grace"

"We could have protected Grace."

"I know that now, but when you're in the middle of a crisis, and more scared than you've ever been in your whole life, things aren't so clear."

He nodded in understanding, feeling even worse at the thought of how terrified she must have been. The worst part was that she had felt the need to keep it a secret from everyone.

"And don't just assume you know everything about the circumstances that led me here. It's not all colored in black and white."

"Alicia, I'm not assuming anything." He managed to keep his tone calm and even. "I'm just saying that I would have done everything I could have to have prevented this from happening to you."

Their eyes were locked on one another, as his last few words played over and over in her mind. She could easily fall to pieces and tell him just how awful it had all been, but part of her didn't believe anyone, not even Will, could understand the extent of her pain at this point. And she knew full well no one could change anything that had happened.

"Why did he do it? Why did he target you?"

"I fit his profile." She didn't blame him, but she wasn't ready to tell him that her relationship with him, and his part in the trial, had played a key role in her being Pierson's victim.

"His profile?"

She sighed. "Will, I don't want to talk about it anymore okay? Not tonight."

He nodded shifting forward in the chair. "Okay. Is there anything you need? Anything I can get for you?"

She pondered the question for a moment before responding. "If you want to do something, go find us something to drink, bottled water if that's all there is at this hour. Then, if you're not to anxious to get home, you can stay here and talk to me about something other than the events of yesterday. I slept on and off all day, and I'm wide awake now. It would be nice to not sit here for the next few hours alone, thinking about things I don't want to think about."

"I think I can do that!" He stood and headed for the door. "I have the perfect story to tell you about Diane and Kurt! But if you ever breathe a word of it to her, know that I will deny it until the day I die!"

"I'm good at keeping secrets!" she responded with a grin.

They spent the next while laughing about Diane and Kurt's most recent hunting excursion, and all the mishaps brought along with it. He had a few other good stories about David Lee, and Howard Lyman. She had a few funny stories about Zach at Georgetown, which only Will could really appreciate. They didn't talk anymore about the previous day, or weeks. They avoided discussing anything that had to do with their current relationship. Pushing all the mess aside for the time being was what Alicia had really wanted.

It was time for him to leave, their light laughter died down. Everything was suddenly falling back into reality again. "Thank you for... this!" she said, holding the empty bottle of water up. He put his head down briefly then looked back up to her.

"You're welcome," he said, holding her gaze. "Okay, I should go." He stood and started towards the door, but stopped turning back to face her. "Alicia"

She didn't say anything, just waited for him to continue. "Yesterday, when I thought there was a chance you had died... I realized a few things."

"Will, I can't do this tonight," she said, in almost a whisper. Her heart felt like it was going to jump right out of her body from beating so fast.

He sighed. "Okay, but when things slow down, when life starts to pull together again, can we talk?"

"Yes, when things slow down."

"If you need anything, I'm here. Don't hesitate to call."

"Okay," she said, pulling the blanket up to cover her legs.

"I mean it Alicia. If it's three in the morning, or two in the afternoon call me. You don't have to fight through this alone."

"Okay, now go. I don't want to be on Diane's list for keeping you out to late!" she said, smiling again.

He laughed. "Smart!"

"Always"

She watched as he left the room, stopping briefly to talk with the men stationed outside her room. Her head was spinning. She and Will had just spent two hours together, and it had seemed like old times. She worried it was just a false sense of hope. She didn't know what she wanted at this point. She didn't know if she had really truly forgiven him, or if he had really forgiven her. Maybe the whole night had been an act on both their parts. She hoped it hadn't been. Because just as it had been in his office forty eight hours prior, she realized that being in his presence tonight had been her only source of comfort the entire day. This worried her, because she didn't know how he really felt, and they had mountains of issues to work through. Some from the previous weeks that could prove more difficult to get through than anything else. Pierson had said things, done things to her in direct correlation with things Will had done in court. She knew it wasn't Will's fault, but some memories have a way of changing your perspective on everything, whether rational or not.


	7. I Need a Lawyer

**A/N; Thank you all again! I know a quick update, but this chapter was already written last week! I'd like to say get used to it, but I can't promise that. Happy Holiday's everyone!**

It had been a long day. There had been a constant stream of people in and out of Alicia's room all day. She was looking forward to getting home. Even if it would be difficult to find solace within those walls, at least it would be quiet, and people would be forced to leave her alone. She'd fallen asleep in the early evening, but woke hours later to the sound of men's voices.

Two agents were outside her hospital room chuckling about something. The FBI, police, and Peter, had insisted they keep guards, in addition to her personal security detail, on watch at the hospital. She protested vehemently, insisting that one security person was plenty. She lost the argument, but was set to go home the following day, so she let it go.

A sense of uneasiness continued to flow through her as she listened to the men's conversation. The uneasiness had been eating at her ever since the lead investigator on the Pierson case had come to ask her a few more questions earlier in the day, and she hadn't been able to pinpoint its source. Then the men's conversation grabbed her complete attention.

"They can't find that file she claimed to have written anywhere in her office," one of the men said.

"Maybe it's at her apartment," the other one countered.

"Maybe, but boss said today they haven't found any bodies at the bottom of that lake. I'm just saying it all seems suspicious. That guy was supposedly an upstanding citizen, doing things like giving to charities all the time, and his different business ventures have brought a lot of jobs to the entire state. Everyone loved him."

 _Yep, everyone loved the serial killer,_ Alicia smirked, thinking to herself.

"Come on, you think she's lying? We meet criminals everyday who seem like upstanding citizens," the second man said.

"Not about all of it. I'm saying that maybe everything didn't happen the way she said it did. She claimed Pierson told her he kept a stash of that drug he gave her on his boat. They didn't find a trace of it anywhere on the boat except for the broken glass."

"She's hardly said anything, how do we know it didn't happen exactly how she said it did?" The second man seemed to be defending her. "Look at her. She didn't do all of that to herself just so she'd have a good alibi for a murder."

"I'm not saying she did. I'm saying that the circumstances around the murder seem a little fishy, and I'm not the only one thinking it. She said he grabbed her at the courthouse, and drove her car to his house. But they didn't find any of his fingerprints in her car. Either he was never at the courthouse, or they met there, and drove to his house separately."

Alicia sat up in bed, her mind racing. _What do you mean they didn't find his fingerprints in my car?_ _He's the one that drove._ Then she remembered. _He was wearing gloves._ She sighed and continued listening.

"The investigators think she drove there on her own. That she went to confront him, and that the murder may have been premeditated.

"Confront him about what?"

"It's obvious he beat her up, so possibly about the abuse, but some think it may have been over an affair turned sour."

"Wait, they think she had an affair with him?"

Alicia's anxiety level shot through the roof. _An affair? Premeditation? He's the one who had this all planned out, not me._ She shifted, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Do you think they will charge her with anything?"

"I don't know, she is the governor's wife."

Her head was spinning. "Everything okay Mrs. Florrick?" Mark said, as he entered the room. He'd gone to get some coffee. She looked past him towards the door, where just outside the other two men were continuing their conversation.

"Yes, I'm checking out of the hospital in a few minutes. Can you take me home before you get off tonight?" He looked at her blankly. "I know your shift ends shortly, but I would really appreciate it you would take me home first," she said, as she stood.

Mark looked uncomfortably at his watch. "Mrs. Florrick yes, but,"

"Call me Alicia okay? Now please go find the doctor, and tell him I'm checking myself out."

"But Mrs… Alicia..."

"Please Mark, just go get the doctor," she said, grabbing the extra set of clothes Grace had thoughtfully brought for her earlier in the day.

A few minutes later the doctor, two nurses, Mark, and the two men from outside her room, were standing in front of her.

"Alicia, it would really be better for you to spend one more day here," the doctor said, moving closer to her.

 _Better for whom? Better for the police so they can arrest me?_ She thought, fastening the straps of her sandal's and standing. "No, I'll recover better at home. I can't rest here, there are too many interruptions. It's a good time to go while the press isn't waiting outside, and you can't legally keep me here. So get me the discharge papers so I can sign them."

"Maybe we could call your husband," the doctor suggested, looking to the other men in the room.

"My husband is busy and at home with our two children. There is no reason for him to come all the way down here when one of his men is here, and fully capable of taking me home. Now get the discharge papers, or I'll leave without signing them. I'm guessing you don't really want to have to explain to your boss in the morning why there's no signature on them." She held her stance even though her head was throbbing. A few moments later the doctor exited the room to retrieve the forms.

* * *

Will sat on the couch in his apartment with the evening sports news on in the background. He was working and half watching the screen when his phone buzzed. He picked it up off the coffee table, surprised to see a text message from Alicia.

 _Are you still up?_ It read.

 _Yes, is everything okay?_ He replied surprised she'd actually taken him up on his offer from the previous day.

 _Are you accepting new clients right now?_ _  
_  
_Depends on the client!_ The conversation was not headed in the direction he expected. _  
_  
_Depends on what?  
_  
 _Do they have money?!_ He typed to see if he could get a reaction out of her.

 _Some things never change!_

He chuckled to himself. He could almost picture the eye roll that he knew she had given to his response.

 _Are your fees still the same?_

 _Yes_

 _Good_

 _Why would you be trying to give me of all people, a new client, when I'm certain your firm could handle it?_

 _Was that a compliment to my firm Mr. Gardner?_

He chuckled again. It had been a compliment. He hadn't seen the new office space she and Cary had moved their firm into a few months prior. But the building was only a few blocks from his, and had been completely renovated. Her firm leased two floors.

 _Don't jump to conclusions Mrs. Florrick._

While he waited for a response, there was a knock at his door. He glanced towards the front door, then looked at his watch to see the time. Then another knock. Slightly irritated, he stood from the couch and headed towards the door, wondering who in their right mind would dare show up at nearly one in the morning. "The building better be on fire, or…" he said sternly, opening the door. He stared in shock for a few moments before speaking.

"Alicia? What?"

"Can I come in?" she said, cutting him off.

"Um, sure," he said, eyeing the tall suited man behind her. She moved past him into the apartment. Mark tried to follow, but she turned and put a hand to his chest preventing him from moving in further.

"Mam, I need to do a sweep of the apartment."

She couldn't help but laugh. "Mark, if you can look me in the eye and honestly tell me that there is a chance something in this apartment will harm me, then you go ahead and do a sweep of the apartment!" Will smiled at the irony.

Mark nodded with a slight smile of understanding. "Yes Mam" He turned and went to wait outside the front door.

"I'll only be ten minutes." she said, closing the door behind him, and moving further into the apartment.

Will ran a hand through his hair as he followed her into the front room. It had been years since she'd been at his place, and just three days ago he could have honestly said she would never step foot in his place again. Yet here she was in the middle of the night standing in his living room.

"Alicia, sit down. I thought you were supposed to be in the hospital for another day. Do you need more pillows, a drink?" he said, moving some files from the couch to make room for her, noticing her carefully sit and lean back against cushions.

"Will, I'm fine."

He looked her in the eye knowing she was lying.

"Okay, I'm sore, and my head hurts, but I'm fine. I don't need anything. Now, the reason I'm here. I'm the client. I think I might need a lawyer." He would have chuckled thinking it was a joke, but she said it with such seriousness in her tone that had to pause and let the words register.

"Why would you need a lawyer?"

"Because, they may try to charge me with something over Pierson's death, like voluntary manslaughter." She said it with no emotion. She'd perfected the art of a poker face.

"Alicia, listen to me. No one is going to charge you with a crime over this." He began to wonder what kind of medication they had her on.

"Will, I killed him." She froze for a moment at the reality of saying the words out loud. "All the evidence shows it was me, not him that fired that gun."

"Alicia, it was self-defense."

"Was it? I don't remember Will," she said, with a hint of frustration. She stood and began to pace. "I can't remember much of what happened after I slipped and fell down that bank. I've tried for two days, but I can't. Maybe I could have gotten away from him, I don't know." She stopped pacing, placing her hands on her hips and looked at him clearly frustrated. He could see the vulnerability in her eyes, and wondered if anyone else ever noticed how her eyes betrayed her tone sometimes.

"Yes, it was self defense," he said, standing to move closer to her. She inhaled deeply as he approached, and backed up slightly. He wanted to reach out to her, put his arms around her, and see if he could comfort her. But she hadn't given him permission to do so, and the look in her eyes when he moved closer held him back.

"Alicia, I was there… You were the one with the torn clothes, and scratches on your neck. You were the one with bruises in places that I can't even begin to imagine how they got there, not John Pierson. I don't know the whole story. But there is no way that anyone who saw you two nights ago, could argue that it was anything but self defense. Where is all of this coming from?" He placed his hands in his pockets as she looked down at the floor.

They moved back to the couch, and she recounted the conversation she'd heard just an hour before. Will shook his head when she'd finished. "It's just talk, and those two guys are way down on the food chain for receiving accurate information."

"That may be, but I've thought about it. Pierson must have been trying to set me up. I can't explain the missing file. I'll have to find it myself. But he must have realized that he couldn't dispose of my body as easily as the others, and wanted my death to look like self defense. He wore gloves when we were in my car. He called 911 to make it look like I was the one enraged and out of control. I hit him with the wine glass that had the rohypnol in it, that's how I got off the boat. But he wasn't in a hurry to follow after me. He must have dumped the rest of it in the lake."

"Okay, Alicia listen."

"No Will, I'm almost certain the bodies are at the bottom of that lake. When I told him how I thought he'd disposed of the other women, he didn't refute any of it. He wanted to know how I'd figured it out. But if they don't find the bodies, there will have been no progress made on those cases, and I suddenly look very guilty."

She folded her arms across her chest, and turned away from him. "What if they don't believe me?" she said, in a quiet tone. "I just want…" she paused, her vulnerability growing closer to the surface. She suddenly realized how intrusive it must have been, her showing up in the middle of the night. It could have waited until morning. She turned back to face him, and noticed he didn't look frustrated, or annoyed at all. "Will, I'm sorry. I should have called. I had no right to come so late, or to even come here." She stood and went to grab her purse.

"I believe you," he said. She turned, facing him again. "I believe everything you've told me. Now finish. What is it you want?" he said, moving close to her once again. She looked down, but didn't back up this time. She'd realized just moments before that she yearned for someone else to know everything. For someone else to share in her heavy burden, or misery, or pain, or whatever this was. She just wanted someone else to understand. She needed to talk, but she wasn't ready. Not yet. He believed her, and that was what mattered to her for the time being. She glanced back up into his eyes.

"So you and Diane will represent me?"

He disliked how she was avoiding his questions again, but he also understood her need for time. "Yes. If you end up needing representation we will defend you. But you're not going to need representation." His lips turned up in a slight smile. "I have to ask, why of all the lawyers in this city, would you choose your arch rivals?"

She laughed under her breath and turned away for a moment. "Because, you and Diane are the best criminal defense attorneys in the state." He chuckled as well. She turned, looking serious again. "And… I wouldn't trust my life with anyone else."

There was a lot of meaning behind those words. She knew it, and so did he. "Okay, I'll bring a retainer agreement over for you to sign. And just to be safe, don't talk to anyone else about the situation, and don't answer any more of their questions, unless Diane or I are present."

She nodded. "Okay, thank you." They continued to gaze at each other for a few moments. "I should go."

"Yeah"

She stepped back from him. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"As your lawyer or as something else?" he replied.

"Both. I know this might sound ridiculous, but since we're going to see each other in the future, could you… wear a different cologne?" She was embarrassed for even asking, but the scent of his cologne brought up feelings and memories within her that she couldn't deal with for awhile. He looked at her oddly, not understanding. The cologne he was wearing had always been her favorite.

"Sure!"

She smiled sheepishly. "Thank you" She reached for her purse, and headed for the door.

"So how's the body guard?" he said, following her to the door.

She stopped, turned and rolled her eyes. "He seems nice, but I will never get used to this!"

"Hey, at least your safe right!" he said, with a huge grin on his face.

She rolled her eyes again. "Yes, let's turn this into something positive!" she said sarcastically.

After she'd gone, he turned out the lights in the apartment and headed towards bed. He didn't believe for a minute they would try and charge her with anything. But if she felt better knowing she had someone to defend her, he was happy to be that for her. He really did believe what little of the events from the past weeks she'd disclosed to him. He hoped letting her know he believed her would help in rebuilding some of her trust in him.

He brushed his teeth, and moved the current bottle of cologne that sat on the counter top to the shelf in the medicine cabinet, and pulled a different one out shaking his head. Her odd request had certainly come out of nowhere.

As he climbed into bed he pondered over how she was doing a recklessly great job of holding her emotions in. Reckless it was. He knew full well that at some point she wouldn't be able to hold it in any longer, and it would likely blow up in everyone's faces. It was like waiting on a ticking time bomb. Then again maybe she'd prove to be as strong as she must have been in the past months and weeks, and just move past it. _No, no one could just move past what she'd been through. Not even Alicia._ He thought as he drifted off to sleep.


	8. Mom

**A/N; Happy New Year! Thank you again for the reviews and follows. And a personal thank you to the guest reviewers who I can't thank personally!**

Alicia woke to the sound of her mother's voice in the other room. She sighed heavily, observing the room that surrounded her. The space was plain, and uninviting. She made a mental note to add a fresh coat of paint to the space in addition to the changes she had planned for the master bedroom, since it was occasionally used for guests, Peter being the most frequent guest.

"Alicia, how are you darling?" Veronica said, entering the room off the kitchen, and sitting on the edge of the bed.

 _So this was Peter's plan. He couldn't convince me to get out of bed the past three days, so he finally tried mom._ She thought to herself, turning to face Veronica.

"I'm fine Mom, just tired."

"Peter said you haven't gotten out of bed since you came home and you've hardly eaten anything. That doesn't sound fine to me."

"Mom," Alicia said, lifting herself to her elbows. "You do realize I was beaten, injured, and almost killed five days ago right? I'm recovering. Why does everyone think I should be up and ready to run a marathon?"

"Alicia, no one thinks you should be back to perfect health. But ignoring everyone, sleeping twenty hours a day and refusing to eat, is more than just recovering."

Alicia shook her head and flopped back onto the pillows. "Mom, I'm doing the best I can, and I don't really care if I'm meeting anyone's expectations."

"I think you need to see someone?"

"No," she responded, pulling a pillow to cover her face.

"Alicia, you've been through a traumatic experience. It wouldn't hurt to talk to a professional."

"I don't need to see a professional. I need everyone to back off, and stop thinking I'm falling apart."

Veronica sighed, and placed a hand to her arm. "Well, at least get out of bed for awhile, and come eat. Grace is worried sick about you." She stood and left the room closing the door behind her.

At the mention of Grace, a great sense of guilt fell over her. She didn't care what Peter, or her mother, or what anyone else thought about her methods over the previous few days, but she didn't want Grace or Zach worrying. She knew she'd have to pull herself out of bed at some point, so why not now? She sat up rubbing her eyes and removed the blankets that had been her comfort for the past three days, and then headed to the kitchen.

Four pairs of eyes turned and looked at her when she entered the room. "Yes, Mom's alive," she said, moving to the sink past Veronica to get a drink.

"See I told you kids, your mother can't resist my lasagna," Veronica said, looking at Grace and Zach who sat at the counter. Alicia turned rolling her eyes as she took a sip of water. "Alicia, why don't you go shower while we finish getting dinner ready?"

"Mom, don't treat me like I'm eight years old," she said, taking her glass of water and heading for her bedroom glaring at Peter as she passed.

"Mom," Grace called. Alicia turned and looked at her. "We finished washing the bedding, and put it back on your bed. You can sleep there now if you want." Alicia had removed the bedding the night she'd come home to the empty apartment with Mark, and had slept in the maids room ever since. When asked about it, she said the bedding was dirty and needed washing.

"Okay, thank you. I'm going to go shower now."

Later after things had quieted down, Alicia entered Grace's room just as she was getting into bed. She sat down on the bed next to her.

"Grace, how are you? You were awfully quiet tonight."

"Okay I guess," she said, with a slight smile. "I just didn't have much to talk about tonight."

"Grandma said you're worried about me."

The teen looked at her for a few moments before responding. "I am."

"You don't need to worry. I'm getting better. I know things have been crazy around here lately, but it will all calm down soon."

"Yeah, I guess," she said, turning away from Alicia. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Mom"

"Yeah"

"It was my fault wasn't it?" Grace asked, as a lump in her throat grew closer to the surface.

Even in the dimly lit room Alicia could see the tears forming in her daughters eyes, and grew concerned.

"Grace, what was your fault?" she said, moving closer to her.

"It was because of me that you didn't tell anyone what that guy was doing to you. It was my fault he took you, and tried to kill you. If it hadn't been for me, you could have told someone, and none of this would have ever happened." Her tears fell freely as Alicia moved and wrapped her arms around her. Alicia's heart ached. She had no idea that Grace had been walking around with this guilt for nearly a week. And though it had taken every ounce of mental energy to pull herself out of bed a few hours earlier, she silently cursed herself for not doing it sooner in an effort to be supportive of her children.

"No Grace, none of this was your fault." She placed a gentle hand to Grace's face forcing her to look at her. "The only one at fault is John Pierson. You're old enough to understand that there are just some really bad people in this world who do really bad things. I don't ever want you to blame yourself for what happened to me."

"But Mom,"

"Grace, Someday you'll have a child of your own, and you'll be able to understand how much I love you. You'll be able to understand that protecting your child from harm at what ever the cost isn't just something a parent does out of duty. I did what I did because I love you and Zach more than anything in this world. And if something would have happened to you because I didn't hold my silence, I would never be able to forgive myself." Grace settled into mother's embrace for a few minutes as her tears fell freely allowing Alicia to comfort her.

"Were you scared?" Grace finally asked.

Alicia bit her lip. "Yes, I've never been so scared. But thinking about you and Zach helped me get through it."

Grace looked down at her fingers for a moment. "What's going to happen now? Is it over? Do we just go back to doing whatever it is we were doing before all of this?" She looked back up into her mother's eyes.

Alicia inhaled. "The worst is over."

"Your bruising is looking better." Grace said, with a slight smile.

"Yes, and soon the bruises and aches will go away, and we will be able to put this behind us. Some things will go back to normal. I'll go back to work next week. You'll start working for your dad. Zach will go back to school.

Other things will be different. While your dad continues his campaign, we will have security with us around the clock, and I'm going to make some changes in the apartment. At some point the authorities will want to sit down with me and the other lawyers involved and question us about the case. But you won't have to be involved in that."

"What about you and dad?"

The question was sincere, and Alicia didn't really know how to respond. She and Peter had been in a difficult place for months, and she honestly didn't know where they stood at this point. They'd had spent more time together over the past week, than they had spent in months. But the communication had remained strained.

"Your dad and I... Need to figure out what we both want, and what we think is best for us,"

"Dad was really worried when they couldn't find you last week, He tried to be brave for me, but I could tell he was worried. I've never seen him like that."

Once again the realization of the whole situation and how it had affected not only her, but her family came crashing down like a ton of bricks. She knew Peter cared. It had been evident in his actions. But she didn't believe it would last, it never had over the past seven years.

"Do you still love dad?"

"Yes, I still love him," she responded honestly. "But your dad and I have been through a lot, and we've grown apart. There is a lot of hurt between both of us, and a lot of things to be worked through. Now you should get some sleep." She leaned over kissing Grace on the forehead and gave her one last hug. "I love you!"

"I love you too."

Alicia stood and walked slowly towards the door. "Mom, dad still loves you too." Alicia paused at the door. "He just wants you to be happy." Alicia looked across the hallway towards Zach room, and for a brief moment wished she could go back in time to when the kids were still very young, and life was simpler.

"Goodnight Grace."

As she moved into the living room she passed Peter who was sitting on the sofa. "Do you want to come sit?" he offered.

"No, I'm going to bed," she said, as she continued towards the kitchen.

Peter sighed, and stood to follow her. "Alicia, we need to talk." He said, as they approached the room.

"You can't just keep shutting me out." He said, closing the door behind them.

"Peter, I'm not shutting you out. You're here, our children are here. We had a family dinner together a few hours ago. Something that hasn't happened in a year since Zach went to college. I need time to think, time to figure out what I want. I have to put my whole life back together, and that is going to take some time."

"Then let me help you put things back together. You don't have to fight the emotional battle alone. Talk to me, so that I can help you work through this."

He moved around the bed to where she stood, not realizing he was backing her into the corner. Will wasn't the only one she was cautious around when her personal space was being invaded. "Peter, stop right there." She put her hands up to prevent him from moving closer. He looked at her confused, but stopped and backed up a bit.

"You think talking about it is going to make it go away? Make it easier for me," she questioned, raising her tone slightly. "The last thing I want to do right now is talk about it. I want to forget any of this ever happened. There are some things that happened over the past few weeks that I will never talk about, things that I've already buried, and don't intend to ever recall again. I'm trying to put this behind me as much as I can. The investigators continue to want more, and I'll likely have to give them more information until this can be put to rest. If you want to do something, start going through this apartment and looking for that lost file. Because if they have that, the less information they'll need from me. And the sooner I can get back to my life."

"Do you really think it's going to be that easy, to just push it to the back of your mind and forget it?" They stood and stared at one another for a few moments.

"Alicia, I'm still struggling with the fact that someone tried to _kill_ you. Not just harm you, but murder you, the mother of my children, my wife."

She let his sincere words sink in. She hated even thinking about the reality of her near death, but even worse was the reality that she had ended someone's life. All she wanted to do was crawl back under the covers and hide again. It was easier.

"I'm not pushing it to back of my mind. I needed a few days to… ignore it. But I'll be fine. I am fine." The words were meant to convince to him so they could change the topic. She turned away from him and got into the bed. "Tomorrow I'll get out of bed, and be productive again. You're free to do what you want. Stay here as long as you like. Support me with my career, and our children. I'll continue to show up for campaign events. But don't ask me to talk about the events of the last few months again. If you want to talk, we talk about other things."

There was clearly no more he could say for the time being. "Okay, if that's the way you want it, then fine. But know that if you change your mind I'm all ears."

"I won't change my mind," she said, pulling the blankets up over her body.

"Why don't you go sleep in the master? The bed's a lot more comfortable. I'll sleep in here." He began unbuttoning the top button of his shirt.

"No, I'm staying here. You go sleep there. Tomorrow I'm having that room painted, and new furniture moved in at the end of the week."

"You're what? Why?"

She sighed annoyed. "Because, I'm not _allowed_ to work this week, and I've wanted to change it for awhile now."

"When did you call a painter? And find new furniture?"

"Despite what you all think, I haven't been sleeping twenty-four hours a day. In the morning I'll need you and Zach to help me move a few things out of there."

He looked at her with a bewildered gaze. She returned the stare with a blank expression. "Okay, see you in the morning." He turned and left her alone in the room. Staying in bed for the rest of her life, which sounded quite appealing at that point, wasn't an option. So contrary to what she told Peter she did push the memories of the past weeks to the back of her mind. Even easier than lying in bed trying to figure out what she had done wrong, and dealing with the memories she thought, would be to try and get back to some sort of normalcy and distract herself with other things. Her apartment wasn't the only thing she decided needed some remodeling. Remodeling she rationalized she was doing out of boredom and for a change, but there were subconscious reasons for her need to change some of surroundings.

* * *

Cary walked down the hall towards Alicia's office. He needed a file on one of their upcoming cases. He stopped abruptly as he opened the door. It was only ten in the morning, but there were boxes everywhere. The painting that had sat behind Alicia's desk had been removed, and she sat on the L shaped sofa that sat in the corner of her office against the floor to ceiling windows busily going through files that she had piled up on the coffee table in front of her.

"Alicia, you were supposed to take the whole week off," he said, gazing around the large corner office space.

"I'm not working Cary," she said, without looking up at him.

"Are you moving out on me?" he said, with a slight chuckle, as he went to sat down in the chair across from her.

She looked up and smiled. "No, I'm doing some remodeling. And I'm looking for that missing file."

"Do I need to point out that we've only been in these offices for three months, and that remodeling seems..."

"Silly" she responded, glancing back up at him.

"Well, I wasn't going to say silly. I was going to go with impractical."

"I decided I don't like the paint color, so I'm changing it, and moving a few things around. Mark here has agreed to help me box everything up. The painters will be in over the weekend, and by Monday morning I'll have a fresh coat of paint, and a boxed up office. If I have to meet with any clients I'll do it in the conference room until I get everything put back together."

"Yeah, sure okay." He continued to watch her. She was obviously very distracted with her task at hand.

"Did you need something?" she finally asked, looking up at him again.

"Yeah, the Colman case files."

"Over there in the filing cabinet." She pointed to her desk.

"You're looking good Alicia," he said, after grabbing the files he needed.

"Thanks Cary!"

"Okay, well I'll leave you to it. If you need anything, I'm just be down the hall!"

She chuckled. "I know!"

Later that evening she sat staring out the windows of her office towards Will's building. She hadn't realized it at the time of their moving into the space and choosing offices, but she had a perfect view of the building that she used to call home. She pulled out her phone and called him.

"Sorry I haven't gotten the retainer agreement over to you yet," he said after their brief introductions.

"It's fine. That's not why I'm calling. The Feds called earlier. They said I could go get my car this weekend."

"That's good news. They must not want to impound it for evidence."

"Listen, I was wondering if you would mind going with me… as my lawyer. I have a feeling that once I'm there, they may want to question me on the events from a week ago."

"Do you want me to call them, and tell them to bring the car back to Chicago? It seems ridiculous to have you drive all the way out there just to pick up your car."

"That's why I think they may try and question me. And I want to look around the property again. I know Pierson's other victims have got to be up there. The investigators have got to be missing something," she said sitting back against the pillows of the sofa, turning towards the door of her office.

"Okay, you're probably right. I can go up on Sunday if that works."

"That's fine. See you then." She hung up and sat in the dimly lit space staring at nothing really. Part of her did think she may need representation with her. But her bigger reason for asking Will to join her was that in the back of her mind she knew that if she had to be in that house and on the property again, she wanted someone with her who she trusted completely to handle any sticky situations that may arise.


	9. Evidence

Will and Alicia arrived at Pierson's property early Sunday afternoon. It had been a quiet drive up with Mark at the wheel. There had been little conversation after they'd left Will's apartment, since both were still trying to figure out what this new relationship was, how it worked, and what the "safe" topics of conversation were.

As they approached the house their thoughts were turned to the last time each one had stepped foot in the large home. They were greeted by federal agent Brian, who was in charge of the investigation. After a few minutes of casual chatting, he handed Alicia her car keys.

"Mrs. Florrick, since you're here, would you mind walking us through the events of that day?" Brian asked.

She turned to Will. He nodded his head in agreement. It seemed safe and logical for them to want a better picture of what had happened, and would hopefully prove that she had every reason to believe her life had been in danger that day.

She nodded her head moving further into the large formal living area. She proceeded to run through the events of that day. Will was admittedly as interested in what she would say as much, or even more so, than the other two men following along as Alicia led them through the house. She explained what had happened when she and Pierson had reached the house, and some of the conversation they'd had about the other women including Pierson's wife. When they moved to the office, Will was relieved to know that she'd been forced to do work during the long period between leaving the courthouse and the 911 calls, instead of what he'd feared.

He watched almost in amazement as she described the events with complete control. It was almost as if she were on autopilot. It was surprising even more, that when she led them upstairs to the master bedroom, where presumably Pierson had every intention of sleeping with her, that her tone and emotional disconnects remained intact. He understood better how the authorities may believe she had asked for some of this, despite what she had told them. Her tone would leave one to believe that she was describing a boring plot line of a book, instead of very scary personal circumstances. Will knew it was just her way of keeping control over the situation.

They walked back downstairs and into the kitchen where there were still pieces of shattered ceramic spread across the floor.

"Alicia, why did you come in here and try to escape through the back door? Why didn't you go out the front door, and back to your car? It was closer, and the keys were still in the ignition."

She looked at the investigator with a great amount of disdain. "I didn't know the keys were in the ignition. And unlike you, I'm not trained to know what to do when being pursued by someone with a gun. My only thoughts at that point were to try and get as far away from him as I could." She had used her "what are you, an idiot?" tone with him, and Will couldn't help but smile, and chuckle under his breath.

They continued outside and she showed them the spot where Pierson had caught up to her. She instinctively grabbed her bandaged wrist as she described the events that led up to their boat ride. When she'd finished she stood staring out at the calm waters.

"What happened once you were on the boat?" Brian asked. She skipped most of the conversation between her and Pierson, which consisted of his real reason for wanting to kill her. She told them about the wine, her jump into the water, and what she remembered up until she had slipped and tried to hide behind the tree. Her memories were sketchy of the events after that point.

"You remember him telling you about the drug he put in the wine, but you don't remember reaching for the gun and shooting him?"

She turned once again facing the agent. "I don't know where the gun was at that point. I don't know if or how I got a hold of that gun. I don't know if I fired I, if it went off by itself, or if he had it in his hand and I was able to force it in a different direction when he fired it. I was under the influence of a drug at that point. Maybe I did shoot him, maybe I didn't. But whatever you're thinking, that I pre-meditated this. That I planned to end his life that day is ridiculous." She moved closer to Brian. "He on the other hand, had every intention of ending my life." She turned back around, and began to walk down the path closer to the water.

Brian called after her. "Alicia, we're not saying you intended to kill him. We're just trying to get a better picture of what led up to his death. He had five bullets in him."

"That's probably enough questions for today," Will said. "Why don't you give her some space for a few minutes? We'll come back in before we leave." Brian nodded, and the two men left them alone. Will turned and watched her as she moved closer to the water. The light breeze gently blew through her hair, and the loose white tunic top she had on. He couldn't help but think she looked completely alone. Or maybe it was just that he sensed she felt completely alone. After a few moments he walked down the path and stood next to her at the water's edge.

"We searched this area for a few hours," he said, placing his hands in his pockets, cautiously moving a little closer to her.

"We?" she said, turning to look at him.

"Peter and I. The army of volunteers and emergency responders. They finally decided you'd both left by boat."

"Peter was here?"

"Yeah, for quite awhile. We searched together. Why is that such a surprise?"

"I guess I just figured he had stayed with Grace, and done what he could from Chicago." She shook her head. She still couldn't get over the idea of Peter and Will getting along. She wanted to question him more about how that had happened, but her attention was turned to the woodshed off in the distance. She began to walk around the cove towards the building. Will followed.

A few minutes later they stood in front of the worn down building. "Doesn't this seem out of place?" she asked, continuing to stare at the dilapidated building.

"Yes"

She walked to the door, reaching to pull it open. Somehow she expected to find something once inside. She didn't know what, but something. However, there wasn't anything but piles of chopped up wood, a few axes, and some other tools. Further in, there were some sand bags, presumably in case of flooding, and some rope. She walked around the small space taking it in, realizing that her curiosity would have to be satisfied with what she saw. There wasn't anything telling in the space.

On the way out however, something caught her eye. Lying in the corner was a cardboard tube. The kind one would place large posters in for shipping purposes. She reached for it pulling it from its resting place, and removed the contents.

L"What is it?" Will asked.

"Just a bunch of maps of the lake," she said, thumbing through the papers that lay before her. Will leaned over her shoulder as she continued to go through them.

"Hold on," he said, reaching for one of them. He pulled a few others out and placed them next to each other. Alicia didn't see what he had. "Look," he said, pointing to a few outlined spots on each of them. "He's highlighted the same areas on each one, and these aren't just area maps. There are a few lake surveys, lake depth maps, and water clarity and quality data maps."

"I don't understand, what does that matter?"

"I think you were right," he said, gathering the papers together.

"Right about what?"

He smiled at her. "Right about where the bodies are!"

"But they're not here," she said, shaking her head. "I was wrong."

"Come on, we need to go show these to Brian."

Once inside the house Will laid out the different maps. "I think Alicia was right. Pierson did dump the bodies in the lake, but not here. The water's to shallow, and he's crossed this cove, along with a dozen others off. He needed a cove, with deep water, and little use, so there would be less chance of the bodies being disturbed. I'm not certain, but by the looks of it, that cove where he took her last week is one of the ones he's highlighted. Search those waters, and I'll bet you'll find the bodies."

The few men looked from one to the other. "That's assuming there really are any bodies. Despite what Alicia has told us, we have no evidence to suggest he murdered any of them. Yes, they all worked for him, but what was his motive for killing them? What was his motive for trying to kill Alicia?"

Will looked at the men, and then to Alicia. They did have a point. She still hadn't given them any reason for Pierson to have wanted to kill any of them.

She could see the curiosity and slight doubt in Will's features as he turned and looked at her. But before she had a chance to answer, Brian continued.

"Alicia, was last week the first time you'd ever been at Mr. Pierson's home?"

"No, but why does that matter?"

"How many times have you been here?"

She looked questioningly to Will. "Once before, not long before the trial began. He invited me here to go over some contracts I was working on for him. Why?"

She watched as one man passed a pile of papers to Brian. "Were you having an affair with Mr. Pierson?"

She and Will were both speechless for a moment as his words sank in. She became agitated. "How dare you accuse me of having an affair with him. I was undeniably not having an affair with him. Why would you even suggest such a thing?"

"How do you explain this?" Brian handed the stapled papers to her.

"What is it?" Will asked, moving closer to Alicia so he could get a better look.

"Those are emails from Alicia to Mr. Pierson. Anyone who reads those would draw the same conclusion that I just have."

Alicia thumbed through the first few email horrified by their contents. "I... This isn't my email account!" she protested. "I never wrote any this, let alone seen it."

"The email account was traced back to the computer in your office. Do you really still want to deny these claims?"

"All right, that's enough," Will said, looking back up from the papers Alicia held. "As Alicia's attorney, I'm going to advise her to not answer any more of your questions. This is way out of line. If you want to question her further, either charge her with something and read her the Miranda rights, or we leave now. You can call my office to set up an appointment to question her formally, where the whole conversation can be recorded."

Brian put his hands up. "We don't want to charge Alicia with anything. We're just trying to get to the bottom of this."

Will moved closer to him. "The next time you want to question my client, call my office and make an appointment." He pulled out his business card and handed it to him. Then turned and followed Alicia out of the house.

Will drove Alicia's car. Mark followed behind them in the car they'd come in. Once again silence filled the car as Alicia continued to read through the stack of emails in disgusted disbelief. She glanced over to Will a few times who appeared to be focused on the road.

"Go ahead, ask the question," she said, after they were about twenty minutes from the property. He turned briefly and looked at her.

"I don't need too," he said, turning his attention back to the road.

"You're not the least bit curious? You don't have any doubt that this is all false? You're just going to believe everything I say? I saw the way you looked at me in there. You want to know the reason just as much as they do, and you figure you deserve to know since you're my attorney. Even if the reason is irrelevant to the fact of what he did, and what he attempted to do."

He sighed heavily. "Alicia, stop it with the lawyer business. I don't need to ask if you had an affair with him. I know you didn't. Not that I didn't believe it before I read some of those emails, but I know for sure after reading some of those emails. I've been the recipient of seductive emails from you, and those don't sound like you at all." He glanced over to her again. "Yes, I am curious as to why he did this, but if you say it's irrelevant, than it's irrelevant. I don't understand why not talking about the reason is such a big deal. He's dead, it doesn't matter what the reason was. But no one is going to be able to get you to talk about things you don't want to talk about."

She didn't say anything turning her attention back to the emails. When she got to one near the end dated just over two weeks earlier, her stomach turned. Not because of its contents, but because she remembered the events of that day all to well.

"Will, pull over."

"What? Why?" He turned to look at her again. Her complexion had turned pale.

"Just pull over, I'm going to be sick," she said with urgency. He pulled the car to the side of the road. She got out quickly and headed into the trees Will got out of the car to follow her.

"Everything okay?" Mark questioned getting out of the other car.

"Yes, she's just not feeling well." Will hurried into the trees to find her. Mark followed, but held back some.

He found her sitting against a large tree with her eyes closed, and sat down next to her. "You okay?"

"Yes, I just needed some air. That was all more difficult today than I thought it would be," she admitted, continuing to hold her eyes shut.

As he had felt many times in the past week, his desire to reach out and place a comforting hand to her seemed like the thing to do. But he resisted. They sat in silence for a few minutes before she spoke up.

"Why do you seem to be able to believe me, trust me, with all of this, when there's so much evidence to the contrary? I of all people, certainly don't deserve your trust after having betrayed it in the worst way?" She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Why do you still care? Aren't you still angry?" He looked at her briefly and then turned away.

"Yes, I am still angry, but it's not near the level it used to be. I'm guessing you're still angry too."

"I don't know. I don't know what I am anymore."

"Alicia, I'm tired of fighting that battle. This, me caring, me believing you, is a separate issue anyway. You're one of the most honest people I know. I know you well enough to know that you would have never brought any of this upon yourself."

They sat in silence for a few moments gathering their thoughts. "We need to talk about what happened nearly two years ago. If you're ready to have that discussion, then we should have the discussion, but I'd rather not do it out here near the highway while your bodyguard sits impatiently waiting for us."

Their eyes met. He thought he'd get a smile out of her after the bodyguard comment, but she continued to look at him, seriousness etched all over her features.

"You still care?" she said, with gentler eyes. She'd suspected it. But to hear him say it meant more.

"I never stopped caring," he said in all honestly. "Anger, bitterness, got in the way, but I never stopped caring." He looked away. "I don't think I'll ever stop caring."

"Do you think we'll ever be able to really forgive each other?" she asked.

"I don't know. But maybe after we hear each other's side of the story we'll feel differently."

She nodded her head up and down. "I'm not ready to have that discussion."

"Okay. But it's my turn to ask a question. Do you still care? There's obviously still some level of trust or I wouldn't be here. But do you really just view this as an attorney, client relationship?"

She inhaled deeply before responding. "I hope it's more than just a professional relationship. I would like for us to be able to consider ourselves friends again. Yes, I still care. I know I used to trust your judgment, and that's part of my reason for asking you to help me with all of this." She stood dusting off her jeans, and then looked down at him. "I don't trust anyone right now. I don't even trust myself right now Will. I'm alone right now."

He stood and moved to be in front of her. "You're not alone. Me, Peter, Cary, Diane. We're all ready and willing to support you."

"I realize that, I appreciate that. But when you don't trust anyone you're on your own, and that's the way it has to be right now. What none of you understand, what none of you can understand, is that John Pierson took everything from me, _everything_ ," she said in a whisper.

"And he continues to take more even as a dead man," she continued her tone rising again.

Will watched and listened as the anger rose in her features. He thought briefly that maybe this would be it. Maybe she would crack and let some of that built up anger out, so he didn't interrupt. But as quickly as the anger had risen, it disappeared.

"The only thing you need to know, is the reason he killed those other women, and tried to kill me, was because we didn't meet his expectations in the jobs he hired us for."

Will thought about this for a moment. "So it was about the case? You didn't win the case, and he decided it justified murder?" He turned slightly in disbelief, running his hands through his hair.

"Yes, more or less," she responded.

Will shook his head. "That guy really was psychopath."

"Yes"

He wanted to push her more on her trust issues. He didn't understand some of her comments, and he couldn't fully understand unless she was willing to divulge more. But he knew better than to push her.

"Will, I'm tired. I would really like to get back home, and I don't want to talk about it anymore. Thank you for everything today."

He turned back around to face her. "You're welcome. Let's go."

They were about ten minutes away from his apartment when her phone rang. He couldn't tell who was on the other end of the conversation, but he could tell it wasn't good news. She put her hand to her face when she hung up.

"Bad news?" he questioned.

"I need to go to my office. I'm having it re-painted. That was the painter. He wanted to know if I'd like him to leave a space in the wall for my security camera instead of it being nestled in my heating vent."

Will looked at her confused. "That seems like a reasonable and thoughtful question."

"We have security cameras throughout our offices, in all public areas, and the conference room." She looked at him raising her eyebrows. "I don't have a security camera in my office. _No one,_ has a security camera in their office."

 **A;N; Thank you all again! I'm sorry, but I just can't help making things worse. I promise we really are making progress with all of this!**


	10. Deception

**A/N; Thank you all again! Reviews have been insightful! TGW fans are as always the best!**

After getting to Alicia's office and seeing the hidden security camera herself, she had called Brian to come and look into it, despite their interactions a few hours earlier. Will had called Kalinda. He felt it was time to get someone on the case that would investigate with efficiency, an objective mind, and quite frankly, in Alicia's favor.

They all went to the security office to see if they could find the feed into Alicia's office. There wasn't one. It was at that point Alicia divulged Pierson had come to her office several times during the trial.

"Pierson was behind this hidden camera, he had to be," she said. They all listened as she told them about how he would come to her office every night after court, always late, and always when she was getting ready to leave for the night. She left out the details of all that had happened when he showed up. All except for the instance she had confronted him about always knowing when she was getting ready to leave for the night.  
 _  
"How is it that you always seem to show up when I'm getting ready to leave? Why don't you just follow me over here after court so we can have our little-discussions?" she said glaring at him from behind her desk. It was only four days into the trial, and she had realized this was going to be an unfortunate pattern._

 _He chuckled in the tone she'd grown to despise. "How is it that I know you called two clients from your cell phone today? That you sent Grace three text messages? That Eli wants to know if you can attend a fundraiser in four weeks with Peter, which if you don't win this case you won't be around for," he said with a snicker. "Should I continue?"_

 _She continued to hold eye contact with him, but was horrified to know he knew so much. "Let's not play the guessing game tonight. Why don't you just tell me," she said, with annoyance._

 _He moved from the chair he had been sitting in and sat in front of her on the corner of her desk. It made her uneasy when he got so close. "Alicia, I have to make sure you don't try to tell someone about our "arrangement". The only way for me to do that, is to know what calls you make, what email you send out, and what text messages you send. I've cloned your phone."_

 _She shook her head and stood backing up from him. "Do you realize how many laws you've broken by doing that?"_

 _"So sue me!" He said raising his brow._

 _"Do you have complete control? Or are you only able to read everything on my phone?"_

 _"Oh, I could make calls, send email, send messages if I wanted too, but I don't want too. I don't need to." He stood and moved in front of her placing a hand to her chin. "I know what you're thinking! That there must be some way to prevent me from doing this. Some app you can download that would block me from doing it. There is, but I'll know if you take those measures, and trust me, you don't want to take those measures. Now let's discuss your performance in court today."_

"Hold on," Will said interrupting Alicia. "There's the proof Alicia didn't send those emails to Pierson. He could have easily done it himself, from his phone."

"No, we checked Alicia's phone," Brian said.

"You checked my phone?" she said frustrated, placing her hands on her hips. She felt like her whole life was being exposed.

"Yes, the account the emails were sent from was never accessed from your phone, or his. Like I said earlier, we traced the account back to your office computer."

"Well maybe he had control of my computer as well. Did anyone think of that?"

"Alicia, it's only been in the past ten minutes that we knew he cloned your phone. We will look into the computer, but that would be nearly impossible to figure out without having the computer he would have used."

"This guy was watching me. He was paranoid I'd tell someone what he was up too. Figure out where that camera feed was streaming to." She shook her head and left the room to go back to her office.

Brian turned to Will. "You know she might be right, but she uses that same, even, "I could care less," tone every time we've talked to her. It isn't very convincing.

"Haven't you ever interviewed a victim who acts the same way Alicia has?" Will questioned.

"Yes. But none who have kept it up for so long that were found innocent."

"So you really believe she intended to kill Pierson?" Will couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I didn't say that. But I don't think she's innocent in everything that she claims went on. There a lot of holes in her recollection of events."

"We haven't even heard all of her _recollection of events,_ " Will was growing frustrated.

"No, which is why I want to question her. To get the whole story."

"Then set up an appointment," Will said sternly.

Kalinda interrupted the exchange. "If Pierson was watching her and if he always showed up when she was getting ready to leave, he had to have been in close proximity. In this building or in one of the surrounding buildings."

Everyone agreed. Kalinda suggested they look at video feed from other floors in the building around the time Pierson would have been on his way to Alicia's office. Will went to find Alicia so they could go home. Kalinda stayed behind to continue to investigate. They looked at tape for hours, but didn't find any evidence he had been anywhere else in the building other than on Alicia's floor. At least there was proof he'd come to her office regularly. But these late night meetings could be misconstrued as planned meetings between two lovers.

"You and Cary did well with the office space," Will said, as he pulled out of the parking garage and headed in the direction of his apartment.

Alicia sat staring out the passenger side window. She'd hardly said a word since they had left the security office. "Thanks"

"It has you written all over it!"

She turned and smiled at him. "You think?"

"Yes, it's modern and sophisticated with a touch of tradition."

She thought about it for a moment. The color pallet was something she'd chosen. With all the sharp edges in the space she realized now that she had added texture in subtle ways to soften it. "Yeah, I guess your right."

They pulled up to Will's apartment and he turned to her. "You did good Alicia."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I'm impressed with the firm you've built in the past year and a half. It takes long hours, and hard work. I don't know, being there today, actually seeing the progress it's... impressive." She continued to stare into his eyes. There was real sincerity in them. She knew how difficult it must have been for him to admit this.

"Thank you," She waited for him to get out, but he didn't move.

"How about if we agree to stop fighting over clients? No more poaching," he said.

"You'll agree to stop trying to take Chumhum back?" she said, with a questioning eye.

"Yes, if you agree to stop trying to poach Reese Dipple from Diane."

Alicia chuckled. "Agreed. I still can't figure out why Diane would agree to represent his clients."

"It's all about the money!" he said, opening the door to get out.

"Yep, it always is."

* * *

Near the end of the week Alicia had put her office back together and gotten back to work. Having the distraction of work had been good. It had almost felt like "normal" again, if there was such a thing. Meeting with clients, working with Cary to get a case ready for trial had provided her mind with something to think about other than the past two months of her life. Even better she hadn't had to discuss that part of her life with anyone over the previous days.

Grace had gone on the campaign trail with Peter for a week. Unlike his previous trips, Alicia had spoken with him every night. Even if it were just to see how Grace was, or how his many speeches of the day had gone. She had to admit that talking with him over the phone was easier than in person.

The authorities hadn't been able to locate any place where Pierson may have been watching her from. His office and home computers had shown nothing. Kalinda continued to keep tabs on the investigation, and did some digging into Pierson herself. The appointment to question Alicia about all that pertained to the case and the circumstances that she claimed led to his death had been set for the following week. They had asked that Will, Diane, and Cary all join them since they had all been involved in the case. The four had decided to meet a few days before beforehand to go over a few minor points.

Cary and Alicia stepped off the elevator at Lockhart Gardner and headed for Will and Diane's offices. As they approached Alicia recognized the man sitting in Diane's office. It was one of her client's. She turned and looked into Will's office feeling anger arise. It had been less a week since they had agreed to stop poaching clients, yet here one of her client's was sitting in a meeting with Diane and Julius.

"Cary, is that Rick Newton?" she said, getting Cary's attention and pointing to Diane's office. Just then the man in question stood and turned to leave Diane's office, shaking hands with Diane and Julius.

"Yes" Cary responded.

"Alicia, Cary, good to see you," Rick said, as he exited Diane's office.

"You too," Cary said holding out his hand to shake Rick's. "What are you doing here?"

Alicia blocked out the rest of the conversation as she walked over to Will's office and opened the door.

"I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got work to get too," Rick said. Then turned and left down the hall. Diane came out of her office as Alicia entered Will's.

Will looked up as she entered, surprised at the anger in her features.

"What's wrong?" he said calmly, standing and moving out from behind his desk to approach her.

"What's wrong?" she said, immediately raising her voice as Diane and Cary entered the room. "Are you really going to play dumb here Will?"

He was taken aback at her anger having no idea what she was talking about. It had been a long week for him and he didn't appreciate her coming into his office and accusing him of only who knew what.

"Help me out here Alicia, I don't know what you're talking about." he said, moving closer to her. She backed up as he approached.

"He's my client Will. _My client_. Yet here he is in your offices having a meeting with Diane."

He began to understand. "Alicia, it's not,"

She cut him off. "Did you say all of that last weekend just to make me feel good? Pretend you care. Pretend we weren't going to fight over work anymore because you thought I trusted you enough to take you up there with me?" Her voice continued at an elevated tone.

The comment stung. He'd done everything he could to support her over the past weeks, yet it seemed like she was willing to disregard all of it with the drop of a coin. The situation put him on the defensive as well.

"Alicia, listen to me. This isn't." His tone had risen to meet hers. She cut him off again. "Did you really think I wouldn't figure out that you were still trying to poach my clients?"

He didn't appreciate being interrupted, and the fact that she wouldn't even listen pushed his buttons the wrong way. It was just like it had been during the trial, and that was a problem. This argument reminded him of the trial and her seemingly ridiculous outbursts during those few weeks.

"Alicia, I meant everything I said on Sunday." He stepped closer. She backed up even more making contact with the wall behind her.

"Why should I believe you? Give me one reason to trust you. You've been doing this for nearly two years now!" she spat back, her eyes boring into his. Her comments from the weekend about trust were temporarily forgotten.

He reached out and took her arm. "How about last Sunday for starters. I went with you. I put an end to the questioning." They both paused, He to gather his thoughts, she due to the rush of fear that had struck her when he grabbed her arm.

"I meant every word I said. I'm not stealing any of your clients. If you'd stop and listen for five seconds you'd realize that!"

She tried to pull away from him, but he held tighter seemingly oblivious to her body language. "I don't have to ask, my client was here sitting in Diane's office, laughing, shaking hands with her and Julius."

Diane and Cary continued to watch the exchange. Cary would have been concerned as to the reasons why their client had been there as well, but Diane had cleared that up for him just moments before. Now they were both concerned with Alicia's body language, and the look of fear on her face.

"I'm glad to see you held everything I said last week with so much weight." He was inches from her face, she looked terrified, but didn't back down.

"You seemed so sincere, I can't believe I fell for all of that again," she countered. Cary and Diane both watched as her hand tried to grip onto something for support, but there wasn't anything for her to grab a hold of. Her loose arm began to tremble.

"I was sincere. That man _, your client,_ that Diane was meeting with, is a witness for a case she is working on. I had no idea he was a client of yours. You need to calm down and listen to me!" He raised a finger to her. She again tried to pull from his grasp. In the heat of the argument he hadn't realized how frightened he was making her.

"Will, let go," Diane said with urgency. He ignored her, or didn't hear. Alicia started to turn pale.

"Calm down? You're the one that needs to calm down!" She tried to pull her arm from him again.

"Will," Diane said again, louder to get his attention. He turned to her.

"What?"

"Let go!" she said, placing a hand to his arm, looking over to Alicia. He turned to Alicia now recognizing the fear in her. Just then Mark entered the room.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to take your hands off of her."

Alicia seemed frozen against the wall briefly, as all eyes turned to her. No one said anything, just watched as Will loosened his grasp, and she yanked her arm from him.

"Alicia, I'm sorry," he said, as she hurried around him and headed out the door.

He followed after her. "Alicia, wait," he said, as they reached the elevators. He reached for her again, but immediately pulled his hand back as she turned to look at him. She wanted nothing more than to get on the elevator, but she felt dizzy, and her stomach was nauseous. She went around him again heading for the ladies room. Will sighed heavily running his hands through his hair.

She leaned against the cold tiled wall of the restroom with her eyes closed and her hand to her stomach. This was ridiculous, the whole thing had been ridiculous, and she knew it was her fault. She'd managed to keep her emotions under control, managed to ignore the anger for weeks, but she had snapped briefly, and Will had played right into it. He hadn't even held onto her very tightly. But when he had a hold of her, it reminded her of all the times when Pierson had grabbed her arm and not let her go.

In the back of her mind she knew Will would never hurt her, he'd never even think about hurting her, but the incident made her uneasy. She also knew she should apologize. She'd accused him without knowing all the facts. But then she rationalized that she didn't need to know all the facts. Pierson accused her all the time without knowing all the facts and Will was the one who'd grabbed her and wouldn't let go. She had spent so much time in the past few months putting up a front to stay sane, trying to believe that none of this was her fault, that it had become a part of her. The scary thing at this particular moment, was that she didn't know if she could ever go back. She'd let her defenses down, she'd let Will back into her life. Standing there with her eyes closed she wondered if that had really been the right thing to do. Ten minutes later after she'd pulled herself back together she emerged from the restroom, and went back to Will's office where Kalinda had joined the others.

She and Will made immediate eye contact, but didn't say anything.

"You okay?" Cary asked hesitantly.

"Fine, what's going on?"

"They found the place where Pierson was surveying you from," Kalinda said.

This was not what she was expecting to hear. "Good, where is it?"

"He rented an office under a different name from the tech company that leases space just below your office. Pierson's office was just two floors below yours."

"Good, so they found the computer he was using?"

"Yeah," Kalinda hesitated.

"And they found something else?" Alicia questioned.

"Yeah, let's just say I don't think there's any doubt that Pierson had been keeping tabs on you."

"Kalinda, can we just skip the dramatics? What did they find? I have work to get back to."

"It's difficult to describe, you really have to see it to understand."

Alicia sighed. "Fine, I'm going back to the office now. We can have our meeting next week before the FBI gets here. I'll check it out on my way back."

Kalinda didn't know if this was such a good idea after hearing what had transpired just a fifteen minutes earlier. "Yeah, okay, but it might be smart to take Cary, or Diane, or… Will with you."

"Sure, let's make it a party. My whole life is an open book these days anyway." She sighed rolling her eyes, then turned exiting Will's office.

"Diane you go. I don't trust the guys on this investigation, and she should probably have representation with her," Will said.

"No, you should go," Kalinda said. "Or you should both go. It's hard to know how she'll react when she sees this. And Will, I think you'll be interested to see this as well, since I think it involves you."

Diane and Will both looked at her with questioning eyes. "What do you mean it involves me?"

"I'm pretty sure this whole thing wasn't just about Alicia needing to win that case."

"How do you figure? That's what Alicia told me it was about." Will said standing.

"I don't know yet, but from the looks of it, Pierson knew a great deal about you too."

He sighed, and looked over to Diane. it had been a long day, and apparently it was about to get longer.


	11. The Art of Being Stalked

Alicia stood motionless briefly, when she and the others entered the small office space just two floors below her own. If she thought she knew what it had felt like to be stalked by John Pierson before, this was in a whole new league. She placed a hand to her chest, barely breathing, as she walked the length of the office in stunned silence. It looked like what she would have imagined a well organized CIA investigation room to look like. A few computers, files sorted and clearly marked set out on the desk, and two drawer filing cabinets along the wall. But it was the upper half of that wall that had everyone's undivided attention.

The wall that ran the length of the room was covered in photos, notes, news, and magazine articles. It was like looking at a collage of her life over the past several years. She didn't think that even she could re-create her life over the past years so well. The truly scary thing was that she recognized nearly all of the photos of her family and colleagues. However, most of the photos that were single images of her, she'd never seen before.

She sat in a chair and stared at the wall for a few moments. Everyone remained quiet. So overwhelmed by her own image on display like this, she had failed to pay notice to the portion of the wall that seemed dedicated only to Will. He moved around her to get a better look.

"So what is this?" she asked. Not because she didn't know, but because it seemed like the thing to ask. Not wanting to fully process the significance of what surrounded her, she reverted to what she knew well. Asking questions as a lawyer, instead of a victim.

"We'd like to call it a crime scene, but we haven't sifted through everything yet. We aren't even sure this office was used by Mr. Pierson. The cleaning staff had a new employee come on that didn't know she wasn't supposed to come in here. The company alerted police in the middle of the night," Brian said.

"What do you mean you don't know if this was Pierson's office?" Diane asked in disbelief, before Will, Cary, or Alicia had a chance.

"It's not what you think. We are assuming this was Pierson's office. We will pull fingerprints and I'm sure they'll match up. We found copies of different feeds from Alicia's office, and the security camera down the hall had been turned at an angle so that one could avoid being caught on tape. We are sifting through the information on the computers right now. We know one thing for sure, that Alicia was definitely being watched.

"Good. How long until you can identify the fingerprints?" Alicia asked.

"By the end of the day."

"What have you found?" Alicia stood and faced Brian. "Other than the obvious."

"Copies of transcripts, from what we can tell, are nearly every trial you've been a part of in the past several years. There appears to be a file on every one of your close family members, and closest colleagues. There are copies of taped interviews you've done for Peter over the years, and of ones you did last year for your own campaign. We just found a file that contained what looks to be lists of your favorite things, flowers, food, wine, etcetera. We have no doubt that the person who sat at that desk was watching you, and was very interested in what you did on a day to day basis. But what we'd like to know is why the reason for all of this? And why the extensive notes on Mr. Gardner?"

Alicia peered over to Will briefly.

"What do you mean "extensive notes" on me?" Will asked, with raised brow. He was beginning to understand why Kalinda had insisted he come see this. It was unnerving, to say the least, to see your face plastered all over what looked like a wall from a crime scene.

"As I said, there is a file on everyone close to Alicia. But we've only found one file for each of those individuals. However, as in Alicia's case, there are transcripts of your trials. There are more photos of you than anyone, other than Alicia, and a short list of a few personal things, the cologne you wear, drinks you ordered at bars, restaurants you frequent, and…" He looked nervously from Will to Alicia.

Will sighed. "And what?"

"There is a hard copy of the emails exchanged between the two of you from a few years back, covered in handwritten notes." He turned to Alicia. "And they aren't just the ones that were leaked to the press last year."

Alicia sighed and turned away from him, peering back at the wall. "Alicia, do you know why Mr. Pierson would have been so interested in Will? Is there more to his involvement in this than the fact that he was opposing council on this case that you claim is the reason Pierson tried to kill you?"

"Yes," she responded, turning as she gained eye contact again with Will. She knew the reason for all the personal notes on him, but she wasn't about to tell anyone the reason.

"Could you shed some light for the rest of us?" Brian asked.

Her eyes fell on Brian again. "Did you find any information on the missing women in here? Have you found their bodies yet?"

"Alicia, stop this," Will said, more sternly than he intended. "Why did this guy have such an interest in me?" He moved closer to her. "I have the right to know," he said calmly.

She stared at him for a moment. Why was she so nervous about telling him the truth? Certainly he wouldn't blame her. No harm had come to him. But harm had come to her because of it. Why was it so difficult for her to just tell him that Pierson had done this because she had an affair with him, and that Pierson had used that relationship as a weapon during the trial? Why? Because despite everything, her anger, her scattered thoughts, her mistrust, she didn't want to hurt him again.

"I'm happy to give all of you the details you need next week when we meet. But I'm not going to do this here, not right now." She turned to leave the room.

Will sighed and turned away. He wanted to confront her about this, make her tell him the truth. But he knew if he tried right now, especially in front of everyone, that it would just end up in a bitter argument.

As she moved towards the door, her purse brushed against a stack of papers on one of the filing cabinets, causing them to fall to the floor. She turned and bent to pick them up. Cary bent down to help her. As she went to put them back in place she stopped, and reached for the file that had been hidden underneath them.

She shook her head and held it up. "At least I know I'm not crazy. Here's your proof this was Pierson's office. This is my file on him." She moved closer to Brian. "The one no one could locate. Tell me something, did Pierson leave this here, or have you had it in your possession all along?" she said, in a calm accusing tone. Everyone's attention was on her again.

"Alicia, I haven't even seen that file before now." He reached for it, but she pulled it out of his reach and backed up.

"Pierson set me up so that he could get away with murder. Either that or someone else is trying to set me up now. Get a search-warrant if you want to look at the contents of this file." She turned and headed for the door again.

"Alicia, you can't take that, its evidence."

"Then arrest me," she said, as she exited the room, file in hand. Cary followed after her.

"Is it true? Have you had that file all along?" Will said, moving closer to Brian.

"No, whoever was watching her,"

"Pierson" Will cut in.

"If Pierson had been watching her that night, he could have easily gone to her office and taken the file after she left. Look, the contents of this room couldn't have been pulled together over a period of a few weeks, unless you were the FBI. Even then it would be a stretch. For an average person to have gathered this much information it would have taken a long period. Honestly, I don't see how one person could have gathered so much information on their own, unless they'd been working on it for months. I only say that because of all the personal information about her that's here. It would have been a full time job to follow her around and gather so much information. You know as well as I do, that Mr. Pierson was a busy man. He wouldn't have had time to gather all of this on his own. If that's the case, her life may still be in danger. We still don't know what the alternative motive for her attempted murder was, other than the case because she's been so tight lipped."

"So you don't suspect her as having an affair with him, or having premeditated his murder anymore?" Will asked.

"Mr. Gardner, I'm not convinced of anything yet. I don't have enough evidence, or information to give an honest opinion at this point. We will continue to investigate all aspects of this case until we get to the bottom of it. But in the meantime, until I'm convinced Pierson was working on his own, I'm going to call the Governor and tell him that I think it's absolutely essential that Alicia continue to have twenty-four hour security with her."

"Brian," the agent sitting at the computer interrupted. Both Brian and Will turned to him. "Here's your proof someone may have been working with Mr. Pierson." Everyone went and stood behind the computer to get a better look.

"This computer was logged onto and accessed, a few days after Mr. Pierson was killed. There appear to be a number of files that were deleted from it that same day"

Will and Diane both looked at each other. "So who is going to tell Alicia?" Diane said, as Will turned and ran a hand through his hair. The thought that she might still be in some kind of danger was definitely unsettling.

* * *

A few hours later, Mike was sitting in Alicia's office.

"I'll file the appeal first thing Monday," she said, after Mike had signed the correct forms.

"Great, thank you so much Alicia! And again, I can't express enough, how sorry I am for all that happened."

She disliked these types of awkward conversations. "Thank you!" She smiled politely.

"Can I ask you something?" he questioned hesitantly, moving to the edge of the chair he was sitting in.

"Sure"

"I hate to bring this up, and don't feel like you have to answer if you don't want to."

She was puzzled at his hesitation, but couldn't get over how so many of his mannerisms were like Pierson's. Soft spoken, gentle yet blunt at the same time.

"I realize my brother was horrible to you. I know that what he did… what he tried to do, can never be excused. But I guess I've been wondering…" He looked away from her. She had no idea where this was headed.

"Mike, just spit it out. I can handle it."

"I loved him. He was my brother… I just… Do you know if he suffered? I mean, did it take long for him to die after he was shot?"

She frowned. _What do mean did he suffer? I'm the one who was attacked. I'm the one that suffered._ She couldn't believe he would even have the nerve to ask. But before she answered she did recall his personality to mind. She almost felt sorry for him. He seemed to let people walk over him at times. She knew him well enough, she thought, to know that this had probably genuinely bothered him.

"I… Mike, I don't know."

"But you were there?"

"Yes, but I was under the influence of drugs. I don't have any recollection of what happened in the minutes before he was shot."

He didn't seem upset, just sad over her response. It seemed as though he wanted to say more, but he just stood and held out his hand. "Thank you, Alicia. And again I really am sorry."

She nodded her head, shook his hand and he left. She moved to the sofa and sat, contemplating the conversation they had just had. She slipped her heals off and put her feet up. She used to love to sit in that very spot, and watch the sunset. She was lost in thought as another knock came to her door.

"Come in." She didn't even look over to see who it was, assuming it was either Cary, or her assistant. She was surprised when she turned to find Will standing at the door. She wasn't sure if she was ready for her thoughts to be interrupted by him.

"You have quite the view from here?" He moved further into the office.

"Yes, there are advantages to running your own firm… the corner office!" She stood and went to stand by him. They both peered out the large windows.

"Great views of the sunset! I seem to remember them being one of your favorite things."

She glanced at the fading light behind the Chicago skyline. "Yes, I used to love this time of day when the sun set. It used to mean that the day was coming to an end. That I could go home, or have a good excuse to slow down."

He turned and looked at her as the fading sun hit her skin and made it glow. Yet at the same time, it seemed to take the life right out of her.

"I don't like sunsets anymore. Now all it brings is the night. And nothing ever good happens in the darkness of the night anymore."

"The office looks good! Put back together I mean." His hands were in his pockets, and she guessed he'd long since lost the suit coat, especially with the heat of the summer.

"Will, why are you here? You didn't come back over here to compliment me on my office."

"We need to talk about a few things." He waited for her to respond.

"About earlier?"

"Yes, that, and… some other things." He turned to fully face her. She folded her arms and turned away moving back to the sofa.

"What if I don't want too?"

"I'm afraid you may not have a choice in listening to some of the information I have to tell you."

She rolled her eyes, and looked away. She was definitely not in the mood to have a long discussion, no matter what he thought she needed to know.


	12. A Partial Explanation

**A/N Thank you for the new follows this past week! I had a bit of extra time the last week so was able to get this written. A big thanks to my super fast beta K. I realize there is a lot going on in this. Things will start pulling together in the next chapters. Please let me know if there is any confusion on specific plot lines so I can clarify! This chapter picks up right where the last one left off.**

Will was determined to get Alicia to talk with him. It seemed like every time they were together in the past weeks there ended up being more questions brought up than answers. He wondered if she'd been forthcoming with Peter over the past weeks, but he doubted it. He knew the relationship was strained. Even Cary had mentioned things were a bit off with Alicia. He said that when she had come back to work it had seemed like business as usual. But Cary knew her well enough to notice her distant looks in the middle of depositions, and her mild over-reactions to things that hadn't bothered her before.

Will sat on the sofa opposite of her before he continued their conversation. "I'm sorry about what happened in my office earlier. I got carried away. But you know I would never hurt you, right?"

She shifted her gaze back to him and sighed. "Yes, I over-reacted too. But you should have never grabbed onto my arm like you did."

"Because that's what he did?" He watched as she grew uncomfortable, shifting her position.

"Will, please…" She looked down briefly biting her lower lip. What Pierson had done to her was at the root of the problem. Some of the specifics of what he had done to her she swore she would never tell another soul. She knew Will would try to push this, especially after her reaction to him earlier in the day. She had to decide right then, how much she would be willing to tell him, because she was worried that if he got her talking she may end up saying to much, or more than she wanted to.

"Alicia, I'm not blind. That wasn't the first time in the past month you've looked terrified if I got too close to you."

She looked back up to him. "It isn't just you. Ask anyone who has tried to get within a few feet of me lately." She inhaled, stood and moved a few feet to stand in front of her desk. "Will, I don't know if I can talk about what he did right now."

"Don't you think it would be better to talk about it now with me? Rather than talking about it for the first time next week, surrounded by a group of people? If I know what he did, I can help guide the conversation next week. Make it easier for you."

He had a point. Although she wasn't sure how many of the details she would be willing to give the following week. "Do you really want to know? Is it really important?"

"Why would talking about something that has had such an impact on your life, not be important? And yes, I do want to know. Because I meant it when I said I still cared."

"Maybe it doesn't matter because it was only two and a half weeks of hell. Women live for years in abusive relationships. I don't understand why something that occurred over such a short period of time has had such an impact on me. I should be able to accept the fact that it happened and move on."

"Do you really believe it shouldn't have an effect on you because it was only a short period of time?"

"No, but I should be able to face confrontation without completely falling apart. Cary should be able to come up behind me to hand me a file without my entire body getting jittery. I can't control this, and I don't know why. Pierson is dead. There is no longer a chance that he will walk through that door and…" Her eyes moved to the door and she pursed her lips.

His eyes moved to the door as well. Why had he agreed to be the one to tell her that her life may not be out of danger yet? He'd bring that up later. He felt like they were on the verge of progress, and he didn't want to ruin it. "Tell me what he did, other than try to kill you. Which by the way, that alone counts as a significant traumatic event. Let's see if it warrants your feelings or not. I'm willing to bet that it does."

Her eyes moved back to his. He stood and moved a few feet closer to her. "Alicia, maybe you just need to talk about it and stop holding the trauma inside. At some point you have to rebuild your trust in someone. I may not deserve it. I may never regain your trust. But I'd like a chance to try."

Maybe it was the fact that he admitted he didn't deserve her trust that eased her conscience. Maybe it was that subconsciously she knew she could trust him. Or maybe it was simply that looking into his dark brown eyes still had an effect on her. She decided if nothing else it was safe to fill him in on some of the details.

"He came here regularly." Will nodded his head in acknowledgement. She leaned against her desk.

"My desk used to be over there." She pointed to the opposite corner of the room where there now sat some bookcases, and a small conference table.. "He'd sit in that chair." She pointed to the one that sat in front of her desk. "We'd have our _discussions,_ as he liked to call them. If he had been in court on any given day it was easier for him to point out what he thought I'd done wrong, or right. If he hadn't been in court, he'd want me to give him a detailed rundown of events."

"How would he even know if you'd presented a good case? He wasn't a lawyer."

She chuckled. "That wouldn't have mattered to him, but he was actually a lawyer."

"What?" Will narrowed his eyes in disbelief.

"He'd been trained as one anyway, and passed the bar. The law didn't suit him. At least that's what he told me when I asked why he wasn't the one defending his partner. He liked venture capital and the tech industry better. Pierson was one of those people who needed little sleep, and had five degrees behind his name. He didn't earn those degrees from local colleges either. MIT, Princeton, and I think Dartmouth, although I'd have to look at my notes to be sure."

Will shook his head, and moved a little closer. "The meetings weren't always civil?"

She bit her lower lip and inhaled through her nose. "No, if he got upset he'd make his way to sitting on the corner of my desk. I'd move back or stand up to get him out of my personal space. As you know, I'm not exactly shy of sharing my opinion when it comes to the law."

"No," he said, with a slight chuckle. "That's part of what makes you such a good lawyer!" He noticed how she gripped onto the edge of her desk that was now supporting her full standing weight.

"He didn't appreciate my non-subtle responses to his ridiculous points."

"So he grabbed you, yelled at you, like I did earlier today?"

"Yes, if it was a good day."

"And if it wasn't?"

Her mind was spinning. Even thinking about those dark, late night encounters put her on edge. She looked down and he moved towards her again. Before he reached her she put her hand up and moved away to the other side of the room, giving herself enough time to regain control of the lump that was forming in her throat before turning to face him again.

"I never backed down to him. Maybe if I would have, or agreed to some of his strategy, things would have been different. But I didn't want him to think I could be easily persuaded. I thought he'd see that, and realize I was trying to use that in my court room strategy. But he hated the fact that I would stand up to him. So if he didn't like my attitude, or if I'd gone off on him, he knew exactly how hard he could slap me across the face to make it hurt, but not bruise. He knew how tightly he could grip my arms and push me up against the bookcase, or the wall to make me wince in pain, and cause bruising along my back, but not break anything."

"Everyday?" He shook his head again appalled, trying to process how she'd managed to hold it together without so much as a peep through that time. He could barely stand the thought of someone doing those things to her. Yet, she had stood up to him. She was definitely the strongest and bravest woman he knew.

"No not everyday, just most days. There were days he thought I'd done well, and used everything he thought I should against you…" She paused, she knew what that meant, and she hadn't meant to bring him into it specifically, but she just had.

"He found me… attractive."

Will locked eyes with her. "Attractive?" He leaned against her desk. He wanted to ask her exactly what Pierson expected her to use against him, but he was more curious about the attacks.

"When I'd done what he considered… well in court, his advances were different, because it… turned him on I guess." She sighed rolling her eyes.

"Alicia, did he,"

She cut him off. "He'd stand in from of me. Run his hand under my chin, or along my cheek bone. He'd run his hands along my torso." She turned away wrapping her arms across her chest. Her tears were to close to the surface. Why had she ever let Will get her into this discussion? _  
_

He cautiously moved towards her placing his hands on her shoulders in an effort to comfort her. She tensed briefly, but relaxed after a few moments. Part of her yearned for someone's gentle touch to comfort, and help support her. She'd allowed the kids to hug her. She'd allowed Peter to kiss the top of her head and hold her hand in the hospital, but that was all the physical contact she'd allowed anyone. It was different to have Will's gentle touch on her shoulders and to be so near she could feel his body heat. However, the part of her that wanted no physical contact at all was still stronger. After a moment, she pulled away and turned to look at him. He looked a little disappointed.

"He thought, or he wanted to think, that I had feelings for him, despite what he was doing. He wasn't completely at fault in assuming that. He was attractive. Peter and I were… are having issues. I was more than happy to meet him at his home for lunch a week before the trial. We worked, but I didn't put a stop to his flirtations when he offered to take me out on his boat. We had a good afternoon together. But nothing happened between us, I wouldn't allow it."

If this had been meant to ease his feelings about the way Pierson had treated her, it hadn't worked.

"Okay, but he still… touched you, ran his hands along your body without your consent. He still…"

She could see the regret, disgust, and pain in his eyes. "Beat me" She said the words out loud before he could.

"Yes"

She could tell he wanted to say more. Ask more questions, but she was growing increasingly uncomfortable with the whole conversation. "Will, can we just leave it at that for tonight? Now you have a better picture. You don't need to spend your evening hearing about my problems. You apologized. I accept."

"Alicia, your _problems_ in those weeks were apparently my problems as well, and I didn't even know it. I want to be here. If you don't want to tell me more about those encounters right now, then fine. But I want to know why there is more information in that room on me, your former enemy, than anyone else you know."

She sat back down on the sofa as the reality of what they'd both seen earlier moved to the forefront of her mind once again.

"So why did he do it? And I want to know the real reason."

"The case was the real reason, just not the whole reason."

"Then tell me the whole reason."

"No," she shook her head.

He was growing frustrated. "Why? Was this somehow my fault? If it was, I want the chance to fix it, make things right again."

"Fix it!" Her tone rose slightly. "None of this can be fixed. You were the stubborn one during the trial. That night I came to your office, why wouldn't you just call your client? You saw the bruises. Why didn't you come after me when I left, if you were so concerned?" A few tears fell from her eyes. She stood and turned away from him wiping away the tears. "He was waiting for me in your parking garage. Why did you have to be so stubborn, so bitter?"

His sense of guilt set in again. Maybe he really could have prevented some of the awful things that had happened to her. "So it was my fault? He told you to win the case, and if I would have backed down, settled the case, he would have left you alone the following day?" He went to stand next to her. She glanced over at him.

"No! He had every intention of killing me no matter the result of the trial. And it was my fault, not yours."

"Why?" He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, but remained calm. "I don't understand why he had all that information on me, or on you for that matter. He must have been obsessed with you."

"Obsessed, infatuated, jealous, possessive, you name it. The list is a mile long. He needed to know how I would argue in court, how you would argue in court. He wanted to know what buttons I could push to get you to back down, and what ones he thought you would use."

"Okay, but that doesn't explain all the personal information."

She sighed. She couldn't avoid some of this anymore. "Do you really want to know the real reason?"

"Yes"

She moved to the sofa, and motioned for him to sit as well. She pulled out her file on Pierson, and began removing some of its contents while she spoke. "He was angry. His wife cheated on him ten years ago." She spread out photos of Pierson's wife, and the other four women who he'd killed. "He killed her because of it, made it look like a suicide. The other women he killed all worked for him. But they all had something else in common." She looked at him holding eye contact. "They all cheated on their husbands, committing the worst sin in his mind." She continued to hold his gaze. "I cheated on my husband."

He broke her gaze and leant back into the cushions. The reality of what she had said sinking in. "With me."

"Yes, but it was a game for him. The women had to cheat twice. So he would flirt with them, pretend to be in love with them, and after they slept with him, cheating on their husbands a second time, he killed them."

He returned his gaze to hers with furrowed brow. "So you did sleep with him?"

"No, he couldn't push me to the other side because he realized…" She looked back down at the photos on the table.

"Realized what?"

"It doesn't matter. He had done his research on you due to the affair. And when he realized you were the attorney on Maddie's case, he figured I could use our relationship to get Mike off. And if I couldn't he had something to hold over my head."

Will sighed leaning forward placing his elbows to his knees. "It was my fault Alicia."

"No, I'm the one who cheated, the one who committed infidelity."

"Alicia"

"Will, I really can't do more of this tonight." She was holding back. There had been specific reasons Pierson needed to know some of the personal things he knew about Will, but she wasn't willing to tell him. She'd already told him more than she'd planned.

"Now you know the reason. Let's just leave it at that for tonight."

He didn't respond at first. There was too much spinning around in his mind. "Okay, but there is something else I have to tell you."

He filled her in on the possible threat to her life that was still out there, and the precautions that were being taken. And then he'd left without saying much more.

She sat back against the soft cushions and closed her eyes. It made her nervous to think someone had been helping Pierson. She was made even more uncomfortable by Will's mannerisms after the last part of their conversation on Pierson. He became distant, something he hadn't been since she was found, and she didn't like it. A dose of her own medicine she supposed. She'd spent the last month being distant, avoiding him, avoiding everyone. But deep down she'd begun to value his presence in her life again. She was still angry, she was still keeping things from him, from everyone. But she hoped she hadn't just ruined any chance of actual reconciliation between them. Because once the questioning began the following week, she knew it had the potential to turn ugly. For them to go into that on shakier ground than they would have a few hours prior, could be a recipe for disaster. She sighed heavily thinking this was like the aftermath of a personal war, picking up all the pieces and trying to make a life out of it again. The problem was that the real bomb hadn't even gone off yet, and she hoped to keep it that way.


	13. Will, Peter, and Alicia

It had been a good evening, even though it had gotten off to a late start. Alicia was putting the last of the dinner dishes into the dishwasher. Peter and Grace were sat at the bar filling her in on their road trip from the previous week. Grace seemed just as enthusiastic about the campaign as Peter was. It was still very early in the race to make any real predictions, but Peter had managed to keep up with his popular counterparts in recent poles. With more exposure in the recent weeks, and Peter's well thought out stances on burning issues around the country, the Florrick name was gaining more popularity and support every day.

"What do you think it will be like to live in the White house?" Grace enthusiastically grinned at her parents.

"Don't get a head of yourself Grace! It's a long road to the White House!" Peter chuckled and glanced at Alicia who pursed her lips into a frown.

"Do you think it's like living in a hotel? You can order what ever food you want, when you want. You can sleep in beds with plush duvets and a million pillows every night? I bet Mom will have someone to do her hair and make-up everyday!" She looked at Alicia in envy.

Alicia smiled at her. "That may all sound fun Grace, but there are down sides to having a full time staff at your disposal. I for one am not looking forward to the lack of privacy, and the inability to go where I want, whenever I want before clearing it with the secret service. If your father becomes President it will not be like a luxurious family vacation. He'll be busy nearly every hour of the day. And you'll be away at college anyway." She didn't mean to sound so negative. She knew how much Peter wanted this.

"I know, but it will be like a vacation when Zach and I come home to visit! Don't you think it would be fun to be the "First Lady" of the country? It's like being queen!"

Alicia sighed and smiled placing the dishtowel on the counter. "It would be fun to be able to push an agenda that included issues I'm concerned about. But Grace, I'd have to quit working." She raised a brow. "And I like working!"

"But mom, think of all the opportunities you'll have to wear fancy dresses!"

Alicia rolled her eyes. "You know as well as anyone, how much I dislike all the fancy parties. It's fun to get dressed up sometimes, but after about thirty minutes of talking with people who are at an event just to get you to support their cause… it gets old."

"So you don't want to be First Lady?" Peter asked, with raised brow. Of course he knew the answer, but he wanted to see what she'd say in front of Grace.

"I didn't say that. There are up-sides to having so much power, even if it's just as the President's wife. And I think you would make an excellent President. I'm just trying to keep our daughters expectations in check." The truth was it made her tired even thinking about all that would be expected of her. She could handle it with grace and ease, but she didn't know that she wanted to. There was the other side of the issue as well. She would have to continue to pretend she and Peter were happily married in front of the entire world. They loved each other, but it wasn't an enduring love. When it came right down to it, she really didn't want to be stuck in a marriage and place that wouldn't make her happy, with no way out for at least four years.

Peter wanted to continue the conversation but his plans changed when Chris, a member of his security detail, entered the room.

"This just came for you sir." Chris handed Peter a large envelope, then turned and left the room.

"See," Alicia said, with a hint of sarcasm. "No privacy!"

Grace wanted Alicia to look at new outfit she had. They both headed in the direction of Grace's room. Alicia turned back to Peter as he opened the envelope. "We can continue this discussion later if you want."

Peter only nodded as he removed the contents from the envelope, a note and some scandalous photos of Alicia. A frown formed on his lips as he read the note.

 _I know what your wife did. Tell the FBI to stop looking for me._

 _I'm not after her, and she isn't in any danger, even though they think she is. But if you don't put a stop to the investigation I'll send these photos to the press, ruining your marriage and your campaign._

Peter shuffled quickly through the few photos in shock. He hurriedly placed them back in the envelope and called Eli.

A few minutes later Alicia re-entered the kitchen rubbing her neck. "I can't believe how grown up she is!" He didn't acknowledge her having been lost in thought. "Peter what's wrong?" She moved and stood a foot in front of him.

He looked over to her and smiled. "Nothings wrong. I need to go meet with Eli. Something's come up."

She looked at her watch. "It's a bit late for a meeting."

"I know, but we need to do this tonight. I'll be late. Don't wait up. You should get some rest for tomorrow."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm heading to bed now. I'm not feeling so well all of a sudden. And as for tomorrow, I'm not worried. It will be like a day in court, only the questions will be directed at me."

He was a little concerned. She had turned quite pale in the fifteen minutes she'd been in Grace's room. "Do you need anything before I go? You're not looking to well."

"No, I probably just need some sleep." She headed in the direction of her bedroom.

"Okay, I'll check in on you when I get back, before I go to bed."

Alicia just waved her hand as she rounded the corner to her bedroom and closed the door.

* * *

Peter and Eli sat in the dim light of the Governor's office. The photos had been quickly returned to the envelope after Eli had a glance at them. He was just as appalled as Peter had been, if not more. This was certainly a discussion he never wanted to have with Peter.

"Do you think she did have an affair with Pierson?" Eli asked, reading through the note again.

Peter sat back and rubbed his chin. "Well, it's not me with her in those photos. Pierson had dark brown hair, and you catch a glimpse of that in one photo. But I don't think she did. Everyone's asked her about an affair, and she's denied it whole-heartedly. There's no reason for her to keep something like that a secret at this point."

"There is only one head shot of Alicia. The photos could have doctored. How do we know the rest are even her?"

"We don't know. It looks like her, but there are probably a thousand other women out there with bodies as… well defined." The awkwardness of discussing something so personal with Eli was hard to get past. "There's no way to know for sure unless we ask her."

Eli looked backed up to him. "You probably shouldn't do that."

"I don't want to, especially if it isn't her. This will kill her."

"At least the photos aren't… too explicit." Eli looked away sighing.

"At least she's still covered up in all the appropriate places," Peter added.

"Yes" This was not how Eli had ever wanted to spend an evening with Peter, discussing partially nude photos of Alicia with another man.

"I had a thought. Alicia and I never… took photos." Peter shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "But maybe she and Will…"

"Will does have dark brown hair, but he certainly wouldn't leak these!"

"No, but Pierson, or his accomplice, obviously found them, and are now using them as blackmail"

"Found them, or was the one who took them. Remember Peter they may not be Alicia," Eli cautioned. "You should call Will."

Peter put his face in his hands. "Yeah, that will be a fun conversation."

"But if he denies it, at least we'll know it's not the two of them."

In this moment Peter felt a slight sense of guilt. He had to admit that it was hard seeing intimate photos of his wife with another man. It was one thing to know about it, but to see it was different. He'd always been so angry at Will for sleeping with Alicia, his wife, that he'd never looked at it from her perspective. He suddenly realized just how difficult it must have been for Alicia to see her husbands prostitute all over the news media. He pulled out his phone and dialed Will.

* * *

They met at a bar, and sat in a tucked away booth. Will scanned the note, and accompanying photos. He turned them face down on the table, and sat back taking sip of his drink.

Peter had been polite, but if the conversation with Eli had been awkward, this was definitely the definition of awkward situations.

"Alicia and I never…" Will said, glancing at Peter.

"You're positive?" They may be on the same side now, but there certainly wasn't a mutual sense of trust between the two men.

"Look Peter, I don't know what you Alicia did in bed. But I'm guessing if you ever brought it up you would have gotten the same response I did. Once I proposed it as a joke. It's not my thing, but I wanted to see what she'd say because I figured she would shoot it down immediately." As uncomfortable as this was, Will was done beating around the bush.

"And she did?"

A slight chuckle escaped Wills lips. "She was so appalled I'd even brought it up, she left my apartment!"

"Sounds about right!" Peter sat back taking a sip of his drink. "The problem is, if it wasn't you and Alicia, and it's not me and Alicia, then we have to assume it's Pierson and Alicia."

Will took a drink and removed his suit coat. "It may not even be Alicia, even though there is a… strong resemblance."

Peter nodded in acknowledgement. "The problem I have now is if it gets leaked, the press won't care if it's Alicia or not. How can we be sure without asking her?"

"We can't, and neither one of us wants to be the one to ask her. We give her the benefit of the doubt, and assume it's not." Will sat back, glass in hand.

"But if it is,"

"Then Alicia's holding back on a lot more than her emotions right now." Will didn't think there was any chance that Alicia had slept with Pierson. Not after the discussion he'd had with her the previous week.

"So the best thing to do is to get the FBI to back down?"

"If you do that, how do we know Alicia won't be in any danger? This person says she isn't. That she won't be. But what if it's a rouse to leave her in a more vulnerable position? Can we, in good conscience, leave her exposed to another possible attack?"

"We wouldn't have to tell her." Peter was onto his third drink. Will began to wonder if he was thinking clearly. It was a death sentence to keep things from Alicia, especially of that magnitude. And what did he mean by not telling her? That was ludicrous.

"If you tell the FBI to back away, and don't tell her the reason why, she'll be furious if she finds out."

"It would be a small price to pay in comparison to having her come up missing again."

Will nodded.

"If I don't call the investigation off, and I resign from the campaign, when this gets leaked, maybe it wouldn't spread across the country. It would save her some grief."

"Not enough, and what are you going to give her as your reason for resigning? I saw the pole numbers a few days ago. Don't you think she'll just blame herself for the resignation? She can't handle the guilt right now, even if it's not her fault. She already blames herself for what happened with Pierson."

"She does?" Peter was being reminded of how strained his relationship with Alicia had become, and how little he'd been able to pry out of her.

"Yes" Will took another drink of his scotch.

Peter sighed. "So she's talked to you about it?" He couldn't hide his slight disappointment in this revelation.

"I went to her and insisted she tell me how I was involved."

Peter just nodded his head.

"Peter look…"

"No" Peter put up his hand to stop Will from continuing. "It's all right. I'm the one who asked you to get involved. And I meant it. I had hoped that things would change between Alicia and I after all of this, but they haven't. I'm just glad she's confiding in someone."

"Well I wouldn't say she's confiding in me. I'm the one that went to her and insisted we talk. I get the feeling there is a lot we still don't know about the whole situation. I don't think she would have come to me on her own."

Both men sat in silence thinking about the only thing on either of their minds, Alicia. Will finished his drink. Peter ordered another.

"Peter I need to go. Here's what I think is best for Alicia." Peter looked at him again. "Tell the FBI to back away from the investigation, but continue to keep the heavy security with her. I know she hates it, but there will be less chance of someone harming her if she's protected. That way you can hold onto the campaign, and no one has to tell her about these photos. Maybe the investigation can be re-opened in six months if nothing happens."

Peter sighed and nodded in agreement. Will grabbed his jacket and got ready to leave. "Will"

"Yeah"

"I've asked Eli to look into what a campaign without Alicia would look like." He looked right into Will's eyes. "She doesn't want to be First Lady, and I don't have the heart to force her into something I know will make her miserable."

"Alicia would be a great First Lady."

"Yes, she would. But it's time I stopped trying to decide her future for her."

"So you're going to divorce her?" He was surprised at Peter's candidness. He blamed that on the alcohol. He didn't know whether to be enthusiastic, or worried about how Alicia would handle the news.

"I'm leaning heavily in that direction. But I don't want her to have to deal with a divorce right now. So when things calm down I'll probably propose it as an option for her."

"Peter, I'm sorry."

"No you're not!" Peter scoffed.

"I am" Will said, sincerely.

"The biggest mistake I ever made was cheating on her seven years ago. But I can't go back and fix it now."

Will nodded his head in understanding. "I think she might like to hear that from you."

"No, she's past the point of caring anymore." He took another drink.

"I think she'd still like to hear it. Knowing someone is sorry for hurting you could go a long way." His words weren't only meant for Peter's benefit. He was truly sorry for the way he had treated Alicia. He hoped that when the time was right, and she would finally allow him to apologize, she'd accept. He was hoping for the same in return.

"It's time I did what's best for Alicia. We both need to do what's best for Alicia. Take that however you want." Peter's eyes remained on him as he lifted his glass to his lips again.

Will stood to leave, but turned to face him as one last thought crossed his mind. "Alicia needs stability. Don't throw a wrench in her stability right now."

A small smile crossed Peter's lips. He drummed his fingers on his glass, peering across the bar past Will. "I won't, but I'm not Alicia's stability anymore."

Will nodded. He knew Peter was implying that he was Alicia's stability now. But he certainly didn't feel like it. And he had no idea how she viewed it. If anyone was her stability it was her own self. Somehow he could sense her confidence in her own stability was on shaky ground these days. He stood there another moment pondering the whole discussion the two men had just had.

"Peter, that was… weird earlier."

Peter chuckled. "You mean you and me coming close to discussing Alicia in bed? Yeah!" He lifted his drink to his lips.

"Let's not do that again!" Will slipped his suit coat back on. Peter nodded, Will turned and left.

* * *

When Peter entered the quiet apartment, he noticed the light still on in Alicia's room. He knocked quietly and opened the door. She looked miserable in the dim lamp light.

"Did you get everything worked out with Eli?" she questioned, pulling the covers up closer to her chin.

"Yeah, I think so. You okay?"

She shook her head. "I feel miserable. If I have to make one more trip to the bathroom tonight I may just sleep on the floor in there."

He moved and sat on the edge of the bed. "Stomach flu?"

"Probably. Just what I needed tonight." She rolled over onto her side and closed her eyes.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Some ginger-ale, and some sleep!"

"I can take care of the ginger-ale. Holler if you need anything later okay?"

"Okay"

He remained there for a few moments looking at her. A deep sadness filled his heart. He knew things could never be the same. But he would miss the small things they used to share, like bringing her ginger-ale when her stomach was upset.

 **A/N; A big thank you for the reviews of the last chapter! Get prepared, the next few chapters of this are a real roller-coaster of emotions!**


	14. Trial, The First Week

**A/N; Thank you all for the overwhelming response to this! I do really appreciate it.**

Cary and Alicia stepped off the elevator at Lockhart Gardner, heading for the conference room.

"Why is it that we always end up meeting here?" Cary asked, as they approached the conference room.

Alicia had other things on her mind, and was still feeling slightly weak, from her bout with the stomach flu the previous day. They had postponed this meeting for a day because of it. "I don't know Cary. I'm sure we can meet at our offices tomorrow if it becomes necessary for this to go on." They entered the room where Brian, and two other men sat, getting things set up. Soon Diane joined them.

"Will, will be here shortly. He got held up in a meeting."

They all exchanged pleasantries, and began. Brian asked about how Pierson had come to be Cary and Alicia's client. What kind of work they had done for him. Cary explained how insistent Pierson had been on Alicia arguing Mike's case.

"Alicia, how often were you in contact with Pierson prior to the case?"

"About once every two weeks."

"And after the case came about?"

"Nearly every day. He was concerned about his partner being set up, and the rumors that were beginning to spread about their company."

"Mike had been set up?"

"Yes, but you already know that. Pierson is the one who set him up. He's the one who committed the rape."

Will entered the room making eye contact with her. She looked pulled together, but her eyes shown exhaustion.

"At what point did you know Pierson was the one who committed the rape?"

She inhaled, suddenly feeling weak again. "He told me during the second week of the trial." All eyes were on her. She continued to hold eye contact with Brian.

"And you didn't report it because he threatened your life, or because the three of you were in on this together, and the goal was to get every one off scot-free?"

Alicia was appalled, as were the three other attorneys in the room. "Brian, those allegations are absurd!" Diane cut in.

"Are they?"

"Yes" Alicia's mouth fell open, looking at Brian in disbelief.

"Here's what I think happened. Alicia and Pierson were having an affair." Anger began to rise in Alicia. "Alicia broke things off, and Pierson was angry. He has dinner with his brother at the restaurant. Pierson convinces Mike to flirt with Maddie. Later that evening Pierson takes his anger out on Maddie. He grabs her in the dimly lit ally next to the restaurant, so that it's difficult for her to distinguish between the two men. And when Maddie is asked if she knows who the rapist is, she assumes it was Mike since he'd been flirting with her."

"Mike, would never do that, flirt with another woman. He loved his wife," Alicia cut in.

"Did he? Mr. Gardner questioned a witness during trial who claimed Mike was sleeping with her." Alicia briefly glared at Will.

"And if you would have kept reading the transcript, you would find that I discredited all of her claims. But please Brian, why don't you finish telling us how you believe this all happened." She was annoyed and rolled her eyes.

"Pierson comes to you, tells you to get Mike off the hook, or he'll expose the affair. You agree, but then it goes to trial, and isn't going away quietly. We all know Pierson was a real piece of work, obsessed with you, stalked you. He wanted you back, he was jealous off… Peter, or Will. That would explain the amount of information found on Will in Pierson's office. He threatens to expose the affair even if you win the case, unless you agree to come back to him. You don't want that, so you go to his home to confront him about it, and things go wrong."

"Ridiculous!" Will snickered.

"That isn't what happened," Alicia said coldly.

"No? Because that's what the emails between you and Pierson would imply."

"You mean the emails that he sent himself from my account because he had access to my computer? He set me up, how many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Alicia, your firm stance on things would be more believable if you showed any sign of emotion. Your flat even tone throughout all of this, every single time we've questioned you, makes you look guilty. It's typical behavior of a guilty person."

She'd had enough. She pushed her chair back firmly placing her hands on the table.

"Emotion? You want me to show some emotion?" Her tone rose a great amount as she stood leaning forward. "How about this for emotion? I'm angry, and that's only the first verse." Everyone in the room was surprised at the level of anger that was suddenly being unleashed. Yes, she had been calm and collected nearly every time anyone had asked her about what had happened, but it wasn't in her nature to raise her voice. Will felt like this was a good step in moving forward for her, and couldn't help but smile a little. He knew Brian was going to get more than an ear full before she was done. It was well deserved in his opinion.

"I'm angry at nearly everyone in this room. But I'm angrier at you and the FBI for getting me into this situation in the first place. You're looking for someone to blame for your screw-up. I'm not going to take the blame. This was your fault. If your agency had done its job at any point in the past five years, Pierson would be behind bars. How is it that I was able to figure out he was a serial killer in a matter of weeks, yet you are still doubting it? Let's get things straight, on the record right now. Pierson abused me, nearly – every – singe - night during the trial." Her knuckles were turning white.

"He followed me around for over two weeks. He threatened my life and the life of my daughter if I didn't do exactly what he told me." She lifted one hand slightly off the table pointing her index finger. "I did NOT have an affair with him!" she said, intentionally tapping her pointed finger on the table.

"Now, if you want to know the truth about what happened, then I'll sit back down and tell you the truth. But you agree to not interrupt with your ridiculous side commentary. This is it. I'm not going to re-tell the story again. When I'm done you leave me alone, and I get this out of my life. However, if your mind has already been made up, then we're through. I have a firm to get back to running. You can let me know when you have some concrete evidence to support any of these accusations against me!" She continued to glare at the man sitting in front of her.

Brian put his hands up. "Okay, you win. That was the most convincing argument you've given in the past six weeks. I'd like to know the truth, from your perspective."

She stood motionless for a moment before sitting looking around the room at the different faces that had her complete attention. She took a few deep breaths, feeling exhausted, and then sat back down. Maybe she should have taken one more day to get over the flu.

She started at the beginning telling them about meeting Pierson at his home the week before the trial started. She told them about the discussion over Pierson's wife, and the story he had told her about Mike not knowing he was Pierson's brother. Then she moved to the night before the trial had begun, and how it was then that she better understood what Pierson had meant when he told her she needed to win the case.

"How long do you think Mr. Pierson had been planning on threatening your life before he told you so that night before the trial?" Brian asked.

Alicia looked at Will. "He'd planned on killing me before he ever stepped into our offices last November. How long before that, I couldn't say. My guess would be sometime during my campaign when the emails Will and I exchanged came out." She turned back to look at Brian. Everyone but Will seemed surprised at her answer.

She pulled out the photos of the Pierson's victims from her file, and placed them on the table. She explained Pierson's motive of adultery as the reason he really wanted to kill her.

"So it wasn't about the case? It was about getting you to cheat again?"

"Yes, but Alicia wouldn't give in to him. So the case became a good excuse," Will interjected.

Brian didn't look completely convinced. "Okay, but how do you know all of this about the other women? Did Pierson tell you about them?" His attention was back on Alicia, he wanted to know just how exactly she had figured out Pierson was a serial killer.

She looked around the room. The air was heavy. Everyone was skeptical of everyone else, which was fair. Half of the people in the room were keeping information from one or more parties in the room.

"No, it was about a week into the trial when I started to connect the dots with the other women. But it will make more sense if you understand what happened prior to that."

Brain nodded. "Please, continue then."

"The first day of the trial Pierson showed up before court. He pulled me aside." She looked to Cary, who nodded in agreement.

As Alicia began retelling the story, Will became aware of things he'd seen, and had taken the wrong way. He realized he'd used some of these seeming flirtations from Pierson against her in court. He remembered seeing Pierson that first morning, and feeling a slight sense of jealousy when Pierson had reached out and taken her elbow, smiling at her like a school boy. But of course the two weren't having an intimate discussion, as Alicia was now telling.

 _"Are you less drunk this morning?" Alicia said, with a smug tight line across her lips._

 _"I'm just fine this morning Alicia. You need a good opening argument. We need the judge on our side from the get-go." Pierson reached out and took her elbow with a broad grin._

 _She rolled her eyes, and continued in a hushed tone. "You do realize you could just argue this case yourself, and provide the judge with the opening argument you want?"_

 _Pierson chuckled. "I could, but it will be more fun watching you trying to out-do your former lover!" He glanced briefly to Will smiling even broader at Alicia._

She paused and looked at Will. "He told me to bat my lashes at Will a few times, and to not let him throw me off my game. Which is exactly what Will was able to do because Pierson showed me the photo of Grace from the night before one last time before the judge came in." She was worried this would happen. That her feelings of annoyance towards the way Will had acted in court would float to the surface in her retelling of the situation. She continued, reading some from the transcript.

 _"Objection, inadmissible." Will interrupted for the fourth time in ten minutes._

 _Alicia turned and glared at him, speaking before the judge could rule. "How is that inadmissible? I simply stated that my client left the restaurant at 10:00 pm, and returned home around 10:30. The rape took place sometime around 11:00. I have an affidavit entered into evidence stating this fact if you could hold your objections for more than five seconds!"_

 _"Around 10:30? Around could be anywhere within the hour," Will shot back. "I just want you to clarify."_

 _Alicia rolled her eyes. "You know what I meant. It was 10:30, and I'm sure the judge could figure that out on his own!"_

 _"Your honor, are you going to rule on my objection?" Will turned his attention back to the judge who was already irritated by both attorneys._

 _"Overruled, Mrs. Florrick continue."_

 _Three minutes later. "Objection, argumentative." Even Diane glared at Will this time. Alicia was growing livid._

 _"Overruled!" the judge said, sternly glaring at Will._

 _"Your honor, will you please tell opposing councel to stop interrupting with ridiculous objections?" Alicia said._

 _"Ridiculous? My objections aren't ridiculous. You're making mistakes, and I don't want the judge making decisions based on your mistakes."_

 _Their attention had quickly turned from the judge to each other._

 _"You're doing this on purpose to throw me off my game. The judge hasn't sustained a single one of your objections!"_

 _"You're right, I am trying to throw you off, but you're still making mistakes!"_

" _I am not. Will this isn't mock court prep back at Georgetown. You don't need to point out all of my mistakes!"_

 _The judge banged his gavel. Alicia looked at the judge. "Your honor, councel is clearly badgering councel." She knew it sounded ridiculous, but she was fed up with Will's objections._

 _Will chuckled. "Badgering councel? That is a new objection. Your honor, would you like to rule on Mrs. Florricks made up objection?"_

 _"Quiet both of you. I will not allow this court to be turned into a circus! Mr. Gardner, save your objections for cross examination. Mrs. Florrick, I'll be the judge as to what happens in my court. I'd appreciate it if you'd try to remember I'm the judge."_

"The entire day went on like that. You can read it in the transcript." Alicia handed the transcript to Brian pointing to the relevant paragraphs.

Will noticed how she didn't make eye contact with him. He could tell she was irritated. "In my defense, I wasn't the only one interrupting with nonsensical objections." He felt a need to defend himself.

Alicia shook her head, but held eye contact with Brian. "You're right. And the judge wasn't the only one upset about the two of us making a mockery of the court that day." She peered over to Will. "Pierson held the crazy notion that I should be taking the case seriously, and that I wasn't. After seeing how childish Will and I behaved that day, and it was childish, he had a few words with me that night." She began to wonder if deep down she was blaming some of what had happened on Will. She'd spent the past weeks telling herself it wasn't his fault, but she began to justify that some of her anger was because of him.

Will had wondered this all along. But every time they'd spoken about it she denied any blame placed on him. It was frustrating to him that she wouldn't just admit to his face that some of this was made worse by his actions. His thoughts nearly confirmed as she continued her story.

 _"What was that today Alicia?" Pierson moved to sit on the edge of her desk._

 _"That was vigorously representing my client." She moved her chair back a bit away from him._

 _"No, it was vigorously arguing with opposing councel. I expected that from Will, he's done it in the past. But not from you. I told you to not let him get under your skin."_

 _"What do you mean he's done it in the past?"_

 _"Oh, I read through a few trial transcripts from your past." He stood and moved closer to her. She stood up and backed away from him a few feet, his actions from the night before fresh on her mind._

 _"I was just doing my job. Again, if you don't like the way I'm arguing this case, you should think about defending Mike on your own."_

 _He sighed, and moved backing her up against wall. "Let's be clear on a few things. I don't like the law. You're a better lawyer, more poised, than you let on today. I told you to convince Will, not play right into his hand. And you work for me. I'm the one paying you."_

 _"You didn't tell me to convince him. You told me to seduce him. And Mike is the one paying me, not you." She was quick to retort._

"He didn't like it when I tried to correct him on things. That was the first time he slapped me across the face." The conference room had become silent. Alicia turned her head and looked at Cary avoiding Will. This was the first mention of the abuse to anyone other than Will. "I was a little shocked, and appalled at his behavior, and I told him so." She looked down at the few papers in front of her. "So he slapped me again, and then he grabbed hold of my arms and pushed me hard against the wall." Will shook his head. She left out the details of her bruising, but he knew. It made him wince as she continued.

She inhaled and looked back up to Brian. "He told me he didn't think I understood who was in charge, and that I needed to be better behaved the next day. He told me that I needed to distract Will just as he had distracted me." She laughed under her breath. "He told me I would be rewarded for good behavior. I assumed that meant we wouldn't have a repeat of what he had just done."

"But that wasn't what he meant?" Brian asked, jotting a few notes down on the paper in front of him.

"No, that is not what he meant." It was said with a hint of disgust. "He told me what kind of outfit he thought I should wear to court the following day. What shade of lipstick I should put on. That I should wear four inch heels instead of three, because it made my legs look even longer."

"And this was meant to be a distraction for Will?"

"Yes"

"And did you follow his instructions?"

She looked at Will again feeling a bit ashamed. "Yes," she said quietly, with a bit of sadness in her eyes. "I decided to try and play a different card, calm the waters. But that isn't what happened." She had noticed more than once that day how Will had looked at her, and then been at a loss for words. She'd also intentionally interjected phrases into her questioning she knew had held significant meaning between them in the past. The reality was that at that point in the trial she herself had become convinced that maybe if she really did try to fix things between them, Will would back down and offer a settlement before the judge made a ruling. She continued to hold eye contact with Will. They were both aware of the mental game they had played that day. No one reading through the transcript would guess what had really happened. The mental game was something the two had perfected for both good and bad.

"And did it distract Will?"

"Yes, it did distract me." Will knew exactly what had gone on, and there was no need to share in the details. "Just read through the transcript. You'll find that I became so distracted, Diane took over the cross examining for the rest of the day." Distracting was true, but he was also furious at Alicia by the time the first recess rolled around because she had managed to play him just as he had done to her the day before.

"I insisted taking over the questioning. I wasn't about to let his emotions ruin our case!" Diane said, raising her brow at Will.

Cary chuckled. "That, and we both knew the judge had had it up to his ears with their little game! I tried to take over for Alicia, but she wouldn't let me."

She and Will couldn't help but smile at the situation they had put their partner's in. "Yeah, well at least I had a good excuse for insisting on doing the questioning." The light mood in the room was quickly returned back to the serious situation at hand. "Let's just say Pierson found it attractive the way I had handled… the cross that day."

"So he tried to seduce you?" Brian asked.

"Yes"

"And did it work?"

Alicia shook her head in irritation. "No, it did not _work!_ Let's just leave it at that." She was growing uncomfortable, and Will knew why. It still sickened him to think of Pierson running his hands over her body.

"The following day was similar to the first, and so were Pierson's actions that night. He wasn't happy that the judge had postponed court until the following week. But the judge could clearly see we all needed a break from each other." The four attorneys smiled sheepishly.

"And it gave us a chance to pin down our surprise witness." Diane added.

 _Their surprise witness_. The mere mention of it made Alicia shutter. That had definitely been the worst day of the trial. She suddenly felt the walls closing in on her, her anxiety level shooting through the roof. "Could we take a break for a few minutes?" she asked, standing up. She was headed out the door before Brian could object. Will got up and followed her. She'd looked as white as a ghost when she exited the room.


	15. Withholding Evidence

Alicia stood still gazing out at the busy city below, a slight breeze blowing her hair gently in the sunlight. It had been years since she'd been to this tucked away corner of the terrace near the top of the Lockhart, Gardner building. Inhaling the fresh summer air brought a certain sense of calm back to her anxious body.

"Alicia"

She looked at him acknowledging his presence briefly before turning her gaze back to the Chicago skyline. "I just needed some air for a few minutes," she said, as he took a few steps closer to her leaning against the railing.

"This was always a good place for some fresh air."

She made eye contact with him. "Or a stolen kiss when we had a few minutes to get away!"

He smiled nodding his head. She returned the smile with a slight upward curve of her lips.

"I don't like this Will. I don't like being so exposed, and put in such a vulnerable position. I don't like talking about those few weeks of my life with so many people around."

"I know, but your doing great. How are you, aside from the questioning?"

"Tired, so tired of everything. I've tried to push all of this away and out of my life, but it's not going away. Things have only been made worse by being ill this week. I feel like I need to take a week off just to catch up on sleep. Yet, all I've done for two days is lay in bed. I can't leave Cary empty handed again."

"I'm sure he'd understand."

"He would, but it's not fair to him. And at any rate, taking some time off would just lead to me over-thinking everything. I really do need work to distract me."

"I understand." He couldn't help but notice once again how lonely and drained she looked. "I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"For the way I behaved during the trial. He punished you more because of my behavior."

She looked at him sternly. "Will, I'm the one who should be apologizing.

"No Alicia." He looked down at his feet. "I was angry. I was determined to beat you at whatever the cost because… I was hurt."

"We were both hurt. We are both hurt." At least she still felt that way, and assumed he did as well.

"Yes, and anger is what had determined my path with all the other trials in the past two years. But there was an added element to this one." He looked back up into her eyes.

"And that was?"

"Jealousy"

She was surprised at this revelation. Jealousy was the one thing she hadn't considered in his actions.

"I saw the way you had seemed to move on, and the way Pierson seemed to watch you, the way you seemed to allow him to touch you, and it hurt. It was one thing to see you with Peter, but the thought that there might be someone other than Peter, well…"

"What are you saying Will?"

"I'm just saying that I was harder on you because my ego had been bruised." He exhaled and turned to peer out at the view.

"Don't feel to guilty. Pierson meant for you to feel that way. And I'm not innocent in what happened during those first few days despite what Pierson was doing."

"Yeah, what were the odds that that woman claimed to have met Mike on several occasions at the same hotel we used to meet at?

She exhaled. "Slim"

"The memories that whole cross brought back affected both of us."

"They did. After court that day was one of the only times I thought about asking you for help with Pierson. He thought the looks, and flirtatious comments I was making meant I was thinking about sleeping with you. But I had planned on subtly inserting phrases into my cross that would possibly bring back some of those memories. And I was hopeful that if nothing else, you'd hate me enough less to let go of a win to save my life."

"I would have. Why didn't you come talk to me?"

"I was going to, but when I got ready to leave my office that night and walk over to yours…" She looked away shaking her head.

"He showed up?"

"Yes"

"That was the night he came on to you? Found it "attractive" the way you handled things that day?"

She looked at him, her lips in a tight line. "Yes"

"Alicia, what did he do to you that night?"

"I already told you."

"And that's all? The touching, he didn't push it further?" He knew he was treading on thin ice.

Her eyes turned cold. She folded her arms across her chest. "Yes, as if that wasn't enough! Don't tell me you're starting to buy into the affair theory?"

"No, I never have. Did Peter tell you about the photos?" He knew the answer, but over the past few days he decided that she had the right to know about them.

"Peter? What photos?" Her hands moved to her hips.

"Pierson's accomplice sent some photos to Peter a few days ago. Photo's of you, or someone who looks an awfully lot like you."

"What kind of photos?" she said, raising an angry brow.

"Photo's that could be taken the wrong way?" He faced her placing his hands in his pockets.

She looked away and shook her head. "Why is it that you know about these photos and I don't? Is that why they added another man to my security detail? Which I completely despise to begin with. Has there been some new threat, and no one wanted to tell me for fear that I couldn't handle it?" She shook her head in anger again.

"Yes, Peter didn't want to hurt you. By adding the extra detail we could give into the accomplice's demands without it bringing any harm to you. And don't blame Peter, I didn't agree with him on not telling you, but he really does have your best interest in mind for once in his life."

She turned to fully face him. "I'm glad to know that everyone thinks they have my - _best interest_ \- at hand. So what, now you and Peter get together and decide what's good, or not for me? I don't know what's more galling! The fact that you two are having discussions about me behind my back. Or the fact that the two of you think it's okay to withhold information from me." She turned and started to walk back towards the building entrance. He followed.

"Alicia, you're taking this the wrong way. Let me explain."

She spun around just before he caught up to her. "I think you've done enough _explaining,_ for one day. Tell the others I wasn't feeling well, and that we need to postpone until tomorrow." She turned heading for the door, but stopped abruptly, turning back towards him. "And tell everyone we're meeting at Florrick, Agos tomorrow." She entered the building with Mark following right behind her.

Will exhaled in frustration. At some point they would have to have to have a long discussion that didn't end in one of them being upset or hurt all over again.

* * *

"Will, where's Alicia?" Diane approached him as he rounded he corner to his office.

He sighed keeping his frustration to himself. "She's not feeling well. She wants to continue tomorrow."

"Come to my office, I have some news I think you'll be interested in."

He didn't move. He was as tired of the charade as Alicia was. "Diane, I have work to do."

She peered over the rim of her glasses at him. "So do I, but I think you might want to hear this."

He reluctantly followed her back into her office. _"Sure, what's an extra hour at the office later tonight?"_ he whispered under his breath, as they sat at the conference table in her office. Kalinda, Kurt and Cary were already seated there.

"When we agreed to take Alicia on as a client, I asked Kurt to look at the ballistics. If the FBI was going to try and charge her with something, I wanted to be prepared just in case."

Will's mind was only partially in the conversation, but this news gained a little more of his attention. He didn't know Diane had asked Kurt to look into things. "And?" he said, leaning forward placing his arms on the table.

Diane turned to Kurt to explain.

Kurt placed some computer generated drawings on the table. "You said that when you found Alicia, Pierson was laying across her legs and mid section like this." He pointed to the first image where a figure was laying on its back, the other body laying diagonally across the first figure.

"Yes"

"The authority's claim they think Alicia pulled the gun from Pierson's belt while he was on his hands and knees above her trying to remove her clothing."

"Yes, all she remembers is slipping, crawling towards the tree where I found her, and then Pierson prevented her from standing again. That's when he told her about the drug. She doesn't remember anything that happened after that."

Kurt looked briefly to Diane, then back to Will. "Under that scenario, if she pulled the gun out from his belt and fired, with her limited strength it would explain these three entrance wounds." He pointed to three dots on the stomach of one of the diagrams. "The impact would have forced him off of her. Pierson was shot five times. These three wounds. Once here near his shoulder. It's possible that one of the bullets she fired could have hit him there. But it doesn't explain how this bullet," he pointed to another diagram with the figure on its back. "The bullet that killed him, got there."

Will didn't understand. "Why not? So she managed to shoot a bullet that went straight to his heart and killed him."

"Yes, but the entrance wound is from his back not his chest."

"So he turned away from her and she shot him."

"I don't think so. His only priority would have been to get the gun away from her. I don't think he turned his back to her. The only way he ends up back on top her is if he stood and then fell on her that way, or crawled back over to her before he died."

"How could she shoot him in the back then? She likely barely had control of her limbs at that point."

"Right, so either she's lying about some, or all of this. Or someone else was there and shot him. After he gets shot he falls on her, or someone placed him there after he was dead."

Will looked past Diane out the window. "You've all seen her, she's not lying."

"All heads in the room nodded in agreement. "Why would someone shoot Pierson, and then leave her there?" He was confused, angry, hurt all at the same time.

"Equally troubling is the fact that the FBI has probably known this from the beginning." Diane said, with concern.

Will looked back at her in shock. "They think she's guilty. They think she shot him point blank, and then took the drug and staged the whole thing."

"That's what we think. They don't have enough evidence to arrest her. So they think that by questioning her, and posing different scenarios to her, sooner or later she'll contradict herself and get caught in a lie."

"So we need to find the third person."

"Pierson's accomplice." Kalinda interjected. "Whoever the accomplice is, wanted Pierson dead for some reason, but they obviously didn't feel a need to kill Alicia."

"And now they're trying to cover their tracks?" Will said.

"Or they kept her alive so they could frame her and get away with it." Cary added.

"Whoever it is didn't cover their tracks well. They made a mistake by going back to Pierson's hidden office, and deleting files from the computer." Diane said.

Will's mind wandered from one event to the next over and over. "Either way, no matter what Peter did with those photos, she's probably still in danger. If she did see who it was, and she ends up remembering, that person could be convicted.

"Only if she recognizes the person." Kalinda said. Will nodded.

"What photos?" Cary asked.

Will stood. "Nothing, I need to make a phone call." He knew Alicia wouldn't answer, so he'd have to call Peter and tell him. "Tell Brian what we know. It should be fun to watch him try and back peddle out of this one. And then tell him we're not meeting again until tomorrow at Florrick, Agos."

"But Will, it's still her word against their theory. What if they decide to go ahead and arrest her?" Diane said, concerned.

"They won't. If they had enough for an arrest they would have done it by now. I'm willing to bet the accomplice will make another mistake before this gets much further. If not we need to find some more evidence that she's telling the truth."

"Like what?" Cary asked.

"I don't know yet. But there has to be something. Alicia is innocent. If the FBI knew how truly terrified she still is, they would believe her. Kalinda," he said, pointing a finger to her.

"I'm on it."

He turned and exited the office heading for his own. He was determined to defend Alicia's story no matter what, even if it was a partial lie. She didn't deserve to go to prison after what Pierson had done to her. Over the course of the past weeks he thought it had been a mix of fear, exhaustion, and weariness he'd seen in her eyes. He realized now it was all fear. She wasn't telling him or anyone for that matter, a missing piece to the puzzle. That missing piece may not answer all of their questions, but there was something that still held a firm grip over her.

 **A/N; Thank you all again! You're the best!**


	16. Alicia's Secret

**A/N; Welcome to the new followers! Before I wrote a single word of this story months ago, I debated whether or not to take Alicia to a place where I've gone in this chapter. I didn't, and still don't, know how it would be received. But I decided to go ahead since this story has been built around this chapter, and the scene you'll read between she and Will. I'll just say I'm sorry right now! Please know that my heart has been broken for months over this.**

This day was never supposed to come. She wasn't ever supposed to have to tell another soul her secret. She'd buried it seven weeks earlier, and intended for it to stay buried. But Pierson had wanted her to remember it - far beyond the physical pain - making it impossible to completely forget. Will hadn't unburied her secret on purpose. He had no clue that when he innocently put on a medium blue dress shirt, and his dark navy blue suit that morning, one of her favorites, that it would stir something inside of her that could no longer be contained. Now, the moment her secret had been revealed had come and gone. And now she wasn't the only one hurting because of it. Wasn't the only one trying to process it.

The emotional and physical toll of getting it out was significant. Maybe that's why Will had hardly said anything since they'd left Chicago nearly six hours earlier. Not much more than to make sure she was comfortable, and to see if she needed anything while they continued to drive. Maybe he hadn't said much because he knew she needed the silence. Maybe it was because he still couldn't process the reality of it himself. Maybe it was just that he didn't know what else he was supposed to do other than take her from the place her nightmares ran so vividly.

His heart was overwhelmed with more pain than he'd ever imagined he could feel on her behalf. His only focus as he drove - glancing over to her every so often - was to protect her, and to get her someplace where she could begin to heal. He hadn't told her where they were going - he hadn't told anyone. "We're going someplace safe," he said. "Someplace without any memories to haunt you. Someplace where no one will come looking."

* * *

Several hours earlier she, Cary, Brian, and his men, were seated in the conference room. She knew this particular day of the trial would have to be discussed, but she had a plan to avoid telling them about certain aspects of that day. She'd tell them she and Pierson had argued, just as they had the previous week, and that would be the end of it. After that she could move onto the next day. The day she'd purposefully gotten herself held in contempt so she could feel safe for one night.

Will and Diane were running late. She didn't much care after the conversation she and Will had the previous day. She was still angry at him. She'd gone straight to Peter's office after she'd left Lockhart, Gardner. It hadn't ended well. Partially due to the fact that she barely let Peter say a single word before she stormed back out of his office.

Brain and Cary filled Alicia in on the ballistics evidence from the previous day. Alicia wasn't happy to find out the FBI had indeed known about it weeks ago. Brian confessed that they thought Alicia had planned some, or all of Pierson's murder.

Cary was mid argument in Alicia's defense, when Will and Diane walked in.

"This is crazy! You were there when they brought Alicia to the hospital. If she had planned the murder, then why would she let Pierson hurt her before she killed him?"

"To make it look like self defense." Brian said, placing his hands on the table peering over to Alicia. "If you didn't shoot him in the back, someone else did. And I find it pretty difficult to believe that in all the hours you spent with Pierson that day, that you didn't notice anyone watching, or following you."

"The only thing I was focused on was…" She paused when Will sat down at the table across from her. Her eyes didn't meet his. All she could do was stare at his clothing.

"Was what?" Brian asked.

She inhaled, and turned back to Brian. "Was getting away from him to save my life. Trust me, if I had seen anyone else I would have run straight for them."

"It's just hard to believe that Pierson's accomplice, who you all suggest is the one that fired the shot that killed him, would have been able to follow the two of you undetected."

Will spoke up. "What if the accomplice hadn't followed them? What if that person was waiting for them?" He'd put a lot of thought into what Kurt had said the day before. "I know you haven't found the other bodies yet, but what if the accomplice knew that was where Pierson took all of his victims, and then waited for them to get there?"

"That's a good theory. But where are the bodies?" Everyone's attention was on Will.

"I don't know. But I don't believe for one second that Alicia planned any of this." He looked at her. Her eyes met his, but she quickly refocused on the others.

"I'd still like to prove I'm innocent," Alicia said.

"Okay," Brian said, skeptically.

"I think if you hear about what happened during the rest of the trial you'll believe me. There's enough evidence in my actions during the second week of the trial, that I think you'll believe I'm innocent."

Will watched her thin figure scoot to the edge of her seat, nervously gripping a pen in one hand.

"Our first day back in court Will and Diane had a surprise witness." She looked at both of them her eyes turning cold. "We weren't prepared for the surprise. But if you read the transcript you'll see that I handled it quite well." She focused on Will again. "In fact that was my best day in court. I ripped the witness's testimony to shreds," she said, with a slight smirk. "I thought Pierson would be happy. We had the upper hand at the end of the day." She didn't continue, just held an eerie gaze on Will.

He had to look away, the stare was so intense. "She's right. We were down after that cross."

Everyone turned back to Alicia expecting her to continue. "Where are the photos?" she said, coldly. "The ones you all think are of me. The ones sent to Peter."

Confused at the abrupt change in directions the conversation had taken, Brian pulled out a file and handed it across the table to her. She took it into her hands. Her eyes remained on Will, the room deathly silent.

"Are there other copies?"

"None that we have."

"And what are you doing to find the person who sent these?" she said, turning her attention to Brian.

"We aren't doing anything right now. Your husband told us to hold off."

She shook her head and looked at the file in her hand, timidly opening it. Everyone watched as she thumbed through the photos, her lips in a thin line. Inwardly she was unraveling, a mix of anxiety, and anger building up inside of her. She briefly looked at Will, whose eyes now shown only remorse.

Brain asked the question on everyone's mind. "Alicia, are you the woman in those photos?"

She could barely breathe, her stomach turning somersaults. She began trembling inwardly. "Yes"

As shock filled the room, she pushed her chair back and stood. Her need to leave the room was at a peak. "They were taken later that night after court." She turned, the file still in hand, and exited the room hurrying down the hall towards the restroom.

"So she did sleep with him?" Cary said. It was more of a statement than a question, but it was what everyone was thinking.

"I'll go after her," Diane said, getting up from her seat. Will remained silent contemplating all the conversations he'd had with her in the past weeks. Why had she lied to him about it?

Diane entered the restroom. Alicia was at the sink. Soap covered both of her hands and nearly every inch of skin to her mid forearm. The water was running, and she was scrubbing as if she were a surgeon preparing for surgery. Diane thought it odd, but before she could say anything Alicia spoke up, rinsing the soap from her hands. "I need you, Will and Cary to come to my office. And bring your copies of the transcripts from that day." She grabbed a towel to dry her hands and exited the restroom.

A few minutes later, as requested, the other three entered her office, closing the door behind them. Alicia stood hunched over her desk, her hands gripping the edge. She was reading hurriedly in a loud whisper, and didn't acknowledge their presence. The three looked to one another, Will moved closer to her. She hurriedly flipped to the next page of the transcript in front of her, continuing to read, her body trembling. It was as if she was behind in a race trying to catch up.

"Alicia," Will tried to reach for her arm. She swat at it to keep him from touching her.

"Will, take your jacket off."

"Take my…" he said bewildered, before she cut him off.

"Just do it!" She straightened up, turning to face them, still furiously reading the papers in her hand.

Will removed his jacket, although he still had no clue as to why she had made such a request.

"I need all of you to go through the trial with me from that day."

"But Alicia, why? We all know what happened in court," Cary protested, his eyes scrunched up in confusion.

She exhaled, raising her hands in frustration. "Then tell me what I did wrong?" The other three looked at her puzzled. "I've been over that transcript fifty times, and I still don't know what I did wrong. You're the best legal minds in the city. Help me figure it out." It was said in near desperation.

"Alicia, you were spot on that day. Why does it matter?" Cary said, in slight frustration.

She threw her copy of the transcript down onto her desk.

"Alicia, Cary's right. You handled the cross nearly flawlessly. What's going on?" Will took a few steps closer to her.

Her full attention became focused on him. "There must have been something." Her tone rose a great amount. She stepped towards him, her eyes filled with anger. "I tried to tell Pierson I hadn't argued very well, that I'd been caught off guard. But he didn't believe me. And I realized I couldn't disprove him" She moved within inches of him. "He thought I was withholding evidence from him. He thought you and I were in on it together! He thought I had told you to put her on the stand, because I'd figured out he had been the one to attack her, and that I was mocking him." Her entire body had been consumed in anger. She brought her hands up and pushed Will back a bit.

A little surprised at the physical aspect of her anger, he backed up, but just a few paces. He could tell this was her breaking point and he didn't want her to stop. For her own sake, she needed to get whatever it was out. Cary and Diane moved towards them, but Will held up his hand shaking his head to prevent them from interfering.

"How did you find her? Why did you put her on the stand? You didn't need her testimony. You were winning. I couldn't put a solid case together no matter what I did, and you knew it!" she said, pointing a finger at him. "Why go through the charade of the trial at all? It was a win for you from the beginning."

He put his hands up, "No it wasn't. We were losing. I needed someway to get ahead. But it didn't work because you questioned her like you'd had three months to prepare."

"Pierson didn't come to my office that night. I thought he was going to leave me alone because I'd done well that day. I went home, and spent a quiet evening with Grace." The two had managed to move enough that Will's back was now against the bookcase. "I was getting ready for bed, and there was a knock on my door. It was him, in the one place where he hadn't disrupted my life yet, and he was furious." She grabbed onto Will's shirt, trembling.

"He was angry about the witness, and he was angry because he realized he wasn't ever going to be able break me. He had this same suit on, the same color shirt, and the same navy jacket. He was wearing your cologne, and he had done it all on purpose. He said he saw the way you looked at me, the long stares that were only meant to be glances. I told him it was crazy. That there was no way you still had feelings for me. Not after the way things had been between us since I left. Yes, we had flirted back and forth in court the previous week, but I told him it hadn't meant anything. We had both done it on purpose to deepen the wound - that's still there! But he didn't believe it for a second."

She let go of his shirt and backed away. The worst part for both, was that at that moment they both realized she did blame Will for all of it, even if she didn't want to. He'd suspected it, but hearing it tore his heart into a million pieces. He'd never meant for their fallout to turn into something that would physically hurt her.

"I was so scared the next day, I got myself held in contempt. I tried to say enough that one of you would figure out something was wrong, but none of you did. County holding was the only safe place I could think of going. That made him even angrier, and he let me know it over the next few days. He thought I was serving the trial to you and Diane on a silver platter."

"So none of that meant anything? None of what's happened over the past weeks has meant anything to you?" He remained calm, but had to know the truth. Cary and Diane decided it was time to make a quiet exit.

She paused briefly to consider what he'd said. "That was the point Will. It had meant something. It does mean something. Pierson was right! Why do you think I came to your office that night? It wasn't to get a settlement that I knew full well you wouldn't offer. I needed you to protect me! You were the only one that could put a stop to him. But you sat behind your desk smug and stubborn as ever." Tears began to well up in her eyes.

"Alicia, I wanted to help. I thought it was Peter."

"Peter wasn't the one he was jealous of. It was you!" Her tone hadn't calmed through her entire rant. Beads of sweat began to form on her forehead.

"Okay, so answer me this. If he was so angry that night, how did he get the photos of you? You said yourself they were taken that night. How am I supposed feel knowing you've lied to me several times over the past weeks?" He reached out to hold onto her arms.

She backed away, and then the awful truth fell from her lips. "He raped me!" She inhaled. Her hand moving to her mouth she wanted to die right then and there. She'd felt this way at times in the past weeks, but admitting this out loud was unbearable.

For him. shock took over in the reality of what she'd just admitted, and a level of anguish he'd never known before stabbed him through the heart.

Tears began streaming down her cheeks. Will stepped closer to her. "I took him into my bedroom because I didn't want to wake Grace. We argued. I told him to leave. But he wanted to destroy every good memory I had of you. That's why he wore the suit, and the cologne." she said, bitterly through her tears. "He knew it would remind me of you. I tried to fight him off, but then he put his hand over my mouth and pulled out the gun." Her whole body was shaking. "He said if I made a sound Grace would be next." She turned away from him sobbing. "I couldn't let him hurt Grace. So I just… let him do it." She moved further from Will, and turned back around.

"I didn't try to stop him. How could I just let him… You wanted to know how I got those bruises on my chest? That was how. And the photos, they are stills taken from the recording he made. He was there for what seemed like an eternity, taking every bit of dignity I had left away. After he left I showered until the water ran cold to try and get the feel of him off of me, to see if the hot water could soothe some of the pain. But it didn't work. And the next morning I had to show up in court and act as if nothing had happened." Will was within inches of her, and finally after weeks of avoiding anyone's nearness, she allowed him to remain there. She looked up into his eyes. "Will, he raped me." It was said in almost a whisper as if she had just realized the reality of it for the first time. "And he was going to do it again before he killed me. I almost died Will."

He reached out placing his arms firmly around her, near tears himself. Alicia gripped onto his shirt, burying her head into his chest sobbing. He continued to hold her as her tears fell freely. "I'm so scared. Everywhere I go I'm reminded of him. Here, the court house, my apartment." Suddenly many of her behaviors over the past weeks were making more sense. Her asking him to not wear her favorite cologne, remodeling her bedroom, and her office, her jumpy behavior and avoidance of anyone who stepped to close to her, and the excessive scrubbing of her hands Diane had observed.

"He's dead, but I can't get rid of him. I feel like I'm suffocating." She looked desperately back up into his eyes. The only eyes, that despite blaming him, and what had happened, were able to calm her.

He reached his hand to her face brushing the hair from her cheek. "You're safe now. And we'll figure this out."

Tears continued to flow as she buried her head into his chest again.

A few minutes later Cary knocked on the door and entered. "Brian wants to resume."

"Tell Brian there won't be any more questioning. And call Peter. He needs to come down here," Will said. Cary nodded, noticing Alicia's current state, and left quietly closing the door behind him.

* * *

Now hours later, she sat in Wills car watching the mile markers as they sped past each one, getting further and further from home. It had been Wills idea once Peter had gotten to her office. Will argued she needed time to work through this without any distraction. He'd take her out of Chicago, and they would stay for as long as she needed.

Peter was slightly reluctant, but Will reminded him that weeks ago he'd asked for Will's help, and this was him helping. Will said it needed to be him that took her so that the press and secret service wouldn't interfere. Peter knew Will was right. He also knew this was the where the line leading to the end of his marriage would begin.

" _Where will you take her that no one will recognize her, and leave her alone?"_

" _Someplace where there aren't enough people around to recognize her. Call off her security. I don't want anyone, including you, to know where we are."_

" _But what about Grace and Zach?" Alicia asked._

" _You can call them, or they can call you whenever you want. We're not leaving civilization, you and I still have firms to help run. Have Cary help you get together any work material you might need. Then Peter, take her home so she can pack a bag. I'll come get her after I run by the office and my apartment. Once we leave her apartment that's the end of the security."_

" _But what about the accomplice?" Peter asked._

 _He sighed. "For now, that person thinks we've stopped looking for them. I'll call tonight once we arrive at our destination, and the investigation can resume. I'm not bringing her back until they make an arrest. And if the photos get released no one will be able to find her until it's last months news."_

Will brought the car to a stop in front of house among the woods of the Hocking Hills region in Ohio.

"What is this place?" she asked, as they approached the front door.

He pulled out the key to unlock it. "This is my parent's vacation home," he chuckled, as they entered. "The one I told them to get rid of years ago because they rarely make the seven hour drive from Baltimore anymore." He turned and looked at her. "Now, I'm glad they didn't listen."


	17. The First Few Days

Will found Alicia wrapped in a blanket on the deck off the back of the cabin. The sun was just rising over the tops of the tall pine and maple trees that surrounded them. The morning dew beginning to dissipate. He liked city life quite a bit, but it was nice to take in the fresh air of nature for a change. Due to the nature, and hilly terrain of the area, you weren't able to see the surrounding dwellings.

He sat down in the chair next to her, handing her a fresh fruit smoothie he'd just picked up at a local café. The ends of her lips curled up in a shy smile as she took it from him.

"Thank you!"

Will had decided, at least for the first few days, he'd let Alicia take the lead. If she wanted to talk he'd listen, be there for her. If she wanted silence, she would have silence. Neither one knew how the next few days, or even weeks, would turn out. This was new territory. Spending day and night together for an undetermined amount of time, something they would have given an arm for just a few years ago. But this was different. There were no real expectations. They didn't really know how to proceed, or what to do. She was here to recover, process her nightmare. And he was here to help with that process. It was like rehab without therapists or counselors to give them any direction.

Alicia was self-aware enough, that she sensed her emotional well being was on the edge of thin ice. If she moved a few inches in the wrong direction she'd find herself in the depths of despair, and didn't know if she'd be able to pull herself back out of the cold water. It sent chills up her spine realizing now, how close she'd come to such a state of mind. She was certain that Will pulling her out of Chicago, had prevented the last piece of ice from falling out from beneath her feet. She had begun to trust him again, and there was a sense of security in that. But there were still all of their issues from the past two years hovering in the background. Trying to balance the entirety of their situation, and relationship at the same time, was tricky.

Neither one had slept well, despite the quiet the area provided, and the soft pillows and handmade quilts that adorned the beds. She slept in the master, he in the room he'd always slept in.

She needed a day to sit and think, and not be pressured into doing anything - they both did really. Which is why they continued the day in silence, moving simultaneously together throughout the house wondering what the other was thinking. It wasn't strained silence, but the comfortable silence they had once shared.

Her day consisted of hours out on the deck, a quiet lunch that he'd brought out to her, and an attempt at burying herself beneath the soft quilts of her bed to try and take in an afternoon nap - a failed attempt.

His day consisted of trying to concentrate on work that lay in front of him on the laptop, intermixed with sitting with her out on the deck, watching her expressions move from contentment to obvious deep thinking, and then back again.

Once evening grew near, they were both sitting on the comfortable couch in front of the large stone fireplace. Laptops open. Her working, him not working, but reading as many articles on therapeutic methods, do's and don'ts, and blogs on victims of rape, as he could. He wanted to try and get a feel for what she might be going through, and he certainly wanted to know what he shouldn't do.

"I'm going to go pick up some things for dinner." He said, closing the laptop and placing it on the coffee table. "Come with me."

She nodded, closing her laptop. She wasn't the only one that had done a fair amount of reading over the past few weeks. She knew that while being here would be helpful, what she couldn't do was not do anything, and fall into a state of deep depression. So even if she didn't want to, she knew she needed to leave the safe confines of the cabin when he offered.

 **/**

Once back in the up-to-date kitchen that Will's mother had renovated a few years earlier, he told her to go sit, that he would make dinner.

"No, we'll do it together," she said, taking the tomato and knife from his hand. She was worried the silence would bother him, but every time she glanced at him, he just smiled and continued on with what he was doing.

He cleared the dishes, and then joined her standing against the railing of the deck. The evening breeze blowing through her hair as the sun began to fade. He was her silent support. She was fairly certain if he could feel the weight of emotions he was holding up for her at this point, it would be enough to bury him six feet underground. A somewhat terrifying thought for her, because she hated feeling dependent on anyone.

The sun was fading, and she grew nervous. She'd really grown to despise the dark. "I'm going in." She turned to leave, he grasped her hand.

"Stay here. Watch the sunset with me."

She shook her head. "No, I'm going to go shower." He released her hand, and she moved away back into the house. Later they headed to bed, pausing just outside her door.

"Sleep well," he said, squeezing her arm, as he moved past her. She reached out and grabbed onto his hand. He turned to face her, she held her gaze to the hardwood floor beneath her feet.

"Can I sleep with you?" She shyly looked up at him, meeting his confused gaze with her pleading eyes.

"I can't sleep. Not just here, I haven't had a decent night sleep since..." She briefly looked away before meeting his gaze again. "I don't feel safe alone in bed in the dark. I try to wrap the blankets around me tight enough to feel secure, but..." She sighed. "It only works for awhile. I wake up every few hours, and it takes an eternity to get back to sleep. I hate the dark Will, but you know me, I can't sleep with any light on. Maybe if..." She looked away. She hated feeling so insecure, hated feeling like she was so needy, She felt like it was ridiculous, but she was so tired, if she could just get one night of good sleep.

He put a finger to her lips as she tried to continue. "Maybe if someone was next to you... Someone you could trust to protect you, you could sleep?" His dark brown eyes never left her hazel ones. She nodded her head up and down, tears forming in her eyes.

"Yes," she said, in a whisper. And with that the flood gates opened again and she leaned into his shoulder as the tears fell freely once again. He wrapped his arms around her running his hands around in circles on her back to comfort her.

Not long after, she entered his room, and crawled under the covers into his open arms. She loved the feel of the soft cotton of his undershirt against her bare arms. Pierson had ruined some of her good memories of being with him, but he hadn't destroyed all of them. One that remained intact was the comfort of lying next to him in the middle of the night.

Will turned off the lamp, and placed his arm firmly around her as they settled into a comfortable position. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like to hold her, just hold her without any expectations of anything else. This was how it used to be usually hours after making love to her, both to tired to do anything but enjoy each other's nearness.

They lay there in silence for awhile his eyes watching the moonlight dance on her fair skin. She'd been close to sleep, but then opened her eyes again. Her back was up against him so he couldn't see the expression on her face.

"Will"

"Yeah"

"I need you to do something for me."

"Sure, what?"

"I..." Now she didn't want to ask. Didn't know why she'd brought it up. No, she knew why, she was just scared to death of the consequences of what she was about to ask him.

When she didn't continue he lifted himself up onto his elbow. "You what?"

She exhaled. "I'm late."

He didn't know what that meant. "I don't understand."

She rolled over to face him, meeting a confused look on his face. "My period, I'm nearly three weeks late."

He looked away briefly considering what she'd just said. And then the ugly reality of what she'd just said hit him like a ton of bricks. He jerked his head back toward her in shock, yet she remained completely calm, as if it hadn't even rattled her one bit.

"Alicia!"

"I thought it was the stress of everything. But then when I got sick this week..." She looked down towards her stomach that was covered with the quilt. "I can't bring myself to buy a test. But Will I have to know." She held her gaze towards her stomach.

"Alicia what are you going to do if..." Shock still filled him. "You aren't going to keep it? I mean you wouldn't consider..." Just when he thought things couldn't get worse, or more difficult, they had.

She placed a hand on his, turning away from him wrapping his arm around her again. "I can't talk about it right now. I just need you to get me a test. Okay?"

He settled down next to her once again. "Okay"

Thirty minutes later she lay asleep next to him. He could feel the steady pattern of her breath, and the gentle rise and fall of her chest. He now recalled her telling him weeks earlier that Pierson had taken everything from her. He hadn't understood what that had meant at the time, but he knew all too well now. And if she was pregnant, that would also entail even the joy of growing a baby inside of her.

 **/**

The following morning he turned to look at her. She lay sound asleep, buried beneath the soft sheets, the soft porcelain skin of her face the only thing showing. He'd slept well, although he had no clue how, after her revelation. He hadn't felt her stir during the night. He quietly removed himself from the bed, and left her to sleep. He had plans for them once she woke up.

A few hours later she woke to the bright sun shining in her eyes. For the first time in as long as she could remember she felt rested. It had worked. She'd slept the entire night, not waking once. She lifted herself up onto her elbows searching the bed and room for any sign of Will. She glanced at the clock that read 9:00 am.

Just then Will entered the room tray in hand. He set it down on the bedside table. A glass of juice and plate of pancakes sat on top. "Will, you didn't have to," she said, sitting up. "I can come eat downstairs, and I'm not that hungry anyway." The truth was that the thought of food these days was not all that appealing.

He smiled at her. "You need to eat. And it will be awhile before we get back from our hike."

She looked at him skeptically. "Hiking?"

He chuckled. "Don't look so surprised. There are a million good places to go for a decent hike in these hills. And before you say you don't have any good shoes for hiking, I checked, you and my sister Sara have the same shoe size. We keep a cabinet of personal things here locked up, for the rare occasion my parent's decide to rent this place out for a week or two. Sara's shoes will fit you perfectly!"

She stared at him for a few moments, and then looked at the plate full of pancakes. She reached for it, and glanced back to him. "Okay"

Awhile later they were walking along the rim of the steep Cantwell cliffs. An area consisting of steep cliffs, green foliage, wild flowers, and a deep gorge with narrow passageways below. It wasn't a walk in the park kind of trail. There were some areas with loose rock, and a few areas where one had to use caution on the narrow path so you wouldn't plummet to the ground far below. But it wasn't extremely difficult either. Alicia had to admit it was beautiful, and there was something satisfying about conquering the rough terrain.

Will had chosen this area because it was less traveled by visitors, and out of the way from other local tourist attractions. They had hardly seen many people as they descended the switch backs, and rock staircase that led them down into the valley below. They stopped to rest and take in the view once they got to a large overhang that formed a cave, something the area was known for. There were a few more people making their way through this part of the cliff area, so they found a secluded spot to sit for a few minutes.

"Will Gardner the outdoors-man!" she mused, taking a sip of her water.

He smiled sheepishly. "I wish I had more time for it at home."

She nodded in understanding. "Did you ever go backpacking in Europe after law school like we'd talked about?" She glanced over to him. He continued to look out at the jagged, high cliff walls before them.

"I did! Three weeks in Italy!" He shook his head. "A lifetime ago."

"How was it? Did you hike the trail along the Amalfi coast we talked about?"

He sighed and took a sip of his water. "It was amazing! I should have learned some Italian before I went though." He turned and looked at her. "No, I didn't hike the coast."

She was surprised. It was all they had talked about for an entire weekend once. "Why not? We had that entire part of the trek mapped out? That was going to be the first stop."

A sad smile crossed his lips, and he looked away. "I didn't want to do it without my backpacking companion, the one who wanted to see it the most."

Her head nodded up and down, a tinge of guilt swept through her. "We used to have big dreams didn't we? We were going conquer the world. Take down anything in our path."

"The dreams are still there, life just got in the way." He stood and held out his hand for her to take. "Come on, it's going to be hot by the time we hike back out of here."

They began to make their ascent back up to ground level, passing through some narrow passages along the way. There was one portion of the trail where Alicia grew nervous. Not because it was dangerous, but because it felt so familiar to the terrain she'd run through trying to get away from Pierson. Will was in front of her, and out of nowhere two hikers came up behind them rather quickly. The suddenness of it sent waves of anxiety through her, and she grabbed onto Will's hand, forcing him to stop as the hikers went past them. He noticed tiny beads of sweat forming on her brow. Her heart was racing, eyes darting in all directions.

"What's wrong?" he said with concern, seeing the change in her demeanor.

"Just wait. I can't..." She clenched her eyes shut, flashes from that day of running through the woods were rushing through her mind.

He realized what was happening and placed his hands to her arms to steady her. "Alicia, it's okay. You're safe."

"I feel sick."

"Just breathe. Take some deep breaths."

"I can't, I can't breathe." She brought her hands to her chest in a panic.

"Leesh, open your eyes and look at me." He pressed his forehead to hers

She slowly opened her eyes, meeting his gaze.

"Now breathe. There's nothing out here that can hurt you."

It took another minute, but eventually her breathing became calm and even again. He continued to hold his forehead to hers. "I hate this Will. I hate not being in control."

"I know. I'm sorry. Maybe this was a bad idea."

"No, it was a good idea. This is the first time in a long time that I've done something... enjoyable."

The ends of his lips turned up into a smile. He stood straight again, and took her hand to continue their walk. She gripped it tightly the rest of the way back to the car, grabbing onto his arm with her other hand when anyone passed them.

When they got back to the cabin she went to shower, but not before Will pulled out the pregnancy test he'd bought for her. She looked at him like he was holding a sharp edged knife out to her. "Will, I can't."

"Alicia, you need to."

She inhaled. "I know. I just..." She put her hand to her forehead. "This is what hell is like isn't it? Feeling like this all the time." Her stomach was in knots.

"Probably so, and I'm here to walk through hell with you. But you have to take this test, if not for the fetus, then for your own well being." He stepped closer to her.

She put her hands up. "Okay, after I shower." She turned and ascended quickly up the stairs closing the door to her room behind her.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. She wasn't the only one this was taking an emotional toll on.

Twenty minutes later he could still hear the water running, when he heard a loud thud. He began to grow concerned so went to check on her. He could hear the water running through the closed door. He knocked. "Alicia," No response.

"Alicia," he called louder, still no answer. He turned the door knob. It wasn't locked. "Alicia," he called as he entered so she wouldn't be startled. He peered over to the shower. She was huddled on the tiled shower floor, the water pouring over her. Her arms wrapped around her knees, head buried in between her legs. One hand gripped an almost completely used bar of soap. He could now hear her crying.

He didn't know what to do. Should he leave her alone? Should he stay, and try to talk to her? Should he be more blunt, and try to pull her out of the shower? In the end he decided getting her out of the shower was best.

She knew he was there, but she didn't care. She didn't know where this sudden attack of emotions had come from. Probably just the anxiety during the hike, and the overwhelming consequences and decisions she'd have to make if she were pregnant. _Pregnant_ , she couldn't, - didn't want - to wrap her head around the idea.

He turned the water the off and gently took the bar of soap out of her hand. He placed a soft towel around her shoulders and helped her up, wrapping the towel securely around her mid-section. The tears continued to flow as she crumpled into his arms. He led her to the bed. They both sat, and he pulled her into his shoulder.

"I can't do this. It's too much," she said, as the tears began to slow.

"You can. It just takes time. There is no easy way out of all of this." He shifted so he could face her.

A thin line formed across her lips. "What if I'm pregnant? What am I going to do? It makes me sick to think that part of him might be growing inside of me. And the worst part is that it's half me!"

The answer was clear in his mind. "Then you'll abort it."

She sat up straight, her damp hair leaving droplets of water on her shoulders. "But Will, its part me!" She put a hand to her face and stood, wrapping her other around her waist.

He couldn't believe she was even thinking of keeping the child that they didn't even know whether or not existed. He stood and placed his hands on her arms.

"Before we jump to any conclusions we need to know what we're dealing with. You may not be pregnant."

The tears had dried up. She pulled away from him. "Three weeks Will. The thought of food turns my stomach. I'm exhausted, and I've barely done anything the past week. I don't need a test to tell me what I already know. I've been here before – twice!" She was angry now. "What will people say? Grace is almost eighteen. They'll assume it's Peter's, and that it was accident. How will it look if I leave him, pregnant and in the middle of a presidential campaign? There's no way out of this. I'm trapped now. I can't do anything, not without a lot of embarrassment, and hurting people I care about, people I love." She inhaled and began pacing back and forth.

"I don't want to be America's First Lady. I don't want to have to put on a false smile to do another news interview. I don't want to attend another campaign fundraiser, and shake a million hands in the hopes that those people will contribute to Peter's campaign."

"Then don't," he said simply, placing his hands in his pockets.

"It's not that simple!" She stopped moving and looked him in the eye.

"I know it's not. But at some point - now - you need to do what's best for you."

"I love Peter, but I don't want to be the politician's wife anymore. Peter can do good things, for this country. I can't ask him to pull out of the campaign because of me."

"Why not?" He honestly wanted to know. He hadn't understood for years why, or how, she'd stood by him. And even if Peter had never cheated on her seven years ago, wasn't it her turn to be happy, to do what she wanted? He moved back to within inches of her. "When is it your turn to do what's best for Alicia? This isn't how a marriage is supposed to work. One person always taking and the other never having a chance to do what they want."

Part of her knew he was right. Deep down she knew she and Peter would never be what they had once been.

"If Peter really is the best man for the job, people will see that." He placed his hands on her bare arms. "Without you hanging on his shoulder. Eli is good, the best in the country. He could probably get a cartoon character elected President if you gave him the challenge!"

They both got a little laugh out of the comment. "So you think I should divorce Peter?" she asked, in all sincerity.

"I don't think you should make that kind of decision right now. There are mountains of more important issues you're facing right now."

"Like falling apart in the shower?"

"That might be a good place to start. I've been doing some reading. I'm not a trained professional, but there's a form of therapy out there where rape victims recall the events of their attack in detail. And by telling it over and over again, it makes it less scary."

"Exposure therapy," she responded.

"Yes"

"I read about it."

"Alicia, I don't know the extent of your scars. I can't diagnose your feelings, or the anxiety that I've seen in you the past weeks. But maybe if you told me everything, all the details, of the rape, and the murder attempt, maybe it would help. I thought that brining you here allowing you time to process things would be enough. But after today, I don't think it will be. I don't think that a week spent silently processing things is going to work."

She bit her lower lip and looked away, folding her arms across her chest. "You'd really want to walk down that road with me? its hell Will, it really is!"

"Alicia, I don't care. If that's what you need, then it's worth every hot coal. I brought you here so you'd have a fighting chance to deal with it without the added pressures of work, and family. But before we can do any of that, we have to know exactly what we're dealing with." He pulled the pregnancy test out of his pocket. "We have to know everything."

She sighed, and took the box from his hands. "Okay, just let me put on some clothes first."

"Okay, but then no more excuses."

 **/**

 _One minute to go._ One minute until she would know for sure whether her instincts were right or not. She couldn't sit still, so paced back and forth in the bedroom her jeans, and a loose light blue top on. Will sat in the chair opposite from her. It was making him nervous just watching her.

"I'm going to be sick," she said, rubbing her hands together.

Will looked down at his watch, the time was up. She looked at him terrified. "I can't look. You go check," she said desperately. He went into the bathroom and came back out holding the two test sticks in his hand. Two was better than one, just to be certain. She couldn't tell from the expression on his face what the verdict was.

"They're negative!" It took a few seconds to register his words.

"Negative? You mean I'm not?" She was genuinely surprised.

He shook his head. "No, you're not!" A broad smile crossed his lips. An audible gasp fell from her lips, her hand moving to cover it as she fell into his arms. It was difficult to tell who was more relieved as tears of relief crept from her eyes.


	18. One Stormy Night

**A/N; I appreciate all the continued support on this! I think it's necessary to give all of you fair warning about this chapter. Rape is obviously a serious issue to write about. In this chapter Alicia tells Will all. I've done my best to describe the event as descriptively as I could, without making it to descriptive, and having to move to an M rating. This was another heart breaker to write, but I think you'll better understand how exactly Pierson used Will as a weapon. If you don't want to read all the non-gory details, skip ahead to the last few paragraphs. I leave you with a slight cliff-hanger at the end! And I promise, things will be getting better for Alicia after this. Maybe not less complicated, but less painful!**

Alicia grasped onto Will's arm, as she was jolted awake and sat up. Her heart was racing, having been woken from an awful dream by the loud crashes of thunder outside. Trying to regain control over her breathing, her eyes darted around the darkened room. She would have sworn Pierson had been there just moments before. Suddenly another crash of thunder hit, startling her once again.

The sudden tight grip on his arm woke Will. "Alicia, what's wrong?" he questioned, as she removed herself from the bed, and left the room. He got out of bed and followed her down the stairs to the kitchen.

She gripped the faucet tightly with one hand, a glass in the other staring out the window at the pouring rain. She had to blink a few times thinking she had seen Pierson once again staring at her from the other side of the window out in the pouring rain. She clenched her eyes shut as Will approached her.

"Alicia," he took the glass out of her hand that was now trembling, and coaxed her to move to the sofa with him.

"It was just a dream, but I swear Will, it was like he was right here. It must have been the storm that brought it on." She stood and moved to the large windows across the room. "It was raining that night. How could I forget?" she said bitterly. "You see violent attacks on television, or in movies, and it's never quiet. There's always so much noise, music, traffic, things crashing to the ground, the victim struggling and calling for help. Or the sound of someone's fist or foot making contact with the victim. But that's not what it was like. It was so quiet for the most part. All I could hear was the rain - the thunder - and - him. I focused on the rain during the worst of it."

Will had tried to prepare himself for this in the fourteen or so hours since he'd told her to tell him everything. He told himself it was the best thing for her. That he could listen with a caring, non emotional ear. But he was wrong. He silently hoped that the second or third time through this would be easier, because for the moment, he wanted to die right along with her, and she'd barely even begun. A sure sign to him, that no matter how things ended up between them, he would always be able to gain a sense of her emotions when she was near.

He went and stood next to her. Her eyes had become blank, unreadable, void of emotion. It had become her defense mechanism over the past weeks.

Her head slowly turned toward him. She didn't even look like herself, and that was the scariest thing of all. She looked like a complete stranger in her own skin.

She turned her gaze back to the window. "He was so angry about your witness, but the way he looked at me… eyes wondering up and down me, a hungry, lustful thirst in them. He calmed down for a few minutes. He said he'd seen the way I had looked at him in the past few months, that I had flirted with him, and he knew that deep down I wanted to sleep with him. He said Peter deserved to be cheated on again. He said he could pleasure me more than you ever had."

She cocked her head to one side. "Come on Alicia, I don't want to hurt you. We could spend the night together." I told him there was no way I would even consider it, especially after what he'd done to me the previous week."

"He didn't like being told no, did he?" Will turned and leaned against the window.

She shook her head. "No. He pushed me onto the bed and held my wrists down. I tried to push him away, I tried kicking him, but I couldn't get free. He knew I would refuse him, that's why he wore the clothes he did." She stepped away from him folding her arms across her chest. "That's when he covered my mouth and pulled out the gun."

Suddenly her blank expression turned to one of fear. "I froze. Do you know what it's like to have a gun pointed just inches from your head? It's terrifying! And that's when I really believed he was serious about killing me. I was in shock."

Will shook his head, and stepped closer to her.

"He told me to stop fighting him. To not make a sound or he'd rape Grace. Just like he'd raped Maddie, and your witness - just like he was going to rape me, if I didn't do what he wanted," she said angrily.

"I could barely breathe, and then he took his hand off my mouth. He told me to stand up. I was still in shock at what was happening. When I didn't respond to his request, he grabbed my arm and pulled me up. "Have it your way," he said. "I can be rough if that's what you want." A few tears slipped from her eyes. "That's not what I wanted! I didn't – want - any of it!"

"I know." Will stepped in front of her running his hands over her arms.

She looked down. "He put the gun down, I could have run, but – Grace. And then he pulled my clothes off."

Lightening flashed bringing a little more light to the dim early morning light that filtered through the windows, followed by a loud crash of thunder. Alicia's head shot in the direction of the window. "He was rough. He pushed me back down on to the bed taking the breath right out of me. He said he was going to show me exactly what he'd done to the other women, so I'd understand. Understand what?" she said exasperated. "I was terrified, and there wasn't anything I could do or… So I closed my eyes and listened to the rain splattering on the windows, trying not block out the pain."

She continued to tell Will everything. How Pierson had run his hands all over her, hit her a few more times. How hard he'd pressed his hand onto her upper chest when after what had seemed like hours, he'd finally roughly entered her. Will thought that would be the end of it. Surely after all of that, Pierson would have been done torturing her. But that had only been the beginning. Pierson was out to prove a point, to totally ruin her.

She continued, as her body shook, and beads of sweat formed on her forehead. It was agonizing to watch her re-live every moment of this. She'd backed away from him again. He tried to reach out to her a few times, thinking it would help if he held her while she let all of it out. But she avoided his attempts, stepping away, and moving to a new spot in the room each time.

She told him about how Pierson had set up the video recording, and told her to think of him as Will. That he expected her to do things to him that she'd done to Will. And while she did so, he expected her to act like she was enjoying it. That she would put on something sexy, of his choosing, and pleasure him until he was ready to go again.

She looked right into Will's eyes, her features hardened, and her eyes turned cold. "I told him no! That he had proved his point. I told him I understood how important it was for me to win the case, and to keep him out of it. I told him I wouldn't tell anyone what he'd done, and then I told him to leave."

"But he didn't leave, did he?"

Her lips formed a tight, firm line. "No!" She looked down at her bare feet, and brought her hands to her chest. "He climbed back on top of me, and put his hands around my neck. I think he would have killed me then, but he thought better of it just before I would have passed out. He used Grace as a scapegoat again. There was no way I was going to let him do to my daughter what he had just done to me." She shook her head again, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"He said he had some - ideas - for me, if I couldn't think of anything."

"Ideas?" Will was appalled, and quite frankly shocked she'd lived through this.

"Yes. He had read through all the emails we had sent back and forth. At the time, I thought he was just reading from the ones that were released last year. But we know now, he had gained access to all of them from my computer."

Will sighed, and rubbed his hands over his face. "That was not one of the smartest things we ever did."

"Send suggestive email to each other through our work accounts? No, it wasn't! We're lucky none of it showed up anywhere before last year! Especially with David Lee running around getting Kalinda to do his dirty work!"

Will looked back over to her. That was a whole separate discussion they still needed to have, but not now. She turned away from him again and let out an audible sigh. "I performed for him. More than he needed. I'd do one thing, then he'd read something else from the email, "Now do that. Show me exactly how you turned him on." She shook her head in disgust, and grew even more enraged. "He was ready. Why didn't he just stop? Get it over with?"

She looked so hurt and disgusted when she said it. She exhaled, and all of sudden she felt more insecure and overwhelmed than she had during their entire conversation. She moved back to him as tears began to stream down her cheeks.

He reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Because some men have big egos, and they're cruel."

"He wanted to switch roles before he..." She looked down at the floor again as her tears continued. "He still had the dress shirt, and jacket on. He said he wanted to watch me come, that he was gong to play your part. He'd memorized some of the lines from the emails. Things you'd said to me that he knew would have made me weak in the knees at the time." She shook her head wiping at the tears with her hand. She looked back up into Will's eyes. "It's okay Alicia," he said, touching my face, "Just imagine I'm him. Let me pleasure you. Let me see just how he made you feel." She pulled away from Will.

"I was sick. There was no way I was going to let him try and do that to me. I didn't care how much he hurt me, the pain would have been better than allowing him to think I'd gotten any pleasure out what he was doing."

"But he didn't let it go did he?"

"No, and my refusal made him furious. So he ripped off the bra and panties I had on, and then shoved me back onto the bed. He said he was going to hurt me one more time, and that would be it, he would end my life right then and there. And when Grace got up in the morning she'd find me dead. I was so scared. I just…" Her tears turned into sobs as she continued, her arms wrapping tighter around her, as if that would make it easier. "He hit me a few more times, and pointed the gun at my head. I decided anything would be better than dying. So I..." She covered her mouth, her whole being shattered into a million pieces again as she slumped to the floor.

Will was a wreck inside. Anger, sorrow, pain, guilt, this was worse than anything he could have imagined. He knelt down on the floor in front of her, and tried to take her hands. She pulled them away, and wrapped her arms around her legs. "I closed my eyes and focused on the rain. I relaxed as much as I could. It took everything I had to just not think about it." She wiped at her tears, anger had filled her eyes again. "The smile on his face when he knew I was close... His hands all over me as I fell over the edge..." She looked at him with more desperation than he'd ever seen. "Will, I've never felt so violated, or ashamed. I can barely live with myself!"

He moved to a sitting position, placed his hand on hers, and pressed his forehead to hers. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. It was not your fault. You..."

"I'm not finished," she said angrily. "Let me finish!" He held his forehead to hers, but looked down.

"Okay"

She lifted her head from his, but allowed him to keep his hands on her. "After that, he was beyond ready, so... he forced himself on me again, with more force and aggression than the first time. This time his hands and his lips were all over me." She shook her head in near disbelief. "It hurt so much – so much!" She leaned her head forward resting it on his shoulder. Her hands gripped his arms as if her life depended on it. He wrapped his arms around her and let her cry as the rain continued to pour outside.

When the tears had finally slowed, and the Kleenex box was half empty, he helped her back up to bed. She was exhausted, and it was only six in the morning anyway. He wrapped his arm around her tightly as she rested against his chest. "Will, I don't know what to do. I feel lost."

"Don't worry about it right now. We'll figure something out. But Alicia…"

"What?"

"Don't take this the wrong way. We can stay here for as long as you want. I am willing to listen to you retell the story as many times as you need, and I think it will help. But I really think you should consider seeing a professional when we get home."

It took a few moments for her to respond. "You're probably right." The thunder crashed again and she pulled the blankets tightly around her. They were silent for awhile until she spoke up again.

"Will,"

"Hmm,"

"I'm sorry you ever had to get dragged into the middle of this… but thank you." She looked up into his eyes. He returned her gaze with a gentle smile.

"Your welcome!"

He lay awake for some time after she'd fallen back to sleep, listening to the sound of the rain hitting the windows. A storm of emotions was rushing through him. They were in their own little world here. But what would the coming days bring? And what would happen when they went back home? They still worked for opposing firms. And despite everything that had gone on in the past days, they hadn't talked about the past two years of hurting, blaming, even hating each other. Recent events had seemed to calm the waters on that front for the time being, but it still loomed over them.

Awhile later he slipped out of the bed, waking Alicia just enough to tell her he was going for a run. Forty-five minutes later he returned to find her still sound asleep.

He had text messages from Brian, Peter, and Diane.

Brian's informed him they had found the bodies of the missing women. Peter's said the same thing, probably wanting to make sure Alicia knew in case she hadn't seen her own message from him. Diane's was slightly different.

 _They found the bodies of the other women. Whatever you do, don't bring Alicia back here until this gets sorted out. I don't think she's safe, and I'd keep a watchful eye out, even if theoretically, no one knows where you are._


	19. Discovery

**A/N; Thank you for the very sincere reviews after the last chapter! I really appreciate the feedback!**

"How is Alicia?" Diane asked, after filling Will in on all that had gone on the previous day.

"She's..." He sighed heavily.

"Will?" Diane finally spoke when he didn't continue.

"I don't know Diane. Whatever you were imagining he did to her, know it was far worse." Alicia was still sleeping after their early morning thunderstorm wake-up call. And while he did think she was doing better, he had no idea how she would be once she woke up, and realized he now knew everything.

"So she opened up, told you about it?"

"It's not my place to discuss, but if Pierson were still alive, I'd kill him with my own two hands."

Diane sighed. "I was worried it had been worse than we all thought… Will… Cary is worried about her."

"We all are Diane."

"No, he's worried about her… stability."

"Her stability?"

"Yes, should he ask her to take a step down for awhile?"

Will sighed heavily and shook his head. "No, he shouldn't ask her to step down. She's dealing with it, and as soon as it's safe for us to come back, I'm sure she'll be in the office everyday."

"Okay, good, I'll tell him."

"Listen Diane, tell Cary not to worry, I meant every word of it, but I need you to do something for me."

"Is it illegal?" Diane joked.

"No," he chuckled. "Alicia is going to need to see a professional. This isn't going to go away with a few weeks away from everything. Can you find someone who will be - discrete?"

"You mean can I find someone who can keep their mouth shut, and not expose the Governor's wife?"

"Exactly!"

"I'll look into it. I know a few people."

"Thanks, I think she'll be willing to trust your judgment on this."

"And how are you - holding up?" Diane pushed.

"I'm..." He exhaled and looked out the window in the kitchen, running a hand through his hair. Then he heard the creaking of floorboards above him.

"Alicia's up now. I need to go. I'll call you later after I look over the case."

He hung up with Diane, and turned around, just as Alicia entered the room.

"Diane?" she questioned, as she poured herself some coffee.

"Yeah," He continued to keep his eyes on her as she moved around the island, and sat on the barstool.

"I need to call Cary. He's probably wondering where my all of my notes are." She reached out and pulled a few grapes from the bowl in front of her.

"Alicia,"

She looked at him for the first time since she'd come down, and noticed the concerned look in his eyes.

"We need to talk," he said, folding his arms across his chest.

She looked down and bit her lower lip. "Will, if it's about earlier..." She realized how incredibly difficult all of this might be for him. Just hours earlier she'd told him everything, and how could he not feel some guilt, even if it wasn't his fault. She felt guilty for unloading all of it on him. And though she was trusting him again, she felt quite exposed now.

"It's not about earlier." He motioned for her to follow him to the sofa. They were in an awkward place now. It was becoming more difficult to just do what they had been doing the past five days. The real question was exactly that. What were they really doing? And what was it leading too?

The rain was still pouring outside. Alicia wrapped a blanket around herself before sitting - her armor these days, as if a soft layer of fabric could protect her from the world.

"They found the bodies yesterday."

"In the lake?" She had to admit there was some sense of relief in knowing that the FBI would have to admit she was right about the other women.

"No. Not in the lake."

She furrowed her brow in curiosity. "Then where?"

"Not very far from where I found you. Pierson owned the few acres of land we found you on. They didn't catch it sooner, because it was under another alias, just like his house up there was. They found the deed to the land when they went through his office at work a few days ago. In fact they're beginning to wonder if John Pierson actually exits, or if it's just his "stage name". That's another mess they're trying to sort through now."

"So I was wrong about him drowning them? And he just let me believe I was right?"

"No, it does appear as though four of the women died from drowning. Their hands were tied up. They think he drugged them just like he had you, and then convinced them to jump into the water on their own. They were all fully clothed. Once he was sure they were dead, he probably pulled them back out, and then buried them."

She pulled the blanket tightly around her. The thought that it could have been her, sent shiver's up her spine. "That's why he said I would jump into that water on my own free will." She bit her lip and shook her head. "He said, he hadn't killed any of them. That they had done it all on their own."

"Sadly it's not completely wrong. They had his help, and had no way of controlling their own actions, but technically he didn't kill them. If he were alive, they would prosecute him for murder, but he would get a life sentence instead of the death penalty."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. A million things were running through her mind. "What do you mean four of the bodies? There were only four women." She looked back over to him in confusion.

He sighed, and placed a hand on her knee. "They found two other bodies buried near the four you told investigators about."

Her stomach turned sour. "How many women did this guy kill?"

"That's the thing. They don't think Pierson killed the other two. And they're doing a thorough search to make sure there aren't any more."

"What?" she said, furrowing her brow.

"The other two were shot - at close range. And one of the two they think was killed only three weeks ago."

He let her digest that information for a moment before he continued. "The bullets don't match those found in the gun Pierson had. They match the bullet that ultimately killed him. The one you didn't fire at him."

She looked away. "So - the accomplice?"

"It looks like it."

"I don't get it. Why did he shoot Pierson, and not kill me. Especially if he killed two other women?"

"We don't know if it is a he or she. And they think the accomplice left you alive because it was easy to set you up as Pierson's killer. But now that the bodies have been found, and you have pretty much been proven innocent, they'll start looking for the accomplice with more effort." He looked away. "And, once the story breaks, there's a good chance that person will try to come after you."

"Why? I don't know who it is. I haven't done anything to this person?"

"Because, there is a very slim chance you'll get your memory back from that day in the woods. And there's a slim chance you saw whoever it was, and could identify that person."

"And they don't want to be found out." She shook her head.

"Yes"

"If by some miracle I do get some of those memories back, who's to say I would recognize the person?"

"You may not, you probably won't. But you'd be able to give the police a description of the person."

She stood and placed her hands on her hips. "Great, I'm still in danger?" She began to pace, as unease and dread filled her again.

"It's quite possible. So we're going to stay here until..."

"Until when?" She spun around and looked him in the eye. "We can't stay here forever!" She folded her arms. "Not that I'm ready to go back. But Will, we can't avoid life for the next few... weeks, months!"

"I know. But for now we need to keep you here, and let the authorities figure out who the other two women are, and how they may be connected to Pierson." He stood and went to stand next to her. "You're safe here. Let the authorities do their job. I'm sure they'll find this person, and we can go home in another week or so - if you're ready."

"And what if that person finds us first? I have no reason to believe they will find the accomplice!"

"Alicia, no one knows where we are," he said, to reassure her, but he wasn't completely convinced they couldn't be found. "And I'm here. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

She was only partially convinced they couldn't be found either. It was reassuring to have someone with her, but she was still unnerved by the idea that someone might still be out to kill her. And for a completely different reason than the one Pierson had. But of all the places she could be, this was probably one of the safest.

"Okay," she said, defeated as she sat back down on the sofa. "I need a drink, and I have a mess of work that needs to be dealt with before Cary disowns me."

He chuckled. "I'll open the wine. And I better do some work too, or when we get back, Diane and Cary will have dissolved both of our partnerships!"

She laughed under her breath. "It always was those two against us."

"Yeah, when we get back we need to deal with that. I think they talk behind our backs more than we know. And our firms aren't supposed to be friendly with each other!" It was a joke, but there was more to his words than he led on, and they both knew it.

They worked for most of the rest of the day. The rain eventually subsided, leaving an array of colors in the sky as the sun went down. They were sitting on the back deck, and this time Alicia stayed to watch the sunset, instead of barricading herself in safer quarters. She was beginning to feel like fighting again. She realized she had to face some of her fears in order to move past them. Telling Will about the rape, had been excruciating, but she didn't feel so alone anymore.

"Have you ever been rock climbing, or repelling?" she asked, staring out at the fading sun dancing on the lush green terrain in front of them.

"No"

"Are there places around here where one can do those things?"

He turned and looked at her curiously. "Yes, but why?"

"I want to do it!" she said seriously, without looking at him.

He chuckled. "If I remember correctly, you're afraid of heights."

"You remembered correctly!" She took another sip of her wine.

He sat up in his chair. "Both of those activities involve hanging from rope at significant heights!"

"Yes, thank you for pointing out the obvious!" She laughed as she said it. She sat up in her chair, and met his gaze. "I need to do something that makes me nervous, but that I can control – push through."

"And more hiking through scary wooded terrain, something where both of your feet remain on solid ground, won't cut it?"

"I didn't say you had to do it with me. Are you scared?" she teased with a grin slapped across her lips. "I just asked if you knew of any place I could do it!"

"No, I am not scared! We can look into it tomorrow," he said, with a gentle smile. They sat there talking until the sun was completely down. She'd almost forgotten about how the dark made her feel these days, because she'd been so engrossed in their conversation. They were discussing liability involved in adventure tour companies. But then there was a loud rustle of leaves, and what sounded like feet walking in the distance.

She stopped talking mid-sentence, her head shot in the direction of the noise as she grabbed onto Will's arm.

"Alicia, it was just the wind, or a squirrel," he said, placing a hand over hers.

"That sounded bigger than a squirrel," she countered.

"A raccoon," he offered.

She let out her breath, after not seeing, or hearing anything after a few moments. Her nerves began to settle again.

"Come on, let's go inside," he offered, taking her hand. He was ninety-percent certain it had just been the wind, or some small forest animal. But after talking to Diane, even he found himself a little nervous at the thought of someone after Alicia, and what they might do to get to her.


	20. The Wall

**A/N; I apologize for the delay. Thank you so much to all the reviewers for your encouragement! And I'll just apologize now for the last few sentences of this chapter.**

In the following days Will and Alicia did do some rock climbing. In order to remain anonymous as possible, they both used false names. Alicia pulled her hair up, and they both wore hats, and sunglasses. Climbing did make her nervous. Very nervous in fact, once they were more than ten meters off the ground. But there was a sense of strength and accomplishment each day when they made it to the top of a new cliff. The fresh air and exercise was good for clearing ones head for the day.

Alicia brought up the rape, and the events in the days following it, a few more times on her own accord. In ways it was helpful for her to have someone who knew everything, and to have all of it out in the open. It allowed her to talk about it openly, if she felt the need. In other ways, now that he knew everything, she felt very exposed. It wasn't easy to discuss, and flashbacks of those events came at unexpected moments, triggered by very random events. Will could always tell when a flashback came over her. She would become stiff and frozen in what ever it was she was doing, and stare blankly.

Will knew he could try and tell her it wasn't her fault until the end of time, but refrained for the most part. Her sense of hurt, guilt, and shame ran deep, and he knew it would take more than his encouragement to convince her otherwise. He felt his role was to listen, and offer up advice or insight when he felt necessary.

For the most part he felt a great degree of helplessness, despite the current situation they were in. No matter how things turned out once they were back home, he would never regret their time here. It had proven to be beneficial for her – for them – in many ways, despite the fact that there was a possible unknown threat out there. But in their time away he'd seen her relax. She stopped jumping every time he entered the room when she wasn't expecting it. Sleep had seemed restful, instead of wrestles like it had been in their first few days here.

Alicia kept in good contact with Grace, who seemed content spending her days with Peter. In ways the family dynamics were better then they had been in years. Grace always sounded happy on the phone. Grace and Zach had talked more in the previous two weeks than they had in a year. Alicia wondered if she'd made a mistake in not pushing the kids to spend more time with their father when they had separated all those years back.

Alicia and Peter were even able to have a discussion on the phone without making snide remarks to the other, and he seemed genuinely interested in how she was doing.

Whenever she and Will were out climbing, on an evening walk, or at a local shop, Will kept a watchful eye out for any imminent danger. Although it was difficult when he didn't know who or what he was looking for. Alicia remained very cautious, always keeping Will within her line of sight when they were out somewhere if he wasn't right next to her. There were a few instances when they were out walking, and once when they were in a local shop, where Alicia would have what she presumed was a slight anxiety attack, and would think she had seen Pierson for a few brief moments. In all of these instances she grasped onto Will's hand and closed her eyes until the image went away.

Back in Chicago, police and the FBI worked to find a link between the anonymous two bodies, and Pierson. They kept running into dead ends. One of the women had been missing for about a year. She'd gone running one day while on vacation near the area where the bodies had been found, and had never returned. The other woman, the one that had only been dead for a few weeks, was a tech company executive from New York. They looked through Pierson's business transactions, and talked to Mike, to see if they could find a connection. The only link they came up with was that the womans fingerprints were the only others pulled from Pierson's secret office. Mike claimed he didn't know her, and they couldn't find any connections through business, or in Pierson's personal files.

The accomplice hadn't made another move since the photos had been sent to Peter. The FBI figured the accomplice obviously knew this woman, and had killed her. But why they couldn't figure out. And why had he killed the other woman on vacation? How it was all related to Alicia, was still a mystery.

In some ways things were going almost too well for Will and Alicia. As each day passed, life seemed more like a vacation, than a chance to recover and regroup. They had been at the cabin for nearly two weeks, and on the morning of their last climb they decided to go home in three days time. Neither knew the rollercoaster of stressful emotional events that would unfold during their last days away when their feet left the ground for that last climb early in the morning.

They were near the end of the climb. Will and their guide were slightly ahead of her. This was the highest of the cliffs they had scaled, and was next to a waterfall. Once at the top they would be rewarded with some spectacular views.

Before one came to the top of the jagged rock cliff, there was a slight overhang that had to be maneuvered around, and over, to get to the top. Alicia took a brief break before venturing around the wall to the top. Assuring Will and the guide she would be fine, and follow in five minutes. She watched as they went around the bend, and out of sight. She was thrilled to have made it this far, all the while avoiding looking at the ground where the waterfall pooled and ran into the stream below.

She looked around at the high jagged cliff walls and trees that surrounded her, and knew that once she made it to the top of this cliff she would have overcome one of her fears. The three of them had been the only visible climbers in the early morning, and she enjoyed the sound of the rushing water, and birds in the distance.

"Elizabeth, are you coming?" Will shouted, from the top.

She chuckled at his use of her false name. "Yes, on my way," she hollered back. She focused her attention back to the path Will and their guide had taken. But just as she went to climb again she heard the sound of someone else climbing near by. Odd since they hadn't seen anyone else all morning. Adrenaline began to pulse through her as her eyes darted in all directions. She heard the noise again, seemingly closer, but couldn't see anyone. Without thinking she looked down below her, and immediately felt nauseous, her head spinning. She closed her eyes and gripped tightly to the climbing rope, and rock wall in front of her, almost paralyzed.

 _Its okay Alicia, breathe. Calm down and look up. There's no one there._ She tried to tell herself. She heard the noise again and opened her eyes looking to her left towards the sound. There was someone there – she thought – when another flashback hit, causing her to lose her grip on the rope slightly. She began to slide downward and screamed.

When they heard her scream, Will looked at their guide terrified, rushing back to the edge of the cliff. The guide immediately began descending. Will right behind him.

She managed to stop herself from falling just below where she'd slipped. She now felt paralyzed up against cold ridged surface of the rock wall.

"You okay?" the guide asked, reaching out for her arm.

"No," she admitted, eyes still clenched shut.

Will made his way to where they were. "Leesh, your alright. You're almost there." The guide looked at him slightly funny. Will had slipped up on their false identities. "Take a few deep breaths, and climb up in front of us."

"I don't know if I can. I'm shaking too much,' she said, her voice shaky. _Fight this Alicia. Don't let fear win. Don't let – him – win._ The thoughts ran through her mind as she opened her eyes and looked over to Will.

"Here, take my hand," he offered, reaching his arm towards her. She looked back to where she'd seen the other climber. There was no sign of anyone else on the cliff front, other than the three of them. Another flashback, this time coming close to ending her life. Or had it been a flashback? Had there been someone there following her? She brushed the thought aside, looking back over to Will. All she wanted was to place her two feet on solid ground again.

Once they reached the top she wrapped her arms tightly around Will's neck, and buried her head into his shoulder. Relief flooded through both of them. A few moments later he pulled back and looked her in the eye.

"You did it!" a proud grin across his lips.

A few tears streamed from her eyes. "No, we both did it!" They took in the view resting for a time before hiking back out of the area.

* * *

"I think this calls for celebration!" he said, as they drove back towards the cabin.

"It'll have to wait until tonight. I have work that has to be done today," she said flatly, staring out the passenger window.

"What happened?" he asked. The light mood abruptly changed.

"It happened again," she said, turning to look at him. "Did you happen to see anyone else climbing while we were there today?"

He sighed. "No"

She shook her head and looked away. "This has to end. It's the fourth time in the past week, where I've… blacked out. But it feels so real, like he's right there – or – someone's there."

"No one's there, no one's been there." He pulled to the side of the road, and turned to look at her. "Alicia, you were brutally attacked – twice in one week. It's fair, and I would think completely normal, to have… these flashes of memory. I know I've said this before, but it will take time. And when we get back you can meet with the psychologist Diane found - if you're comfortable with that. If not, you can find someone else. My point is that I'm not going to let anything happen to you while we're here. And no one is going to let anything happen to you when we get home."

She nodded, and looked away. "What if I can't be a lawyer anymore?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if I can't handle being in a court room? What if I can't - do my job without...?" She sighed and got out of the car. He followed right behind her to a nearby tree. "There is no guarantee the same thing won't happen again. I don't know if I can take on new clients without wondering every single day if they're going to threaten me."

She turned to face him. "The thought of being in my office makes me nervous," she admitted. "What if I can't do my job anymore? We're going home in two days, and then what? Things just go back to the way they were?"

He turned away from her slightly staring at nothing really. "I don't know," he admitted honestly. "But there is no doubt in my mind that you'll still be able to do your job. You may have moments, but…" he sighed. "You're as good, or better, than you've ever been."

They stood in silence. There had been a few times over the past few weeks where she wondered how his confidence in her could be greater than her own, and this was one of them. She watched as he turned and walked back towards the car. Suddenly she realized how much of her burden she'd placed on his shoulders, and he'd received nothing in return. He'd held her up for the past two weeks – selflessly – all the while carrying what she could only imagine was a huge burden of his own - brought on only by her.

They rode in silence the remainder of the way. He remained quiet for the better part of the day, and she didn't push any sort of conversation. As the hours went on she grew increasingly curious as to what he was thinking about. She had no idea how to rectify, or repay him for all he'd done in the past – few months really.

* * *

Come nightfall he seemed to have snapped out of his stupor, and suggested they play some games. It went on for a few hours – their competitive personalities unable to let the other walk away the winner.

They finally agreed to one more card game.

"Best two out of three, wins it all!" Will said, dealing out the cards.

"Oh, you are so going down!" Alicia teased, reaching for her cards. "Your record at beating me at cards is pretty sad." She raised a brow at him, and a memory flooded back to his mind.

"This is different. I used to let you win!" His gaze turned back to the cards in front of him.

She laughed. "You did not. If anything you had _more_ incentive to win back then."

"No, I liked to see your reaction after every hand when I had to remove another article of clothing." He looked up at her. "That was better than winning!"

"Better than watching me remove an article of clothing?" she questioned skeptically. "Because as I remember it, you never passed up an opportunity to watch me remove clothing!"

His lips curved into a sheepish smile, but his eyes shown a glimpse of sadness. "You're right, but I loved the look of joy, and smile on your face when you won."

Silence filled the room as they stared into each others eyes. Finally she looked away. "Best two out of three. And no losing on purpose." She picked her cards back up and placed her first one on the table. The brief awkwardness of the moment passed, and by the end of the three rounds Alicia had won fare and square. Will pretended to be upset. She called his bluff, and after another drink they were laughing about it hysterically.

Once they had both calmed down they sat in silence again. She looked over to him from the couch where she was laying. He was in the oversized chair across from her, and looked to be deep in thought. The same look of concentration across his features that had been there all afternoon.

"Penny for your thoughts!" she said sleepily.

He looked over to her, a gentle smile crossing his lips. "It's nothing, I'm just tired," he said, leaning back in the chair looking at his watch. "It's already one in the morning."

"I might be too tired to walk up the stairs to bed," she said, closing her eyes.

He stood and walked over to her. "Come on, your back will ache for a week if you sleep on that couch." He reached out for her hand.

She stood, and they headed up the stairs. "I take it you know that from experience?"

He chuckled. "All to well!"

* * *

She lay in bed alone, unable to sleep. The previous night she told Will she thought she should try sleeping alone again, since they would be home in a few days. Her thoughts were turned to the brief recollection of the past just an hour earlier. She'd noticed the hint of sadness in his eyes when she'd brought it up. She didn't know what it meant. Did he think they could never reconcile completely? Or was he hoping for more at some point again? Here they were on good terms, very good terms. It had almost seemed as though the past two years had washed away, or never existed. But it had, and it was still a brick wall between them. She knew they had to get rid of that wall, no matter the outcome, before they went home. There was no other way for either of them to really move on with their lives, either together or apart, if they didn't. As she drifted to sleep she made a decision that in the morning she'd bring it up, and insist they have the talk they'd needed to have for far too long.

But she wouldn't be afforded that chance in the following day. In the early hours of the morning, before the sun rose, she was mid-dream, the events of that last day with Pierson rushing through her mind. _Pierson placed his hand over her mouth when he'd caught up to he, pushing her into the ground._

She screamed and woke in a cold sweat. As her eyes darted around the room, she realized someone was standing over her. Her heart started racing, as a hand quickly covered her mouth to prevent her from screaming again.


	21. The Final Defense

Will was still awake an hour after he and Alicia had gone to bed. He hoped she was sleeping better than he was. He'd been deep in thought for most of the day after their climb. Alicia had brought up the issue of what would happen when they returned to Chicago, and to be honest, he didn't have a good answer. When he brought her here two weeks earlier, his only intentions, other than allowing her time to heal, had been to become friends again. Find a way for them to trust each other, and patch up the old wounds. He cared for her – genuinely – but after all that had happened, he didn't know if they had any chance of a romantic future together.

Over the past two weeks he found himself falling in love with her all over again, something he vowed nearly two years earlier, he'd never do again. But who was he kidding? He was falling in love, or really just being reminded, of the one person he'd loved for twenty-three years. Yet, she was still married, still not available - not really. And after all she'd been through; he didn't know if she'd ever really be able to love him back.

His mind wandered back to the events of the day. He hoped he hadn't worried her with all of his silence. He'd tried to remain attentive, pretending to listen when all he was really doing was watching her many expressions. He'd watched her concentrate on her work. Listened to her be bitterly honest with Cary about a client. He loved how he could tell she was standing her ground without hearing the other end of the conversation.

His mind then turned to their card game, and the brief recollection of their past. Then to the now empty spot in the bed next to him. He'd watched her sleep over the past few weeks. Something he hadn't done in years, but something that at the time, he never thought he'd get enough of. A time when things were complicated, but less messy. A time before two more elections, one of her own, and their bitter war. A time before they both had wounds that may never fully heal. A time before she made her choice to be with Peter again, but had kissed him anyway because - " _I can't figure my way out of this one"_.

He worried he was setting himself up for heart ache again, filled with false hope that she'd choose him at some point. But he didn't care. Could they have a future? He didn't dare ask, and he knew she wouldn't have an honest answer. How could she in the middle of such trauma? As his eyes grew heavy, for the first time in their, twenty how ever many years, he was okay with not knowing the answer. After all of this, he didn't think about the future in terms of months or years anymore. All that mattered was the next day, and then the next, and the next. This time everything had to be taken one day at a time.

* * *

He was startled awake by a loud crash - he listened intently as he got out of bed.

"Will!" Alicia yelled. He hurried down the hall towards her room in the dark. Just as he reached it, a figure bumped into him, causing him to crash against the wall. The large figure raced past him and down the stairs. Adrenaline kicking in, Will ran after the man in the hoodie out the front door. They were down the street a bit when the man ran into the trees to the side of the road. Will stopped, and turned back to the cabin. In the dark, and without shoes, it would be nearly impossible to keep up with the imposter. He also realized he'd left Alicia alone, not knowing if there had been anyone else in the house.

"Alicia," he called, when he entered the cabin, locking the door behind him. She didn't answer. He rushed up the stairs, and entered her room. She was on the bed, arms wrapped around her knees, shaking. She looked terrified. He moved carefully around the pieces of broken glass from the lamp that was now shattered on the floor, and sat next to her. He placed his hands on hers that were trembling. "Who was it?" she said, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I don't know. Are you all right?"

"No, I am not all right!" She pulled her hands from his and stood wrapping her arms around her chest. It was then he noticed the red marks around her neck.

"Alicia," he rushed next to her, brushing back the hair from her neck. "What happened?"

"I woke up from a dream, and he was standing over me. He put a hand over my mouth, and his arm around my neck." Her hand instinctively moved to her sore neck. "He tried to strangle me." She paced around the room, taking in some deep breaths. "I tried to fight him off, and managed to knock the lamp onto the floor. It startled him, and gave me a chance to call for you." She stopped and looked at him. "I'm scared to death Will!" she said angrily. "We're supposed to be safe here. How did," she threw her arms in the air in frustration. "Whoever that was, find us?"

He moved over to her, wrapping his arms securely around her. "What do they want?" she continued in a raised tone, tears streaming down her face. "I didn't do anything. Why can't they just leave me alone? Why is this happening?" She crumpled into his embrace. "Why?"

"I don't know, but you're safe now. We have to go home today. I'm worried I can't protect you on my own, especially if he comes back with a gun."

"I can't stop shaking," she confessed. "I feel like my heart is going to leap right out of my body." His embrace tightened around her. "Make it go away," she pleaded, her head buried into his shoulder, as her nerves finally began to calm some. "Please, just make it all go away."

* * *

An hour later they had begun to pack. Will called Brian and told him of the events of the morning, and that they were headed home in a few hours. Alicia was in the kitchen cutting some fruit for breakfast. Not in much better condition than she had been an hour earlier. Her mind wandered for a brief moment, and she missed the apple she was cutting into, nipping the side of her finger. Will had his back turned to her, but was saying something about the security planned for when they returned.

The sight of the blood running from her finger brought with it a flash of memory, and a bout of nausea. She froze unable to move.

When she didn't respond to Will's question, he turned to look at her. Noticing the blood coming from her finger, he hurried over to her, grasped her hand, and forced her to move to the sink. She continued to stare at the blood, almost in a trance.

"Alicia," he said, turning the water on. She inhaled deeply, as if she'd been holding her breath, and looked up at him. "I'm going to be sick!"

She grew pale as she pulled out of his grasp and headed for the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

A few minutes later she emerged, a towel wrapped around her finger. "I know who it is," she declared, walking back over to the sink where Will had the first-aid kit out. He took a hold of her hand, removing the towel, and got to work on the wound.

"You know who, who is?"

"Pierson's accomplice. I don't know why I didn't see it before, all this time I thought I was seeing things. But I wasn't. He's been here for at least a week.

"Who has?" He had her move to the bar stool before he bandaged her finger.

"Mike"

He looked up into her eyes. She could see the doubt written all over him.

"I remembered."

He looked confused.

"When I saw the blood just now," she said, to clarify. She turned her gaze towards the window. "That last day Pierson was kneeling over me, trying to get my clothes off. I was trying, in vain, to push him off of me. But he stopped abruptly and looked up at something. That's when I felt the gun and pulled it out. I barely had control over my limbs at that point. I don't know how I managed to pull the trigger. After I shot him he looked back down at me - he was shocked, and angry. He pulled the gun out of my hand. I must have blacked out for a few minutes because when I opened my eyes again, someone was laying Pierson on top of me." She shook her head. "There was so much blood."

Will knew all to well how much blood there had been.

"I looked up. I couldn't see much other than the trees above. Then I saw him – Mike. I was cold, I asked him to help. But he turned and walked away." She looked back at Will. "I kept calling for help, but the footsteps got further and further away."

"Are you sure it wasn't Pierson you were seeing? I can't believe Mike, would shoot his brother, and then leave you there. And didn't you just talk to Mike on the phone two days ago? How could he have been here all week?"

"Yes, I'm sure it was him. On the phone he said he was at some convention in Florida. But I'll bet he's been here for at least a week. That's why I kept thinking I was seeing Pierson, he had his Pierson disguise on."

"Didn't the FBI question him when they found the bodies? And how could he have found us?"

"I don't know. The FBI never said if they had questioned him in person. And it was just over a week ago. If he's the accomplice It would make sense that he would know where Pierson buried his victims. And that he knew that Pierson was planning on taking me there that day." She looked back to Will, who had finished up the bandage on her finger.

"A few weeks after Pierson died, Mike was in my office, to go over the appeal. He asked me if I knew if Pierson had suffered very long after I shot him. I couldn't figure out why, after everything Pierson had done to me, he would ask such a thing. He put on a pretty good act, pretending to be so concerned about his brother. I bet he was just making sure I couldn't identify him as the real shooter."

"He would have had access to Pierson's office, and the photos," Will added. "But why? Why would he kill Pierson instead of turning him in?"

"I don't know. We need to call Brian again," she said.

Will pulled out his phone, and dialed.

* * *

Two hours later they were putting the last of their things in the car. Will had gone back in to make sure everything was locked up. It hadn't taken long, but when he returned Alicia was gone. Panic set in as he rushed around the house calling for her. He stopped in the back of the house looking in all directions. He decided to head down the narrow dirt path that led into the trees beyond, pulling out his phone. _How could I have been so stupid as to leave her alone?_ Adrenaline continued to rush through him as he continued to run down the path.

Mike had the gun pointed at Alicia's back as he forced her to continue running down the path. "I defended you. I stood up for you!" she said, angrily. "Why did you do it?"

"I didn't want to get you involved. But you were so stubborn. You weren't like the other women. John had to fight you on everything. But then I realized that was my way out."

"Your way out of what?"

"John was devastated when Karen cheated on him. He couldn't forgive her."

"So he killed her," she said, flatly.

"When he took me on as a partner he made me swear on the life of my wife I would never tell another soul what he was about to tell me. I needed the money, I'd lost my job six months prior, Vicki and I were about to be evicted from our home, and we had a six month old baby. I couldn't let them live on the street. So I agreed. He told me about Karen, and said he just couldn't face the public without her. So I'd pretend to be him if there was an event he didn't want to attend, simple things like that. But a year later he asked more of me. I was trapped. He said he'd kill Vicki, if I didn't do what he wanted. After he slept with each woman for the last time, he'd drug them, like he drugged you. He'd take them to the cove where he took you, and because they were unaware of what they were doing, they'd jump into the water on their own. He tied their hands up so he could pull them back out of the water once they were dead. Then it was my turn. It was my job to bury them. It made me sick knowing what he was doing."

"Why didn't you go to the police?"

"Because he claimed he could make it look like I was the one who had killed them."

"So you continued to go along with his charade?" she said, disgustedly.

"Yes,"

"So why leave me alive, and kill him?"

"I was tired of it. I didn't want to do it anymore. I didn't want to live the lie anymore. He set things up to make it look like you were the crazy one in love with him. His plan was to make your death look like self defense. He didn't ask me to come bury your body that day. He was going to have you jump in to that lake, pull you out, then take you back to the house and call the authorities. He wasn't expecting me to be there that day. I took him by surprise. You shot him once in the stomach. I was behind him, and when he heard me, he stood, but I shot him before he could turn around. He fell over. It was a clean shot, and didn't take long for him to die. I shot him one more time in the shoulder from the front with the gun you had used to make it look like you had killed him. Then I moved him back on top of you. I wasn't sure if you had seen me, you were pretty out of it."

"So why kill me now?"

"I looked into it – the chances of recalling memories after the effects of the drug wore off. There was a slight chance you would eventually remember what had happened. Then you would tell the authorities. You're the only one who can identify me as the shooter."

They came to a river bank, and stopped. She turned to face him. He stepped closer to her the gun pointed right at her head. She tried to remain composed, but she was terrified inside. "I can't allow you tell anyone it was me."

She glared right into his eyes, just like she always had with Pierson. "I did remember. And I already told them," she spat back. "Every police station in the Eastern half of the United States has your photo on file right now."

"Good thing I have a disguise, and a few false identities I can use to get out of the country then."

"Turn around." He waved the gun in front of her.

"No! Who were the other women with Pierson's victims? Why did you kill them?"

He sighed. "You ask too many questions. Get into the raft."

She turned towards the water, noticing for the first time the rhe raft that sat at the riverbank. "No, not until you tell me who the other women were." She was stalling for time now, in the hopes that Will would catch up to them.

"Fine! Emily trespassed onto Pierson's property. I don't think she realized she'd trespassed. When she saw me burying John's last vicitm, I couldn't let her go."

"And the other woman?"

"She was," he hesitated, a distant look in his eyes.

"You were sleeping with her weren't you? You, the devoted husband, the one I defended as such, had an affair!" she shook her head, and rolled her eyes.

"It didn't start out like that. John hired her - off the books - to help him with research and surveillance on his victims. She didn't know what he was really up to, until I took her to his office in your building a few days after he died. A year ago she and I…" he sighed. "She loved me, but it was just fun for me. I told her I wanted to break it off a few days after she'd cleaned the files from the computer and printed the photos of you and John."

"She thought you'd used her." Alicia folded her arms across her chest.

"Yes"

"Then why kill her?"

"I love my wife Alicia, you know that. After I killed John I realized how lucky I was to have her. I thought the photos of you and John would put an end to the investigation into the accomplice, and I could get back to my life. So I tried to break things off with Andrea, but she threatened to turn me in if I left her."

"My life's been turned upside down because of you!"

"Turn around Alicia. Get on the raft. We're done talking." The gun was still pointed right at her.

"No, if you're going to kill me, you're going to look me in the eye when you pull that trigger, and do it here. Not after we've floated down river in a weak attempt at getting away with it."

Will caught up to them, along with two FBI agents, that had nearly scared him half to death when they emerged from the trees in front of him along the trail. Unbeknownst to Will and Alicia, they had been keeping an eye on the two since they'd left Chicago from the cabin just down the road from Will. Will wanted to know how, and why, but getting Alicia to safety was more important. They held back among the trees to listen. Will moved around the perimeter to get closer to Alicia.

"Fine," Mike waved the gun, stepping closer to her. Will was now within a few feet of her. Just as Mike cocked the gun Will jumped out in front of Alicia knocking her to the ground taking the bullet in his shoulder. Simultaneously, there were two more shots fired through the trees that struck Mike, causing him to fall to the ground.

"Will!" Alicia screamed, sitting up, grabbing onto him. Her heart was pounding, hands shaking. "Will" tears began to stream down her cheeks.

 **A/N; I know another cliffhanger. I am sorry, but this was a good breaking point. Thank you for all passionate reviews after that last chapter!**


	22. Bittersweet

Alicia barely had time to realize what was going on around her, One minute she'd been staring down the barrel of a gun, the next, Will was lying next to her blood streaming from – she couldn't tell where – it seemed to be everywhere. Her head was pounding. Everything was spinning as she tried to sit up. She placed a shaky hand on Will's shoulder where she decided his wound must be.

"Will," her voice wavering, as tears began to stream down her cheeks.

Two people moved quickly around her. One replaced her blood stained hands with his own, over Will's wound. The other, a woman, was trying to get her to respond to questions, but Alicia's body was quickly moving into a state of emotional and physical shock.

"Alicia, I need you to answer me," the gentle, but urgent voice next to her. "Are you hurt?" The woman wearing the FBI vest turned to her partner. "She's going into shock."

"Lay her back down, and elevate her feet," the man responded.

She felt nauseous, breathing was becoming more difficult - or was it just her? Had she been shot? She didn't think so, but her body was shutting down.

She couldn't keep her eyes off Will, as the woman helped her lie down, elevating her feet. She tried calling for him again, but couldn't force any sound to leave her lips.

She lost track of time, feeling as if she were stuck in one place, her world crumbling all around her, while the rest of the world continued on as if nothing were wrong. Heavier and heavier the weight of her soul became. If Will died she would never forgive herself, she would never be able to move on.

At some point she was being lifted onto a stretcher and carried away from the scene, and Will. She glanced down at her blood stained hands - the image of which would never disappear if he didn't pull through. They moved past Mike. She couldn't tell for sure, but he wasn't moving either, blood stained clothes.

 _He must be dead too._ She thought to herself. So much death, so much blood, and so much pain in the past few months it was unbearable. She wanted to close her eyes and never have to open them again. Every time she tried, someone would prevent her from falling asleep.

Just as she felt her whole body giving up, memories from the past few weeks swept through her mind. It was only her sense that things could – had – been better, and Will's encouragement, that gave her the little strength she needed to hold on. Once inside the ambulance an oxygen mask was placed over her mouth. Her lungs finally began to fill with air again.

* * *

When they reached the hospital they started an IV, and left her alone in the exam room for a few minutes. Slowly she began to feel less hazy, and became more aware of her surroundings. Where was Will? The only question on her mind as a doctor and nurse entered the room and approached her.

In the back of her mind she knew she didn't have reason to fear these two people. But as soon as a hand was lifted towards her shoulder she instinctively reached up to prevent it from touching her. Without a familiar face near by, she felt less secure, more vulnerable.

"Mrs. Florrick, it's okay. I just want to make sure that bump on the back of your head is all right," the doctor encouraged.

She was still having difficulty processing, but realized that must be the reason for her pounding headache, and dizziness as she tried to sit up. Placing a hand at the back of her head where the pain was the worst, she found a large swollen spot. She nodded, and he moved the hair at the back of her head.

"No open wound, that's good," he commented.

He continued the exam, looking in her ears, checking her eyes, and scratch marks left by Mike on her neck just hours before. Asking her what she viewed, as ridiculous questions. But when he moved the stethoscope to her chest she nearly jumped off the bed. The doctor was startled, at her sudden movement, and backed away. She took a few deep breaths to get the brush of anxiety under control. "Doctor, I'll be fine. If you could just get something for this headache I'd appreciate it," she said, collapsing against the pillows behind her.

"I'd be happy too, but I really should check to make sure you don't have any other injuries. We're going to monitor you for awhile. You've been in shock, and have a mild concussion sustained when your head hit a large rock." He moved closer to her again.

"No!" Her arms moved in front of her to prevent him from getting any closer.

"Mrs. Florrick, please,"

She tried sitting up again, but everything began spinning. She closed her eyes, and lay back down. "Okay," she said, giving in.

"Where's Will?" she questioned, allowing the doctor to check her heart rate, and blood pressure.

"They flew him to a hospital in Columbus," a female voice came from behind the doctor. The FBI agent that had been there right after the shooting had appeared again.

"He isn't here?" She felt her heart constrict, a feeling of worry, and loneliness came over her.

"No, his injury was too severe."

"Too severe, is he dead?"

"No, he's probably going into surgery right now."

"Who are you anyway?" Alicia shot back. She didn't like the fact that Will was in a completely different hospital an hour away from her. And she couldn't figure out how these two FBI agents had come out of nowhere.

"My partner and I were assigned to protect you and Will. We followed you from Chicago two weeks ago."

Emotions ran high. Alicia shook her head. "Who gave you permission to follow us? The deal was we were to be left alone once we left my apartment that afternoon. You've been following us for two weeks, from where?"

"Just keeping an eye out, and the cabin down the street from Will's."

Alicia glared at the woman standing at the foot of her bed, as the doctor left to get her some medication. "Alicia, I can understand how upset you are, but there was no way the FBI was going to just let you disappear. If we hadn't been here, you and Will might both be dead now."

Alicia looked away briefly. "I appreciate that, but you cannot possibly understand how upset I am right now!"

"You're probably right. I'm sorry." She moved around the bed. "You should rest. I promise to keep you updated on Will, and your husband is on his way. They're flying him in from Chicago."

"Peter's coming?"

"Yes, he'll be here within a few hours."

Unable to fight the throbbing pain at the back of her head any longer, she turned away from the agent, pulling the blanket over her, closing her eyes. Even if the press got a hold of this, and stationed themselves outside the hospital, she was grateful Peter was coming.

* * *

She woke sometime later, to the sound of whispering voices. Peter was standing at the foot of her bed talking with the doctor. It may have been the stress of the day, or relief of having someone there she knew, overcome with emotion she burst into tears as soon as she saw him.

"Peter"

He rushed to the side of the bed sitting gently next to her. She sat up wrapping her arms around his neck, holding on for dear life. He returned the gesture tightening his grasp around her, as she buried her head into his shoulder.

The doctor left them alone. "Are you okay?" Peter asked, running his hands up and down her back to comfort her. "I'm so sorry. It must have been terrifying for you."

Her tears let up some as she looked up at him. "I'm fine, I think. Peter, get me out of here. Please!"

"Alicia, they want to keep you here awhile longer, to make sure everything is okay."

"Peter, please. I hate hospitals. I'll rest, I promise, just get me out of here!"

A gentle smile crossed his lips. "I'll see what I can do, but I'm taking you straight to a hotel, and you're going to rest."

"Okay"

Peter stood, and moved towards the door.

"Peter,"

He turned and faced her again.

"Have you heard anything on Will?" She held her breath, fearing the worst.

"Diane's there. She flew out here with me. He's still in surgery."

She sighed. "Thank you" she said, in a whisper.

* * *

In the early evening Alicia sat against Peter in the hotel bed. She had slept most of the time since they'd arrived. The pain at the back of her head had finally subsided.

Will had been out of surgery for a few hours. Alicia's desire to be at the hospital with him was great. As was her fear of facing him again. The amount of guilt she felt over the fact that he had taken a bullet for her was enormous. At the same time, it meant more to her than she felt she could ever express to him. Surgery had gone well, although he'd be in the hospital for three or four days. His arm would be in a sling for six to eight weeks.

She and Peter talked about Grace, and the college tour she had planned for the following month. Peter mentioned Zach had called, and that his summer internship had turned into a paid position for the rest of the summer.

"Can you believe they're all grown up?" Alicia said, taking the last bite of her room service dinner.

"It went by so fast," Peter replied, with a slight nod.

"Another year and Grace will leave home," Alicia commented.

"Yeah" Peter had become quiet, distant.

"Everything okay?" Alicia said, looking up at him.

He sighed. "I'm going to pull out of the race."

Alicia sat up, and turned to face him. "Peter, if this because of me…"

"Alicia, it's the right thing to do."

"Peter this is what you've always wanted." She didn't know whether to feel relief or guilt.

He smiled, placing his hands on her arms. "What I always wanted was the Presidency. I don't want to be the VP, not right now. I don't have enough experience to gain the presidency yet. Eli's run the numbers. In all the scenarios I end up coming in third."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'll finish out the Governorship. Maybe run for senate or Governor again when my term is up. Eight years from now, I can make another run for President."

This side of Peter was the side she'd fallen in love all those years ago. "Are you sure you're not just doing this because of me?"

"No, this is not because of you. We've had some tough years Alicia. After all that's happened in recent months, I've had to take a step back, slow down for awhile." He looked down briefly, silence filled the room.

"I love you," he said, returning his gaze to hers. "I will always love you, but we aren't ever going to have what we once had. The past seven years have changed both of us. Whether that's good or bad, I don't know."

"Peter, what are you saying?" Her heart felt heavy.

"I think it's time Alicia," he said, taking her hands into his.

He didn't have to spell it out. They both knew what he meant. She looked down at their entwined fingers, and the rings that sat on each. Shaking her head, the all too familiar lump in her throat was threatening.

"I'm here for you. I want to support you, in any way that I can. You have a long road ahead of you, with therapy and everything. And I'll support you through that in any way I can. If you want to announce the divorce in a few days, or if wait a few months, I'm okay with whatever you want. But we're holding each other back. It's time for us to move on with our lives."

She nodded in agreement.

"I want this to be amicable. I still want to see you occasionally, have lunch sometimes. And I want both of us to be involved with the kid's lives. But it's time."

Tears sprang from her eyes. "Okay" She leaned into his embrace, and let him hold her. She pulled away once the tears had subsided. "What about the kids?"

He smiled. "I don't think it will be any big surprise to either of them. They're grown, they don't need us like they used to."

"And you and I have gotten along better than we have in a long time being apart!" she added, the past year as her evidence.

"Yeah, this might be better for them!" they both chuckled.

Peter became serious again. "I'm sorry, Alicia."

"For what?"

"For everything you've had to go through in the past year, in the past few months. I wish I could have been of more help to you."

She bit her lower lip, and shook her head. "No, Peter. We're both at fault. You tried to be there, but I pushed you away. I pushed everyone away. It was the only way I could deal with…" she sighed. "Everything"

He nodded in acknowledgement. "So we're good then?"

"Yes! We're good."

* * *

Some time later, they lay in silence in the bed next to each other, for what would likely be the last time. "I'll take you to see Will tomorrow," Peter offered.

"Peter, you don't have to. I can get there on my own."

"Alicia, I want to. Besides, I'd like to thank him myself for taking that bullet for you. And for…" Will had done exactly what Peter had asked of him that day Alicia had gone missing. He wasn't sure of the relationship between the two, but he'd seen a change in her for the better, even if she couldn't see it herself.

"And what?" she questioned. This non combative relationship between Peter and Will still caught her off guard. She had clearly missed something somewhere, but she doubted either of them would ever tell her what it had been.

"Nothing!" he responded, placing a gentle hand over her.

"Thank you." She was turned away from him staring at the large window in their suite. "Peter, I never stopped loving you," she said, honestly. "There were times I hated you, hated what you had done to our marriage, and the kids. But part of me always loved you, always will."

He placed his arm more firmly around her.

"I just wanted you to know," she finished, turning to face him.

"I know!" he said, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. It was bittersweet as they fell asleep next to each other, what seemed like a lifetime together coming to an end right before their eyes. Another chapter of life on the verge of bursting open, calming, yet unsettling at the same time.

 **A/N; Once again, thank you for all the reviews, and new follows! I realize my portrayal of Peter may seem out of character for some of you, but I do really think he and Alicia care for one another. I like the idea of him putting her ahead of his own wants, and ending things in an amicable way.**


	23. Hospital Visit

Peter, Alicia, and two secret service agents exited the elevator to the third floor of the hospital where Will was. They were met by Diane, who greeted them warmly, just outside Will's room.

"How is he?" Peter asked.

"In a lot of pain, but good overall," she responded.

She and Peter continued the small talk. Alicia had shut both of them out, staring at the door to his room, a mix anxiousness, and apprehension bottled up inside. What do you say to the person who took a bullet for you, with no care as to his own life?

"You can go in and see him," Diane said. Peter turned and began walking towards the door. Alicia's feet remained firmly planted where she was. Peter and Diane exchanged a confused look. Peter stepped back over to Alicia placing a gentle hand on her arm.

"You all right?" he asked.

Alicia looked at him, coming back out of her thoughts. "Yes, I… my head is hurting a bit, that's all," she smiled, moving past him towards the door.

Will opened his eyes as they entered. He'd been waiting to see Alicia.

"Hey," he said, with a slight upward curve of his lips, in an attempt to hide the excruciating pain he was in. The pain medication was beginning to ware off.

Alicia watched as Peter approached the bed, shaking Will's hand. She remained still just inside the door, her eyes never wavering from Will. The two men chatted for a minute. Peter thanked Will for " _taking that bullet for Alicia,"_

A few minutes later both men turned their attention to her, followed by an awkward moment of silence.

"I need to give Eli a call, get a few things set up. So if you'll excuse me," Peter said, moving back towards Alicia. "Take care Will." He turned his attention to Alicia. "I'll just be outside," he said, gently squeezing her arm before exiting the room.

They continued to stare at one another. She couldn't keep her eyes off his bandaged, slinged, shoulder. Finally he broke the silence. "Well, this is a change, you visiting me in the hospital, instead of the other way around!"

A gentle smile crossed her lips as she moved to the chair next to his bed. "Let's not make seeing each other in the hospital a habit, okay?"

He chuckled, "Agreed!"

"Will, I…"

"How are you?"

They both spoke up at once. "You first," she said.

"How are you?" he asked, his warm brown eyes looking at her.

She bit her lower lip, suddenly overcome by emotion. She looked away briefly, hating how easily the tears seemed to come these days. She took a deep breath, turning her gaze back to his.

"Fine, considering I was held at gun point yesterday, and managed to live to tell about it again." She looked down, as a few tears spilled from her eyes. "Will, I'm so sorry!" She shook her head. "You didn't deserve any of this. It's all my fault."

He reached his free hand over placing it on hers. "Alicia, none of this was your fault. For the record, I would do it again if I needed too."

She let his words sink in as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. He continued to stare at her. How was it that they always got to this point, and couldn't come up with the right words to say?

"Are you in a lot of pain?" she managed to say.

He chuckled. "It hurts like hell!"

She let out a slight laugh, squeezing his hand.

"Good news is that I can have some more pain medication in about thirty minutes!" He glanced over to the clock on the wall.

They continued to discuss his injury for a few minutes. How long he'd have to stay in the hospital, and rehabilitation. The conversation moved to her concussion, and headache that had ensued.

"I'm sorry I left you alone yesterday," he said, changing the subject.

"It all happened so fast, he came around a tree as soon as you went back inside. It wasn't your fault, and we may have both ended up dead if you hadn't been inside. It doesn't matter now."

"Are you going to go home with Peter and Diane tonight?" he asked.

"I… haven't decided yet," she admitted honestly.

"You should go," he said, with raised brow.

She didn't know how to take the comment. Was he ready to be rid of her, or just think it was in her best interest? She hadn't put much thought into how or when she would get back to Chicago. The only thing she'd been concerned with the entire morning was his well being. If she went home, who would be here with him? And how would he his get car home? She felt a little silly worrying about such things. He was a grown man after all and certainly didn't need anyone to take care of him. However, part of her felt like she needed to be there to support him. Especially after everything he'd done for her. Did he expect her to stay until he could be released from the hospital?

He could almost see the questions, and conflict running through her mind. "My sister Aubrey is on her way. In fact she will probably be here soon, and I won't be allowed to do anything for at least a week!"

They both chuckled. "I'll be out of here in three or four days, and she'll drive me back to Chicago."

She nodded, and inhaled deeply. "What do we do now?" This had been the question at the back of both of their minds for two weeks.

"Now, we begin to pick up all of the broken pieces. You should go home, get into therapy. Everyone can breathe a little easier now, knowing there aren't any more threats out there. We'll both go back to work, slowly try to… get back into a normal routine again."

That was all fine and dandy, but he was avoiding the real question.

"And what about us? Will, I can't just ignore everything that happened over the past two weeks!"

He sighed. "We don't have to ignore it, but your top priority right now, needs to be you. Not me, not work, not the kids, not Peter – you! You have some pretty tough things to work through, and I don't think it's a good idea to make consequential decisions the day after being attacked."

"What about what you want?"

"What I want?" he said, in a tone as though it had never occurred to him.

"Yes! You've stood by me, defended me, held me – protected me – for months now. And I still have no idea what it is you want! Or what it is you're after!"

Tension filled the room. The fact that both were on some pretty strong medication wasn't helping things.

"I'm not after anything Alicia. I looked at the situation, and took action, that's all."

They both knew that wasn't the whole truth now. It may have started out that way, but their two weeks together had re-opened some of the old feelings they had for one another. Sitting here now didn't seem like the time or the place to tell her that what he really wanted was plain and simple. He wanted what they used have, without any strings attached, without the vow of secrecy. He also knew she wasn't in any position to make a rash decision about their relationship. He knew full well she hadn't thought about the difficult road it would be to have a truly good, intimate relationship with him again. He didn't even know if she would want one. He was willing to head down that road with her, but he wanted to do it only if it was what she really wanted.

He could see a tinge of hurt in her from his words. "That's all?" she questioned with raised brow, growing angry because her head was pounding again, and she knew he wasn't telling the full truth. Things were starting to seem just as they had before their two week pause in reality.

"You know what Will?" she said snidely. "I'm going to be the adult here, and quit playing games like we're in high school again. There is one thing I know for sure, and that is that I,"

"Will!" the door burst open, and in walked Aubrey, a huge smile spread across her face. She rushed over to Will, gently giving him a hug, his eyes never leaving Alicia's.

After brief introductions, and Aubrey asking a million questions, Will asked her to give them just a minute. Aubrey obliged, and left the room.

Alicia's brief moment of raw honesty had passed. "Peter has asked for a divorce," she said, standing, moving to the end of the bed. "That's what he had to call Eli about." She couldn't help but smile inside at the look of complete shock on his face.

"When will it be announced?"

She sighed. "I don't know, we haven't decided," she said, looking down at her hands, fidgeting with her wedding ring. "Everything's changed in the past few months, and I…" she looked back up at him. "Like you said, I need some time to work things out."

"I think that's a good idea," he responded. The sun filtering in through the window caused a familiar glow to surround her. Deep down he wished it was her, instead of Aubrey who would stay with him for the next few days. In ways he hated how much he wanted her by his side again.

"Alicia, what were you going to say before Aubrey came in?"

She folded her arms across her chest, turning her head towards the window. "I'm nervous to go home, to go back to… life." Her eyes met his again. "I miss… our friendship." She expected him to say something, but he didn't, just continued to watch her. "I miss talking, working together, and tossing ideas back and forth like we used too. Like we did over the past few weeks."

"I miss it too."

"Can we still be friends once we get home?" It was said as if she doubted he would want the same. He couldn't understand how after everything, she would think he'd throw it all away, and go back to being her enemy. But that was exactly the thing she feared. Exactly how she viewed it. It wasn't rational to think he'd done everything out of some sense of obligation, not because he genuinely wanted too. It was just a reality and hazard of the past few months of her life. Finding herself, her identity again, was going to be a struggle.

"I'd like that!" he said.

"Good, then we'll start there." They stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, enjoying the comfortable silence.

"I should go. Let you get some rest." She pulled her purse over her shoulder. He nodded, and she turned to leave.

"Alicia,"

She would never get over the tingle that flooded through her whenever he spoke her name in the gentle manner he just had. She turned back around to face him.

"As your friend, can I make a suggestion?"

"Yes"

"Did the doctors do a thorough exam on you yesterday?"

She looked at him confused. Why would it matter? "No, there was no need, it was just my head that was hurt."

"They tried, but you wouldn't let them?" She hated how well he knew her.

"Yes!"

"When you get home, I think it would be a good idea to have a doctor you trust do a thorough exam."

"Why? I'm fine."

His expression became serious. "You probably are, but you were brutally raped, and there was no exam afterwards. Two weeks ago you had me buy a pregnancy test for you. It was negative, but,"

She cut him off. "My period hasn't come back?" she said with raised brow.

He nodded his head affirmatively. "I just think it would be a good idea to make sure everything's okay."

She bit her lower lip, looking down at the floor. "I'll take your suggestion under consideration." She sighed heavily. The list of things she didn't want to do, but needed to when she got home was growing.

"I'm going to go home with Peter tonight." She looked back up to him. "If you need anything," she lifted her phone. "Call me!"

He smiled. "I have it on good authority, that is sound advice coming from someone who is about to leave you stranded in a hospital bed!"

She laughed gently. "It was for me. The person that gave me that advice some time back when I was in a hospital bed - ended up saving my life." She exited the room before he could respond.


	24. Late Night Conversations

**A/N; I apologize for the delay in posting. Thank you all so much for continuing with this!**

The week following Alicia's return to Chicago was an adjustment. Being home in her own apartment, not having Will in the same living space, and allowing Peter to drop by to check on her, were just a few. Even getting used to the familiar sounds of the city again, some of which brought back unwanted feelings, instead of the quiet of the rural hills she'd been in, was somewhat of an adjustment. Of course everything in her life was likely going to be an adjustment in the following months. A fact she would just have to get used to.

Due to the concussion, she was advised to hold off on going back to work for four or five days, and to get plenty of rest. She was also advised to not mentally exert herself, which meant avoiding watching television, reading, and texting, for any long period of time. The first two days home she was tired, all the time it seemed, so resting wasn't an issue. By the following weekend, having little to do, she was bored out of her mind.

Sitting on the sofa in her apartment Friday afternoon, she decided she would attempt to get caught up on some work. Although Cary, had told her to not worry about work, which she could get caught up on when she returned to the office. She smiled to herself as she pulled out her laptop. At this point she owed him at least an entire month off.

Her week hadn't all been useless. She had managed to set up all the necessary - no matter how unwanted - doctor appointments for the following weeks. She'd hired a good divorce attorney, not that she thought things would turn ugly between she and Peter, but because it was smart to have her own representation. She and Peter would go through the formalities, but hold off on signing anything for the time being. Once the paperwork was filed, it wouldn't be long before someone would try to expose the public record. They wanted to be able to control the story by making a formal announcement. It was better to wait until Peter had resigned from the election, and the stories in the press about her and the shooting had died down. Glancing at a headline scrolling across the bottom of the television screen, which included her name, caused her mind to drift to Will.

He'd been home for a day or two, theoretically. She hadn't spoken to him, but two days before he'd sent her a quick text informing her of the eminent arrival back to the city. Now with both of them home and thrown back into their own lives, things would likely become complicated once again.

An hour later as she continued to pour through her overstuffed email inbox, there was a knock on her door.

"Owen," she said, opening the door a bit further to let him in.

"I'm here for the weekend!" he informed her.

"I don't need a babysitter, Owen." she insisted, closing the door behind him.

"Oh I know, but I figured you'd be bored by now, all the - _mental rest_ \- you've had to endure this week!"

"I'm fine! In fact, I've been working this afternoon," she said, folding her arms across her chest as they entered the kitchen.

"Come on sis, admit it, you need some company!"

She knew there was little she could do to get rid of him. "Make yourself at home," she said, sighing.

A few hours later they were on the sofa having just finished up some pizza. "So how's Will?" Owen asked, casually.

"Fine, I guess. I haven't talked to him this week." She placed her glass on the coffee table.

"He took a bullet for you, and you haven't called to see how he's doing?"

She rolled her eyes. Here it came - the eminent Will discussion. "No, I haven't called, and he doesn't expect me to either."

"So what are you two now? Friends, enemies," his eyebrows rose, "secret lovers?"

"I don't know, can we change the subject please? I really don't want to talk about it."

"You spent two weeks together, and you don't want to talk about it?"

"Owen!"

"Alicia, at some point, you and Will have to figure out what this – never ending thing - is. If you want my opinion,"

"I don't!"

"You're better off together than apart. You don't have any more excuses to push him away."

"What if I'm not the one doing the pushing?"

"So he's still pushing you away?"

"I didn't say that. I'm tired, I'm going to bed. You can sleep in Zack's old room if you want." She got up and went to her room before he could push her any further on the topic of Will.

/

Despite the tiredness caused by the concussion, she still found it difficult to sleep for long periods of time during the night, her experiences in the last few months being the likely cause. She didn't like the idea of talking to a psychologist, but if it would help her feel safe in her own home again, and at work, she figured it was worth a shot.

Will was also experiencing difficulties in sleeping because of his injury. Pain medication only worked so well, and finding a decent sleeping position with his shoulder in its current state made sleep uncomfortable.

So when Alicia sent Will a text message in the middle of the night, asking if he was awake, she was surprised to get a quick response.

 _I'm awake._

 _Sorry, did I wake you?_

 _No, the arm and all._

 _How is the shoulder?_

 _Still hurts like hell, but improving!_

They continued the meaningless chit-chat, and somehow fell upon the topic of their siblings.

 _I need a good excuse to get Aubrey out of this apartment!_

 _Sounds like we have a mutual problem! Owen has been here since yesterday. I'm ready to pull my hair out._

 _Don't do that!_ He responded.

 _Why is it so difficult to tell them to back off?_

 _We're chicken?_

 _No, we wouldn't want to ruin their egos!_

 _The real reason is we know they'd call our mother's to come take over, and that would be suicide!_

Alicia couldn't help but laugh out loud at his comment.

 _Right, our mothers!_

 _If Aubrey is still here in a week, I may need some stronger narcotics._

 _If she's still there, I'll come help you sneak out. Like I'm sure you did in High School! I owe you anyway!_

 _I never snuck out!_

 _Uh, huh!_

They continued for a few more minutes then signed off.

/

The following day, Owen left late in the afternoon. Grace was at a friend's. Alicia sat alone on the sofa and watched Peter's resignation speech. He and Eli thought it would be best for her to not attend the press conference. Eli had managed to spin the shooting story, from the previous weekend in a good way, keeping the press from trying to delve to deeply into the personal aspects of it all. She would be eternally grateful to Eli on this front.

She watched as Peter took his place at the podium. _"I want to thank everyone for being here. After recent polling numbers, and some difficult situations with my family in recent months, I've decided to pull my name from the list of candidates for President. At this time I feel my focus needs to be on my family, and the governorship of Illinois."_

It went on for a few minutes. Peter thanked all of his donors, and supporters, then stepped down, not allowing the press to ask any questions.

She watches as he said his final words. Only she could recognize the slight hint of regret in his eyes. Peter had told her over and over he wasn't resigning because of her. She didn't fully believe that, and felt slightly guilty.

Guilt seemed to be the main thing running through her blood these days. She thought about having a drink, or two, or three, but didn't not knowing how her body would respond to the alcohol. Instead, she drew a warm bath, and soaked in the tub until the water became cold.

It was Will who instigated their text conversation a few hours later.

 _Peter resigned?_

 _Yes_

 _And everyone is?_

 _Going to survive._

 _You blame yourself for it, don't you?_

She sighed, not knowing if she wanted to get into it with him, and hating the fact that even through a text message he could read her so well.

 _I don't want to talk about it. When are you going back to work?_

 _In a few days I hope, you?_

 _Tomorrow, I should probably try to get some sleep, so I don't make a fool out of myself in the morning._

 _You'll do great. You're the boss, remember you can avoid anyone you want, and assign tasks to associates if you don't feel like working._

 _How does that work exactly?_

 _You sit in your office, pretend to work, and tell your assistant you can't be disturbed. Worked for me for years!_

 _Uh huh, Diane doesn't' tolerate it all does she? Tell the truth Gardner!_

 _I didn't say you could pull one over on your partner! The advantage you have over me is an office without glass walls._

 _True, I do have a nice - private - office!_

And so it went for the next few weeks between them. Not every night, but when one of them couldn't sleep they'd send out an _"I'm awake"_ message to see if they could get a response. It wasn't planned. Neither of them thought this was how their communication would go once they had returned. Of course they both avoided getting into any conversation that touched on their relationship, keeping their chit chat to work, rehabilitation for Will, therapy for Alicia. Although she didn't share any of the details, other than she liked the woman Diane had recommended, and that because of the few weeks of therapy, she was finally starting to be comfortable in her office again. Soon she hoped she'd be willing to meet with new clients without Cary's presence. Despite the anxiety of being in her office at night, she buried herself in work. It was good to have something to distract herself with, staying late if Grace wasn't going to be home, and taking work home with her if Grace was going to be around.

/

It had been six weeks since the shooting, and her fourth session of therapy. She entered Natalie Bradford's office, for what had become her regular Wednesday afternoon appointment. She moved right to the gray sofa, making herself comfortable. Their first meeting had consisted of Natalie asking questions about the circumstances of her need for therapy, a broad history, and brief rundown of recent events.

The following few weeks, had involved gauging what kinds of situations triggered Alicia's anxiety, jumpiness, and Natalie teaching her some strategies for coping with the sudden on-sets of fear, and anxiety, that came over her periodically. With the coping mechanisms in place, on this particular afternoon, Natalie ran her though an intense session that involved Alicia writing down the events of the rape. After which Natalie went over it with her, pinpointing particular points of stress, and delving into some of the guilt and shame Alicia held over it. Her assignment for the next week was to read over her own description of the rape and use the coping mechanisms she'd learned if she needed. The session had left Alicia emotionally drained, and exhausted. She went home and went straight to bed, wondering how beneficial this really was if it left her like this afterwards.

Hours later in the middle of the night she woke in a panicked cold sweat. She did some of her breathing exercises to calm down, they helped some, but what she really wanted was to know she could get a hold of someone if she really needed to. She'd woken up this way numerous times when she'd been away with Will, and he'd always managed to calm her. It was sorely tempting to send him a message, but she knew she had to start fighting through this on her own.

She got out of bed and went to the living room curling, up on the couch with her laptop - nothing like work to keep her mind off things. However, every few minutes she glanced at the phone. _This is ridiculous. He's sleeping,_ She thought to herself, sighing. It was only then she realized how much she'd grown to enjoy their middle of the night conversations. She knew it couldn't last forever, there had to come a point where they both slept through the night again, but thirty minutes later, she gave in and sent him a message. Justifying it as any other message she'd sent in the past few weeks.

 _Are you up?_

She was about to give up hope, and try to get back to bed twenty minutes later, but then her phone buzzed.

 _I'm here now, fell asleep on the couch hours ago, heading to the bed now. Are you still up?_

 _Yes, had a bad dream._

 _You want to talk about it?_

 _I just wanted to know someone was there. Therapy was... rough today._

A few seconds later her phone lit up, alerting her to an incoming call. She shook her head as she lifted it to her ear.

"You didn't have to call," she said, standing to go back to her room so she wouldn't wake Grace.

"This seemed like a talking, rather than texting, conversation."

She smiled, enjoying the sound of his voice. They hadn't spoken to each other since the day she left him in the hospital.

"Yeah,"

There were a few moments of silence before he spoke up. "You okay now?" he asked, climbing into his bed.

"Yes… I guess. The breathing exercises helped."

"That's good!"

"I suppose it is. As much as I dislike discussing things so openly with a near stranger, things have improved."

"What made today's session so difficult?"

"It's painful to relive it. All the emotions, the feelings..."

"Is it getting better?"

"I don't know," she admitted honestly, settling against the pillows.

"Today was the first day we really discussed it. I wonder if it would be better to just bury it, and move on. Things seemed good after I told you, and with the breathing exercises, and other things I'm doing,"

Will cut her off. "Alicia, you need to keep going," he said, running a hand through his hair. He knew exactly what she was doing, trying to believe she could get through it on her own. It was in her nature to not want anyone's help.

There was silence again for a few moments. "Every time I have to retell it, it's like living through it again. I don't want to keep reliving this." She had to take some deep breaths, the last thing she wanted to do was fall apart over the phone.

"I know, and I don't blame you for not wanting to recall it over and over, but I do think it will get better. It's not something you'll ever forget, but the idea is to get to a point where it doesn't control you anymore, where it doesn't hold a stiff hand over you."

"I know it's the best thing, and I know I need to keep going. It's just hard some days. Natalie said it could take up to thirteen weeks. That's a long time Will."

"Yes, but you're already four weeks into it. Just think of it as an ongoing case, and really good trial prep. This is the trial of your life. It's probably the toughest trial you'll ever have to fight, but you can win this one. And the day you do… that will be a good day, worth all the hard work."

She laughed a bit through the tears that had suddenly come on. His confidence in her was once again greater than her own. His ability to calm and ease her stress was something she'd always be grateful for, something she'd missed in their time at war over the past years. The thing was he didn't do it because he expected, or needed to get anything out of it. He did it purely because he believed in her abilities, he always had.

Trust had not come easily in the four months since her attack. In the two months since he'd pulled her out of Chicago, and had been there to support her, her trust in him had nearly all been regained. She realized he'd meant it when he said he'd be willing to walk down this road of recovery with her - their middle of the night discussions as her proof and saving grace. She was finally to a point of not feeling quite so alone. Their friendship being rebuilt one brick at a time.

"That will be a good day! Speaking of good days, when does that sling come off?" Their conversations always seemed to turn to her, but she wanted him to know she was interested in, and concerned about him as well.

"Friday!"

"Congratulations!"

He thought about his next statement carefully before saying it. "I might need someone to celebrate with."

She didn't respond for a moment. Was he asking her out? Did he just want to get a drink with someone, and she happened to be on the phone with him when he realized it?

"Um, Will, I...what did you have in mind?"

"I don't know, drinks, dinner, a celebratory ceremony where I throw the empty pill bottles into the trash!" They both laughed.

"Can it wait a week?" she asked.

"I.. Uh.. Sure," he wondered if he'd crossed some invisible line he didn't know existed. They had shared every meal together for two weeks just six weeks prior. He wanted them to continue to strengthen their friendship, not just through messages sent in the middle of the night. He wanted her back in his life, even if it never turned to romance again. He wanted to be able to call her and meet for drinks after a long day, or coffee before court to discuss work, and life. Maybe that wasn't what she wanted.

"It's just that I'm booked every night until next Friday,"

He was relieved to know it wasn't that she wasn't willing to meet up with him. "Okay, sure next Friday. It's a date! I mean it's not a date - date - it's just a social date, a,"

"Will, your rambling!" she said, smiling to herself.

"Yeah, it's... late."

"You decide where and when next Friday, and I'll meet you there okay?"

"Okay, goodnight Alicia,"

"Night Will, and thank you!"

She lay awake in bed for some time longer, pondering over his words, and proposed meeting. She liked the idea of getting together. Maybe they didn't need to discuss the elephant in the closet from their past, they'd spent so much time together, had seemed to mutually like, and trust each other again. However, her next session of therapy would open up all of her old wounds, and there would be no getting around it this time.


	25. The Mole

**A/N; A quick update! Thank you all for the reviews, and new follows!**

The following Wednesday, it didn't take Natalie long to figure out that Alicia had other issues she needed to work through, aside from her attacks. Her marriage, pending divorce, managing her own firm, her short lived political career, to name a few. Alicia was a successful woman, but in many ways had paid a high price for the success.

"One of the things we need to work through is your shame and guilt over the rape. Let's talk more about Will, and how Mr. Pierson tried to, imitate Will, for better lack of words. The person he tried to use against you, and destroy your memories of."

Destroy - use against - had been some of her own words. Suddenly Alicia grew uncomfortable, more so than she had been in previous weeks.

"Tell me about your relationship with Will?"

"Do you have three hours?" Alicia said, sarcastically.

Natalie chuckled. "Yes, you're my last appointment today. You can take all the time you want!"

"It's complicated," she said, exhaling.

Natalie waited for her to continue.

"After Peter went to prison Will hired me, we were..." she sighed and stood, walking to the window to peer out. "Friends in college. After I started working for Will, it became apparent that there were some - mutual feelings - between us. Peter and I separated for a time after he was released from prison. Not because of Will, but because of some other things I found out Peter had done. Will and I had an affair, it lasted about seven months."

"And this was the period of time the emails Pierson used had come from?"

"Yes"

"What happened after the affair ended?"

Alicia bit her lip. "We continued to work together. I was made a partner, things seemed fine between us. Peter ran for Governor. We managed to mend the fences some, and Peter wanted to renew our vows after the election."

"And did you renew your vows?"

She couldn't help but let out a slight laugh, as she turned back to Natalie. "No! Three weeks after the election everything came crashing down," she felt herself tense up and became a little angry.

"I've been trying to put my life back together ever since."

"Why did everything come crashing down?" she said, urging Alicia to continue.

"Because of... Because I..." She shook her head, she hated talking about this. "Will fired me." She turned around and stared out the window again. "I was trying to form my own firm and..."

"And what?"

"He was angry, not that he wasn't justified. I threw myself into the new firm, and then a campaign. It's just been in the past eight months where my firm has been able to hold real stability, and it was all because of Pierson." She shook her head, and moved back to the couch.

"I had to take Pierson on as a client, Cary doesn't know this, but without Pierson's income we probably would have had to close up shop. Pierson came in at just the right moment, and brought a large clientele with him - a clientele that saved us. Of course that was his plan. I didn't want to take Pierson on. Yes, he was charming, good looking, and rich - filthy rich. But from the first day I met him, something seemed off. I couldn't figure out why of all the firm's in Chicago, one of the cities most recognized, well admired people, would choose our firm. A small start up, when there were larger, more experienced firms in the city. Will's for instance. I brushed off the bad omen, chopping it up to the fact that I was the Governors wife, and that was the image he wanted for his legal representation," she sighed, leaning back against the soft pillows of the couch.

"What led you to believe Pierson wasn't what he seemed?"

"We had an office holiday party a few weeks after I resigned - a few days after Pierson walked into the office - in hopes to regain some momentum."

Suddenly a flash of memory flooded her mind. "I should have seen it then," she said, shaking her head. "How could I have been so blind?"

"Seen what?"

"I thought Pierson was drunk at the party. I came out of the restroom after things had died down. He cornered me, pinning me up against the wall. He put his hands on my waist, which I immediately removed. He acted like we were best friends, and I'd only met him once. He said he had a client he wanted me to meet, I agreed, but he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me for a few moments. I moved out from in front of him, and coaxed him to introduce me to this client of his. Periodically during the conversation with this client, Pierson placed his hand on the small of my back, but made it seem like it was the natural thing to do. He was always doing that to the women in the office whenever he came by. He liked to invade everyone's personal space, but he was such a nice guy, you didn't feel invaded upon." She shook her head, now realizing what Pierson had actually been doing.

"Peter and I were in a bad spot after the election. I blamed him for my political undoing. I'm sure I led Pierson to believe I was open to his flirtations."

"So you led him on, and that's why you feel you deserved some of his actions the night he raped you?"

She was angry and upset, as a few tears escaped her eyes. "Yes! I liked the attention. I liked the fact someone thought I was attractive again. Peter tried, but… I could never fully get rid of the idea that he felt the need to sleep with other women because I wasn't good enough for him. No one made me feel sexy in the way Will had until Pierson started eyeing me, and I fell right into his trap!" The flood gates were open and she continued.

"This was my fault, but I wouldn't have had to take Pierson on if it hadn't been for..." She stood placing her hands on her hips, realizing now how much she really blamed Will.

"Will did everything he could to destroy the firm. We could have made it on our own, if he hadn't kept stealing the few wealthy clients we found on our own. We lost all the major clients that followed us from his firm, and he seemed to manage to pluck any new, potentially large, clients from under our fingertips. He was always one step ahead of us." She grew angrier realizing now how he must have done it.

She paused, and stared at the painting behind Natalie's desk, her mind racing through all of her employees, and those that had left in the past two years. "I need to go," she said, moving back to the sofa, grabbing her purse.

"Alicia, we aren't done. I don't want you to leave upset like this," Natalie stated standing to follow her to the door.

"There's someone I need to talk to. We can run long next week." She was out the door before Natalie could say another word.

/

With traffic, it was after six before she walked into the Lockhart, Gardner offices, ignoring the receptionists attempts to stop her from passing through down the hall to Wills.

Diane looked up from her meeting with David Lee and Howard Lyman just as Alicia rounded the corner to Will's office. He was sitting behind his desk when she entered, and purposefully stood in front of his desk, placing her hands firmly on the solid wood. He was startled at her abrupt entrance.

"Who was the mole?" she said, sternly, trying to keep her tone down.

He looked at her in complete confusion. "Alicia, what mole? I don't know what you're talking about."

She bit her lower lip, and shook her head. "Don't play dumb here Will! The mole you had in my office!"

He stood trying to remain calm. "Alicia, listen to me. I don't know what you're talking about."

She straightened up to fully face him. "I get that you were angry, and hurt, I take nearly all the blame for that. But to sink so low as to pay someone to work for me, and feed you information on our potential clients, it's unforgivable!" Her tone had risen slightly, and with his door open, Diane had come to see what all the commotion was about.

"Alicia, calm down, the door is wide open," Will said, moving towards her.

"You didn't seem to care about that when the tables were turned two years ago!" she shot back.

She turned and headed for the door, seeing Diane standing there she turned back around to face Will. "I thought I could trust you again, but the lies are never going to stop."

"Alicia," he moved to within a few feet of her.

"No!" she said pointing a finger at him. "You nearly destroyed my firm because of your little game. I took Pierson on because I didn't have any other choice. Your revenge ruined me, and now I'm going to destroy you, and this entire firm - starting with a law-suit."

"A law-suit for what?" Will said, sternly.

"For stealing all the furniture from my office in December of 2013!" She turned, pushing past Diane, and headed towards the elevator.

Will wasn't about to let her get away with accusing him of something he had no knowledge of. He tried to follow her, but Diane stopped him. "Will, wait."

"Diane, I have to stop her, she's upset over something that isn't true, and she'll end up doing something we'll all regret. I know her."

"Will, it is true," she said, just as he rounded the corner to head down the hall.

He halted and spun around glaring at Diane. She motioned for him to follow her back into her office, closing the door behind them. "I didn't know until a few months ago." She turned and peered at David.

"I planted a mole in their offices," David admitted.

"You what?" Will's blood pressure began to rise.

"I didn't plan it! You were the one who wanted to get all of our clients back. One of the fourth years who worked for me came back a few days after leaving. Things weren't exactly what he thought they were going to be at Florrick, Agos. I told him to stay there, and feed us information."

"With the promise that when he returned here he'd receive a considerable salary bump," Diane finished for him.

"How long was this _mole_ at Florrick, Agos?" Will said, raising his tone a notch.

"I pulled him a few months before the election. Without Alicia we didn't have much to worry about. Cary was going to have to down size considerably if she won."

Will shook his head in frustration.

"What's this business about their office furniture?" Diane asked.

"I have no idea!" Will said, exhaling in frustration.

"I know what that's about," Howard interjected.

The other three in the room all turned their attention to Howard. "It was when we had that new partner. What was his name... Damian something,"

"Damian Boyle?" Will asked. An employee hire gone wrong, once kalinda had exposed Damian.

"Yeah, that's it. He took me and some of the associates to their offices one afternoon. We were supposed to pretend we were from a moving company. We cleared out all their furniture."

David chuckled, Diane rolled her eyes, shaking her head, and Will was furious. "So everything she said was true? And she does have grounds to sue us on!" Will turned and exited the office slamming the door behind him.

/

Alicia managed to hold control in the short walk back to her office. She told her assistant to hold any calls, and she wasn't to be disturbed. Cary saw her come in and followed her into her office.

"I thought you were going home after your session?"

"Change of plans. If Will shows up and won't leave, call security. I have nothing to say to him."

Cary furrowed his brow. "Okay, you want to tell me what's going on?"

"No," she said, peering at him with a - don't push this one - look in her eyes.

He nodded and left her office closing the door behind him. After the door was closed she couldn't hold the hurt in any longer, and the tears began to spill.

Twenty minutes later Will showed up. Cary came out of his office to meet him.

"Cary, I need to talk to Alicia."

"Will, I can't let you in there," he said, moving in front of the door to Alicia's office.

"Cary,"

"Will, she told me to call security if you wouldn't leave, and after everything that's happened to her, I won't hesitate."

Alicia could hear Cary outside her office, and moved to the door to listen.

Will put his hands up to indicate he wouldn't push it. "Okay, just tell her I didn't know. David Lee planted the mole, without talking to me or Diane. I just found out about it ten minutes ago. Tell her I had nothing to do with the furniture, we had a few partner's go rogue on us, and I'm happy to compensate your firm for the expense."

Cary held his stone-faced stance. "Okay"

"Just tell her okay, and tell her I'm sorry." He turned and headed back down the hall towards the elevators.

Alicia sighed, and slumped against the door. She wanted to believe Will. She wanted to get back to where things had been the day before. She was confused, and hurt again, and knew he likely was too. There was no way to know if he was telling the truth unless she could look him in the eye when he told her what he had just told Cary. It was time for them to talk about everything. She just hoped that after her outburst at his office, he'd still be willing to talk. It was time to put their past to rest.

Two hours later, she rode the elevator up to his apartment and knocked on the door. She was about to give up a few minutes later when there hadn't been any answer. She turned to go back to the elevator when he rounded the corner.

Their eyes locked on each other, neither of them moved for a few moments. "We need to talk," she said, folding her arms across her chest.

He nodded, and allowed her to follow him into his apartment.


	26. Finding Stability

Will cleared a space on the sofa for Alicia to sit after they entered his apartment. "Can I get you anything?" he asked, as she sat.

"No, thank you."

"Will," "Alicia," they said at the same time.

"I didn't know about the mole," Will said, sitting next to her.

"Cary said."

They continued to hold eye contact. "You don't believe me?"

"I want to believe you, but I don't understand how you could have no knowledge of it."

"I knew about the new clients. I didn't know they had been your potential clients, or that they had been solicited by someone who was feeding David Lee information. In the beginning, yes, I made it my business to get our clients back, and take any others from you I could. After a few months, my focus turned to making sure I beat you at any case where our firms were on opposing sides. I promise you, David did all of this on his own."

She sat back against the cushions. He looked sincere in his statement. "Okay, I believe you."

"You believe me, but?" He still sensed a hint of doubt in her.

She sighed, leaning forward placing her arms in her lap. "What David did, had a direct correlation in my taking Pierson on as a client. After the election the firm was struggling, more so than we had been. Nearly every stable client we had with any money, had left us and come to you. I didn't like Pierson at first, and would have never taken his cases if I hadn't been desperate."

"I'm sorry," he said, sincerely.

"I just wanted you to know why I was so upset earlier. If we hadn't been at war, and I had been able to hold onto clients, I could have kept Pierson out of my life."

"Alicia, I know nothing I say will ever make up for what happened to you. If I had known I would have put an end to it sooner."

"Would you have?" she said, standing to place some space between them. "Because, the few times you and I opposed each other in court were pretty awful."

"Yes! I would have."

"You would have pushed down the anger? Given up your upper hand?"

"Yes, there is a fine line between persuading clients to come to us, and doing what David did. I would have ended it, even though I had every right to be angry." He stood running a hand through hair. "I would have, and I'm sorry. Now lets talk about the real reason you're here - the reason we ended up in that ridiculous war to begin with."

"Okay, you go first," she said, folding her arms across her chest.

He was slightly annoyed that she wouldn't just lay it all out on the table. That she wanted him to ask, what he viewed, as unnecessary questions. She was the one that had stabbed him in the back. "It's a simple question Alicia, why did you leave?"

"You really haven't figured out the answer, after all this time?" She knew it was a combative answer, but she didn't appreciate his tone in asking his question.

"No Alicia, I don't. I've spent the past seven years trying to figure out what it is you want, and I still have no clue. We ended things, and then you kissed me that night in the car, and made it seem like you wanted things to change between us. I offered you Diane's position, a chance to do exactly what you were trying to do with Cary, but without the struggle. Three days later I found out you'd been lying to me for three weeks - leading me on. I want to hear the answer from your lips, because I've never felt so betrayed in all my life, as I felt that day."

She sighed, biting her lip. She wanted this to be over, but it was time to face the truth. "There were numerous reasons Will. One of them was exactly what I told you that night in the car. That I couldn't figure my way out of my feelings for both you and Peter. I didn't like the way things had been handled with the fourth years. I loved the idea of running my own firm. The night of the election when I told Cary I'd join him, I didn't know you were going to offer me managing partnership. I wanted to tell you we were leaving. I tried to tell you a few times during those three weeks."

"No, you didn't," he said, coldly.

"I did, but you were so busy running from one case to the other, and trying to control the damage from Diane's interview, that you continulally brushed me off."

"Okay, I concede I was focused on Diane, but you should have found time to tell me."

"Yes, I should have, and for that I'm sorry. You should have never found out the way you did. It wasn't an easy decision Will. It wasn't something I decided overnight. After you asked me to take Diane's position, I thought about staying. It _was_ what I wanted, it would have been easier. I was leaning heavily towards staying."

"So what made you change you mind?" He sighed, and turned from her slightly.

"You," she said, honestly, placing her hands on her hips.

"Me?"

"I was going to tell Cary no. I was going to take your offer, but your behavior towards Diane became… uncivil. Yes, she made a mistake, but she was right! She had dedicated her life to the firm. She did deserve more, but you seemed ready, and willing, to boot her out without a second thought. If you were going to treat a good friend that way, how were you going to treat me - your former lover, who in all likelihood would have become that again - if I happened to make a damaging mistake in the future?"

He sighed, pacing a few steps. He'd nearly forgotten how awful he'd been to Diane. "If something similar had come up in our future, I would have handled it differently," he protested.

Her eyebrows rose. "No, it would have been worse than what you did to Diane. You would have done exactly what you did to me – maybe worse. I know how much I hurt you. I understand why you were so angry - and justifiably so. If I could go back in time, I would handle it differently. I can't change the past, as much as I would like too - on so many fronts!" She stepped closer to him, gaining eye contact once again. "You weren't the only one who got hurt that day. Your heart isn't the only one that was ripped to shreds." She paused, taking a deep breath.

"You wanted to know why I left. Well, I want to know why you were so cruel in your actions that day. I could handle the yelling, the swipe of the arm across my desk. It stunned me a little, but I could have moved past that. What hurt me that day were some of the awful things you said to me, and the fact that you did it in front of half the office. You wouldn't calm down for five seconds to listen to my side of the story. Then after you got the vote to officially fire me, you had me escorted out of my office, by security - in - front - of everyone! That was humiliating Will!"

They both stepped back, and turned from each other.

"Okay, your right. I lost control," he said. "I concede that my actions were slightly out of line. We both hurt each other. We're both sorry. The question is can we get past it? Can we get to a point where we stop looking back, and placing blame? You haven't hit on the real reason you left, the reason it hurt so much. The real reason we fought our bitter war."

Silence filled the room. She turned to fully face him once again, their eyes locked on one another. Her heart belonged to him and his to hers. They both knew this was the exact reason they had been so awful to each other, and the exact reason it had been so painful. They had both tried to move on, to forget, but they were incapable of it. The past months had been awful, but tragedy had brought them together again in the most outrageous of circumstances.

"I'm ready to bury the hatchet, but Alicia, I don't know where you stand. Three hours ago, you said what I had done was unforgivable. I don't know what you want."

He moved to within a few inches of her. He'd proven over the past months how much he cared for her – she was well aware of it. "I need to know what you want - in here." He placed his hand on her chest, over her heart. "Not what the Governor's wife, or the lawyer, or the mother of two great kids wants because she's obligated in some way to choose what will make life easy for everyone else. I want to know what it is that _Alicia_ wants."

She could barely breathe with his hand on her, and his dark eyes piercing right through her. Not because she was scared, or nervous, but because she'd spent seven years putting out fires, trying to stay one step ahead of disaster, with little time to think about what she really wanted. Despite the fact that she was still fighting her sense to back away from anyone who was in her personal space, he was the one person when near she felt completely safe. She took a deep breath, and stepped away from him.

"I want stability again. I don't want to be scared anymore. I don't want for everywhere I go to end up in a mess. I want people to hire me because I'm a good lawyer, not because of my last name. I want to walk down the street, and not worry about whatever I do becoming front page news. I want to go to work every day, and just be a lawyer - defend people who deserve a good defense. Defend those who don't, for a good challenge. At the end of the day, I want to go out for a drink, or home to someone, instead of an empty apartment because I've been so busy managing the chaos that I lost all of my friends. I like having someone to cook for at night. Not every night, but some. I would like to sit at the kitchen table over dinner, and have a conversation about someone else's day, and politics, and the book they're currently reading. I want someone to share a glass of wine with. Someone to share a bed with. I want to have meaningless arguments with someone that leads to really great make-up sex. I want someone to take the time to just listen to me. I want to be needed because I'm loved and wanted, not the other way around. I want to stop hurting everyone I love, and causing everyone I know such pain. I want…" She turned away from him, as her tears began to fall. She was hurting in so many ways. She didn't want him to feel sorry for her. She just wanted a sense of stability and familiarity in her life again.

He stepped behind her wrapping his arms around her, causing her to turn and face him. "Will, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she nearly whispered, through her tears.

He cupped her face in his hands, wiping her tears with his thumbs. "I forgive you," he whispered back to her, with a gentle smile. "Can you forgive me?"

"Yes." Her lips curved into a smile, as he pulled her closer, her head rested against his chest.

A few moments later she looked up at him. "What do you want?"

He smiled, down at her. "You... I want you," he said, gently brushing the hair back behind her ears with his hand.

She rested against him again, completely content to be held in his arms, their past finally reconciled with forgiveness.

"Do you want to sit with me?" he offered, a few minutes later.

"I'd like that."

They moved to the sofa, her back up against him, his arms wrapped around her. "You really want me?" she said. "I have a lot of baggage, and issues I'm working through right now."

He chuckled lightly. "I'm positive. I want you, and all the issues that come with it."

They continued to sit in comfortable silence for a few more minutes enjoying the new sense of trust between them.

"Hey, did you ever go see a doctor?" he asked, a few minutes later.

"I did," she said, calmly, placing her hand on his that was wrapped around her midsection.

"And?" he questioned.

"I'm as healthy as any other premenopausal woman in her late forties."

It took a moment for him to put the meaning in her words together. She peered up at him. "My child bearing years are nearing an end. The lack of bleeding, the nausea, the waking up in a hot sweat every other night, is perfectly normal - unpleasant, but normal."

He nodded. "I'm glad everything turned out to be fine."

"Me too. It is a little sad to think that my ability to bear children is pretty much over. A relief in ways, but sad."

"Yes," he added. The continued to sit in silence, each processing their new found relationship.

"Will,"

"Yeah,"

"I never thanked you for… being there in some of my darkest moments. You never questioned my story. You got me out of here at a point where I had given up on life, and then you held me through some of my most agonizing, painful moments. You defended me in every possible way, including taking a bullet for me, which could have easily ended my life. I won't ever be able to fully make it up to you, but I hope you know I'll always be grateful, and that it's meant the world to me."

He smiled at her sheepishly. "You know the one thing I wouldn't change about these past months, is our two weeks together. I wouldn't change a single thing." He looked up for a split second. "Except, maybe that last day."

She laughed lightly. "We could have done without the shooting."

"So what do we do now?" he asked.

She reached down and took his hand. "For now we take things one day at a time. I still have to get through a divorce, and therapy, and." She sighed at the thought of how many things remained before she'd be able to fully gain back the stability she wanted in her life. "It's a long road ahead."

"It's okay! I'm going to walk that road with you."

"I should go," she said, releasing her grasp on his hand.

"Are we still on for Friday?" he asked, as they moved towards the door.

"Absolutely! Seven, right?" she said, pulling her purse over her shoulder.

"Yes, seven. I could pick you up if you want? I mean maybe we should call it a date, now that…"

She smiled and stood in front of him, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Maybe we should!"

"I'll pick you up then," he said, softly, as the butterflies that filled him from the touch of her lips to his skin began to settle.

"Good!" She turned and headed out the door.

"I'll walk you to your car," he insisted, following her out of the apartment.

"You don't have too."

"I want to, I'm admittedly a bit paranoid about your safety now." He moved in front of her pressing his finger to the button on the elevator.

"Will, I'll be fine."

"I know, but I'm still concerned. I might need a little therapy myself. The shooting and all, has made me… slightly paranoid."

She smiled and followed him into the elevator. "I hear you know a good psychologist," he said, as the doors closed.

"I'll get you her number," she smiled, pressing the button for the parking garage.

 **A/N; I couldn't handle them not admitting their feelings for each other any longer, it was time for this ship to head in the right direction. A huge thank you to all of my faithful reviewers, and followers! I am truly grateful for all of you!**


	27. Date

**A/N; A huge thanks to Missthirdward! She wrote the description of Alicia's dress for this chapter, and it's amazing! I'm terrible at clothing description, so really appreciated the help.**

 **Thank you all for the support, reviews, and new follows over the past few weeks!**

" _You… I want you."_ It would be a lie if Alicia didn't admit his words played a direct influence on the dress she had finally settled on for their date. It was white, stainless like the snow itself, and the soft material was perfect against her pale skin - it almost made her look as though she were a ghost.

The trimmings finished an inch above her knee and traveled up north to accentuate her slim curves. The sleeves broke just over her shoulder, leaving the hairs on her arms free for the warm summer breeze. She told herself that this was the kind of dress she could wear to work, however knowing that if it weren't for the deep V neck lined between her breasts, maybe she could believe herself.

She ran her hands along her thighs peering into the mirror. The dress was tight in all the right places. It made her feel beautiful, and that's what she needed now.

She moved to the closet again stepping over the shoes she'd already tried, and decided against. She didn't know if his raw honesty after all these years was causing her nervousness, or if it was something else.

She wanted him too, but now that some of their honest feelings were out in the open, it felt like things were moving to quickly. _I'm over thinking it. This is just a date, drinks, dinner - to celebrate._ She thought, tossing yet another pair of heels onto the floor. _Who am I kidding? This is a real date, both of us being open and honest because… we like each other?_

She slipped off another pair of shoes, and stood looking blankly at the remaining pairs on the shelf. _No, what if it's more? Love?_ She sighed, placing her hands to her hips. _I don't even know what those words mean anymore._

Grace entered the room, quickly noticing the pile of clothes strewn across the bed, Alicia in the closet surrounded by the mess of shoes all over the floor. She leant up against the door jam and folded her arms.

"Mom," she said, with a slight chuckle. "It's a date, not the State of the Union."

Alicia looked up at her, seriousness written in her every feature. "I know, I just..." Her eyes made one scan of the room, and she smiled sheepishly, sighing. "Why am I so nervous? Will won't care what I'm wearing. It's not like we don't know each other."

Grace smiled. "Your right, he won't. You look really good!"

"I do?"

"Yeah"

Alicia moved to the edge of the bed. "Are you sure your okay with this? Your dad and I haven't officially divorced yet."

"It's fine mom. You've both signed the papers, and it will be official in another week anyway." She moved and sat next to Alicia.

"Grace, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For the way things turned out between your dad and I."

"Mom, it's okay. I just want you and dad to be happy. Does Will make you happy?"

"Yes, he does." Her honestly startling even herself.

"Then I'm okay if you date him."

Alicia pulled her in for a hug. "Thank you."

Just then the doorbell rang. Alicia's expression turned to panic. "Oh no, I'm not quite ready."

Grace smiled again, and stood. "I'll get the door. Keep the dress, get rid of the heels, and put these on." She went into the closet and pulled out a dressy pair of sandals that were a nice compliment to the dress. Alicia took them, grateful that Grace had impeccable taste when it came to fashion.

Grace opened the door. Will looked a little surprised to see her standing there. "Uh, hi Grace, is your mom here?"

She couldn't help but laugh to herself. He looked as nervous as Alicia had. It was all very amusing, two grown adults who probably knew more intimate things about each other than any other person they knew, yet, acting as if they were going out with a near stranger. She began to wonder if it was just her presence that was making them both nervous, or the fact that it was an unofficial first date. Heaven forbid they consider sleeping together during their lunch hours years ago, as dating.

"She's almost ready. Come in."

They moved to the kitchen. Will was admittedly nervous to be alone with Grace. He'd never been in this situation before, and he didn't know how she felt about her mother going out with a man that wasn't her father.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Grace asked.

"No, I'm fine, thanks. Have you decided where you're going to go to college?" He asked, figuring it was safe territory for conversation.

"I've put applications into a few schools, we'll see."

"I'm sure it will all go well for you."

"Hey," Alicia said, entering the kitchen.

Will turned to face her. "Hi, you look amazing," he said, his eyes wandering up and down her thin form.

She smiled sheepishly, glancing over to Grace, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Thank you. Shall we go?"

"Yes" They moved toward the door.

"Grace, don't wait up." Alicia called.

"I won't, you two have a good time, and behave yourselves." She couldn't resist giving them a hard time. "And don't drink too much. I don't want to have to come pick you two kids up in the middle of the night."

Alicia was embarrassed, Will thought it was hilarious, and began to chuckle as he pulled the front door open.

"Grace," Alicia said, rolling her eyes.

"Goodnight mom," she called, chuckling.

"I'm sorry," Alicia said, as they entered the elevator.

"Don't be. She's a good kid, just looking out for her mom's best interest."

"You're lucky Zach wasn't here. The two of them together, you would have gone through the third degree."

Will laughed again, as he hit the button for the parking garage.

An awkward silence ensued until they were both seated in the car.

"This is going to sound silly, but I'm really nervous," he admitted.

She smiled laughing under her breath. "Me too." She glanced over in his direction.

A gentle smile formed on his lips. "Maybe if we stop trying to make things so formal?"

"Yes, that might be a good idea."

The mood was quickly changed to one of comfort as they drove to the restaurant.

/

"I'd forgotten how great the views were from up here," Alicia said, cocktail in hand, looking out at the Chicago skyline from the lounge off the restaurant that offered amazing views of the city, while they waited to be seated. "We live in a great city. I should get out and take advantage of all it has to offer more often," she said, peering over to the Lake Michigan waterfront.

"Yes, me too. We spend too much time trying to save everyone else from their lives, and forget to live our own."

She nodded in agreement.

He couldn't keep his eyes off her as they ate. Her beauty was something that would, and had, always taken his breath away. Even during their time of discontent. Now that there was a real chance they could be together, he didn't feel obligated to be discrete when his eyes lingered on her for a few seconds longer than they should.

His eyes on her hadn't gone unnoticed. Under other circumstances it may have made her feel uncomfortable, but not tonight. Tonight it aided in her self confidence, and sense of security, knowing that she was likely the only thing he was interested in, and the knowledge that she was completely safe while in his presence.

Her phone buzzed again from inside her purse. She'd ignored the previous few notifications that someone was trying to get a hold of her. But when Will pulled his phone out just seconds after hers had stopped buzzing, she reached in and grabbed hers.

"It's Eli," he said, looking to her to see whether he should answer or not.

Her lips formed a thin line. "He's tried to call me five times in the past fifteen minutes," she said, with a puzzled look on her face.

"Eli," Will said, placing the phone to his ear.

"He wants to talk to you," he said, holding out the phone to her.

"How does he know we're together?" she questioned, with raised brow, taking the phone from him.

"What's the problem Eli?"

"Alicia, what are you doing?" Eli said, in an exasperated tone.

"Having dinner,"

"Yes, with Will, in public, at one of Chicago's finest restaurants."

She inhaled, rolling her eyes. "How do you know where we are?"

"I received a call from a friend, who told me I might want to know the Governor's wife was at dinner on what _appeared_ to be more than just a casual business meeting," he said, with exaggeration.

"You what?" she said, growing angry.

"Alicia, I know the divorce is going to be announced next week. But if someone gets a shot of you two, in what may appear to be… a - compromising position - it will be all over the news. And when the divorce is announced,"

"Eli," she said, cutting him off. "You don't have to lecture me." Her eyes began to scan the crowd that was around them. Will's eyes followed the path hers had taken, not knowing what was going on. "People need to mind their own business Eli,"

"Alicia, just one more week."

"No Eli. I made plans - with a friend - that I intend to keep. I'm going to sit here and finish my meal - with Will - and should any photos of the two of us end up in the news, I guarantee it won't be pretty. Goodnight Eli." She hung up, handing the phone back to Will. He loved this side of her, when her rage wasn't aimed at him.

"I hope your okay with that," she said, calming down, taking another sip of her drink.

"Oh yeah! Eli has a spy in the restaurant?"

"A concerned _friend."_

"I could move my chair further from you," he offered.

"No, we aren't doing anything wrong, and quite frankly I don't care anymore. Let people think whatever they want."

"I just don't want the divorce announcement to turn into another scandal for you."

She looked away. "I know, but I'm tired of worrying about the press."

"Let's go. We're done anyway," he offered. He wasn't about to let nosy people ruin their evening. He could tell Eli's call had bothered her, even if she put on a brave face.

/

The sun was getting low as Will spread out a blanket on a grassy area under some trees just across from one of the beaches along the lake. She wondered if he'd had a change of plans after what had happened at the restaurant, and this was an attempt at getting away from the crowds, and lingering eyes. But when he returned from the car, dessert in hand, she knew it had been part of his original plan.

He sat next to her placing the fresh strawberry pie between them. "How did you keep that cool in this heat?" she questioned, taking the fork he offered her.

"A cooler, with lots of ice," he said, removing his suit jacket, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. A cool breeze was setting in, along with some clouds, bringing the hot humid temperature down to something bearable, and making for a incredible sunset.

She took one bite of the pie, and knew exactly where he'd gotten it from. It had been something they had shared a few times over the summer months during their affair. There was a café down the street from their offices that was well known for its fresh baked pies.

Once they'd both had enough, he put it away, and they went for a barefoot stroll along the sandy shoreline. "I miss this," she admitted, peering out at the lake, the last rays of sun hitting the water.

"Watching the sun set?"

She continued to stare out at the horizon, the breeze blowing freely through her hair. "Breathing in the fresh air in the evening with you." She paused and turned to face him. "I miss…" she looked down and their sand covered feet. "The simplicity of things… no, simplicity isn't the word." She looked back up and turned some stepping a few feet away from him. "You make me feel safe, made me feel safe." She shook her head. "You know the day before the verdict came in, and I was in your office," she turned back to face him. He nodded, and they continued to walk.

"That was the only place I had felt safe in weeks, even though we were still arguing. I knew that was the one place no one could hurt me. I had lost my trust in everyone, but I knew I could trust you to protect me there."

He moved closer to her, placing a hand on her arm, causing her to stop again. "I would have. If he had come into the office, I would have."

"I know. I miss waking up next to you in the morning, and feeling completely safe, even if I hadn't slept well. I keep thinking all the good that's happened in the past months is a dream. That I'll wake up one morning all those months ago, and still be scared out of my mind."

His eyes remained fixed on hers.

"I'm sorry, that probably sounds silly." She said, looking away again.

"It's not silly, or a dream," he said, placing a gentle hand to her cheek.

She wasn't sure of where the willingness to tell him exactly how she felt had come from. But standing there in the fading light, the wind circling both of them, she suddenly wanted nothing else than to be closer to him. She leaned in pressing her warm lips to his. The familiarity of their lips connecting again after all this time was nothing short of pure bliss, each one doing their part to deepen the kiss. Caught up in each other, neither paid much attention to the light drops of rain that began fall. A few minutes later they parted coming up for air, just as the clouds burst into a pouring rain. Startled by the abrupt change in weather he reached for her hand to run back to the car. But her feet remained firmly planted in the sand. She pulled him close to her once again.

"Alicia, it's raining," he said, with a goofy smile across his lips, looking up into the stormy sky.

"I know." She cupped his face in her hands, and pressed her lips to his again. They were soaked through in a matter of seconds, but she didn't seem to care, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He smiled through the kiss, wrapping his arms firmly around her waist.

A few moments later the thunder crashed. Their lips parted the burning desire in both of them almost unbearable. "Let's go back to your place," she said. He nodded, pulling his suit coat of his shoulder, wrapping it around her. Her dress had become quite transparent being soaked in the rain.

Once inside his apartment their lips locked again, as they moved to the bedroom. Each taking things slowly as to familiarize themselves with each other again, he unzipped her dress, slipping it off her shoulders. She managed to get his shirt off, and was fumbling with his belt, as they fell to the bed. But the bubble they had found themselves in was burst in mere seconds after he climbed on top of her.

Anxiety filled her whole body, her muscles tensed. He was placing soft kisses along her neck, fumbling with her bra. "Will stop," she pleaded, as her lungs constricted. He paused and looked into her eyes, which were now filled with a look of fear. "Please, stop, get off, get off." she said, almost desperately, placing her hands to his bare chest, pressing gently so he'd move.

He immediately did as she asked. She sat up inhaling air as if she'd been under water to long, placing her arms around herself.

"Alicia," he said, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she said, as tears began to fall from her eyes. "I can't do this." She stood, keeping her arms wrapped tightly against her skin. She turned and looked at him. "I'm sorry," her body was trembling.

He stood, moving quickly to her. He placed his arms around her pulling her in close, her head rested against his chest. "It's okay. Just breathe."

"I'm sorry, I thought it would be okay," she admitted through her tears.

He lifted a hand to her chin, forcing her to look up at him. "You don't have to apologize. Its fine, I understand," he smiled. "You're safe."

"I'm cold, I can't stop shaking." Her heart rate remained elevated. She felt if he let go of her, she'd begin to spin downward, and collapse.

"Let's get you into a warm shower. I'll make you something hot to drink." He kept one hand on her, as they moved to the bathroom. He started the water. She sat on the edge of the tub across from him. He pulled out some clean towels for her, and brought her some dry clothes to put on. He sat next to her on the edge of the tub.

"Do you need anything else?"

"No, thank you."

"I'll be in the front room. Stay in here for as long as you need."

She nodded, and he exited, closing the door behind him.

She emerged from his room some time later, her hair still damp. He held up the mug of hot tea for her. She accepted it curling up on the sofa next to him.

"You deserve better than this," she said, sipping the warm liquid.

"You are the best, I couldn't ask for anything more."

"What if it doesn't get better? What if I can't ever give you what you want physically?" She sat up and looked right into his eyes. He could see the doubt written all over them.

"Alicia, stop. We aren't building this relationship solely on its physical aspects. Tonight was too soon, not just because of the way your body reacted. There is no doubt we are physically attracted to each other. But we have to build this relationship on everything else as well. If this is meant to be it will all work out. When the time is right, it will happen. Until then, I'm not going to worry about it. I'm just happy you're here, sitting in my apartment," he smiled. "Wearing my clothes. We had a good night. If someone would have told me a year ago, you'd be sitting here just as you are tonight, I would have laughed in their face. I'm just glad you're back in my life. That is better than anything else we could have done tonight."

"Okay," she said, in nearly a whisper. Her worries put at some ease, she settled once again in his embrace.

"Why don't you stay here tonight?" he suggested.

"I can't, Grace is home."

"Grace called while you were in the shower, and said she was going to a friends for the night. Something about an early morning religion thing."

"And you gave her permission?" she laughed, with raised brow.

"She didn't really ask. She just told me to tell you."

Alicia nodded in acknowledgement. "I'll stay then," she said, placing her hand in his.

"Good. Maybe I'll sleep better with you in bed next to me," he said, pulling closer.

"Look on the bright side. If you don't, you won't have to find your phone in order to talk to me in the middle of the night."


	28. Chapter 28

Alicia stood at Peter's side after they emerged from the courthouse – the divorce was official. Eli said it would be a good idea to make a public statement, so that the rumors of the reasons for the divorce would be kept to a minimum.

Things ran smoothly. Peter was brief. He told the media he and Alicia had simply grown apart. That they had been through a number of struggles in recent years, had tried to work through them, but in the end they had both come to a mutual agreement that it would be best for them, and their children, if they severed their marital ties.

As usual there were a slew of questions coming from the journalists. After answering only a few, Peter ended the press conference. As he and Alicia began to walk away from the podium, one reporters question could be heard above the crowd.

"Governor, are you divorcing because of the affair your wife has been having with her former boss Will Gardner?"

Alicia paused, and turned back toward the crowd. Eli quickly stepped next to her. "Alicia, let it go. Keep walking," he urged.

The crowd had quieted some, as all eyes and cameras moved to Alicia. She felt Peter's hand grasp onto her arm, but she pulled away and walked the few steps back to the microphone. Eli began to panic, and moved towards her, but Peter held up his hand to prevent Eli from reaching her.

/

Diane rushed into Will's office. He had the news feed up on his computer screen. "Are you watching?" she asked.

"Yes," his eyes never waivered from the screen in front of him. He watched as Alicia remained composed, but gripped the sides of the podium.

"What's she going to say?" She moved behind Will so she could continue to watch. Will just shook his head. He was surprised Alicia would even give the reporter the time of day.

/

Alicia looked right at the man who had voiced the question. "Sir, I don't know where you're getting your information from, but let's make one thing clear - on the record. I am not having an affair with Mr. Gardner." Before she could continue the reporter spoke up.

"You were spotted last weekend with him on what looked to be like a date Mrs. Florrick. You were seen having lunch with him Wednesday afternoon - just two days ago. I have it on good authority that you spent two weeks with him at his cabin in Ohio two months ago, and that it was there where he was shot. Not at a client's cabin, where the incident was originally reported to have taken place."

Alicia was fuming inside. She had always been able to handle the press with ease and grace, despite her dislike of their intrusions into her private life. But turning what had happened to her, unbeknownst to nearly everyone - especially the public - into an incident of infidelity, was making it extremely difficult to remain calm.

"Do you have any comment in regards to these accusations Mrs. Florrick? Is the Governor divorcing you because you cheated on him?"

Her eyes bore right into him, her lips forming a thin line. "It's not Mrs. Florrick anymore. Two months ago I went to Ohio with Mr. Gardner because my life was being threatened. Mr. Gardner is a _friend_ ," she emphasized. "It was determined among several federal agents, my former husband, and myself, that going to Ohio would be a safe place for me to go under the radar, away from the man that was threatening my life. Despite those efforts - and under constant FBI surveillance during those weeks - that man found us. Mr. Gardner was shot trying to protect me from a bullet that likely would have taken my life. Last weekend we were out together. But as I already mentioned, we are friends. Our dinner together was merely my way of showing appreciation to him for saving my life."

Everyone thought she would stop there, but she didn't. "It's not any ones business what I do in my private life. But since I know how this will go if I don't comment - for the record - Peter and I signed our divorce papers a month ago. Today was a formality. If I had been out on a date last weekend I would not have been in any violation of any marital commitments. The next time you want to accuse me of something, get the facts straight first. Mr. Gardner saved my life. That is the only thing relevant or factual to your allegations."

She turned and walked past everyone. Reaching the car that waited for her, she climbed in, shutting the door before anyone could reach her.

Diane smiled. "Good for her. Hopefully the press will leave her alone now."

"Yeah," Will replied, contemplating Alicia's response. He knew full well the situation had gotten to her.

Diane stepped in front of his desk, seriousness filling her features. "Are you two dating now?"

He sighed. "We are... working through our issues right now."

She nodded, leaving him to his thoughts.

 **/**

"The new wall signs are in, and will be put up tomorrow. We started using the new letterhead and business cards today," Cary said, sitting across from Alicia at her desk.

"Good." She and Cary had been discussing firm business. Client's and the firm's name change to, Cavanaugh, Agos, and Associates.

"Okay, that's all for now." He stood and began to walk towards the door, but turned back around. She already seemed to be buried in her work.

"Are you okay? I mean, it's gotta be a little strange now that it's official."

Alicia looked back up at him, peering over the rim of her glasses. "I'm fine Cary, thanks. I don't think it's really sunk in yet. I don't know that it even will. It's been so long since Peter and I were really husband and wife, I don't know that it will feel any different than before."

He nodded. "Well if you want to talk, you know where to find me."

She smiled, nodding her head. "Thanks Cary."

 **/  
**  
But it had affected her. While divorcing was for the best, and what she and Peter had wanted, she hadn't taken any time to process, or mourn over the fact that the marriage she had had for twenty-one years was gone. And though very rocky at points, in the back of her mind throughout those difficult years, the marriage had provided some footing in her life, no matter how shaky.

To avoid thinking about it, she buried herself in work over the next few weeks. She and Will had spoken briefly the night of the press conference, but she had pretty much avoided him since then, responding to text messages with short answers, and never answering if he called. She cancelled her therapy appointments two weeks in a row, telling Natalie she had to much work that needed to get done. She and Cary barely spoke because they were on different cases, and he had spent a good portion of his days in court.

By the middle of the third week after the divorce, she had barely had any sleep in the past weeks. Grace was busy being back in school, so Alicia had spent her weekends at the office. When Cary had come in early Monday morning and found her already busy at work he asked her about the hours she'd been keeping.

"I think it's just an adrenaline rush from the divorce Cary, work has kept my mind off it - nothing to worry about," she smiled confidently, in an effort to convince him she was fine.

She thought she was fine. Work was enjoyable. She'd signed a few new clients over the past few weeks. But two days after Cary spoke with her, she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. She knew she needed some sleep, so she took some sleeping pills Natalie had prescribed for her, and fell back asleep.

Will didn't know what to think. At first he figured she just needed some space for a few days. But at this point he was slightly irritated, at her lack of contact. If she wanted some space, he was fine with that, but he expected her to tell him, not just avoid him.

When Cary still couldn't get a hold of her the following day, he began to worry. He went to her apartment around noon, but got no answer. He called Will on his way back to the office.

"Have you talked to Alicia since Monday?" he asked.

"No, why?" Will asked, grabbing a file off his desk.

"Because she hasn't shown up to work for two days, and she isn't answering her phone. I just left her apartment, she wasn't there, or didn't answer."

Will sighed. "Did you try calling Grace?"

"Yes, but I didn't want to worry her. She said she hadn't noticed if Alicia was home last night, or this morning before she went to school."

"What do you mean she didn't notice?"

"She got home late. Alicia wasn't in the main part of the apartment and she went to bed. This morning she woke up late, so had to rush out to get to school on time. Will I'm worried. Ever since the divorce she's spent every waking hour, and then some, at the office. She'll barely acknowledge my presence when I try to talk to her. It's not like her to not call in."

"Okay, Cary look. I have to be in court in fifteen minutes. I'll try to get a hold of her, but she's been avoiding me too."

The two hung up, and Will tried both Alicia's cell, and her home phone, but got no answer. He was still irritated with her, but was worried now. He'd try to get through court as quickly as he could.

 **/**

He called Cary around four, still no word from Alicia.

"Let me call the psychologists office. She's supposed to be there now. Maybe she just needed a break for a day," Will said, making his way to his car.

He grew more concerned when Natalie told him she wasn't there, and that she had cancelled the previous two weeks. He drove straight to her apartment.

"Alicia," he called, banging on the door again. A few minutes later when she still hadn't answered, he sighed, leaning against the wall. A few minutes later Grace stepped off the elevator and let him into the apartment.

They both went straight to Alicia's room, where they found her sleeping.

"Is she okay?" Grace questioned, as Will put a hand to Alicia's sleeping body.

"I'm sure she's fine," he said quietly, moving his hand to nudge Alicia awake.

She opened her eyes, and peered at him and Grace. She felt sluggish, as she attempted to focus and wake up some more.

"What are you doing here?" she said, looking at Will. She managed to move to a sitting position.

"Making sure you're not dead," he said, with a hint of irritation. "What have you been doing the past two days? Cary's going crazy."

"I've been sleeping. I'm tired. I just needed to rest. Why? What's wrong?" She peered over to Grace who seemed relieved, and decided to leave Alicia and Will alone.

He ran a hand through his hair. Court hadn't gone well, and he was doing his best to remain calm. "I understand you're tired. Cary said you've been working nonstop. But Alicia, it's not normal to sleep for two days straight. You didn't call into work, Cary's worried sick, not to mention you haven't returned a single one of my calls in two weeks."

"Did you come here to lecture me? Because I don't need a lecture Will. I told you I'm tired. I just needed a break. I took some pills so I could get some good sleep, that's all. I should have called Cary, but I didn't. I'll be back to work tomorrow. I don't see what the problem is."

"How many pills have you taken in two days?" He glanced at the bottle of pills on her bed side table.

"I don't know, a few yesterday morning, and then a few more in the middle of the night. Maybe one today…"

He picked up the bottle, reading the label. "You don't know? You could have overdosed on this stuff. You're only supposed to take one pill every twenty-four hours."

She pulled the covers away, and stood up. "So I took a few more than was recommended. I needed the sleep. I'm fine, you can go. I will call Cary, and be at work tomorrow."

He shook his head, and looked her right in the eye. "No"

"What do you mean no?"

He moved right in front of her. "I'm not leaving. You are not going to push me away again. Not this time, unless you're ready to end things now – permanently."

"I'm not trying to push you away," she protested.

"No? Then why haven't you returned any of my calls in two weeks?"

"I've been busy. You know how it is. I've been too tired to do anything but sleep when I get home at night."

"You're using work as an excuse to keep from dealing with the real issues. You're not tired because you've been working too much. You're tired because your life is in an upheaval right now, and you can't find the control and stability your used to having."

She knew he was right, and she hated the fact that she'd allowed herself to lose such control over things. She sat down on the edge of the bed, he sat next to her. "I don't know what to do. Things were going so well, and then the divorce was official, and that reporter… and I was so angry. What do I do?" she asked, glancing over to him.

"You stop skipping therapy, and trying to do everything on your own. You have an office full of employees who can take a chunk of the caseload. You might be divorced, but Peter is still the father of your children, and from what I've seen, he is more than happy to step in when he needs to. You don't have to be super mom all the time. Needing people to support you, is not a sign of weakness." He reached over taking her hand into his.

"You want space, fine. Just tell me, but remember, if you're sad, or scared, or have a really good day and want to tell someone about it - I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded, leaning against his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her. It felt good to be in his arms again. "I'm sorry for not returning your calls. I felt suffocated, and it wasn't because of anything you did."

"Okay"

They sat in silence for a few moments. "This psychological stuff is real isn't it?" she said, glancing over to the bottle of medication. "I really could have taken too many pills and… I didn't even care. I just wanted to sleep."

"Yes, it is real. Which is why you're going to get showered and then I'm taking you to see Natalie. She said she could still see you tonight."

Alicia stood, and headed towards the bathroom. "Then I'm cooking dinner for you and Grace," she said.

"We can get takeout," he said, standing.

She turned towards him, shaking her head. "You eat out to much, and cooking a meal for you is certainly the least I can do."

 **/**

An hour later, Alicia was sitting in Natalie's office, and Will was in the waiting room. Thirty minutes later Alicia emerged from the office. Will stood and went to her, placing his hands on her arms.

"How did it go?"

"Good. Natalie wants to talk to both of us. Are you okay with that?"

"Sure"

They entered the office and both sat on the sofa across from Natalie. They chatted casually for a few minutes before Natalie got to the point.

"I think it would be helpful in a few weeks, after I've worked with Alicia a bit more, to have Will join us for a portion of a few sessions." She looked at Will, who seemed a bit surprised. "You're obviously going to play a major role in her support system. That's good. She trusts you. I may be making unwarranted assumptions here, but I assume your relationship will progress in more ways than just support. With your background together, and the nature of her rape, it may pose some… unexpected issues."

Both Will and Alicia knew exactly what she was talking about. It already had caused some issues as far as intimacy had been concerned. Alicia glanced at Will, and then looked back to Natalie.

"Yes, I think that's a fair assumption." Will nodded in agreement.

"I think things will go smoother for both of you if we can talk through a few things, and I have a few suggestions I think might be helpful when the time comes. Are you both comfortable with that?"

They both agreed, and a few minutes later walked out of Natalie's office together.

Later that night, Alicia walked Will to the elevator, after their meal with Grace.

"I think she likes you," Alicia mused, as they came to a stop outside the elevator.

"Yeah, I thought that went pretty well."

"Are you sure you're okay meeting with Natalie?" she questioned, becoming more serious.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, and smiled. "Yes"

"I still don't deserve you," she said, moving a bit closer to him.

He pulled her into a hug, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"Yes, you do, and don't ever think otherwise."


	29. Rebuilding a Relationship

After Will left Alicia's, she decided it was time to talk to Grace about Will. They had talked about the press conference a few weeks back. But things were changing, and she knew Will would be spending more time with her, and likely Grace. She wanted Grace to be comfortable with the situation.

"Will may be... we will be seeing more of him... here. Are you going to be okay with that?" she questioned, sitting next to Grace on the sofa.

"Yes, I just..." She didn't know what to say. Not because she disapproved of Will, or her mother spending time with him.

"Grace, I'm not trying to replace your dad with Will."

"I know. I just don't understand your relationship with him."

"I know, and I want to explain. You understand why I said the things I did at the press conference when the divorce was announced. We discussed it, and you know Will and I weren't sleeping together. The part about me denying an affair was true."

"Yes, but are things getting that serious? Is he moving in with us?" Grace was feeling quite uncomfortable.

"No, no. He is... helping me through some of the stress of recovering. He and I are good friends. We care about each other. We are trying to build our friendship again. All that's happened to me over the past five months has been hard. Right now, I'm struggling mentally. That's why Will came over this afternoon. He knew what I needed, and knew how to help me."

"Isn't that why you are seeing the psychologist?"

"Yes, but with that I need to be able to talk to someone when I'm not at the psychologists office who understands. Will understands better than anyone else."

"Because of the rape, and when you went to Ohio with him?"

"Yes, and because of our history. I trust him. After what happened to me, it's difficult to put my trust in many people. Right now I need support from another adult. He and I aren't going to rush into anything. But down the road, there is a chance things will become serious between us. I'd like you to get to know him better."

A gentle smile crosses Grace's lips. "He's a good guy isn't he?"

"Yes. He's one of the most caring men I've ever known."

"Okay. I just wanted to understand better, and now I do."

Alicia pulled her into a hug. "I love you."

* * *

After Alicia's crash, Natalie decided it might be good to take a step back and address the depressive symptoms she was showing, as well as deal with Alicia's history with Peter. All of this added extra sessions to her recovery timeline. Although Will hadn't attended any of the sessions with her yet, she had learned a few things about herself, which allowed for more open communication with him.

Over the next few weeks, Will came around the apartment more. He, Alicia and Grace had dinner together a few times. They spent a Saturday afternoon together. These small gestures on Alicia's part, allowing him to get to know Grace better, helped solidify his trust in her feelings towards him. Taking a good portion of the physical aspect out of their relationship, had only aided in bringing them closer together.

At points during those weeks, he'd find himself watching her like he used to, and wanting nothing more than to feel her next to him. In these moments she'd catch his eye and give him a look that sent a tingling sensation through his entire body. But they continued to keep their physical contact with each other to a minimum. They would sit next to each other. He'd put his arm around her, hold her. There had been a few nights where they had kissed before parting ways, but ever since their first date it hadn't gone any further. They hadn't discussed it, and in many ways, neither one knew where to go to next. They were both nervous about the situation.

By the end of November, they'd had two joint therapy sessions, where Natalie had focused on their communication, and rebuilding a new trust in each other. She had given them a list of exercises to work on during the weeks. Most of which they found easy to accomplish, and silly in some ways.

The following session focused on the physical aspects of their relationship, both past and present. This session was a little more difficult to get through, purely because discussing intimacy with an outsider was uncomfortable, even if it was with a trained therapist.

"I think we would both like more... intimacy," Alicia spoke up. "But after what happened a few months ago... I'm nervous, despite the fact that we've had a few good months together." She looked away from both Will and Natalie. "I'm worried that I'll never be able to feel comfortable or safe under intimate circumstances. It's one thing to talk about how I'm feeling, practice breathing techniques, and do self talk exercises. It's completely different to remove all my clothing and feel... vulnerable. I don't want to feel tense and scared once our physical contact moves past a passionate kiss." She glanced back at Will who tightened his grasp on her hand.

"I don't want to push her into anything that scares her. But I would like more intimate, physical contact. It's a different way of feeling connected to a person. I don't know what to do, other than give her more time."

"It will take time. This is a process. Once you're ready, and it sounds like both of you are, it may take weeks, even months before you'll be able to progress all the way to intercourse," Natalie said, empathetically.

Alicia glanced over to Will who hadn't taken his eyes off her in minutes. He knew she felt guilty. "It's okay. I don't care how long it takes. I don't want you to worry, or feel guilty on my account, because of the way your body reacts. The relationship we had four years ago was very physical. It will be great once we are able to add some of that back in. But maybe that's part of the reason we couldn't make it last back then. We never talked about us. We talked about everything else, but never how we felt about each other. This is different.

"Will's right. The relationship you're building now is strong, and healthy. I'm going to recommend you try what's called, conscious connecting exercises. It's a method used for couples in all types of situations, but is especially helpful for those that involve a sexual assault victim. This is a progressive method that will help both of you, but especially Alicia, reconnect physically, and move back into intimacy and love making slowly, and safely."

She handed each of them a copy of the plan. "You can read through this together. The first few steps are to be done fully clothed. Don't move on to the next step until Alicia is comfortable with the preceding one. The first few may only take a few weeks to get through. Steps four through six will likely take longer before Alicia will feel comfortable enough to move to the next. I'd leave it up to her to decide when she's ready to move on."

They read through the information and asked a few question. When they were done, Natalie told them she wanted to see Alicia in a week and both of them sometime after the New Year.

* * *

A few days later, they had set aside some time to work on the first step. Will was at Alicia's, and they had planned on running through things later in the evening after Grace had gone to bed. Until then, Will was enjoying observing Grace and the group of friends she had over.

Alicia had just set an empty tray of snacks on the counter. "Are they always like this? They haven't stopped talking during the entire movie, but they seem to know what's going on even though none of them have seen it before."

Alicia laughed. "Yep, it's always like this. They're busy trying to act grown up, and mature as high school seniors because they know they're going to college soon. But deep down they're still just kids, dealing with hormones, crushes, and worrying about how they look." She looked over to the living room. "I would never want to be a teen again."

"Me either," he responded with a cough.

"Are you feeling okay? You've been coughing all afternoon." Alicia moved closer to him, placing a hand to his forehead.

"I'm fine. My throat's been dry all day."

"I'm sending you home early tonight to get some sleep. We can work on our plan tomorrow night."

He let out a slight laugh. "Yes, mom."

She rolled her eyes. "Someone has to look out for you, or that cough will get worse, and in a few days I'll be at your place nursing you back to health."

He chuckled again.

"What's so funny?"

"Up until the last few weeks, I hadn't ever been around you when you're in full on mother mode. The snacks for the kids' friends, pretending to not listen in on their conversations, calling Zach and cracking down on him over his grades."

He stepped closer to her wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Do you have a problem with that?" Her smile widened, as she moved closer to him.

"No, I enjoy it. I'm discovering a side of you I've never known. A side I never thought I'd be allowed to see."

Her hands moved to his chest. "What sides of you do I still have to discover?"

"None. I'm an open book," he said, raising his brow.

"I doubt that."

He let go of her, and backed up as another coughing fit set in.

"That's it. I'm sending you home." She moved past him and around the corner. A minute later she returned. "Take this," she said, holding up a bottle of cough syrup. "And one of these now, and one before you go to bed." She handed him a box of zinc tablets.

He took them from her, and then held them up with a grin across his face. "Mother mode!"

"Don't tease or I'll follow you home and make you stay in bed for the next three days until you're well, and you won't get any work done."

He laughed under his breath, and kissed her forehead. "I'm not sick."

"Uh huh," she took his hand, leading him to the front door. "See you in a few days."

* * *

Three days later she went to his office for a scheduled lunch date. She knocked on the door to his office. Diane was standing in front of him. Diane signaled for her to enter. They exchanged pleasantries, and then the two women turned their attention to Will who was sitting with his eyes closed, and head resting against the back of the sofa. Alicia sat next to him. He smiled at her without opening his eyes. She noticed he wasn't looking so good.

"I think he should go home," Diane offered, placing her hands to her hips. "But he won't listen to me."

"I'll be fine Diane. I just need to rest for a few minutes."

"Will, you sound awful." Alicia lifted her hand to his forehead. "Our lunch just got moved to your apartment."

He opened his eyes and looked at her ready to protest. But his head was throbbing from sinus congestion. He didn't put up any more of a fight.

Alicia drove him home, and led him straight to the bedroom when they entered the apartment. He collapsed onto the bed. She began removing his shoes. "Leesh, I feel awful. My whole body aches."

She smiled and gently unbuttoned his shirt. "Do you have anything to take for the congestion?"

He moved under the covers and laid his head against the pillows. "I don't know. It's been a long time since I felt this awful."

She tucked the blanket around him, and went in search of some medication. It took a few minutes to locate any. After looking through both bathrooms, and all logical places in the kitchen, she was about to give up. When she grabbed a can of soup from the cupboard, she had to laugh. There was a bottle of pain reliever tucked among the other cans. She couldn't help but compare the organized lawyer in him, to the obvious bachelor.

She returned to the bedroom, and sat next to him. "Take this. It will help with the fever, so you can get some rest. I have some soup on the stove. I'll bring it in for you before I go back to the office. I'll come later with something for the sinus pressure."

"Thank you. I'd kiss you if I didn't think you'd get sick."

She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss to his temple. "Stay in bed while I'm gone. You need to rest." She stood and left the room.

* * *

She spent much of her free time away from the office, at Will's over the next few days. She made him meals, kept him entertained, and even did a few loads of laundry, and some straightening up. They were on the sofa in the front room. She was working. He was laying down watching a basketball game. He noticed how nervous she had seemed throughout the evening. "Something is bothering you."

She looked up from the laptop and over to him. "I'm going back to court next week, and I'm nervous. I've been able to avoid it ever since..." she sighed. "I did everything I could to put it off. I managed to settle cases outside of court. I gave Cary and the other partners the cases that I could tell would need to go to court. Six weeks ago I decided it was time to stop avoiding the courtroom. Monday will be my first case before a judge in seven months."

Will hadn't realized any of this. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yes. I'm sure it will be fine. I'm just feeling nervous, being a bit out of practice, and with all of the memories from the last time I was in court, it's just a bit unsettling."

Will nodded.

"I'm thinking of buying a house," she stated next.

"A house?" he questioned, his voice still filled with congestion. He was surprised at the abrupt turn in the conversation.

"Yes. Somewhere out of the city. I don't want a long commute, but I feel trapped in the apartment, all the noise, and sharing walls with other people. When I walk out the front door, I want to be outside in my own space."

He was still processing the idea so didn't respond.

"You think it's a bad idea?"

"No," he sat up and smiled at her. "I think it's a good idea. How much space are you thinking? I mean, you'll be an empty-nester in six months."

"Not to big. Enough room for the kids to be comfortable when they visit, an office space, big kitchen, and lots of light."

"When I come over can I move things around like you did here?" He raised a brow to her.

She couldn't help but laugh at his comment. "I didn't move things around. I just made sure you had clean socks, a linen closet full of clean towels, and a refrigerator with something other than beer and eggs in it."

He leaned in closer to her. "And I appreciate all the clean clothes, towels, blankets, and fully stocked kitchen."

"Good, then yes, you can move things around to wherever you want when you're at my new place."

A look of victory crossed his features, as she leant in to kiss his cheek.

"You're going to do great in court next week. Your negotiating skills are still top notch." he encouraged.

She sat back and closed her eyes, a feeling of unwarranted exhaustion setting in. "As long as I'm healthy. If I'm coming down with something, I'm blaming you."

He chuckled and laid the other half of his blanket over her, as she rested her head against his chest. "Fair enough counselor, fair enough."

 **A/N: Thank you all so much for reading, and sticking with me through this. There is only one chapter left which will be published in the next few days.**


	30. Anger

**A/N: After reading through all the amazing reviews from the last chapter, I decided to add upon a few things I had in the final chapter. It ended up being super long. So you get an extra chapter I wasn't planning on! I appreciate your confidence in my ability to write Alicia through therapy sessions, which I know some of you would have liked to have seen. I don't feel like I'm capable of doing that situation justice, which is why I decided to not write more of it than I already have. Again, I am truly appreciative to all of you who have read and stuck with me through this story! One more to go after this, unless I get caught up in an idea again, and write more.**

After the New Year, Natalie cut Alicia's appointments down to every three weeks. She was making good headway, finding confidence in herself, her abilities, as well as gaining some much anticipated control over some of the depressing, and destructive thoughts that had been so common in primonths. She felt as though she were truly healing, feeling safe and confident in the world around her once again. By mid February, work had become something she enjoyed again, instead of a way to distract herself from life.

She and Will had made progress as well. Finding and exploring new ways to be physically close had deepened their bond. Even when the act was as simple as sitting on the floor cross legged in front of each other holding hands, staring into each other's eyes, and attempting to get their breathing in rhythm.

But after the week she'd had, Alicia had called and set up an intermediate appointment with Natalie.

She sat on the familiar sofa, muscles tense. "I'm angry," she blurted out, after a few minutes of small talk. "So angry, and I don't know what to do. I feel like I've taken five gigantic steps back this week into deep water. I knew there would be setbacks, but the rage I'm feeling right now, is out of control. I was angry when I found out that Peter had cheated on me, I've been truly angry at other points over the years. But in all of those instances, I also felt something else along with the anger, hurt, guilt. Not now. The past few days all I feel is anger, pure anger towards Pierson and it's bleeding into my relationships at work and home. I can't let this continue."

"We can address this. But I want to point out that calling me when you could see things were beginning to spiral out of your control, says a lot about the progress you've made over the months. It's important to remember that when things like this come up, how far you've come from the first day you stepped into my office."

Alicia nodded, feeling somewhat relieved about making the decision to come see Natalie in the first place. Her first instinct had been to try and get past it, but the last thing she wanted to do was end up in a pointless argument with Will or Cary that would take days to fix. She began to see what Natalie was saying, and she knew that at some point in the future when situations arose similar to this, she'd be able to handle it on her own.

"This is perfectly normal. To feel anger towards an abuser is common. Victims go through a variety of phases during recovery, and anger can be one of them. I don't want you to feel like it's a step backwards in your recovery. It's more of a step forward in taking your life back."

"So what do I do?"

"Was there something specific that triggered the anger?"

Alicia exhaled, and folded her arms. "Yes," she paused, biting her lower lip. "I grew angry last weekend. The morning after Will and I had..." she sighed. "We were doing so well. I had finally become comfortable feeling his hands on me, in just our underwear. I'd been able to remain calm, and relaxed even when his hands moved to my breasts, and other sensitive areas. Finally after so much time, feeling his fingers through the thin fabric didn't immediately make my body stiffen. It was pleasurable, exciting. The way it used to be."

She looked down at her fingers and shook her head. "The other night I thought we could try the touching exercises without any clothing. I felt ready. I had no reason to think that removing the last layer of clothing would be a problem. We'd come so far. And the thought that if we could get through the exercises a few times in the nude, that we'd finally be able to reconnect and begin making new memories together. Will has been so patient through this process, and it hasn't been easy for him at times to show the restraint he has." She looked back up at Natalie and smiled. "Men are simply more easily aroused than women. We would talk about it. He would admit it was difficult to be so aroused and then not be able to act on the feeling. But he never complained. After we completed the exercises on these occasions, we'd talk for a few minutes, he would take me into his arms, and kiss me, and we moved on. But the other night... all the old fears and tension came flooding back."  
 _  
They were at his place. They had spent the chilly Saturday afternoon together looking through listings for homes in various Chicago suburbs. She wanted something near the lake, but everything they had come across fitting her needs, needed a lot of work. She hadn't mentioned the idea of him moving in with her, but having him look through the listings with her, was her way of gauging what he might like._

 _Later on, she'd cooked dinner for them. Eventually things had moved to the bedroom. The lights were turned low. He had turned the heat up a few degrees. They had learned over the past few weeks that taking the necessary time to practice, and enjoy each other, could become chilly with the midwinter air outside._

 _She had taken her turn first. Running her fingers over, and eventually massaging the areas over his back, buttocks, and legs. He turned over, and she continued the motions all over his front. She enjoyed the fact that these exercises weren't solely based around her. That he was also given the opportunity to help guide her hands, and tell her what he liked, and disliked. On this particular evening, she had spent more time than usual running her hands over his chest. Then her hands moved lower. Their eyes remained fixed on each other, and she couldn't help but smile at the desire and passion in his eyes._

 _"You are so beautiful." He released his hand from hers and brought it to her cheek. She looked down shyly, and brought her hands to rest on his chest. "I mean it Leesh. Inside and out, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever set eyes on."_

 _She leaned over and pressed her warm lips to his for a brief moment, then pulled away._

 _"Are you ready?" he asked, placing his hands on her arms._

 _She nodded, shifting from her sitting position, to lie on her stomach. "Pull the blankets over my legs, I'm a little chilly," She said, as she crossed her arms, resting her head on them comfortably._

 _He pulled the blankets over both of their legs, as he sat next to her. Everything went smoothly as he ran his hands over her back, and legs, stopping periodically to make sure she was still okay. She felt completely relaxed and was engulfed in his touch as she turned over onto her back. He ran his hands along her face circling his thumbs over her lips and around her cheek bones. His hands moved to her neck, and then her shoulders making their way down her arms to her fingertips._

 _He hadn't made any sudden movements, or motions, as his hands moved back up her arms, and descended down her collar bone towards her chest. Just as he moved a gentle finger to her breast, her body stiffened, filling with tension. Her lungs constricted, and she bolted to a sitting position gasping for air. The soft eyes that had just seconds before, been gazing into his, had turned to a look of fear, and sorrow._

 _Will shifted to a straighter sitting position, placing his hands softly on her arms. "What did I do? I'm sorry." He sounded panicked. She continued to stare at him breathing deeply to regain control over her body. He didn't have to ask any more questions as her arms moved crossing over chest as if she were protecting herself. Tears began to spill from her eyes._

 _"It's okay," he reassured her, as he pulled the blanket up covering her arms and wrapping it around her back. He moved in order to fit more comfortably next to her, bringing a hand to her cheek wiping at her tears with his thumb._

 _"I can't..." Her eyes moved towards the painting on the wall. "He..." She inhaled, biting her lips, pulling her arms out from under the blanket peering down briefly._

 _"He what?" Will asked, in a gentle tone, taking her hands into his._

 _She looked back into his trusting eyes. "You know how much I enjoy... enjoyed, your attention to my breasts?"_

 _Will nodded affirmatively, moving closer in an effort for her to feel safe._

 _She looked down at the blanket that was fitted securely around her. "When he wanted me to play his stupid game, allowing him to watch me... get to a point of falling over the edge, I knew one of the quickest ways to turn me on, and get the horror over with, was if he..." She wanted to bolt, and hide behind him all at the same time._

 _"Was if he fondled your breasts," Will stated, heartache etched through his voice._

 _She nodded, as more tears fell from her eyes. "But he didn't just... massage them. When he knew that would give him the upper hand, he wouldn't leave them alone. His lips, his fingers..." She looked down again, and he placed a gentle finger to her chin._

 _"Look at me," he said softly. She brought her eyes up slowly to meet his gaze. "It's going to be okay. I promise."_

 _Her confidence in his words forced a tear stained smile to cross her lips. He pulled her close so she could rest against his chest in his warm embrace._

"When I got up the next morning, I felt off. I went home. As the day progressed I grew more and more angry at Pierson. It's only become worse as the week has progressed. After I snapped at Cary for no reason, and could barely sit with Will through lunch without every little thing bothering me yesterday, I decided it was time to call you."

Natalie nodded. "You did the right thing. We can work through this."

She called Will as she left Natalie's office, and asked if he would come by her apartment when he got done with work.

* * *

It was nearly nine before he arrived. He looked concerned as soon as she opened the door.

"What's wrong? You've been off for days now." He followed her into the kitchen. It was Friday night, and Grace was out. She turned to face him placing her hands on the counter behind her.

"I'm angry Will."

"At me?" he questioned, with raised brow.

"No. At Pierson. I'm tired of my whole life, at points, revolving around what he did to me. I'm tired of believing everything is back to normal, and then something happens to change that. I hear a loud popping sound on the streets and freeze. I stand in court and tense up every time a judge bangs a gavel." Her voice had risen. He moved closer to her.

"I'm angry at how much he hurt me. How I'm the one who has to live with it every day, and how he doesn't have pay for what he did. I'm not the kind of person who wishes suffering on anyone, but I want him to suffer. I want him to hurt as much as I did. I want someone to stand over him with a gun pointed at his head so he knows what it's like to think you're about to die. I have all of this built up rage, and I don't know how to get rid of it." She paused, calming down some. It felt good to voice her feelings. "I'm sorry I've been distant this week, but I didn't want to take it out on you. I just want it go away Will. I want to move on with my life. I want to be close to you, and not be reminded of him."

He moved closer to her wrapping his arms firmly around her, his dark eyes piercing into hers. "You went and talked to Natalie today?"

"Yes"

"That's good. What did she say?"

His ability to remain calm, understanding, and talk through things with her, was beyond what she ever expected of him, and she loved him the more for it. "That I needed to find a way to release the built up energy. Take up running, or find something similar to relieve the stress. She also said to continue working on the bare skin exercises. That it will get better over time. That finding a different place to do that, other than a bed, might be good until I can remain in a relaxed state."

A sly grin crossed his lips. "You mean we might have to be creative?"

She laughed gently. "Yes"

"Okay, I have an idea."

"I'm not taking my clothes off right now," she informed him sternly.

"No, no. I have an idea I think might help in getting some of that built up energy out."

"How?"

"Go put on some comfortable clothes. Yoga pants, a t-shirt."

"I'm not running in this cold weather with you," she said, moving past him towards the bedroom.

He only chuckled as she closed the door behind her.

They stopped by his apartment so he could change. No matter what she did to get him to talk, he wouldn't tell her what his plan was. Not to long after leaving his place, he pulled up to a fitness center. Once inside he took her near the back and into a closed off room. A few punching bags hung from the ceiling in the middle of the space. She sat on a bench and stared at him like he was completely crazy.

"Don't look so skeptical," he chuckled, sitting next to her taking her hand into his.

"I didn't know this was one of your workouts," she smiled, looking up at him.

He continued to wrap her hands and wrists. "I took it up after," he paused, thinking this might not be the best time to bring this particular aspect of his workouts up. He exhaled, and shook his head.

"After what?"

He looked up at her as he placed the light weight gloves over her hands. "After you left Lockhart Gardner." He began wrapping his own hands. "After you left, I spent all my time doing three things. Trying to destroy your firm whilst building mine up, having lots of meaningless sex, and this. Because for awhile, running didn't quite get all of my anger out."

She felt a surge of guilt, even though she knew he didn't mean for it to be that way. He leaned over and kissed her temple. "Don't worry about it. It did me some good, and now I think it will do the same for you."

He stood behind her and showed her some proper technique. She stood in front of one of the bags, still skeptical this was a good idea. He stood in front of the other. "Now give it all you've got," he encouraged. She threw a punch a few times, without much effort or energy, and then watched him make a few moves.

"Harder Alicia. Picture his face on the leather surface."

She threw another punch, and then moved closer to her. "Harder. Let him have it. He can't control you anymore." She struck harder and with more force this time. "Make him suffer."

Those were the last words of his she registered. Something struck a chord within her, which set the rage free. She went after the sack with everything she had. He moved back to his, keeping a close eye on her for the next thirty minutes. He was surprised she was able to keep the intensity up for so long. After one final punch, and strong kick of her leg, she collapsed to the floor in heavy breathing. She lay on her back, legs bent at the knees. He handed her a towel to wipe the sweat away, and sat next to her. "That was amazing," she said, still breathless.

"Just wait until tomorrow, you won't be able to move," he chuckled lightly.

"I think that helped." She sat up and took the water bottle from his hands. "I need a long shower now." She replaced the cap to the bottle and handed it back to him.

They were driving back to her apartment. "Why don't you stay with e tonight? You have some clothes in my closet now."

He agreed to stay. Once inside the bedroom, she began to remove her sweated clothing. "I'll let you shower first," he offered pulling his shirt off.

She paused at the door to the ensuite. "Why don't you join me?" She turned around to find a puzzled look on his face. She walked towards him, pausing just in front of him. "Natalie said we should try different places. The one place he never penetrated my space was in the shower. I want this to work Will. I want to try again."

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her bare body close to him. "Okay, but we agree to stop if you grow even the least bit concerned." He pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss.

The warm water was soothing over her muscles that had begun to tighten from overuse. They took turns massaging one another's backs, and shoulders releasing the tension from the day. Standing allowed for both of them to explore the other at the same time more easily. The movements remained slow and soft. Her hands rested on his chest as they continued in a passionate kiss. He broke the kiss, and traced circles just under her neck, slowly moving in a downward motion. For a brief seconds she thought she might tense up once his finger reached the pale skin of her breast. To her surprise, with the warm water rushing over them, and the romantic positioning of their bodies, she didn't immediately want to push away. She held her gaze to his. "Should I go further?"

She nodded affirmatively. His fingers moved slowly downward, finally reaching her nipples. She inhaled, and he went to pull his hand away, but she placed her hand over his to keep it where it was. She leaned in wrapping her arms around hi neck, and pressed her water stained lips to his. His hands remained in place for a few moments before they began to travel further downward pressing softly on her ribs, then her abdomen.

He tried to deepen the kiss, but she pulled away. "Stop there, I don't think I can handle the touch any lower yet."

He smiled, bringing one hand up to her face, and brushing back the wet hair behind her ear. They remained in the shower a few minutes longer, until weariness began to take over.

She climbed into bed, the soft fabric of her long sleeved tee, and pajama shorts rubbing against his skin. She settled into his embrace. He turned out the lamp, and wrapped his other arm securely around her. They lay in content, comfortable silence for a few minutes, each growing more sleepy at every passing minute. "When I came over tonight, I thought you were going to be angry at me for picking up a case against one of your clients," he admitted, taking her hand into his.

"No, we're going to put your client back where he belongs." She rested her head against his chest, and looked up into his eyes. He only laughed, and pulled her in closer.

"We'll see."

Silence filled the room once more, her eyes growing heavy. "Leesh, I…" He wanted to tell her just how much he loved her. How over the past nine months, he'd grown to completely love her all over again, and how desperately he wanted her new home to be their home. But love was the one thing they had avoided saying, or admitting, even after everything they'd been through. He wasn't sure why. Saying it would certainly be appropriate at this point.

She turned her gaze to him once again. He placed a soft kiss to her nose. "I had a really good time tonight."

She could see the smile across his lips even in the darkened room. "So did I," she rested her head once again on his chest, placing a hand next to it, contentedly drifting off to sleep.


	31. New Beginnings

_**Epilogue**_

 _ **Two Years Later**_

The gentle lapse of the ocean waves breaking against the white sand could be heard in the distance. A light breeze allowed the morning sun to filter through the sheer white curtains of the master suite, allowing Alicia to take in the amazing view from their private bungalow. Their own piece of paradise with sandy beach, turquoise waters, hammock among the shade of the trees where she hoped to spend a good amount of time over the next week, mere steps from where she lay.

Will's sleeping body was pressed against hers, as she breathed in the fresh air, in pure, unsolicited, contentment, thinking back on the past two days. The ceremony had been small and simple. Family and their closest friends, attended at an outdoor venue near their home. The following day they had flown here. Her mind wandered to the previous night and the activities they had engaged in. First in the large open air soaking tub, and then the bed, with the softest coverings she'd ever slept in. They had only spent one night in this place, yet she already knew it would be hard to leave this place that was centered purely on them.

She shuffled under the sheets, turning to gaze at Will. She'd been the one to choose this place for their honeymoon. He told her he would take her anywhere in the world she wanted to go. Europe, so they could take in the art, old architecture, and amazing food. Australia, for some adventure, and snorkeling off the reef. Alaska, where they could lock themselves up in a cabin for a week, and try their hand at skiing. He even offered to take her to Africa, where they could observe the magnificent wildlife. But she had chosen this quiet private island that consisted of a twelve bungalow resort among the British Virgin Islands. She wanted space, and privacy, and no pressure to sight see. She wanted to spend a quiet, lazy, week alone with Will.

She ran a gentle finger over the scar that still remained across the back of his shoulder, smiling at the diamond on her finger sparkling as it caught the morning light. Her touch roused him from his sleep. He turned drowsily to face her, bringing his hand to her cheek leaning in to press his lips to hers.

"Last night was perfect," she smiled, tracing circles over his bare chest.

"Glad I could please, Mrs. Gardner."

The soft smile remained across her lips, as she grew deeper in thought.

"Everything okay?" he questioned, running a hand over the bare skin of her back.

She nodded affirmatively. "I've been thinking back over the past two years, and the day I finally felt like life was allowing us a second chance. The day I finally felt freed from tragedies grasp."

"The day I told you I loved you?" A boyish grin across his lips.

She rolled her eyes. "I said it first."

"I thought it first," he countered.

"That doesn't count! And anyway, how do you know you thought if first?" She rolled over to climb out of bed.

He sat up, bringing his knees to his chest. "Because, I fell in love with you in college. You didn't fall in love with me until years later."

She laughed, and tossed a pillow at him. "Maybe I did fall in love with you in college."

He reached up and pulled her back down on top of him. "Maybe?" He raised his brow to her. "That isn't a solid argument."

She sighed, placing a kiss to his cheek. "Let's just agree we mutually shared our feelings for one another two years ago, after court, at your apartment, in your bed. Is that "solid" enough for you?" she laughed.

He kissed the tip of her nose. "Yes. What do you want to do today?"

She pressed her lips to his. "Mmmm, I have a few ideas."  
 _  
It was their first meeting in court against each other since the Pierson case. Things had come together quickly, with barely enough time to gather all the information they needed, and conduct a few depositions. Will and Alicia had managed to keep things calm between one another during the process, leaving work at work, when they weren't at the office._

 _She entered the courtroom with confidences sitting next to Cary. Will was the one who had been worried about their day in court. They may well be at a point of calm between the firm's, but he and Alicia still knew how to push each other's buttons. The fact that this case has fallen with the same judge as the Pierson case, didn't bode well for Alicia. Judges sometimes held grudges, and Will was worried about the invisible taxes Alicia may have to pay after her conduct before this judge the last time._

 _Opening arguments went well. Will questioned the first witness, and the judge called for a short recess. When court resumed it was Alicia's turn. She stood and walked towards the witness as she began the cross. A few minutes in, Will objected. Alicia redirected the witness to a different line of questioning. Will objected again. Alicia glanced over at him slightly annoyed, subconsciously growing nervous. She shot back with an argument in defense of her client, which took both lawyers off topic. The judge didn't appreciate this, his memories from these two lawyers still too fresh in his mind to overlook the situation. The judge got after her, a bit too harshly in Will's opinion, which struck a nerve in her, anxiety and fear quickly flooded her body._

 _"Sorry your honor." She returned to questioning, as her body began to give way to shaky knees. She slowly moved back towards the defense table so she'd have something to hold onto for support if she needed, avoiding Will's concerned gaze._

 _A few minutes later Will didn't want to object again, but he couldn't let her last question go unanswered if he was going to fairly represent his client. He stood and objected. The judge sustained the objection. Diane, Will and Cary watched as her shaky hand moved to her notes long enough for her to gather her thoughts._

 _"Ms. Cavanaugh, do you have any more questions?" the judge asked._

 _Alicia looked up from her notes. "I..." She briefly glanced behind her, in full expectation of seeing Pierson sitting in the audience._

 _Cary stood. "Yes your honor, we do." He placed a hand to Alicia's forearm attempting to get her to sit._

 _"No, its okay," she whispered to Cary. She took a deep breath, and stepped out from behind the table towards the witness again. Will watched with concern, but soon she was back on her game, as though nothing had happened._

 _Court adjourned an hour later, and before anyone could say a word to her, she grabbed her bag and headed out of the courtroom. Will was right behind her._

 _"Alicia," he called after her, as she turned the corner towards the stairs. She paused allowing him to catch up to her, then grasped onto his hand leading him up the stairs. She didn't say a word until they were outdoors and out of sight on the small terrace at the back of the building. She leaned against the wall, closing her eyes, and breathing in deeply._

 _"You okay?" He moved in front of her, placing his hands on her arms._

 _She nodded affirmatively, opening her eyes that had become moist._

 _He stepped closer, bringing a hand to her face, brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear. "It's okay."_

 _"I know. That's the thing Will. It is okay." Tears spilled from her eyes. "I pushed through it. For a few minutes I wanted to bolt out of the courtroom, let Cary finish. But as quickly as the fear set in, it was gone." She looked into his eyes, a smile crossed her lips. "He doesn't have control over me anymore."_

 _He pulled her into a tight embrace. She wrapped her arms around his neck, peering out at the city skyline, as her tears continued to flow, enjoying the warmth and security of his embrace. A few moments later she pulled back, placing her hands to his cheeks, pulling him into an intense kiss. He deepened the kiss as her hands moved to his chest. They pulled apart briefly, her cheeks flushed. "Let's go back to your place." Her eyes remained on his, filled with desire, as her hands moved to the buttons on his suit coat._

 _"Leesh," his tone a mere whisper._

 _"I want you Will," she whispered back. "All of you." She stepped closer reaching for his tie._

 _He grasped her hands, a gentle smile across his lips. "Are you sure... you're ready?" He could barely stand there any longer, his body growing weak at the thought of having all of her for the first time in so many years._

 _"I'm sure." She took his hand, leading him back towards the building._

 _The clothes came off slowly, the intensity of their kisses deepening. It was evidence of their passion, but caution still needed to be taken. She lay on the bed as he showered her body with kisses. She did the same to him in return. Excitement at a peak, her legs straddled him as he brought his lips to her breasts. Some time later, she held the control as she lowered herself onto him, inhaling as the intensity of their movement increased._

 _Breathless, her body resting on his, tears streamed from her eyes once again. He grew worried. "What's wrong? Was it too much?" he asked, brushing the hair from her face._

 _"Nothing," Her gaze pierced his. "Will, I love you. I love you so much," Her tears continued to spill as he wrapped his arms around her and sat up._

 _"I love you too." He looked into her eyes, brushing at her tears with his fingers. She rested her head on his shoulder. They remained that way in each others arms until her tears subsided._

 _"Come live with me," she said, after calming down, a broad smile across her lips. "Please, come live with me in the house."_

 _He broke their gaze briefly. She grew worried, maybe he didn't want to live with her. "You only want me to move in with you so I can help with the renovations," he chuckled, in a teasing tone, turning his gaze back to hers._

 _"That's not true," she protested, slightly worried he was serious._

 _Her reaction only caused him to laugh. "I would love to move into the house with you."_

* * *

They had spent the afternoon on the water canoeing, and were now getting ready for dinner. He had just finished showering, and stood in front of the vanity, a towel wrapped around his waist. She stood next to him, applying her mascara. He couldn't keep his eyes off her. Her hair resting just below her shoulder, Her slim, toned figure in the sleeveless, fitted cream dress that flowed to just above her ankles. "New dress/" he inquired, as he spritzed a bit of cologne over his chest.

She replaced the cap to her lipstick and moved behind him, wrapping her arms under his around his waist, peering over his shoulder. "Yes, just for you!" She leaned in, kissing his neck, inhaling the familiar scent of the cologne - her favorite.  
 _  
They were packing up his apartment. He was in the bedroom emptying the closet. She was in the bathroom removing items from the medicine cabinet. She wasn't paying much attention as she placed toothpaste, dental floss, a box of bandages, and bottle of medication in the box. She pulled the last item from the cabinet that had been tucked away in the corner. Realizing what it was, she held the bottle in her hand, as if it were liquid gold, and sat on the edge of the tub._

 _"I get half the closet right?" he called from the bedroom. She didn't respond, caught up in her thoughts. "Leesh?" he called, a minute later. When she didn't answer, he rounded the corner to see where she was. Her back was towards him, her hair pulled up in a ponytail. "Leesh?" he said, calmly moving over to her to see what had a grasp on her attention. "What's that?" He sat next to her._

 _"The cologne I asked you to not wear last year,"_

 _He smiled, taking it from her hand. "I'd forgotten it was even still in the cabinet."_

 _"Why did you have so much faith in me last year? Why were you so willing to defend me? Trust everything I said? Willing to... take a bullet for me? We were enemies Will. You didn't have to."_

 _"Yes Alicia, I did. I defended you, believed in you because... you were, are, the best thing that ever happened to me. And our time apart only convinced me more. I wanted to be friends again, smooth things over, but I never thought you'd forgive me for the things I'd done. Then you went missing, there was a real decent chance I would never see you again, and it scared me to death." He set the bottle down, and took her hands into his. "As I was walking around in those hills, more and more time passed. I vowed that if you were spared, I'd fix things between us. And if fate allowed, I'd show you just how much I loved you. The law, the petty arguments, none of it mattered. I just wanted you, no matter the condition we found you in, no matter what the future held for you physically, or mentally."_

 _He picked the bottle back up. "I never used another drop of this after that night you showed up here, sore, bruised all over, and nervous as could be. Not wearing this, was the easiest thing I could do to show you I still cared. Alicia, I will never stop loving you. We did everything we could to poison the water between us, and yet I could never quite get to a point where I could live without you." She nodded, her eyes moist._

 _"Now, let's finish packing. There are a few things I want to do with you tonight in our newly renovated bedroom!" He leaned in, pressing his lips to hers._

 _"We'll have to keep things in the bedroom for awhile," she smiled and stood. He placed the bottle of cologne in the wastebasket._

 _"Or the kitchen," he said, raising a brow to her._

 _She laughed lightly returning her attention to the box she was packing. "Yes, the only two livable spaces in the house right now. We must be crazy."_

 _"The other spaces are livable. They just need a bit of work," he countered with a laugh. He went back to the bedroom. She reached into the small wastebasket and pulled the nearly full bottle of cologne back out._

"You smell good," she said, continuing to place kisses along his neck, her hands moving to the towel around his waist.

"I still can't believe you held onto this." He placed the bottle back on the vanity.

She let go of him, turning to lean against the wall next to him. "It meant a lot to me."

The night before the wedding she gave him back the old bottle of cologne. She told him she thought he should start wearing it again. That she missed being near him, and taking in the distinctive scent, that held so many good memories.

* * *

Only two days before they would return home, they were nestled together in the hammock. Each held a book, the warm afternoon breeze making the temperature perfect.

"Maybe we could just stay here. Never go home," she mused, closing her book and turning to snuggle into him.

He laughed softly. "We are going home. We didn't spend nine months turning that house into what it is now, just to let it sit and deteriorate again."

She snuggled closer running a hand over his chest. "We did do a good job renovating didn't we?"

"Yes, and I proposed to you in that house. I have good memories of that place already. I'm not about to give it up for... paradise."

"Can we at least get a hammock for the backyard?" she smiled, and looked up into his eyes.

"Yes. Your view of the lake, can substitute for your view of the ocean."  
 _  
The house was set on a hill a kilometer from the lake. A small two story structure, with good bones, but in desperate need of a makeover. She fell in love with it the minute she stepped onto the property. Maybe because she saw it as an opportunity to fix something she knew could be beautiful. Not dissimilar to her own process of recovery. It was livable, but the decor was out of date, and the house hadn't been inhabited for at least a year._

 _It was hard for him to imagine it the way she did, minus a few walls, new floors, paint, and an extension off the back that made for a large master suite upstairs, and the large kitchen she wanted on the main level. But he loved that she loved it, and that the idea of making it her own seemed to make her so happy. He loved the view from the back yard, lined with trees for privacy on both sides, and view of the lake in the distance. At that point he was still hoping he'd be allowed to live in it with her at some point._

 _The extension had to be finished before they could move in. By mid August that project was complete. They moved in, keeping a majority of their things in storage until the rest of the house could be finished. They worked on the renovations together, which mostly consisted of hiring the work out, and deciding on what tile pattern, wood grain, and wall color's to use. Near the end of the winter the major work had been completed. They took their time in decorating and getting the yard back into shape in the spring._

 _Life went on. After a year and a half from the day Alicia walked into Natalie's office, she finally said goodbye to the woman who had helped her through so much._

 _By fall they had gotten to a point where they could barely remember the time sixteen months earlier when they had lived apart. In late October they were sitting together snuggled up in a blanket watching the fall sun set across the lake. Something had become a typical Sunday evening practice for them. Soon it would be too cold to sit outside and watch the sunset. They would soon spend their Sunday evenings in front of the fireplace instead. She was getting cold, the late October air threatening a snow storm. She was ready to go back into the warm house, but he held her there. She didn't take him seriously when he said, "Marry me Alicia."_

 _She laughed a bit, snuggling closer to him to keep warm. "I don't know. Things are pretty good right now, and you don't have a ring." she smiled, playfully up at him._

 _He shifted away from her, forcing her to sit up. "What if I did have a ring? Would you say yes?"_

 _She couldn't tell from the look on his face if he was serious or not. "Of course I would... if you had a ring." She raised a brow to him. He leaned in, pressing his cold lips to hers. Moments later, as the sun faded, the last light of day making her skin glow. He got out from under the blanket, bending down on one knee, pulling a ring from his pocket._

* * *

He stood and watched her for a few moments, only a sheet wrapped around her body sitting peacefully on the deck waiting for him to bring her some coffee. He noticed as the morning sun reflected off her pale skin, how content she looked. Such a contrast to the few times in the early days of her recovery when he observed her and she'd looked so scared and alone. Throughout the week, he would pause periodically at the surreal feeling that she was his wife. They had come so far in the three years since her disappearance.

Later in the morning, they had gone to another island for a little sightseeing and shopping for their last day on the islands. He'd continued to quietly watch and observe her movements. He couldn't get over how beautiful she was in her big hat and sundress. How she smiled as they walked hand in hand down the streets lined with small bright colored shops, pointing out things that interested her. The way she laughed when she saw something amusing. How adorable he found it when her nose scrunched up at the sour taste of a local drink she had over lunch.

"You've been quiet today," she commented, as she took the last bite of her food into her mouth.

"I've just been enjoying being with you," he said softly, taking her hand into his from across the table. "There is something I've been meaning to talk with you about."

They paid for their lunch, and took a walk towards the beach. "So what's on your mind?"

"Peter has offered Diane another judgeship. With the passing of another judge, it seems his recent reelection as Governor has caused him to want to make amends."

"That's wonderful! Why didn't you mention it before now?"

"I've known for about two weeks. She told me to not tell you until after the wedding. She didn't want to take away from our big day. She and I will make the announcement to the firm next week."

"So what are you going to do? David Lee will be after her seat, you can count on that."

They both laughed, as they reached the sandy shore. "I know. Actually, I was thinking of dissolving the firm."

She stopped walking and looked up at him in surprise. "What?"

"Here me out. What if I were to join you and Cary? Bring my clients, and any others, as well as employees, who wanted to stay with me, to your firm?"

It took a moment to register what he was saying. "I'd have to talk to Cary, but I'm sure he'd be okay with it. Are you sure that's what you want?"

They slipped of their shoes, and continued to walk along the shore, the warm tropical water splashing over their feet. "It's not about being the biggest man on the block anymore. There is more to life than work. And if I bring my case load, and the others that I think would follow, the firm would be one of the largest in the city anyway." He stopped, and moved in front of her. "I miss working with you. We are good together."

She laughed. "In more ways than one," Her hands moved to his shoulders. "And what would we call this new firm, now that I share the same last name as you?"

"We keep Cavanaugh, Agos, and add Gardner to the end. It's less confusing that way."

"It might take some time and shuffling for me to find you a suitable office."

"It's fine. The transition will take at least six months anyway."

"I'll talk to Cary." She took his hand and they continued their stroll.

The evening rain kept them indoors. He continued to place soft kissed along her abdomen. She was ready to be done with this little game, longing for him to be inside her. She was ready to beg, and the look on her face nearly drove him over the edge. He was enjoying this a bit too much, taking as long as he possibly could to bring her to a point where she was pure putty in his hands. His lips trailed back up her torso as her back arched. "Please Will," her voice out of breath. "I need you now, I can't wait any longer."

He smiled, placing one last kiss to her lips. Then swiftly, wanting it as much as she did, he thrust into her causing an audible gasp to come from her. The pace quickened, until finally both cried out, allowing their bodies to reach the high.

Minutes later they lay tangled together under the soft blankets listening to the pouring rain. The thunder crashed a few times, she snuggled closer to him. He wrapped his arm around her more securely. It was one of those moments that had become rare. One of those moments where she would grasp onto him and get a distant look in her eyes during a thunderstorm, or when they were walking through a crowd. Not dissimilar to the other rare moments when he'd touch her in a certain way, and she'd put a stop to their love making. It never bothered him. He knew it was a part of her now that would hopefully continue to fade over time. Certainly there were things about him that she just moved past. On these rare occasions, without saying a word, he knew all she needed was his warm embrace to reassure her safety.

That night, they drifted off to sleep in each others arms to the sound of the rain, and the oceans waves. Everything they had been through over the past three years together had renewed, and strengthened their bond. He'd started out simply being her defense. without any expectations. But through the process, he'd become her greatest protector, and she'd become his everything.

 _ **The End**_

 **A/N: I cannot express enough appreciation to all of you who read, and stuck with me throughout this story! I am truly grateful. I hope you all enjoyed the ending.**


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